Why Won’t You Apologize?: Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts


Harriet Lerner - 2017
    Harriet Lerner has been studying apologies—and why some people won’t give them—for more than two decades. Now she offers compelling stories and solid theory that bring home how much the simple apology matters and what is required for healing when the hurt we’ve inflicted (or received) is far from simple. Readers will learn how to craft a deeply meaningful “I’m sorry” and avoid apologies that only deepen the original injury.Why Won’t You Apologize? also addresses the compelling needs of the injured party—the one who has been hurt by someone who won’t apologize, tell the truth, or feel remorse. Lerner explains what drives both the non-apologizer and the over-apologizer, as well as why the people who do the worst things are the least able to own up. She helps the injured person resist pressure to forgive too easily and challenges the popular notion that forgiveness is the only path to peace of mind. With her trademark humor and wit, Lerner offers a joyful and sanity-saving guide to setting things right.

The Sociopath Next Door


Martha Stout - 2005
    He’s a sociopath. And your boss, teacher, and colleague? They may be sociopaths too.We are accustomed to think of sociopaths as violent criminals, but in The Sociopath Next Door, Harvard psychologist Martha Stout reveals that a shocking 4 percent of ordinary people—one in twenty-five—has an often undetected mental disorder, the chief symptom of which is that that person possesses no conscience. He or she has no ability whatsoever to feel shame, guilt, or remorse. One in twenty-five everyday Americans, therefore, is secretly a sociopath. They could be your colleague, your neighbor, even family. And they can do literally anything at all and feel absolutely no guilt. How do we recognize the remorseless? One of their chief characteristics is a kind of glow or charisma that makes sociopaths more charming or interesting than the other people around them. They’re more spontaneous, more intense, more complex, or even sexier than everyone else, making them tricky to identify and leaving us easily seduced. Fundamentally, sociopaths are different because they cannot love. Sociopaths learn early on to show sham emotion, but underneath they are indifferent to others’ suffering. They live to dominate and thrill to win. The fact is, we all almost certainly know at least one or more sociopaths already. Part of the urgency in reading The Sociopath Next Door is the moment when we suddenly recognize that someone we know—someone we worked for, or were involved with, or voted for—is a sociopath. But what do we do with that knowledge? To arm us against the sociopath, Dr. Stout teaches us to question authority, suspect flattery, and beware the pity play. Above all, she writes, when a sociopath is beckoning, do not join the game. It is the ruthless versus the rest of us, and The Sociopath Next Door will show you how to recognize and defeat the devil you know.

The Easy Peasy Way to Quit Porn


Hackauthor² - 2020
    It won’t place any judgement, embarrassment, or pressure to undergo painful measures.In fact, there’s absolutely no need to cut down or reduce your usage whilst reading; doing so is actually detrimental.Perhaps this goes against everything you’ve been told, but ask yourself if what you’ve been told has worked? If it had, you wouldn’t be reading this hackbook.Pornography addiction manifests in various ways with far-reaching societal effects. Many people use pornography because the internet allows instantaneous access to supernormal stimuli. Consider if the following questions apply to you.- Do you spend far more time viewing porn than you originally intended?- Are you unsuccessful in efforts to stop or limit your consumption of pornography?- Has time spent viewing pornography interfered with, or taken precedence over personal or professional commitments, hobbies, or relationships in your life?- Do you go out of your way to keep your pornography consumption secret (e.g. deleting browser history, lying about viewing porn)?- Has viewing pornography caused significant problems in intimate relationship(s)?- Do you experience a cycle of arousal and enjoyment before and during pornography consumption, followed by feelings of shame, guilt, and remorse after?- Do you spend significant amounts of time thinking about pornography, even when not watching it?- Has viewing pornography caused any other negative consequences in your personal or professional life (e.g. missed work, poor performance, neglected relationships, financial problems)?If you’re a porn user that depends on it for masturbation or sex, all you need to do is read on. If you’re here for a loved one, all you need to do is persuade them to read this book. If unable to persuade them, read the book yourself. Understanding the method assists getting the message across and preventing your children from starting. Don’t be fooled by the fact that they don’t have access to it now – all do before getting hooked.

