Secrets of Retail


J.W. Martin - 2010
    This wasn't always the case, but years in the soul-shattering world of retail have made Wade a bitter, cynical young man. Impeded by a lack of direction and nearly infinite levels apathy, Wade idles through his days avoiding waves of annoying customers, his obtrusive boss and any kind of work in general. When a management opportunity makes itself available Wade finds himself facing an unprecedented weekend of opportunity and distraction, a gauntlet of women he can't begin to understand, and a potential mental breakdown that could destroy his personal and professional life at once.

Hal Spacejock


Simon Haynes - 2001
    Unfortunately, this results in no customers, no cargo jobs and no hope of paying off the huge loan on his precious ship.When a debt collector kicks in his airlock and threatens his life, Hal grabs the nearest job and blasts off without reading the fine print. Can he deliver the freight and pay off his debt, or is this Hal’s last cargo run?

Confessions of a First Daughter


Cassidy Calloway - 2009
    That’s what happens when your mom’s the president of the United States—and Morgan is sooo over it. But now her mom needs a presidential stand-in! With the help of Morgan’s cute new secret service agent, a little makeup, and a lot of family resemblance, she’s soon seeing things from the other side of the desk.On the heels of a historic election, books about girls in politics are more popular than ever. Readers won’t be able to resist the smart, spunky, klutzy-yet-lovable heroine in this fresh and fun new teen novel!

Achewood volume 1: A Momentary Diversion on the Road to the Grave


Chris Onstad - 2002
    Also includes a collection of interviews, recipes and a short story by Ray. 187 pages.[http://www.achewood.com]

Pure Drivel


Steve Martin - 1998
    Pure Drivel is a collection of pieces, most of them written for the New Yorker, that demonstrate Martin's playful way with words and his unerring ability to create a feeling of serendipitous improvisation even on the printed page. Here's a passage from a piece that announces a shortage of periods in the Times Roman font: "Most vulnerable are writers who work in short, choppy sentences," said a spokesperson for Times Roman, who continued, "We are trying to remedy the situation and have suggested alternatives, like umlauts, since we have plenty of umlauts--and, in fact, have more umlauts than we could possibly use in a lifetime! Don't forget, umlauts can really spice up a page with their delicate symmetry--resting often midway in a word, letters spilling on either side--and not only indicate the pronunciation of a word but also contribute to a writer's greater glory because they're fancy, not to mention that they even look like periods, indeed, are indistinguishable from periods, and will lead casual readers to believe that the article actually contains periods!" Although some of these pieces flirted with topicality when they first appeared, Martin is most successful when he leaves the real world behind and gives his wit free rein. This collection preserves the best (so far) of his glorious improvisations. --Simon Leake

Infinite Jest


David Foster Wallace - 1996
    Set in an addicts' halfway house and a tennis academy, and featuring the most endearingly screwed-up family to come along in recent fiction, Infinite Jest explores essential questions about what entertainment is and why it has come to so dominate our lives; about how our desire for entertainment affects our need to connect with other people; and about what the pleasures we choose say about who we are. Equal parts philosophical quest and screwball comedy, Infinite Jest bends every rule of fiction without sacrificing for a moment its own entertainment value. It is an exuberant, uniquely American exploration of the passions that make us human—and one of those rare books that renew the idea of what a novel can do.

The Afternet


Peter Empringham - 2011
    When the system begins to misfire under the workload, the ill-equipped representatives of God and the Devil tasked with managing the process are given an ultimatum. Fix The Afternet or go back to your previous afterlives. They begin an odyssey through the hordes of souls awaiting judgement and the oblivious living in search of a solution. Rich in comic detail and populated with characters real and imagined from throughout time, their quest is never going to be straightforward…

Terry Jones's War on the War on Terror: Observations and Denunciations by a Founding Member of Monty Python


Terry Jones - 2004
    But independent of the Python team, Jones has been writing columns targeting the Anglo-American response to September 11. His wit and venom are particularly focused on the messianic vernacular of Bush and Blair and the semantics of the "war on terror." As Jones writes, "What really alarms me about President Bush's ‘War on Terrorism' is the grammar. How do you wage war on an abstract noun? ... How is ‘Terrorism' going to surrender? It's well known, in philological circles, that it's very hard for abstract nouns to surrender." Terry Jones's War on the War on Terror proves that in times of high political anxiety, humor and irony are most potent antidotes to the spin emanating from the White House and Downing Street.

