The idea of crap lies in the real-life messes, hiccups, disasters and bad meals that many of us dish up and deal with every day. This mum is tired of the photos of perfectly packed school lunches, posts about gourmet family dinners eaten together over the table, and tales of neat, tidy and obedient children with smoothly brushed hair. It's time to reset the bar. Make expectations realistic. Strive to be kind, loving, smart and funny. Perfection is not required.

    It was the start, for better or for worse, of a long relationship with this unassuming and much maligned little country. He decided to put worldwide opinion to the test: is Belgium really as boring as people say it is? Immersing himself in Belgian culture – and sampling the local beer and ‘cat poo’ coffee along the way – he discovers a country of contradictions; of Michelin stars and processed food, where Trappist monks make the best beer in the world and grown men partake in vertical archery and watch roosters sing (not necessarily at the same time). This colourful and eccentric jaunt is proof that Belgium isn’t just a load of waffle.

    Blind and mainly confined to a wheelchair, Nicole is wholehearted and positive, whether she is studying, fund-raising or hanging out with her friends. Nicole's diary of the last four years is the triumphant story of a refusal to give up hope.

    Small but beautifully formed pieces of Shaun Micallef.

    Fiona has also had successful shows at the Edinburgh and Adelaide fringe festivals, the Just for Laughs Festival in Montreal and the Melbourne International Comedy Festival.This book contains her stories - funny and sometimes sad stories about her upbringing as part of a large Irish-Catholic family on a wheat farm in South Australia, her chaotic and disorganised family life ever since, living in Alice Springs and making it as a stand-up comedian. She also talks of a darker side of the life of many performers - alcohol.This book is for anyone who likes to laugh (and cry), who wants to read about a woman living her life on her terms.

    . . a fascinating, behind-the-scenes look at how the new Browns were created and what's kept them from making the progress everyone expected." -- Houston Chronicle"Your team never had a chance."Terry Pluto, one of Cleveland's top sportswriters, takes a hard look at the unhappy beginnings of the new Cleveland Browns franchise. This book chronicles the backroom deals, big-money power plays, poor decisions, and plain bad luck that have dogged the venerable team since Art Modell skipped town in 1995.When the new Cleveland Browns took the field in 1999, it was supposed to be the dawn of a grand new era of football in Cleveland. Instead, it was a rude wakeup call.Legions of loyal fans--once heartsick, abandoned, and disgusted at the loss of their team in 1995--were ready to forgive the past and embrace the future . . . a new owner, a new team, a new stadium. They just wanted their Browns back. But it soon became clear: Browns fans got a bum deal. The NFL had traded one of the most storied teams in football history for a franchise mired in mediocrity.These fans, after owner Art Modell skipped town with their beloved Browns, became the only fans ever to take on the NFL, demand their team back--and win. Yet while they were celebrating the supposed victory that kept "our name, our colors, our team" in Cleveland, fans should have been looking over their shoulders and keeping a close watch on the NFL. There would be few reasons to celebrate in the years to come.How much longer would they have to wait for a return to glory? Pluto sifts through the clues and looks for answers. This is a book the NFL does not want you to read.

    While outrageously false, these hilarious “facts” unearth deep truths about Canadians and their culture. For the over 200,000 people already following on Twitter, @stats_canada is a daily source of the funniest Canadian parody. Now, in their first book, Stats Canada satirizes everything from history, culture, and language to sports, entertainment, politics, weather, and much more. With all-new features, graphs, maps, and other illustrations, Stats Canada has all the laughter you’ve come to expect, with only 10% recycled content! 35% of advice given in any Home Hardware does not come from an actual employee 67% of Canadians own summer snow pants 32% of Canadians can’t spell “tuque” but own at least four 56% of Manitobans are convinced they’ve travelled to the future when visiting other provinces 79% of Canadian teens don’t want to wear their winter coat, it’s not even that cold out 100% of Canadian hockey players give it 110% every game 65% of Canadian Instagram accounts include an artsy photo of a Tim Hortons cup Disclaimer: The official Statistics Canada has taken no issue with the content of this book. They were too polite to object.

