The lump soon morphs into a shape familiar to everyone but her, triggering her curiosity and her father's greatest fears. He frantically tries to intervene, but having a large phantom phallus in a curious maiden's bed is never a good combination.

    Jim Pike, the disillusioned manager of a hotel that is hosting a Star Trek convention, finds himself leading a ragtag crew of survivors as a strange virus turns the convention-goers into zombies...

    Miranda's assignment? Driving Collin Sutherland, the world's most fastidious vampire from Washington to Kentucky, so he can deliver a mysterious black case to Council official Ophelia Lambert. Collin, a paranoid, aristocratic vampire with a debilitating fear of flying, refuses to let the case out of his sight. Miranda needs this time on the road to decide whether to permanently cut her ties with the fiance that had an "emotional affair" with a childhood pal, but Collin’s neatnik tendencies are driving her around the bend. The man acts as if leaving a fast food wrapped on the passenger seat is reason for a full-on CDC de-contamination scrub-down of the car. All she can do is promise to stop intentionally doing the things that make his stiff upper lip twitch with irritation. As more and more mishaps occur on the road trip from hell, Miranda and Collin work together to meet his delivery deadline. Hotel rooms are destroyed. Beloved cars are defiled. And somewhere along the line, client-driver hostilities become snarky flirtation. Will Collin and Miranda make it to the Hollow in one piece? And if they do, will Miranda leave old, safe relationships behind for something new and well, just plain weird?

    For each craves a change in her life: Devera desires a break from her humdrum marital routine; BiDi longs to reconnect with her distant fourteen-year-old daughter (the only girl on the high school hockey team), not to mention jump-start a sex drive stuck in neutral. So when Devera’s husband decides to fulfill his longtime dream of opening a nightclub in his basement, Your Oasis on Flame Lake arrives not a moment too soon. Nothing fancy, it’s just a BYOB joint where you can hang out, sing, dance, tell jokes, and be yourself. But then an unexpected crisis throws both families into chaos, forcing them all to take stock of their lives—and learn the power of forgiveness.

    With Buckley Township in his sights, Jonathan Healy is finally going home.The trouble is, home for him isn't home for Fran, who grew up in the desert, never lived under a fixed roof for more than a week at a time, and has no idea what to expect. To make matters worse, Jonathan's parents—Enid and Alexander Healy, late of the Covenant of St. George—are right on hand to make things more awkward for everyone.With her future on the line, it's time for Frances Brown to make one of the biggest decisions of her life. Does she stay in Buckley Township and try to make a life with the Healys? Or does she saddle up her horse and ride back into the sunset?

    Discovered practising his illegal reindeer dance and poo-dropping routine, our hero, along with fellow disaster-magnets Peterson and Maxwell, is despatched to Anglo-Saxon England to discover the truth about Alfred and the cakes.In his own words, our hero reveals Major Guthrie’s six-point guide to a successful assignment and the Security Section’s true opinion of the History Department. And of historians in general. And of one historian in particular.And, just to be clear, it is time travel, for God’s sake. Forget all that pretentious ‘investigating major historical events in contemporary time’ rubbish.This is history without the capital ‘H’. Because this is the way the Security Section rolls!

    But on occasion there are some things I just need to pull from my head and put on paper. I hope you enjoy this small glimpse into the things that keep me up at night.

    Women have written lewd messages on his body with lipstick, and two guys are using him as a human toilet. Against Kaylee’s wishes, Ivy decides to get involved. She soon learns four things: his name is Bobby; he’s not drunk, but been drugged; he drives a great car; and he’s separated from his wife. Ivy cleans him up, drives him home. When he starts feeling better, they flirt. If you guess she winds up in bed with him, you’re right. But that’s the last thing you’ll guess correctly in this million-mile-an-hour twisting tale! PRELIMINARY COMMENTS Casting Call moves at warp speed! Hilarious! Mind-blowing. Impossible to predict. Locke’s latest has more twists and turns than a Rubik’s Cube! I literally flew through this book. Can’t remember ever turning pages this fast!

