Effi’s no pushover, but trying to stand up to Maxey is like trying to stop an earthquake. It would be easier to deal with Maxey if Effi had a buddy. She hasn’t had a best friend since Lola Jo moved, and she has so many secrets saved to tell a best friend—including the most amazing idea in the world for a winning science project—she’s about to explode.Effi’s got to win that science prize, find a best friend, and get back at Maxey—in just one week!From the Hardcover edition.

    Containing over 80 slice-of-life stories by a bestselling outdoor humorist, this collection brings together for the first time three works by McManus: A Fine and Pleasant Misery, Never Sniff a Gift Fish, and They Shoot Canoes, Don't They?.

    But Homer knows he isn't and soon he has the chance to prove it!

    Spanning from 1839 right through to 1894 the incorrigible Flashman fears all evil and when it comes to voluptuous queens and princesses he has be known to waver from his mission. Filled to the gunnels with escapades of unwavering excitement THE COMPLETE FLASHMAN PAPERS will quench even the most ravenous appetite for Flashman.

    Four years later, she’s a stay at home mum with two adorable children, has swapped her Louboutins for rabbit slippers and spends her day making crustless sandwiches and colour co-ordinated lunches instead of signing up high profile clients. When her husband is suddenly made redundant, there is panic in the Mathers’ household. With a mortgage the size of the national debt and a credit card balance that’s in danger of toppling, Lucy reluctantly decides she must return to work. So she digs out her old power suits from the back of the wardrobe and leaves Will to become a house husband. But sitting in Lucy’s old office is Grant Cassidy, suave, handsome and ruthless and with no intention of letting Lucy walk back into the number one job. At home, despite his breezy declaration that swapping boardroom battles for toddler groups would be a doddle, Will’s belief that parental issues could be solved with forward planning and a spread sheet soon falls by the wayside. With both Will and Lucy struggling to adapt, could their previously happy marriage be developing some cracks?

    

    After a day of ABCs and 123s, Morris is thrilled with all that he has learned.This classic silly Level One I Can Read is perfect for shared reading with a child.For fans of Danny and the Dinosaur, Sammy the Seal, or anyone who loves to read silly stories about animals.

    street cop Bryan Vila’s hilarious road to cultural enlightenment as a police chief in the remote Pacific islands of Micronesia.Through lively narrative laced with wry humor, it chronicles his adventures and misadventures on Saipan, Ponape (now Pohnpei), Truk (now Chuuk), Palau, Yap, Kosrae, and Kwajalein.Trial and error was the name of the game in this dubious paradise, where Bryan had to learn the rules—or make them up—as he went. Yet he embraced island life, succeeded in his new role, and ultimately found himself profoundly changed by his experiences in Micronesia and the lessons he learned there.

    Most people think it’s Frisbee football played barefoot and without boundaries. Those people are wrong. Ultimate is a sport played by 824,000 people a year in North America—more than korfball, lawn darts, lacrosse, and curling combined. Ultimate is so popular that it even has rules that are sometimes followed.This book will provide you with complete and total knowledge of the Ultimate game.THIS BOOK INCLUDES:-- The Eight Ultimate Player Types-- The 42 Most Common Nicknames-- 28 Near-Useless Throws on the Field-- How to Name Your Ultimate Team-- Where to Play Ultimate Without Being Mocked-- How to Score at an Ultimate Party-- Useful Playing Tips from Experts of the Game PLUS: HOW TO PLAY ULTIMATE IN EIGHT EASY STEPS – AN ILLUSTRATED GUIDE -- Can I play Ultimate with a mustache?-- Where do Ultimate babies come from?-- How can I become an Ultimate champion without practicing?-- What is “throwing Fire”?-- How can I survive a shark attack?  About the author:Pasquale Anthony Leonardo IV has covered numerous championship Ultimate tournaments since 1997 and was the Media Director for the 2006 World Junior Ultimate Championships. In 2005 he co-wrote Ultimate: The First Four Decades, which was reviewed in Sports Illustrated and featured on ESPN’s live talk show "Cold Pizza." He also writes screenplays. He lives in Brooklyn, New York and/or somewhere out West.

