. . when you could spend nine lives napping? Take it from artist Jamie Shelman's wry and furry felines: Cats work reasonable hours (zero), love wisely (from a distance), and live boldly (until someone starts vacuuming). Don't go without these 100 sage lessons:Be especially attentive to the one person who doesn’t like you.Get away with murder by looking cute.Ignore anyone who doesn't worship you.Be pleased with your achievements, however small.The best solution to a problem is a nap.Live better—live like your cat!

    Browne and his love of precepts. Simply put, precepts are principles to live by, and Mr. Browne has compiled 365 of them—one for each day of the year—drawn from popular songs to children’s books to inscriptions on Egyptian tombstones to fortune cookies. His selections celebrate kindness, hopefulness, the goodness of human beings, the strength of people’s hearts, and the power of people’s wills. Interspersed with the precepts are letters and emails from characters who appeared in Wonder. Readers hear from Summer, Jack, Charlotte, Julian, and Amos.   There’s something for everyone here, with words of wisdom from such noteworthy people as Anne Frank, Martin Luther King Jr., Confucius, Goethe, Sappho—and over 100 readers of Wonder who sent R. J. Palacio their own precepts.

    And, for better or worse, I 'jotted' them down. It was only later, when perhaps I received an angry letter from someone, that it struck me: Hey! Someone's been reading my diary!"Gary Larson, from the preface to The Complete Far SideRevered by its fans as the funniest, most original, most "What the ... ?"-inspiring cartoon ever, The Far Side® debuted in January 1980 and enjoyed an illustrious 14 years on the worlds comics pages until Gary Larson's retirement in 1994. The Complete Far Side celebrates Gary's twisted, irreverent genius in this ultimate Far Side book, a lavish production, which takes its place alongside collector's-edition art books.A masterpiece of comic brilliance, The Complete Far Side contains every Far Side cartoon ever syndicated over 4,000 if you must know presented in (more or less) chronological order by year of publication, with more than 1,100 thathave never before appeared in a book. Also included are additional Far Side cartoons Larson created afterhis retirement: 13 that appeared in the last Far Side book, Last Chapter and Worse, and six cartoons that periodically ran as a special feature in The New York Times Science Times section as The Far Side of Science.Creator Gary Larson offers a rare glimpse into the mind of The Far Side®in quirky and thoughtful introductions to each of the 14 chapters. Complaint letters, fan letters, and queries from puzzled readers appear alongside some of the more provocative or elusive panels. Actor, author,and comedian Steve Martin offers his pithy thoughts in a foreword, and GaryLarson's former editor describes what it was like to be "the guy who could explain every Far Side cartoon."The Complete Far Side © 2003 by FarWorks, Inc. All Rights Reserved. The Far Side ® and the Larson ® signature are registered trademarks of FarWorks, Inc.

    Sam Halpern, who is "like Socrates, but angrier, and with worse hair," has never minced words, and when Justin moved back home, he began to record all the ridiculous things his dad said to him:"That woman was sexy. . . . Out of your league? Son, let women figure out why they won't screw you. Don't do it for them.""Do people your age know how to comb their hair? It looks like two squirrels crawled on their heads and started fucking.""The worst thing you can be is a liar. . . . Okay, fine, yes, the worst thing you can be is a Nazi, but then number two is liar. Nazi one, liar two."More than a million people now follow Mr. Halpern's philosophical musings on Twitter, and in this book, his son weaves a brilliantly funny, touching coming-of-age memoir around the best of his quotes. An all-American story that unfolds on the Little League field, in Denny's, during excruciating family road trips, and, most frequently, in the Halperns' kitchen over bowls of Grape-Nuts, Sh*t My Dad Says is a chaotic, hilarious, true portrait of a father-son relationship from a major new comic voice.

    Peanuts debuted in 1950 and became a global phenomenon, with book collections selling more than 300 million copies in 26 languages and television specials rerun year after year. To create this all-new Peanuts Guide to Life, we’ve combed through decades of comic strips to find those single panels which contain such pithy observations as “Babysitters are like used cars. You never know what you’re going to get,” and bits of wisdom like “Never lick ice cream off a hot sidewalk.” Each droll, stand-alone “speech bubble” or punchline appears with cartoon art. The panels are organized into short chapters, such as “Love” and “Life’s Little Quirks.” For the millions of faithful Peanuts fans, this is a collection of “greatest hits” to cherish and enjoy again and again.

