. .On April 15, 1865, Abraham Lincoln updated his status: "Taking the missus to the theater"God and Stephen Hawking trolled each other in a comment war over the creation of the universe?Alexander the Great "checked into" all the countries he conqueredIrreverent and clever, The History of the World According to Facebook goes back through time, from the beginning of the world to the present, to cover all the major events and eras of human history, such as the Renaissance, the Industrial Revolution, and the Information Age. Filled with hundreds of actual figures from across the centuries and thousands of invented statuses, comments, and actions lampooning Facebook users’ penchant for oversharing, abbreviation, self-importance, and lazy jargon, The History of the World According to Facebook defies all attempts at taking the multi-billion user social media platform SRSLY. It is the funniest parody of history and the dawn of man since, well, the dawn of man.

    Frank Sinatra's mother was a convicted felon. Bugs Bunny was born in Brooklyn. The average American home contains $90 in loose change. It is illegal to use the American flag in advertising.And there's no good reason to also discover...Which game show host previously worked as a garbageman. Which day of week is the most popular to rob a bank. Which millionaire loaned his kidnapped grandson ransom money at 4 percent interest. Which country once had a dog for a king.

    And, with the help of a Greek removals firm, we also find the origin of the word 'metaphor'.QuotationThe uses and misuses of quotations are revealed, and there is also a frank confession from a quotation compiler, which we cannot divulge here.ClichéFeaturing sick parrots and the cliché crisis that affected the writing of Flaubert, Joyce, and Eliot, and helped shape modern language and culture.©2008 Testbed Audio Ltd; (P)2009 BBC Audiobooks LtdLENGTH: 1 hr and 43 mins

    and covered in blood!Demonic possession! Haunted condominiums! Murderous babies! Man-eating moths! No plot was too ludicrous, no cover art too appalling, no evil too despicable for the Paperbacks From Hell.Where did they come from? Where did they go? Horror author Grady Hendrix risks his soul and sanity (not to mention yours) to relate the true, untold story of the Paperbacks From Hell.Shocking story summaries! Incredible cover art! And true tales of writers, artists, and publishers who violated every literary law but one: never be boring. All this awaits, if you dare experience the Paperbacks From Hell.

    also, that way, he can relive everything I've put him through.This is my book!It's a journey filled with laughter (mine), tears (Elliot's) and even romance (hello, Georgina!), and goes from a childhood in sunny Bridgend to ten million followers across the world.There's also exclusive pranks, spitball targets (of Elliot's face, obviously), comic strips, guides to creating your own videos and much more.Now, if you're sitting comfortably, follow me into my wonderful world and Elliot's journey... Sorry Bro!(To make the most of the interactive pages in this eBook, take screen grabs from your device, print them out, and enjoy!)

    She's got problems though when bits of her ex-husband turn up in different places and the slimy DI Savage seems to be bending the evidence to link her to the death. Add the fact that she's being pressured into taking a ‘job’ by hard-nosed Vera Devlin from the estate and having to work in a topless bar to make ends meet and you can see she's up against it. Desperate to extricate herself from the mess she breaks into her old marital home to find the diary of her dead husband, except that his mother has taken up residence and arrives back early from bingo… Set against a backdrop of Northern council estate life, this fast paced, humorous novel exemplifies the problems caused by poverty, piles and unruly children, think Jeremy Kyle meets the Thorn Birds and you won't be far wrong!

    Now, for the very first time, these musings have been collected in one hilarious collection. In The Chain of Curiosity, Sandi takes the reader on a side-splitting journey through life's peculiarities in a book packed with wit, wisdom and wonderment. From pondering the joys of World Pencil Day to examining the intricacies of applause etiquette, and from tip-toeing around the delicate art of school report vocabulary to researching the oddest way to meet a sticky end, the tickling tidbits and intriguing revelations contained within the book will delight Sandi's fans, both old and new.

    30,000 first printing."

    And if that’s too much to ask, remember the sage advice from the staff of a Taipei hotel: “If there is anything we can do to assist and help you, please do not contact us.”

    In this fascinating book, vintage accessories’ expert, Madeleine Marsh, discusses just what makes compacts so desirable and reveals their hidden secrets from cameras to cigarettes. Madeleine shows what to buy and where, what to spot when buying and how to make the most of your compacts, vintage cosmetics or beauty accessories.

    She started with great expectations by shopping for shoes in Paris, attempted to build her character by going solo, counted her friends on the fingers of both hands, remembered a dodgy handshake with Hugh Jackman, joined a laughing yoga group in Mumbai, drank too much rosé and ate too much salt.By the end of the year she was, much to her own surprise, in possession of a clean bill of health and the secret to happiness. No, not THE SECRET. That’s not even a secret anymore. Another one, which is also now no longer a secret because in the endearing, hilarious Screw You Dolores, she shares it with you.

    Please go away.This book is for the rest of us. These comics document the wasting of entire beautiful weekends on the internet, the unbearable agony of holding hands on the street with a gorgeous guy, dreaming all day of getting home and back into pajamas, and wondering when, exactly, this adulthood thing begins. In other words, the horrors and awkwardnesses of young modern life.

