Of her worst day... Monday morning, about ten... A Human female's life will be saved because an ancient alien can't stand dickheads. Harry (the Human female, her dad had a family issue) hoped a new job as detective marshal on the planet Smuds, would bring adventure and weird aliens. It did. Chunglie is weirder than most, and proud of it. When bodies are found on a spaceship, Chunglie comes to realise his new friend is the only one who can solve the mystery and find the killer. But the killer has worked that out too, and it's up to Chunglie to keep Harry alive. You will enjoy this story, because everyone likes to see the dauntless alien sidekick come through for the win… yes?

    James.When Trinity Falls' Most Eligible Bachelor, fireman Caleb Travers, strikes a bargain with reporter Katherine "Kat" O'Malley, neither one is prepared for the sparks that fly. Now if only they could convince their grandmothers--long-time rivals--to butt out of their fake relationship. Between two black eyes, a gang shootout with real weapons, and a jealous ex-girlfriend, Katherine O'Malley sets out to prove she's badass enough to nab Trinity Falls' Most Eligible Bachelor. Not like he's going to need much convincing...pact or no pact. But when Kat is faced with having to risk her heart and go all-in with Caleb, will she be able to take that leap of faith? Or will she decide, instead, to walk away and let her heart crash and burn?

    Though the characters may not be human, the situations in these stories bear an uncanny resemblance to the insanity of everyday life. In "The Toad, the Turtle, and the Duck," three strangers commiserate about animal bureaucracy while waiting in a complaint line. In "Hello Kitty," a cynical feline struggles to sit through his prison-mandated AA meetings. In "The Squirrel and the Chipmunk," a pair of star-crossed lovers is separated by prejudiced family members.With original illustrations by Ian Falconer, author of the bestselling Olivia series of children's books, these stories are David Sedaris at his most observant, poignant, and surprising.

    Or April, the Neo-Nazi bringing up her twin daughters Lamb and Lynx (who have just formed a white-power folk group for kids called Prussian Blue), and her youngest daughter, Dresden. For a decade now, Louis Theroux has been making programs about offbeat characters on the fringes of U.S. society. Now he revisits the people who have most intrigued him to try to discover what motivates them, and why they believe the things they believe. From his Las Vegas base (where else?), Theroux calls on these assorted dreamers, schemers, and outlaws--and in the process finds out a little about the workings of his own mind. What does it mean, after all, to be weird, or "to be yourself"? Do we choose our beliefs or do our beliefs choose us? And is there something particularly weird about Americans? America, prepare yourself for a hilarious look in the mirror that has already taken the rest of the English-speaking world by storm: "Paul Theroux's son writes with just as clear an eye for character and place as his father.... And he's funny.... Theroux's final analysis of American weirdness is true and new." -- Literary Review (England)

     Sometimes society is wrong. Meet the best of the absolute worst-the perpetrators of the most wretched demonstrations of moral conduct ever:Super Snorer Terrible Baby Namer Hot Water User-Upper Express Checkout Cheater No-Umbrella Etiquette Lady Eight-Minute Voicemail Leaver Dude Who Takes Board Games Too SeriouslyPeople Who Deserve It exposes everyone and everything whose behavior, life choices, and sometimes odor leave humanity with only one painful option: a punch to the face.

    In the meantime, if you'd like to read something that alternates between laugh-out-loud-funny and apocalyptically angry, keep holding this book. Steal it if necessary. In his latest collection of rants, raves, hastily spluttered articles and scarcely literate scrawl, Charlie Brooker proves that there is almost nothing in this universe, big or small, that can't reduce a human being to a state of pure blind hatred. It won't help you lose weight, feel smarter, sleep more soundly, or feel happier about yourself. It will provide you with literally hours of distraction and merriment. It can also be used to stun an intruder, if you hit him with it correctly (hint: strike hard, using the spine, on the bridge of the nose). Only a prick wouldn't buy this book. Don't be that prick.

    This book presents the complete adaptation of the Army of Darkness feature film! Featuring 88 pages of non-stop Ash action, this is a must-have for your reading collection! Also features an interview with Bruce Campbell by writer Kurt Busiek who also provides the forward.

    Part of a series of books which examines real-life stories that have made newspaper headlines around the world, this features mysterious stories.

    Inside you will find:× The smell of honeysuckle× Heartbreak× A French-kissing rabbit× A haunted house× Death× A vagina singing sad old songs× Young geraniums in an ancient castle× Birth× A dog who appears in dreams as a spiritual guide× Divorce× Electromagnetic energy fields× Emotional horniness× The ghost of a sea captain× And moreI hope you enjoy these little weirds.Love,Jenny Slate

    Meanwhile, Stink has been collecting all the samples and evidence he can in his efforts to catch Bigfoot. Add in Aunt Opal's crazy driving (and bad sense of direction), and somehow they all end up at an abandoned amusement park, eating scat sandwiches. That's gotta be worth some thrill points. . . .