Rob Neyer's Big Book of Baseball Legends: The Truth, the Lies, and Everything Else


Rob Neyer - 2008
    In Rob Neyer's Big Book of Baseball Legends, Neyer breathes new life into both classic and obscure stories throughout twentieth-century baseball—stories that, while engaging on their own, also tell us fascinating things about their main characters and about the sport's incredibly rich history. With his signature style, Rob gets to the heart of every anecdote, working through the particulars with careful research drawn from a variety of primary sources. For each story, he asks: Did this really happen? Did it happen, sort of? Or was the story simply the wild invention of someone's imagination? Among the scores of legends Neyer questions and investigates... -Did an errant Bob Feller pitch really destroy the career of a National League All-Star? -Did Greg Maddux mean to give up a long blast to Jeff Bagwell? -Was Fred Lynn the clutch player he thinks he was? -Did Tommy Lasorda have a direct line to God? -Did Negro Leaguer Gene Benson really knock Indians second baseman Johnny Berardino out of baseball and into General Hospital? -Did Billy Martin really outplay Jackie Robinson every time they met? -Oh, and what about Babe Ruth's “Called Shot”? Rob checks each story, separates the truths from the myths, and places their fascinating characters into the larger historical context. Filled with insider lore and Neyer's sharp wit and insights, this is an exciting addition to a superb series and an essential read for true fans of our national pastime.

Will I Ever Be Good Enough? Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers


Karyl McBride - 2008
    The first book for the millions of daughters suffering from the emotional abuse of selfish, self-involved mothers, Will I Ever Be Good Enough? provides the expert advice readers need to overcome debilitating histories and reclaim their lives.

The Skilled Helper: A Problem-Management and Opportunity-Development Approach to Helping


Gerard Egan - 1975
    Egan emphasizes the collaborative nature of the therapist-client relationship and uses a practical, three-stage model that drives client problem-managing and opportunity-developing action. Egan masterfully leads readers step-by-step through the counseling process, while giving them a feeling for the complexity inherent in any helping relationship. As readers begin to understand the various steps of the helping model, they are able to improve their competence and confidence measurably. In this new seventh edition, Egan has built upon the strengths of the last edition while focusing on a new "positive psychology," solution-focused theme.

Fundamentals of Clinical Supervision


Janine M. Bernard - 1992
    Due to the overlap of the mental health disciplines and of supervision modalities, the authors have integrated psychology, counseling, marriage and family therapy, and social work contributions into the central themes that dominate the study and practice of clinical supervision. The authors offer a comprehensive look at the supervision relationship that must develop if supervision is to be successful. In doing so, the book serves as a valuable resource for the practitioner as well as the scholar. The authors also address the professional issues of ethical and legal concerns, evaluation, and establishing a productive context for supervision; the practice issues of supervisor training and development; and the research issues affecting both the study and practice of supervision. Appendices offer additional resources. These include materials to assist the readers in training supervisors. They also include selected instruments that might be used by supervision researchers and practitioners. Clinical supervisors.

Basic Counseling Techniques: A Beginning Therapist's Toolkit


Wayne Perry
    You'll learn how to:apply nine different sets of clinical tools;select the appropriate tool for the appropriate clinical situation; andimprove how you carry out the clinical thinking process.Each chapter concludes with a "Living into the Lesson" section that allows you to participate in experiential exercises to master what you've learned.While designed for counselors and therapists in the beginning of their careers, even veterans in the field will find value in this updated edition.

Released from Shame: Moving Beyond the Pain of the Past


Sandra D. Wilson - 2002
    Often shame comes from being raised in a family that has an impaired ability to provide its members with healthy nurturing. As a result, you carry emotional scars into adult life, longing for happiness but feeling unworthy of it. Sandra Wilson knows much about shame-based families--both from personal experience and from her years as a family therapist. Drawing from this background, she teaches you biblical principles that have helped her and many others work through painful issues and learn new, healthier ways to live. In this revised edition, Wilson also includes help for parents who want to break the intergenerational cycle of shame and give their children a grace-based foundation for life.

The Examined Life: How We Lose and Find Ourselves


Stephen Grosz - 2012
    These beautifully rendered tales illuminate the fundamental pathways of life from birth to death.A woman finds herself daydreaming as she returns home from a business trip; a young man loses his wallet. We learn, too, from more extreme examples: the patient who points an unloaded gun at a police officer, the compulsive liar who convinces his wife he's dying of cancer. The stories invite compassionate understanding, suggesting answers to the questions that compel and disturb us most about love and loss, parents and children, work and change. The resulting journey will spark new ideas about who we are and why we do what we do.

