The F*ck It List is a hilarious middle-finger salute to all those absurd life goals that will ensure an anxiety-filled middle age will be followed by shame-filled golden years. It pokes a sorely needed pin into a bloated rite of passage that's ripe for deflation. Do you really need to firewalk or didn't Oprah and Tony Robbins take care of that for us? Swimming with sharks is a really dumb idea, so let's leave that with the gullible reality tv desperadoes, shall we? Kevin Pryslak has come up with a "to don't list" that will have you laughing out loud and leave you with lots more time to do the all the things YOU really want to do!

    All 97 counties of it! Surely it can't be as bad as everyone tells him. After twenty years living abroad, he thinks the time is right to search his homeland for the best of British using new eyes, those of a foreign tourist, and in the only way he knows how – by bicycle. Armed with a list of recommendations gathered from friends and strangers alike and the most spontaneous of routes, he pedals 5,000 miles through damp English country lanes, soggy Welsh moorland and windswept Scottish mountains. He gets wet quite often. Following on from the success and irreverent style of both No Place Like Home, Thank God and Hungry for Miles, Steven seeks out the quirky in the people he meets, the places he visits and the food he eats. Can his initial store of positivity survive the journey, or will it be ground down by the traffic, the weather and his British, vegetable-free diet of beer, pies and pork scratchings? In this, Book 1, The Journey South, Steven travels from Merseyside to Warwickshire, through the whole of Wales, the West Country, the south coast and to London. Armed with a bag of googly eyes, he meets a poetry-prescribing nurse, stumbles across Hilda Ogden's lawnmower, has his footwear stolen by foxes, discovers some very special Mexican fleas, crashes the TARDIS and visits dozens of British capitals, including its infidelity capital, its boob job capital and its dogging capital. He experiences "real" Britain – the good and the bad – its Morris dancers, pie 'n' mash and the pinnacle of British culture, a good old-fashioned street fight. The concluding part, The Journey North, covering the east of England, Scotland and the north-west of England will be available in Summer 2017.

    and their rather surprising explanations.

    Comedy and Error Simon Day, star of the Fast Show and Bellamy's People tells the shocking, sometimes sad and hilariously funny story of his life so far Full description

    Damn, now I sound stupid, too." -Bomani Jones, ESPN "It's great, and I have no idea what just happened, but Jerry Jones dick exploded and that's enough for me." -Spencer Hall, SB Nation "The only parody Twitter account worth following" -Deadspin.com "This is the least influential book of anything I've ever read. I hated it." -Adolf Hitler In what is being hailed by many, probably, as the best, funniest, most gut-shittingly poignant literary work since The New Testament, PFT Commenter takes you on a realistic-fiction journey through the backdoor politics of today's NFL. Set in the 2014 offseason, Roger Goodell and President Barack Obama become locked in a mano a mano battle over the future of the Dallas Cowboys, culminating in a literal fight to the death. Starring NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell, Barack Obama, Mike Ditka, Joe Biden, Michael Vick, Peter King, Ron Jaworski, Dan Snyder, Robert Griffin III, Danny Woodhead, J.J. Watt, Jerry Jones, Russell Wilson, Pete Carroll, and many more of your favorite NFL stars and media personalities; "Goodell vs. Obama: The Battle for the Future of the NFL" will take you on a journey that any NFL fan is sure to love, or at least not hate. WARNING: Told through the narrative eye and screaming mouth of an uneducated internet commenter, this book is filled with grammatical errors. It was written by a someone who was raised on scorching hot sports takes, light beer, and an undying love for Roger Goodell. He cares about TELLING, not about spelling. If that's going to be a problem,, there's the door.

    This hilarious book could save your career and get you the keys to the executive washroom! It is the ultimate guide to going to the toilet at work, and is filled with practical advice for dealing with all sorts of poop-related problems.

    With only one failed relationship to his name, Dougie is now middle-aged, single, and close to giving up his quest to find love.Then, after the strangest of incidents at work, the unthinkable happens – Dougie is propositioned by a succession of attractive women. Miraculously, a man who hasn’t shared so much as a kiss in twenty-odd years is suddenly catnip to members of the opposite sex. After a lifetime of ridicule and rejection, pain and heartbreak, Dougie can scarcely believe his sudden change of fortune.Armed with his newfound superpower, Dougie’s only remaining challenge is to decide which of his many admirers is Miss Right. Then, he can settle down, get married and live happily ever after.As the most sought-after bachelor in town, what could possibly go wrong with Dougie’s plan?Quite a lot, as it transpires.

