Even with his improvised bat (the Collins Classic edition of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde) he can chop, flick, half-volley like a champion. At sex he is not so adept, but with tuition from Sheeny Waxman, fellow member of the Akiva Social Club Table Tennis Team and stalwart of the Kardomah coffee bar, his game improves.

    A scary thought if you've ever come across any of the publicly posted absurdities that appear in this book: signs about as easy to understand as a Swahili auctioneer (to a non-Swahili speaker) or as well-planned as the dance steps in a mosh pit. With the help of signspotters around the globe, we've assembled a collection of some of the most unintentionally entertaining postings on the planet - we hope they confuse and amuse you!Author: Doug LanskyAbout Lonely Planet: Started in 1973, Lonely Planet has become the world's leading travel guide publisher with guidebooks to every destination on the planet, as well as an award-winning website, a suite of mobile and digital travel products, and a dedicated traveller community. Lonely Planet's mission is to enable curious travellers to experience the world and to truly get to the heart of the places where they travel.TripAdvisor Travellers' Choice Awards 2012 and 2013 winner in Favorite Travel Guide category'Lonely Planet guides are, quite simply, like no other.' - New York Times'Lonely Planet. It's on everyone's bookshelves; it's in every traveller's hands. It's on mobile phones. It's on the Internet. It's everywhere, and it's telling entire generations of people how to travel the world.' - Fairfax Media (Australia)  *#1 in the world market share - source: Nielsen Bookscan. Australia, UK and USA. March 2012-January 2013

    Loren Rhoads, creator and editor of the magazine, has compiled some of her favorite stories from all ten issues in this sometimes shocking, occasionally gruesome, always fascinating anthology. This quirky book is filled with tales from ordinary people -- who just happen to have eccentric, peculiar interests. Ranging from the outrageous (attending a Black Mass, fishing bodies out of San Francisco Bay, making fake snuff films) to the more "mundane" (visiting a torture museum, tracking real vampires through San Francisco), this curiously enjoyable collection of stories, complete with illustrations and informative asides, will entertain and haunt readers long after the final page is turned.

    Renowned artist Brian Froud and scholar Ari Berk have conducted a thorough investigation into the goblin realm. (For the uninformed, goblins, a subspecies of faery, are those maleficent creatures that cause all manner of havoc in the human realm.) The fruit of their labor, however, turned out to be a rotten apple: the book is infected with goblins. Now, thanks largely to Froud and Berk's continuing carelessness, the noxious, viscid, and largely nonsensical volume has been unleashed on an unsuspecting public. Among its pages are reproductions of the ancient, odoriferous Codex Goblinensis; a glossary of common goblins and their markings; and a gazetteer of goblin photographs taken with the arcane Goblin Camera. Those fearing an infestation can refer to the section detailing how to determine if you've "got goblins" and, if so, what you can do about it. (There is nothing you can do about it.)Combining the folkloric approach of Faeries with the utter wackiness of Lady Cottington, this is the team's most visually rich and outrageous opus yet.

    Granted extraordinary access, photographer Matt Hoyle has captured his subjects in portraits that are works of art in themselves—by turns zany and deadpan, laugh-out-loud and contemplative. Accompanying them are first-person reflections from each of the comedians on life and laughter that always cut straight to the heart of comedy: it's funny because it's true. Page after sidesplitting page in Comic Genius offers prose as engaging as each portrait is memorable. Here, in one handsome package, is the gift of laughter itself. Comic Genius is proud to support Save The Children.

    The novel draws on the author’s trademark staples of humor and wit, supplying readers with honest and at times, shockingly embarrassing tales. The novel provides a been-there-done-that perspective, offering the insights of one who has spent much of her life dealing with the issues she details.Whitney Cummings presents “I’m Fine…And Other Lies” with a strikingly witty and self-deprecating tone, reflecting on her past mistakes and presenting them for the reader to learn and benefit from. Praised for its sincerity and humorous quality, this book aims to entertain as much as it aims to comfort.A Brief Look Inside:EVERY GOOD BOOK CONTAINS A WORLD FAR DEEPER than the surface of its pages. The characters and their world come alive, and the characters and its world still live on. Conversation Starters is peppered with questions designed to bring us beneath the surface of the page and invite us into the world that lives on.These questions can be used to...Create Hours of Conversation:• Promote an atmosphere of discussion for groups• Foster a deeper understanding of the book• Assist in the study of the book, either individually or corporately• Explore unseen realms of the book as never seen beforeDisclaimer: This book you are about to enjoy is an independent resource meant to supplement the original book. If you have not yet read the original book, we encourage doing before purchasing this unofficial Conversation Starters.