The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma


Bessel van der Kolk - 2014
    Veterans and their families deal with the painful aftermath of combat; one in five Americans has been molested; one in four grew up with alcoholics; one in three couples have engaged in physical violence. Such experiences inevitably leave traces on minds, emotions, and even on biology. Sadly, trauma sufferers frequently pass on their stress to their partners and children. Renowned trauma expert Bessel van der Kolk has spent over three decades working with survivors. In The Body Keeps the Score, he transforms our understanding of traumatic stress, revealing how it literally rearranges the brain’s wiring—specifically areas dedicated to pleasure, engagement, control, and trust. He shows how these areas can be reactivated through innovative treatments including neurofeedback, mindfulness techniques, play, yoga, and other therapies. Based on Dr. van der Kolk’s own research and that of other leading specialists, The Body Keeps the Score offers proven alternatives to drugs and talk therapy—and a way to reclaim lives.

Teach Yourself Speed Reading


Tina Konstant - 2001
    Following a unique five-step system, this practical guide teaches readers the basics of speed-reading in less than an hour. It includes tools and information on a variety of reading and memory techniques that allow readers to start using and practicing the techniques as they read--and therefore finish this book in a fraction of the time they would have taken previously. The book shows how to read effectively under pressure and concentrate in today's noisy, distracting environments.

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert


John M. Gottman - 1999
    Here is the culmination of his life's work: the seven principles that guide couples on the path toward a harmonious and long-lasting relationship. Packed with practical questionnaires and exercises, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is the definitive guide for anyone who wants their relationship to attain its highest potential.

Why Therapy Works: Using Our Minds to Change Our Brains


Louis Cozolino - 2015
    But why does it work? And why does it matter that we understand how it works?In Why Therapy Works, Louis Cozolino explains the mechanisms of psychotherapeutic change from the bottom up, beginning with the brain, and how brains have evolved—especially how brains evolved to learn, unlearn, and relearn, which is at the basis of lasting psychological change.Readers will learn why therapists have to look beyond just words, diagnoses, and presenting problems to the inner histories of their clients in order to discover paths to positive change. The book also shows how our brains have evolved into social organs and how our interpersonal lives are a source of both pain and power. Readers will explore with Cozolino how our brains are programmed to connect in intimate relationships and come to understand the debilitating effects of anxiety, stress, and trauma.Finally, the book will lead to an understanding of the power of story and narratives for fostering self-regulation, neural integration, and positive change.Always, the focus of the book is in understanding underlying therapeutic change, moving beyond the particular of specific forms of therapy to the commonalities of human evolution, biology, and experience.This book is for anyone who has experienced the benefits of therapy and wondered how it worked. It is for anyone thinking about whether therapy is right for them, and it is for anyone who has looked within themselves and marveled at people's ability to experience profound transformation.

Full Catastrophe Living: Using the Wisdom of Your Body and Mind to Face Stress, Pain, and Illness


Jon Kabat-Zinn - 1990
    (The somewhat confusing title is from a line in Zorba the Greek in which the title character refers to the ups and downs of family life as "the full catastrophe.") But this book is also a terrific introduction for anyone who has considered meditating but was afraid it would be too difficult or would include religious practices they found foreign. Kabat-Zinn focuses on "mindfulness," a concept that involves living in the moment, paying attention, and simply "being" rather than "doing." While you can practice anything "mindfully," from taking a walk to cleaning your house, Kabat-Zinn presents several meditation techniques that focus the attention most clearly, whether it's on a simple phrase, your breathing, or various parts of your body. The book goes into detail about how hospital patients have either improved their health or simply come to feel better despite their illness by using these techniques, but these meditations can help anyone deal with stress and gain a calmer outlook on life. "When we use the word healing to describe the experiences of people in the stress clinic, what we mean above all is that they are undergoing a profound transformation of view," Kabat-Zinn writes. "Out of this shift in perspective comes an ability to act with greater balance and inner security in the world." --Ben Kallenreissue 2005