    His memoir is a funny, thrilling, and ruthlessly honest exhumation of his drinking life and a candid account of his first 90 days without alcoholTom traces his alcoholism back to his British boyhood at Eton College, England's oldest and most exclusive boarding school, where the boys had to wear tail suits to class and there was a school pub. He delves into his aristocratic family's well-documented fondness for the bottle and covers his own drinking apprenticeship as a trainee journalist on London's famously alcohol-sodden newspapers.Whether he is getting arrested for drunk driving at the age of 15, climbing naked into his friends' and colleagues' beds, or simply trying to file an emergency front-page update while reeling from a cocktail of Ecstacy and magic mushrooms, Tom takes the reader on an addictive journey into the insanity of intoxication—all too often followed by a mossy tongue, a dull headache, and one burning question: "What the hell did I do last night?"

    With an attitude ... and opinions ... on everything. "The PsychoKitty Speaks Out" is the diary of Max, a put-upon and under-appreciated domestic feline with both a disdain and a fondness for Sticky Little People, an addiction to Kitty Crack, and an appetite for Stinky Goodness. He began his popular blog "The Psychokitty Speaks Out" in October of 2003, and this is an expansion of that journal; all those dates when he didn't blog--they're here, in all his snarky glory.

    Navy SEAL is a collection of true events about the author's time in U.S. Navy SEAL Teams and how SEALs use their humor to cope with all sorts of tragic events that they experience in their professional careers. This book offers the reader a personal glimpse into the minds of America's most elite warriors. The stories explain how SEALs bond with each other to become brothers-in-arms through their difficult training and tactical missions. This book also explains why SEALs use extreme humor, on themselves and others, in order to cope with a job that places these professional warriors face to face with death on almost a daily basis There are are those who say that it is not logical to run into the face of danger, perhaps that explains why most people think that SEALs are crazy. We prefer to look danger in the eye and not run from it, perhaps this also explains why there are not so many of us. When The Bullet Hits Your Funny Bone takes the reader on an emotional roller-coaster ride of tragedy and laughter, giving the reader a complete inner circle view into the professional and personal lives of America's most elite warriors.

    Cotntains Blood Beast, Demon Apocalypse, Wolf Island, Death's Shadow, Dark Calling, Lord Loss, Demon Thief, Slawter, Bec

    Now for the first time, li'l ol' me shines front-and-center in a book of my very own! A Book of Jean's Own! features all-original, never-before-published material, and if that wasn't impressive enough, marks the very first Onion book by a solo writer! Historical, huh? My book is sure to find an eager audience among The Onion's ten-million-strong readership. Wait, ten million people? I had no idea! Frankly, that scares me a little. We're not in Kansas anymore, Toto! (Oh shoot, I should have put that hilarious phrase in my book!)A Book of Jean's Own! also marks a departure from past Onion books in that it isn't crammed with headlines and articles in teeny-weeny print! Instead, I write about the stuff that really matters: shopping, chocolate, part-time jobs, and hot Hollywood hunks! Whether you read my book on the bus, the beach, or the toilet, you're guaranteed to find something to chuckle at and deeply relate to!Among the many nuggets of fun:* I tell you the Twenty Things That Are Better Than Sex! * For the first time ever, you learn my maiden name!* I spill the secrets of my scrumptious chocolate-loaded desserts, such as Ooey Gooey Choco-Cocoa-Mocha Cupcakes With Raspberry Filling And Coconut-Cream Cheese-Cola Frosting!* Acquire valuable, real-world tips on coping with a job you dislike, getting through those rough teenage years, and styling a Jean hairdo of your very own!* Get a giggle out of my doodles and overdose on the words of wisdom that are my Jean Proverbs!* You've heard of pity parties—get my tips for throwing your very own self-pity party!* Check out my own cure for the blues, the Plush Jamboree!* Witness my nervous breakdown while writing this book (well, writing is hard, after all!)* Also for the first time ever, Hubby Rick speaks! (Spoiler: It's not entirely in grunts!) * Lots of exclamation points! (And phrases in parentheses!)I'm sure every single one of those ten million readers will buy my book! And who knows? They just may find something in it that will help them lead happier and better lives!