    Along the way, readers join the author in discovering: • The scary side of fishing; • Why it’s wrong when board games become blood sports; • The unexpected connection between cooking classes and true romance; • How the author's cat convinced him to take up yoga (and why that was a terrible idea); • Golfing for the ball challenged; • The thrill of jumping out of an airplane without risking your life; • The eternal appeal of Elly May Clampett; and, • How to do nothing without feeling guilty about it.

    This book was brought to you by the one and only - THE CLOWN FACTORY.

    Well, technically more of a midriff crisis, if he’s honest. Still, the Dad-bod is ‘in’ these days, isn’t it?He needs a girlfriend. But even though he's constantly surrounded by women, he can't seem to escape from the friend-zone slammer.Keeping the kids alive and entertained, working all hours, and then spending half your income on shopping, aren’t easy things to deal with.Trying to find love and happiness is even harder. Those dreams of ‘happy ever after’ seem like an unreachable utopia. But that hasn’t stopped him trying.Will Danny ever find his special someone? Or will he live out his remaining decades in dismal celibacy? What if he’s been looking in all the wrong places? What if love is right around the corner and he doesn’t even realise?Dad lit at its cynical best - hilariously relatable.

    

    Like the bungling burglar who logged on to his own Facebook page at his victim's house - and forgot to turn the computer off when he left, or the stupid bank robber who made his escape in his own car - complete with personalised number plates, or the idiotic criminal who tried to hand himself into the police... in order to collect the reward. Award-winning writer Andrew Penman has scoured the country for this hilarious collection of those who are not just bad, but also dim very dim. 'Andrew Penman enjoys a laugh at the expense of Britain's most stupid burglars' - The Mirror 'Exploits so dim-witted it's surprising they ever managed to keep themselves breathing long enough to commit any crime' - Wales Online Illustrated with cartoons drawn by Neil Kerber.

    It might be the last decision you ever make. Grab the entire series in one complete boxed set today! All 8 books are included! Resurrection of the Damned: Three months ago there was a demon invasion. Due to that, the world has been dealing with changes in just who the enemy really is.While old rules are thrown aside. The mercenary named Katie (or KatieDora by some) is trying to take a much-needed vacation. Unfortunately, both friends and foes want her in the worst possible way. Katie's Killers are facing a new reality, one where they are needed more because the world's eyes have just been uncovered. Sometimes it just doesn't pay to get up in the morning. No Quarter: The rules have changed. Now the Damned can go on vacation, and even hook up. Without Pandora near him, can Calvin get a little action in Cabo? Unfortunately, the general has a different demand of Katie coming from a whole industry. Requested to be in New York, Katie is working a side job or two. Her mercenary skills are useful, and profitable, for other types of hard jobs. And this time, the Damned can help a child. There will be hell to pay when Katie and Pandora come calling, with no quarter for the demons. Dark is the Night: This time it's about money. Well, some of it is about money. How is a Damned going to pay for her condo and keep up with the Joneses? Still in New York, Katie is working on creating an additional base for herself and her team as Pandora contemplates how she can mess up Calvin's love life. What will happen when Katie meets the woman who means the most to her?And what is Calvin going to do, since the gang in Mexico is not giving up?Dark is the night when the heroes come out to play. Dim Glows the Horizon: It's all about a good time. Katie has the ability and desire to see Brock again, and show him and his guys agood time. Will that include any special time for the two of them? (Pandora hopes so). That stranger left a message about a sword and Armor... But is Pandora willing to help or does she even know what he was talking about?Someone is stalking Calvin's girlfriend. He has to ask a couple of humans he respects for a little help—even if they won't remember who he is. Even in the middle of a war, humans will always want some hope for the future. Plus: Waking the Leviathan Subversive Giants Juntto Redemption " *****Be warned...

    Easy reading and enjoyable.." - John P Sam's trousers were round his ankles. The microwaved chicken - long past its sell-by date - had made a hasty exit. He was down a ditch in the middle of nowhere, and there weren't any tissues. Suzy had dumped him. Things weren't going well. He was only one wipe away from his life changing forever when he found a blue IKEA bag packed with banknotes. Gary wants to kill him. So does Vlad. Ashton wants to paint him naked and then there's the Contessa. Suzy isn't certain they've broken up. One thing’s for sure: Sam's life has been turned upside down.