The Young and the Restless


Gurmehar Kaur - 2019
    

. . . and Baby Makes Two: A Novel


Judy Sheehan - 2005
    But that’s before she sees the perfect child. There he sits in his stroller, angelic and beautiful, magnetic and serene– and he makes Jane question everything she has and everything she thought she wanted. Suddenly all she can see are babies and pregnant woman everywhere. Were there always so many of them? And while there was once a man in her life–her one true love, Sam, gone from this world too soon–there is no man now. Jane must make a choice: possibly become a bitter and childless old lady, letting her biological clock tick on ’till menopause, or tend the ache in her heart now, by becoming a single mother. As Jane struggles to make the most important decision of her life, friends and family offer no shortage of opinions. There’s Ray, her “hubstitute” and gay best friend who would be jealous of any kid who got Jane as a mom; Sheila, her sister, who went from zero to sixty when she eloped with Raoul–who had two young twin sons– and has mixed feelings about being a new mommy; her strict, Catholic father who can’ t imagine what level of hell Jane would banish herself to if she becomes a single mother; and the women of Families with Children from China who are preparing to adopt orphan daughters–without a man in sight. Just as she thinks she’s made up her mind, Jane discovers one small wrench in her plans: handsome, charming, funny Peter, who just happens to be (unhappily) married. . . . And Baby Makes Two is a heartbreakingly honest, wonderfully addictive, and funny novel about love and loss, family and friendship. Judy Sheehan, co-creator of the smash hit Tony n’ Tina’s Wedding, has perfectly captured the delights and dilemmas of the scariest job in the world: motherhood.From the Hardcover edition.

1000 Years of Annoying the French


Stephen Clarke - 2010
    Was the Battle of Hastings a French victory?Non! William the Conqueror was Norman and hated the French.Were the Brits really responsible for the death of Joan of Arc?Non! The French sentenced her to death for wearing trousers.Was the guillotine a French invention?Non! It was invented in Yorkshire.Ten centuries' worth of French historical 'facts' bite the dust as Stephen Clarke looks at what has really been going on since 1066 ...

The Truth About Archie and Pye


Jonathan Pinnock - 2018
    Burgess himself will die tonight in an equally odd manner, leaving Tom with a locked case and a lot of unanswered questions. Join Tom and a cast of disreputable and downright dangerous characters in this witty thriller set in a murky world of murder, mystery and complex equations, involving internet conspiracy theorists, hedge fund managers, the Belarusian mafia and a cat called µ.

Dork: Who's Laughing Now?, Volume 1


Evan Dorkin - 2001
    by Evan Dorkin The first-ever collection from the acclaimed humor anthology Dork, "Who's Laughing Now?" features 112 pages of densely-packed comic book craziness from Dork #1-5, all wrapped up in a sweet little package co-designed by Dorkin and his partner-in-crime, Sarah Dyer!

Queen Lucia


E.F. Benson - 1920
    Lucas, Lucia to her intimates, resides in the village of Riseholme, a pretty Elizabethan village in Worcestershire, where she vigorously guards her status as "Queen" despite occasional attempts from her subjects to overthrow her. Lucia’s dear friend Georgie Pillson both worships Lucia and occasionally works to subvert her power.

Confessions of a Call Centre Worker


Izabelle Winter - 2017
    Could you keep your cool while talking to all levels of stupid? Would you be able to wear a headset all day without wanting to throw it out of the window? All calls are recorded, analysed and timed to the second. Average handling time (AHT) is discussed as if it's the very meaning of life and managers are always coming up with new ways to shave milliseconds from each call. Is it acceptable to only have a total eight minutes a day for visits to the toilet or coffee machine? Imagine not being allowed to hang up on someone who is screaming abuse down the line at you. Welcome to the Call Centre! Izabelle worked in call centres for many years; from insurance to home shopping, from selling advertising to discussing loans. Finally in the early hours one morning, she decided enough was in fact far too much and left her final call centre job the same day, never to return. On her way out of the door for the final time she vowed she would write a book about life in a call centre. Here is that book. Read about call centres in general, memorable customers and staff. How do staff stay sane? What is Big Red? Are cranberries the true meaning of Christmas? Why would you have leather trousers round your ankles in a lift? How not to impress your boss. Izabelle shares these and many other true tales from her years of incarceration in UK call centres.