Unconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishments to Love and Reason


Alfie Kohn - 2005
    In this truly groundbreaking book, nationally respected educator Alfie Kohn begins instead by asking "What do kids need — and how can we meet those needs?" What follows from that question are ideas for working with children rather than doing things to them. One basic need all children have, Kohn argues, is to be loved unconditionally, to know that they will be accepted even if they screw up or fall short. Yet conventional approaches to parenting such as punishments (including "time-outs"), rewards (including positive reinforcement), and other forms of control teach children that they are loved only when they please us or impress us. Kohn cites a body of powerful, and largely unknown, research detailing the damage caused by leading children to believe they must earn our approval. That's precisely the message children derive from common discipline techniques, even though it's not the message most parents intend to send. More than just another book about discipline, though, Unconditional Parenting addresses the ways parents think about, feel about, and act with their children. It invites them to question their most basic assumptions about raising kids while offering a wealth of practical strategies for shifting from "doing to" to "working with" parenting — including how to replace praise with the unconditional support that children need to grow into healthy, caring, responsible people. This is an eye-opening, paradigm-shattering book that will reconnect readers to their own best instincts and inspire them to become better parents.

Unglued: Making Wise Choices in the Midst of Raw Emotions


Lysa TerKeurst - 2012
    But the good news is, God gave us emotions to experience life, not destroy it. With gut-honest personal examples and biblical teaching, Lysa shows us how to use our emotions for good.Unglued will equip you to:Know with confidence how to resolve conflict in your important relationships.Find peace in your most difficult relationships as you learn to be honest but kind when offended.Identify what type of reactor you are and how to significantly improve your communication.Respond with no regrets by managing your tendencies to stuff, explode, or react somewhere in between.Gain a deep sense of calm by responding to situations out of your control without acting out of control.

Recalling Our Own Stories: Spiritual Renewal for Religious Caregivers


Edward P. Wimberly - 1997
     Clergy and other professional religious caregivers routinely find that parishioners and clients expect from them a superhuman level of empathy and love?a level that embodies God's love. Many of these caregivers expect no less of themselves. This myth of perfection often leads to burnout in caregivers, who then run the risk of damaging themselves and others. Minister and counselor Edward P. Wimberly crafts a powerful and innovative path to renewal based on his popular workshops and retreats. He guides religious professionals?trained to attend to the stories of others?to reexamine the personal and professional stories that shape their own lives as individuals, family members, and ministers. Recalling Our Own Stories, a spiritual renewal retreat in book form, guides religious professionals in reconnecting with their original calling. Most important, it offers readers ways to reauthor their personal mythologies, giving them renewed vigor in ministry and caregiving. Wimberly shares the varied life stories of caregivers of diverse cultural backgrounds while walking readers through the process of revisiting their lives, recognizing unrealistic expectations, and transforming wounded beliefs into sources of compassion, strength, and renewal.

The Body Remembers: The Psychophysiology of Trauma and Trauma Treatment


Babette Rothschild - 2000
    That memory is often expressed in the symptomatology of posttraumatic stress disorder-nightmares, flashbacks, startle responses, and dissociative behaviors. In essence, the body of the traumatized individual refuses to be ignored.While reducing the chasm between scientific theory and clinical practice and bridging the gap between talk therapy and body therapy, Rothschild presents principles and non-touch techniques for giving the body its due. With an eye to its relevance for clinicians, she consolidates current knowledge about the psychobiology of the stress response both in normally challenging situations and during extreme and prolonged trauma. This gives clinicians from all disciplines a foundation for speculating about the origins of their clients' symptoms and incorporating regard for the body into their practice. The somatic techniques are chosen with an eye to making trauma therapy safer while increasing mind-body integration.Packed with engaging case studies, The Body Remembers integrates body and mind in the treatment of posttraumatic stress disorder. It will appeal to clinicians, researchers, students, and general readers.

In Therapy: The Unfolding Story


Susie Orbach - 2017
    We go to address past traumas, to break patterns of behaviour, to confront eating disorders or addiction, to talk about relationships, or simply because we want to find out more about ourselves.Susie Orbach has been a psychotherapist for over forty years. Also a million-copy bestselling author, The New York Times called her the 'most famous psychotherapist to have set up couch in Britain since Sigmund Freud'. Here, she explores what goes on in the process of therapy through a series of dramatized case studies.Insightful and honest about a process often necessarily shrouded in secrecy, In Therapy: The Unfolding Story is an essential read for those curious about, or considering entering, therapy. This complete edition takes us deeper into the world of therapy, with 13 further sessions and a new introduction.