    Jack, a possible paranoid schizophrenic with a Messiah complex, inherits the title of the 14th Earl of Gurney after his father passes away in a bizarre accident. Singularly unsuited to a life in the upper echelons of elite society, Jack finds himself at the centre of a ruthless power struggle as his scheming family strives to uphold their reputation.Bubbling with acerbic wit and feverish energy, Olivier Award-winning and Oscar-nominated-writer Peter Barnes's razor-sharp satire combines a ferocious mix of hilarity and horror whilst mercilessly exposing the foibles of the English nobility.This edition of the play is published to coincide with the first-ever revival of this classic cult comedy at the Trafalgar Studios, London, on 16 January 2015.

    . .' Alison Hammond loves to laugh. And the nation laughs with her. Her sunny personality and zest for life have brought joy to millions and made her one of the UK's best-loved television presenters. Known for her hilarious and unforgettable interviews with Hollywood A-listers, Alison is also responsible for countless classic moments of broadcasting gold - from getting stuck on a caravan door to delivering Christmas cash dressed as an elf. But who is Alison Hammond really, and how did she become the personality we know and love? Shaped by the influence of her incredible mum, Alison went from small roles on television shows as a youngster to that life-changing appearance on Big Brother, before landing her dream job on This Morning. And through it all, she found the joy in every day, the positives in any situation. You've Got to Laugh gives a never-before-seen insight into Alison's life: her loves, her losses - with a side order of gossip. As well as being a hugely entertaining and uplifting read, Alison's story will inspire you to grab life with both hands and make the most of every single moment. 'Interviewer extraordinaire, reigning queen of the huns, and an out-and-out national treasure' Bustle

    Rather than quibble, Short opts for inclusiveness. Here is a dazzling array: 100s of pieces (under 1250 words) from 24 Western countries, written over five centuries by more than 200 contributors, including major authors of every era. Fables, histories, aphorisms, anecdotes, faux dictionary entries, a faux job application, hint fiction, lists, tableaus, meditations, chants, rants, and much more. Intensely pleasurable.Contributors include: Montaigne, von Kleist, Leopardi, Poe, Baudelaire, Bierce, Chopin, Stein, Jacob, Woolf, Kafka, J. Roth, Toomer, Borges, Queneau, Kunitz, Beckett, Milosz, Cortazar, Paz, Barthes, Calvino, O'Hara, Merwin, Lispector, Transtromer, Sanchez, Edson, Simic, Atwood, Valenzuela, Wideman, L. Davis, Komunyakaa, A. Carson, Forche, Harjo, Hempel, Wenderoth, Keret, B. Marcus, A. Bender, Eggers, B. Lerner, T. Brimhall.

    . . and then screwing it all up.   Sarah believes we all struggle to grow up. Sometimes we want to have fun, not take things too seriously, and have that fourth margarita. Other times we would like to get married, stay in, order Chinese food, and have a responsible, secure life.   From her formative years in small-town Arkansas to a later career of dates, drinks, and questionable day jobs, Colonna attempts to reconcile her responsible side with her fun-loving side. Sometimes this pans out, and sometimes she finds herself in Mexico handing out her phone number to anyone who calls her pretty. She moves to Los Angeles to pursue acting, but for years is forced to hone her bartending skills; she wants a serious boyfriend, but won’t give up nights at the bar with her friends. She tries to behave like an adult, but can’t seem to stop acting like a frat boy. In the end, she discovers that there doesn’t have to be just one or the other. And if there’s one thing Colonna has learned from her many missteps, it’s that hindsight is always 100 proof.Includes a Foreword by Chelsea Handler

    It's the end of the summer and the seasonal hurricanes loom on the horizon. Set against this background is a romance between two twelve-year-olds: Lucy Bishop, (who lives on the island with her parents [Bill Murray and Frances McDormand] and three younger brothers) and Sam (an orphan who is camping on the island with the Khaki Scout troop). Lucy and Sam hatch a secret plan to run away, and undertake a perilous journey though the woods and across the streams that criss-cross the island, to an isolated cove, where they set up their kingdom. They are pursued by the local sheriff (Bruce Willis) and the scout troop leader Scout Master Ward (Edward Norton). The follies of youth are matched by the compromises of age, and as the conflict between the generations escalates, the hurricane breaks upon the island putting all the characters at risk...