    It is highly recommended that you read "Gum" first.~WHAT DOESN'T KILL YOU MAKES YOU HUNGRIER.Rika's father, Chef Diego Martín, has finally been able to return to Los Angeles after 15 years, brought over to work in the VIP Center restaurant of the Temple of Microtology by its founders. But, a month later, his sous chef is found dead, and Diego is missing. Rika is panicked at the thought of losing her one living parent permanently. All she knows is that she has to find her father, and she needs Nick Owen by her side.Not one night passed in the last six months that Nick hasn't lain awake thinking of Rika, even though he's given up hope she'll contact him. It's for the best, anyway. He sent her away last summer because he wasn't right for her. But when she calls and asks him to fly to L.A., nothing can stop him from racing to her side.However, he may not be prepared for what he discovers in her hometown, like Rika's formidable grandmother who treats him like a molester, the fact that L.A. men find him really, really attractive, or the weird Hollywood cult members who are spying on him and Rika. Oh, and maybe worst of all--LeeAnne. Nick never wants to see tears in Paprika's beautiful eyes again. But is there really a chance of finding her father alive and solving the murder before the Microtologists get Rika, too?Read Dead Men Don't Eat Quiche now and find out! -Next book: Dead Men Don't Flip. To get book release notifications, have the opportunity to become a beta reader or read and reviewer, and other fun stuff, join Nina's reader group  at the NinaCordoba website.

    You'll discover original profiles of inspiring people, real-life dramas, insightful essays, and news roundups that get you up-to-date fast on the issues you care about. All the features and departments from the print edition are here, including the jokes and funny true stories, along with our famous Word Power column-now with automatic scoring and audio pronunciations. Each issue is enhanced with exclusive cartoons, videos, slide shows, animations, and useful Web links-all in a well-designed, easy-to-navigate interface.

    I’ve got three words for her. Bah freaking humbug. I hate Christmas. For the last 10 years, I’ve hated everything. Except for my girls. Perfect twins with their mother’s eyes. They want me to move on, but I’m too damaged to listen. Until Niki. Her sass makes my temper rise along with my mammoth… ego. And when I see her delicious curves under that dress, I want to bend her over her party plans and show her what’s waiting in her stocking this year. But giving her what she wants means letting go of the past, And I’m not ready to forget. I’ve got billions to keep me warm, I don’t need Niki too. Except I can’t imagine life without her. Time to turn my bah humbugs into Christmas kisses. Even bums like me need someone to love. I just hope I’m not too late... "Mine on Christmas" is a full length standalone romance with no cheating and no cliffhangers, but with plenty of steam and a HEA. I've also included a preview of my billionaire romance "Accidentally His" for you! - Sarah J. Brooks (USA Today Bestselling Author)

    Peter Serafinowicz's Questions and Answers is a showcase for the razor wit and joyful nonsense of one of Britain's cleverest comedians, firing back genuinely funny instant replies to a stream of questions from the general public. This book collects together several hundred jokes from Peter's store of one-liners in a stylish, faux-Victorian, gifty hardback, just in time for Christmas. 'Peter Serafinowicz is hilarious' David Walliams' 'It's funny, but Peter Serafinowicz is the kind of funny person that funny people find funny' Simon Pegg 'Peter Serafinowicz is one of the funniest women in the world' Derren Brown

    Meet Bridget and Joan: Thelma and Louise on mobility scooters, reluctant residents of the Second Best Magnolia Retirement Home, and lifelong friends joined at the artificial hip.It’s been a wild year for the two rebellious wrinkletons: sherry and shoplifting, Sanatogen and sexting, and a mysterious toy boy who threatens their lifelong friendship and possibly even more…

    Normally, they'd just go down Memory Lane and get home again where everything's okay, but that's no longer an option. It isn't until they find an undamaged car and drive it down a different road where they can finally return to Riverdale--but their hometown feels different. And it's made even more bizarre when they come face-to-face with a few people they'd never expect: themselves. Only different, newer versions. Little do they know, Predators on Mars are watching them--planning their next attack!

    Both are pretty easy to put off as they're very expensive and tend to wreck your house.' Stand-up comedian Sam Avery (aka the Learner Parent) started his award-winning blog when his twin boys were born. A million nappies, Peppa Pig episodes and a lot less sleep later, he shares all the lows, highs and hilarious in-betweens of his experiences of first-time parenthood in this, his highly anticipated first book. Sam's honest, messy and laugh-out-loud account of trying for a baby (which transpired to be babIES) and figuring out what to do with them once they arrived - right up to the toddler years of talking, walking and tantrum-ing - will have you crying with laughter between your own nappy changes and nursery runs.

    When the system begins to misfire under the workload, the ill-equipped representatives of God and the Devil tasked with managing the process are given an ultimatum. Fix The Afternet or go back to your previous afterlives. They begin an odyssey through the hordes of souls awaiting judgement and the oblivious living in search of a solution. Rich in comic detail and populated with characters real and imagined from throughout time, their quest is never going to be straightforward…

    Beautiful but unassuming schoolgirl Kisaragi Honey has a secret--she's actually an android! Through her father's amazing technology, she can transform into the unstoppable Cutie Honey. It's a power that the nefarious criminal organization known as Panther Claw will stop at nothing to possess, even if it means destroying that which Honey loves the most. Experience the original saga of Japan's iconic super-heroine by Go Nagai, the author of Devilman!