DBT Skills Manual for Adolescents


Jill H. Rathus - 2014
    Clinicians are guided step by step to teach teens and parents five sets of skills: Mindfulness, Distress Tolerance, Walking the Middle Path (a family-based module developed by the authors specifically for teens), Emotion Regulation, and Interpersonal Effectiveness. Designed for optimal clinical utility, the book features session outlines, teaching notes, discussion points, examples, homework assignments, and 85 reproducible handouts, in a large-size format for easy photocopying. Purchasers also get access to a Web page where they can download and print the reproducible materials. See also the authors'  Dialectical Behavior Therapy with Suicidal Adolescents (with Marsha M. Linehan), which delves into skills training and other DBT components for those at highest risk.

The Gardener and the Carpenter: What the New Science of Child Development Tells Us About the Relationship Between Parents and Children


Alison Gopnik - 2016
    Yet the thing we call "parenting" is a surprisingly new invention. In the past thirty years, the concept of parenting and the multibillion dollar industry surrounding it have transformed child care into obsessive, controlling, and goal-oriented labor intended to create a particular kind of child and therefore a particular kind of adult. In The Gardener and the Carpenter, the pioneering developmental psychologist and philosopher Alison Gopnik argues that the familiar twenty-first-century picture of parents and children is profoundly wrong--it's not just based on bad science, it's bad for kids and parents, too.Drawing on the study of human evolution and her own cutting-edge scientific research into how children learn, Gopnik shows that although caring for children is profoundly important, it is not a matter of shaping them to turn out a particular way. Children are designed to be messy and unpredictable, playful and imaginative, and to be very different both from their parents and from each other. The variability and flexibility of childhood lets them innovate, create, and survive in an unpredictable world. “Parenting" won't make children learn—but caring parents let children learn by creating a secure, loving environment.

When Our Grown Kids Disappoint Us: Letting Go of Their Problems, Loving Them Anyway, and Getting on with Our Lives


Jane Adams - 2003
    She listens to a generation that “did everything right” and expected its children to grow into happy, healthy, successful adults. But they haven’t, at least, not yet—and meanwhile, we’re letting their problems threaten our health, marriages, security, freedom, careers or retirement, and other family relationships. With warmth, empathy, and perspective, Dr. Adams offers a positive, life-affirming message to parents who are still trying to “fix” their adult children—Stop! She shows us how to separate from their problems without separating from them, and how to be a positive force in their lives while getting on with our own. As we navigate this critical passage in our second adulthood and their first, the bestselling author of I’m Still Your Mother reminds us that the pleasures and possibilities of postparenthood should not depend on how our kids turn out, but on how we do!

Detached: Surviving Reactive Attachment Disorder


Jessie Hogsett - 2011
    He felt unloved, uncared for, unsafe, sad, lonely and extremely angry. As he grew up, he, like most Reactive Attachment Disordered kids, acted out, exhibiting severely antisocial, even violent, behavior. You'll travel back in time to view a young child's life through his own eyes. You'll see an innocent boy become a severely emotionally disturbed teen. Then, against all odds, you'll read about miracles few ever thought possible.

Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters: 10 Secrets Every Father Should Know


Meg Meeker - 2006
    That’s right—and teen health expert Dr. Meg Meeker has the data and clinical experience to prove it. After more than twenty years of counseling girls, she knows that fathers, more than anyone else, set the course for their daughters’ lives. Now Dr. Meeker, author of the critically acclaimed Epidemic: How Teen Sex Is Killing Our Kids, shows you how to strengthen—or rebuild—your bond with your daughter, and how to use it to shape her life, and yours, for the better. Directly challenging the feminist attack on traditional masculinity, Dr. Meeker demonstrates that the most important factor for girls growing up into confident, well-adjusted women is a strong father with conservative values. To have one, she shows, is the best protection against eating disorders, failure in school, STDs, unwed pregnancy, and drug or alcohol abuse—and the best predictor of academic achievement, successful marriage, and a satisfying emotional life. Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters reveals: • The essential characteristics and virtues of strong fathers—and how to develop them • How daughters take cues from their fathers on everything from drug use, drinking, smoking, and having sex, to self-esteem, moodiness, and seeking attention from boys • Why girls want you to place restrictions on them (even though they’ll complain when you do) • How to become a hero to your daughter—and why she needs that more than anything • The one mistake fathers make that is the primary cause of girls "hooking up" • Why girls depend on the guidance of fathers through, and even beyond, their college years • Recipe for disaster: the notion that girls "need to make their own decisions andmistakes" • Why girls need God—and how your faith, or lack thereof, will influence her • How to communicate with your daughter—and how not to • True stories of "prodigal daughters"—and how their fathers helped bring them back Dads, you are far more powerful than you think you are. Your daughters need the support that only fathers can provide—and if you are willing to follow Dr. Meeker’s advice on how to guide your daughter, to stand between her and a toxic culture, your rewards will be unmatched