    I sat down one day and said to myself, “Larry, you’ve done it all. You’ve got three gold records, a successful DVD, a hit TV show, a picture of Shania Twain givin’ ya the finger, and most important, the high score on Frogger. What more could you possibly do?” Then I started thinking about writing a book. I wanted mostly to write Git-R-Done for all those good Americans who just wanna laugh like I do. Come on inside and hear me make fun of Janet Reno, Rosie O’Donnell, and my fat sister, who caused a twelve-tray pileup in front of the caramel nut rolls at the country buffet. I’m gonna tell you why Dick Trickle is my hero, why we need to get back to good ol’ common sense, and why I prefer a picture of the Last Supper with NASCAR drivers as the disciples over just about anything.Lord, I apologize!The book will go down in history as one of America’s most important events since the breakup of Aldo Nova. Even my mom liked the book—here’s what she said: “There’s really not much I can say here except for I apologize to everyone ahead of time for the crap you are about to read.” Git-R-Done is just plain funny, I don’t care who ya are!Also available as an eBook.From the Hardcover edition.

    Peter Serafinowicz's Questions and Answers is a showcase for the razor wit and joyful nonsense of one of Britain's cleverest comedians, firing back genuinely funny instant replies to a stream of questions from the general public. This book collects together several hundred jokes from Peter's store of one-liners in a stylish, faux-Victorian, gifty hardback, just in time for Christmas. 'Peter Serafinowicz is hilarious' David Walliams' 'It's funny, but Peter Serafinowicz is the kind of funny person that funny people find funny' Simon Pegg 'Peter Serafinowicz is one of the funniest women in the world' Derren Brown

    Both are pretty easy to put off as they're very expensive and tend to wreck your house.' Stand-up comedian Sam Avery (aka the Learner Parent) started his award-winning blog when his twin boys were born. A million nappies, Peppa Pig episodes and a lot less sleep later, he shares all the lows, highs and hilarious in-betweens of his experiences of first-time parenthood in this, his highly anticipated first book. Sam's honest, messy and laugh-out-loud account of trying for a baby (which transpired to be babIES) and figuring out what to do with them once they arrived - right up to the toddler years of talking, walking and tantrum-ing - will have you crying with laughter between your own nappy changes and nursery runs.

     All the best,Kerry and Kurtanp.s. Kurtan wants to make it clear that although this newsletter is in book format it does not make him any of the following:Book WormBook bummerBoffinNerd alertThe lion, the witch and the book wormp.p.s If you don't buy this newsletter that's fine, but we are getting a percent of the profits to donate to the Kerry Mucklowe eating fund, so if you don't buy it I'll basically starve. Which is fine if your conscience can deal with that utter headf***.

    Toddler - the story of what happens when your little one is transformed from an innocent bundle of joy into a creature that walks, talks... and craps in a plastic bucket in the middle of your living room.Man vs Toddler exposes the lie that, that when it comes to parenting 'it gets easier'. But it is just as honest, foul-mouthed and heart-warming as Matt's first book, and will have you laughing and crying with recognition as he shares his observations and advice on everything from tantrums to the horrors of soft-play.

    She has three platinum N-Dubz albums, four MOBO awards, a groundbreaking drama series, two documentaries, a MIND award and an X Factor judge's win under her belt. Not bad for a girl who's not yet twenty-five.But this is not just a tale of glittering success. Tulisa grew up on a tough London estate and left school with no qualifications as she struggled to cope with deep-seated emotional problems while caring for her mother alone. She has seen first hand what drugs, alcohol, gang culture and violent relationships can do to young people, but she has come through it all to become the confident, inspiring artist she is today. After taking her little muffins Little Mix to the winning spot of the X Factor at the end of 2011, and with her long-awaited solo album being released later this year, the future is bright for Tulisa. Told in her own words, this is her story.

    Use this book’s handy flowcharts to make your next irrelevant choice with pseudoscientific confidence! Make the right dumb decision the first time—every time Perfect book gift for anyone who faces meaningless judgment calls Paperback; 7 x 7 inches, 96 pages; 2013 PubWest Book Design Award winner for cover design

    Written with a candid and amusing authority that comes from over 25 years of sports commentary with Eurosport, Carlton Kirby gives an insider's view of competitive cycling delivered in the inimitable, humorous, and at times outspoken style for which he has become globally famous.Peppered with hilarious anecdotes of life on the road with Tour legend Sean Kelly, Kirby indulges in some soap-box moments to lambast his various bugbears, from crazy spectators in mankinis and lazy Italian monks to the more serious issues of rider safety, team strategies and questionable ethics.With his mix of expert opinion and trademark wit, Carlton covers the funny, the serious, the heartbreaking, and the more bizarre moments of professional cycling.