    . . . Steffy meets the burden by demonstrating that corporate behemoth BP (formerly British Petroleum) could have prevented the 11 deaths on April 20, 2010, aboard the Deepwater Horizon. . . . The deaths and the gigantic oil spill following the sinking of Deepwater Horizon will surely become a landmark of corporate ineptness and greed for the remainder of human history, thanks in part to Steffy's remarkable account." San Antonio Express-News "Steffy has produced a fascinating, gripping, revealing account. . . . The book details events aboard the Deepwater Horizon in April of 2010 to start, but it digs deeper into what is revealed as a culture of cost-cutting boiling over within BP. Steffy documents years of incidents and poor management decisions, detailing the rise of key characters like John Browne and Tony Hayward alongside riveting outlines of horrifying events in Texas City and at other BP locations. . . . The book reads like fiction at times, with the author's heavily-detailed accounts of explosions and conversations creating vivid, nearly fantastical images. The tragic history of BP is all-too-real, though, as the lost lives and environmental damage certainly attest to.. . . Steffy is a thorough, straightforward author. His concerns largely lie with the loss of life and the general culture of cost-cutting of BP, painting an apt and terrifying picture of rampant, steady, costly neglect." Seattle Post Intelligencer "Steffy provides valuable insight and crucial corporate context in explaining how so much oil ended up in the Gulf of Mexico." BusinessWeek "[Steffy's] investigations reveal a corporate culture of cost-cutting initiatives that put profits ahead of workers' lives and the environment, with repeated safety violations and an abysmal accident history. . . . Steffy details how, in the context of BP's record, the disaster was just part of a pattern of poor decision making in the relentless pursuit by BP to become the largest and most profitable oil company in the world." Booklist About the BookAs night settled on April 20, 2010, a series of explosions rocked Deepwater Horizon, the immense semisubmersible drilling platform leased by British Petroleum, located 40 miles off the Louisiana coast. The ensuing inferno claimed 11 lives, and it would rage uncontained for two days, until its wreckage sank to a final resting place nearly a mile beneath the waves. On the ocean floor, the unit's wellhead erupted. Over the next ten weeks, as repeated attempts to cap the geyser failed, an estimated 200 million gallons of oil--the equivalent of 20 Exxon Valdez spills--spewed into the Gulf of Mexico, eventually lapping up on beaches as far away as Florida.Drowning in Oil, by award-winning Houston Chronicle business reporter and columnist Loren Steffy--considered by many to be the writer with the best access to the story--is an unprecedented and gripping narrative of this catastrophe and how BP's winner-take-all business culture made it all but inevitable.Through never-before-published interviews with BP executives and employees, environmental experts, and oil industry insiders, Steffy takes us behind the scenes of 100 years of BP corporate history. Beginning with the conglomerate's early gambits in the Middle East to its recent ascent among energy titans, Steff unearths the roots of the Gulf oil spill in the unwritten bargain between oil producers and consumers, whose insatiable appetites drive the search for new supplies faster, farther, and deeper.Beyond this, the Deepwater Horizon disaster took place after a history of cost cutting in pursuit of profits, particularly under the guidance of its two most recent ex-CEOs, John Browne and Anthony Hayward.Exhaustively researched and documented, Drowning in Oil is the first in-depth examination of how a lack of corporate responsibility and government oversight led to the biggest offshore oil spill in U.S. history. It is an objective, no-punches-pulled account of the energy industry: its environmental impact and the intense competition among stakeholders in today's oil markets.This book puts all the pieces together, offering a definitive account of BP's pursuit of outsized profits as the industrial world awakens to the grim realities of Peak Oil."They fumbled around the darkened room and found an instruction manual. By flashlight, they read the starting procedures. They were doing everything right. After five or six futile tries, they gave up and headed back toward the bridge. Back on the bridge, alarms were shrieking and the captain knew they were running out of time. The subsea engineer had hit the emergency disconnect for the well, and although the control panel showed the rig should be free, it wasn't. The hydraulics were dead. Fire continued to shoot from the top of the derrick. The rig had no power, and without power, it had no pumps for the firefighting equipment, no way to shut off the flow of gas from the well, and no way to disconnect the rig from the flaming umbilical that had it tethered to the wellhead." --from Drowning in Oil

    Each volume of four 30-minute histories will dig into the petty name-calling and grumbling grudges that led to many of the world’s greatest advancements, all delivered with a cheeky sense of humor.Choose sides: Cope or Marsh, the jerks who discovered so many dinosaurs; Hamilton or Burr, whose rivalry fueled American politics; Queen Elizabeth or Mary Queen of Scots, who fought to rule England; Adidas or Puma, whose rivalry changed the world of sports and fashion.Kidnappings, rock fights, duels, and explosions, Rivals! shows world leaders at their absolute best and their worst, often at the same time.

    Now, Harry shares many of his hilarious insider tips.