    His selection was vast, and all models were stamped MADE IN HEAVEN.Under the watchful glare of a giant eyeball in the sky, Ralph walks door to door selling dildos. He doesn't know why he sells dildos, but he does know that with each house, and each strange customer, he moves closer to solving the mystery of the eternal dildo curse.A nightmare comedy about destiny, faith, and sex toys, The Traveling Dildo Salesman is another classic from Kevin L. Donihe, the Wonderland Award-winning author of House of Houses and Night of the Assholes.This edition also features Donihe's most lurid and infamous short stories: Milky Agitation, Two-Way Santa, The Helen Mower, Living Room Zombies, and Revenge of the Living Masturbation Rag.

    After three centuries trapped underground, thousand-year-old Yulric Bile, also known as The Cursed One, The Devil's Apprentice, He Who Worships the Slumbering Horrors, awakens only to find that no one believes he is a vampire. Apparently he's just too ugly. Modern vampires, he soon discovers, are pretty, weak, and, most disturbing of all, good. Determined to reestablish his bloodstained reign, Yulric sets out to correct this disgusting turn of events or, at the very least, murder the person responsible. With the help of part vampire-wannabe Amanda; Simon, the eight-year-old reincarnation of his greatest foe; and a cadre of ancient and ugly horrors, Yulric prepares to battle the glamorous undead. But who will win the right to determine, once and for all, what it truly means to be a vampire?

    When Rex encounters a band of stick-wielding separatists on the planet Chicolini, he thinks he’s found the buyers he’s been looking for. But Rex’s greed knows no bounds, and he’s determined to scam the separatists out of their cargo so that he can re-sell his black-market booty a few more times before leaving the planet. As the complications in Rex’s plan multiply, he becomes a target of not only the separatists, but also of paramilitary thugs, the local cops, and even the Ursa Minor mafia. Will Rex’s long-suffering robot companion talk some sense into him before he gets them both killed? Or will Rex, the self-described “greatest wheeler-dealer in the galaxy,” finally succeed in outsmarting himself?

    From small-talk to dating to death, In A Daze Work is an exciting, playful new spin on the minute and mundane decisions that make up your daily life. Each flip of the page puts you in control of the story: Will you stay in or go out? Do you wake up or sleep in? How will you navigate a bad date, or a party full of cookie-cutter couples (available in vanilla flavor only)? More importantly, where will your decisions take you? Bringing humor and sly self-reflection to the humdrum details of adulthood with hand-drawn illustrations and sharp wit, this relatable visual journey will help you find the extraordinary (or at least hilarious) moments in any day of the week.

    He’s absolutely devastated. He swears. Just ignore his cheeky grin, okay?When word reaches his fancy corner office that Gallum is replacing himself with his daughter, Amity, Carver is ecstatic. For real this time. Jones squashes men in the business industry flat. A woman? Pfst. He’ll be completely in charge in no time, doing whatever he wants. He’s so ready for this. But is he ready to fight the hardest fight of his life? No, not the one to maintain control of his company. The one to keep control of his heart.The battle may begin in the boardroom, but the war will definitely be won in the bedroom. May the best sex win.

    You’ll discover how far a prisoner will go to be with his dying wife, and what lurks between the walls of that Louisiana jailhouse to keep him there. You’ll find out how deep a man can cut himself to dig out the past. You’ll meet a college professor whose fear of flying might be the least of his worries. And you’ll learn how a sister’s love for sweet treats can reunite a broken family…whether they want it or not. Aliens and lot lizards…disembodied lips…the voice of God Himself… Thirteen stories and a brand new novella from horror author Wesley Southard. Within these pages, we all go a little mad…

    Relive the day she first joined the supernatural community and discover how her bond with the human Lisa Jenkins first began. Also meet regional Psychic, Morgan and the vampire that would get under Ava's skin from their first encounter in a 24 hour super market. Then, In Ava versus the Rogue Vampire, follow Ava and Lisa on their first real "assignment" on behalf of Morgan when a rogue vampire slips into Vampire Queen Belinda's territory and starts killing indiscriminately. Just don't expect Ava and Belinda to share a hug when it is done...