The Good Son: Shaping the Moral Development of Our Boys and Young Men


Michael Gurian - 1999
    Within its pages, Michael Gurian widely credited as the founder of today's boys movement takes readers through a complete parenting program, showing how to instill virtues in boys at each stage of life.For parents and teachers who fear that our child-rearing systems have lost much of their ethical underpinnings and that our boys are becoming emotionally closed-off, The Good Son serves as a welcome guidepost. It is one of today's premier books on parenting and male development.

Verbal Abuse: Survivors Speak Out on Relationship and Recovery


Patricia Evans - 2003
    Verbal Abuse: Survivors Speak Out outlines solutions to abusive relationships, tells victims where to find shelters and support groups, and analyzes why many therapists misdiagnose problems in violent relationships.

Positive Discipline for Preschoolers: For Their Early Years - Raising Children Who Are Responsible, Respectful, and Resourceful


Jane Nelsen - 1994
    No matter how much you love your child, there will be moments filled with frustration, anger, and even desperation. There will also be questions: Why does my four-year-old deliberately lie to me? Why won’t my three-year-old listen to me? Should I ever spank my preschooler when she is disobedient? Over the years, millions of parents just like you have come to trust the Positive Discipline series and its commonsense approach to child-rearing. Now completely updated to report the latest research in child development and learning, Positive Discipline for Preschoolers will teach you how to use methods to raise a child who is responsible, respectful, and resourceful. You’ll find practical solutions for how to:- Avoid the power struggles that often come with mastering sleeping, eating, and potty training - See misbehavior as an opportunity to teach nonpunitive discipline—not punishment - Instill valuable social skills and positive behavior inside and outside the home by using methods that teach important life skills - Employ family and class meetings to tackle behavorial challenges - And much, much more!This revised and updated third edition includes information from the latest research on neurobiology, diet and exercise, gender differences and behavior, the importance of early relationships and parenting, and new approaches to parenting in the age of mass media. In addition, this book offers new information on reducing anxiety and helping children feel safe in troubled times.

The Pocket Guide to the Dsm-5(r) Diagnostic Exam


Abraham M. Nussbaum - 2013
    Beginning with an introduction to the diagnostic interview, the Pocket Guide addresses the goals of the interview, provides an efficient structure for learning how to conduct one, reviews the screening questions, and then tackles the ways in which DSM-5T, with its updated approaches to diagnosis and classification, impacts the interview going forward. Significant revisions from DSM-IV-TRr to DSM-5T are reviewed. The final chapter, the core of the guide, walks the reader through a complete diagnostic exam that includes the follow-up questions for each of the DSM-5T disorder classes. The book is useful for beginners learning the format and flow of the diagnostic interview and for seasoned clinicians conducting an interview consistent with the significant revisions reflected in DSM-5T. Not intended to replace DSM-5T itself or psychiatric interview texts, The Pocket Guide to the DSM-5T Diagnostic Exam is a pragmatic and concise resource for diagnosing a person in mental distress while establishing a therapeutic relationship.

Boys Adrift: The Five Factors Driving the Growing Epidemic of Unmotivated Boys and Underachieving Young Men


Leonard Sax - 2005
    From kindergarten to college, American boys are, on average, less resilient and less ambitious than they were a mere twenty years ago. The gender gap in college attendance and graduation rates has widened dramatically. While Emily is working hard at school and getting A’s, her brother Justin is goofing off. He’s more concerned about getting to the next level in his video game than about finishing his homework.Now, Dr. Leonard Sax delves into the scientific literature and draws on more than twenty years of clinical experience to explain why boys and young men are failing in school and disengaged at home. He shows how social, cultural, and biological factors have created an environment that is literally toxic to boys. He also presents practical solutions, sharing strategies which educators have found effective in re-engaging these boys at school, as well as handy tips for parents about everything from homework, to video games, to medication.