    In other words, perfect." - The Huffington PostAn amusing and captivating tale that's a delightful primer for laughing at the inevitable: If you're a dinosaur, all of your friends are dead. If you're a pirate, all of your friends have scurvy. If you're a tree, all of your friends are end tables. Each page of this laugh-out-loud, illustrated humor book showcases the downside of being everything from a clown to a cassette tape to a zombie. Cute and dark all at once, this hilarious children's book for adults teaches valuable lessons about life.From the sock whose only friends have gone missing to the houseplant whose friends are being slowly killed by irresponsible plant owners (like you), All My Friends Are Dead presents hilariously entertaining stories about life and existential predicaments.The simple yet effective imagery, the personification of inanimate objects, and short, hilarious quips come together to create an amusing adventure through each character's unique grievance and wide-eyed dilemmas.Written by Avery Monsen, an actor, artist, and writer and Jory John, a writer, editor, and journalist. They are friends, and neither is dead. Yet.All My Friends Are Dead is both the saddest funny book and the funniest sad book you'll ever read.Children's book written for adults Displayed in an accessible cartoon form

    He just comes with boundless energy, spirit, and love, all waiting to be shaped. And one of the powerful forces in the shaping is the wish to grow up to be "just like Dad," who was himself a young boy once. With apologies to mothers and daughters, there's really nothing like the primal bond between a son and his father. A little book of wisdom for fathers on raising boys, "Father to Son" is a guide to the joys and responsibilities of fatherhood. Divided into sections covering the different stages of a boy's life, the book features one succinct lesson per page--some lighthearted, some serious, all supported by the book's strong moral backbone. Here is the importance of passing along skills-- "Show him how to eat an Oreo." "Show him how to put a baseball in a new glove and wrap a belt around it." Of setting a good example--"Be home for dinner." "Do push-ups together." Of staying involved-- "Race him. You'll never forget the day he beats you." "Be sure to meet his girlfriends." Being flexible--"If his favorite thing about organized sports is the uniform, let him wear it to school." Offering guideposts, material and intangible-- "Hang a punching bag in the garage." "Put a computer in his room. Never a TV." "Never tell him boys don't cry-ask him why he's crying." Nurturing responsibility-- "Make him understand that even a small lie makes him a liar." "Teach him the joy of finishing a job." And instilling wonder--"Teach him the joys of staring at the moon." "Encourage him to go barefoot."

    Greg and his wife, Amiira, share their hilarious and helpful roadmap for getting past the heartache and back into the game. From Greg Behrendt, the co-author of the smash two-million copy bestseller He's Just Not That Into You, comes It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken.There's no doubt about it--breakups suck. But in the first few hours or days or weeks that follow, there's one important truth you need to recognize: Some things can't and shouldn't be fixed, especially that loser who dumped you or forced you to dump him. Starting right here, right now, it's time to dry your tears, and open this book to Chapter One-and start turning your breakup into a breakover.The ultimate survival guide to getting over Mr. Wrong and reclaiming your inner Superfox. From how to put yourself through "he-tox," to how to throw yourself a kick-ass pity party, and reframing reality-- seeing the relationship for what it was. Complete with an essential workbook to help you put your emotions down on paper and heal.

    With witty sayings, inspiring philosophies, colorful graphics, and a dose of cheeky tough love, Instant Happy is the perfect inspirational self-help book for people who don’t have the time or patience for self-help books.     So next time you’re feeling stressed, stuck, blue, pissed off, or pissed on, simply flip open a page in Instant Happy to kick yourself out of that negative feedback loop and into a positive thought pattern. Karen’s no-BS tone, quick-acting humor, and contagious optimism will soon have you ready to take on the world.

    Bennett's bestselling The Book of Virtues is an inspiring anthology that helps children understand and develop moral character—and helps parents teach it to them.Responsibility. Courage. Compassion. Honesty. Friendship. Persistence. Faith. Everyone recognizes these traits as essentials of good character. In order for our children to develop such traits, we have to offer them examples of good and bad, right and wrong. And the best places to find them are in great works of literature and exemplary stories from history. William J. Bennett has collected hundreds of stories in The Book of Virtues. From the Bible to American history, from Greek mythology to English poetry, from fairy tales to modern fiction, these stories are a rich mine of moral literacy, a reliable moral reference point that will help anchor our children and ourselves in our culture, our history, and our traditions—the sources of the ideals by which we wish to live our lives. Complete with instructive introductions and notes, The Book of Virtues is a book the whole family can read and enjoy—and learn from—together.

    Sometimes it's just not quite as serene as we'd like.    Based on the viral video that had everyone from yogis to workaholics raving, F*ck That is the completely truthful and oddly tranquil guide to achieving your inner peace.

    The book chronicles the city's colorful citizens and hopping nightlife, and also explores some of the most hilarious events from its crazy history—like the time the whole town was on fire, its ongoing raccoon infestation, and the cult that took over in the 1970s. Packed with laugh-out-loud-funny photographs, illustrations, and commentary by the other inhabitants of Pawnee, it's a must-read that will make you enjoy every moment of your stay in the Greatest Town in America. Praise for Pawnee: "Carrying this book around is a good way of picking up girls with glasses." —Tom Haverford "I have read over four books, and this is by far the one that has me in it the most." —Andy Dwyer "Literally the greatest endeavor of human creativity in the history of mankind." —Chris Traeger

    If you have ever wondered, How am I supposed to survive this? This is How.

    With the help of the entire creative collective, Gordon-Levitt culled, edited and curated over 8,500 contributions into this finely tuned collection of original art from 67 contributors. Reminiscent of the 6-Word Memoir series, The Tiny Book of Tiny Stories: Volume 1 brings together art and voices from around the world to unite and tell stories that defy size.

    Read this book and understand--at last!--why men never listen, why women can't read maps, and why learning each other's secrets means you'll never have to say sorry again.