The book follows the author's death-defying 200-mile journey in his antique Thomas Crapper bath - not just across the Channel, but around Kent - right up to the tremendous reception and huge media attention which awaited him under Tower Bridge. Tim met the Queen, and his bath now resides in the National Maritime Museum of Great Britain.

    Harold also has beef with Shawn’s father, William Henry Harrison Middle School football coach Sam Farmer. So when Harold finds out his mother has been secretly dating Coach Farmer, he is understandably upset. And when Coach Farmer proposes to his mother at an all-you-can-eat buffet, it’s understandable when he completely flips. Fortunately Harold has an ally on his side… the school bully himself, Shawn. Like Harold, Shawn realizes a merger of the Farmer and O’Connell clans will completely obliterate his standing as the most popular guy in school. Harold and Shawn form an unholy alliance and strive to stop the wedding from heck. This task is easier said than done, however. Coach Farmer and Ms. O’Connell are deeply in love, and they’re not breaking up without a fight, no matter how many times Harold and Shawn sabotage their wedding plans. But that’s not what troubles Harold the most. What he is most troubled by is the fact that, as he and his former nemesis spend more time together, they are slowly yet surely becoming friends. At William Henry Harrison Middle School, the school bully and the school nerd becoming best buds is like a lion singing Kumbaya with a zebra. Will Harold and Shawn succeed in their dastardly plot to stop their parents’ wedding, or will they allow their emerging friendship to blossom and throw their schools’ social order out of whack? The School Bully Is My Brother is a simultaneously hilarious and sweet take on middle school life. It should appeal to any kid who must deal with bullies. Likewise, it should appeal to the bullies out there who like to dish out torment (and hopefully convince them that nerds and geeks aren’t all that bad). Think of it as Modern Family meets Diary of a Wimpy Kid. This novel is unique in that it features characters of different races, religions, sexual orientations, and socio-economic backgrounds, and most kids (and adults) will appreciate the books’ message of inclusiveness.

    From New York to Alaska, he tries to fend for himself without his trusty PA and life support, the unflappable Charmaine, for whom contentment lies in Jesus Christ and custard creams.With his blend of waspish wit and mischievous charm, Steward seeks out normal Americans, such as Joe le Taxi, the former NYPD officer who was one of the first on the scene at the Twin Towers and now runs an extortionate executive taxi service; Pam and Bob, a paranoid psychiatrist and a failed actor who once saw the back of Meryl Streep s head; Taylor the Alaskan bushwhacker who was raised by wolves and revels in their scat; Jeb the Yosemite inn-sitter who lives his life at the pace of a Ford Model T; Kacey Musgraves, the controversial country music star staying at the farm in Tennessee; and Sheriff Duke of Calhoun County, South Carolina, who reintroduces Steward to the long (and armed) arm of the law.For anyone at a crossroads, contemplating a temporary or permanent career break, this affectionate travel romp is essential reading. Journeying coast-to-coast across the US with Steward might just remind you that, despite the post-Trump hysteria, there are many normal and decent Americans out there

    Twirty-Something: A Young Woman's Guide to Giant Underwear is a hilarious new Kindle Single from Award-Winning and Amazon Best-Selling author and humorist Ingrid Reinke.On the cold January day when Ingrid Reinke turned 30, she looked back upon the last decade of her life in deep thought before finally shaking her head and mumbling to herself the following insight: "Wow, what a shit show."So, she sat down, braless and alone, and penned a collection of laugh-out-loud essays about the ridiculous, shocking and occasionally horrifying things that happen to us as we ungracefully age from 20 to 30, try, semi-successfully, to leave our clueless years behind and become mature, responsible grown-up women.From weird hairs to boob sweat, OCD to weddings, Twirty-Something swings between a no-holds-barred conversation and a cautionary tale about aging and all the crap that comes along with it.Sometime instruction manual, sometime commiseration partner, get ready for Reinke's honest and occasionally potty-mouthed accounts of this tumultuous decade.So hike up your yoga pants, plop another ice cube in your Pinot Grigio and get ready to laugh at the author, young women in general, and most of all at yourself.

    Constable Wood was a disaster waiting to happen. He was the sort of cop who was happier helping little old ladies across the street (even when they were quite content where they were) than pursuing the perpetrators of dreadful deeds. But if he failed to strike fear into the hearts of the criminal underworld, his superiors had a real problem on their hands. Never before had they been forced to deal with such a well-meaning but accident-prone officer and they hoped, fervently, never to see his like again. From his early encounters with a less-than-impressed public, through the terrifying days of the Springbok Tour riots, to the gradual realisation that perhaps he wasn’t cut out for life on the beat, this is the hilarious story of a young cop who created a severe disturbance in the force.

    But what seemed a perfect life was shattered when she went into labor four months early, delivering her one-pound, eleven-ounce daughter, Andie.The first time Kasey was wheeled into the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU), nothing prepared her for what she saw: a tiny, fragile baby in a tangle of tubes and wires. All at once, Kasey was confronted with a new and terrifying reality that would test the limits of love, family, and motherhood.In this riveting, honest, and often humorous memoir, Preemie chronicles the journey of one tiny baby’s tenacious struggle to hold on to life and the mother who ultimately grew with her. From hospital waiting rooms to the offices of alternative practitioners, from ski slopes to Symphony Hall, Kasey tries to make meaning of her daughter’s birth and eventually comes to learn that gifts come in all sizes and all forms, and sometimes... right on time.

    The perfect book for the Nana of today, it will make you laugh, it will make you cry...it will make you want to run out and buy something nice for your grandchild!

    Iconoclast. Apostate. Drunk. Many words have been used to describe Doug Stanhope, but rarely has “hopeful” been one of them. However, heading into 2016, Stanhope peered through the apocalyptic fog and saw a forecast that was more rainbows than acid rain: His first book was set for release, his new stand-up special was in the can, and he was about to film a television pilot with his friend and confidant Johnny Depp. The sharks of Hollywood were circling, and Stanhope’s pockets were filled with chum. The only thing that could stop Doug was himself, and that’s exactly what he did.First came the booze, then came the pills, then came the stripper, and then, Doug came. A tryst aboard a cruise ship leaves him literally and figuratively adrift when his scorned wife, Bingo, reveals she is in love with another man: a jug-sippin’, guitar-pickin’ hobo. A simple, black-out fling turns out to be a pebble tossed into the lake of you-know-what named 2016, and in No Encore for the Donkey, Stanhope traces the resulting rings.Written and performed by Stanhope, his third memoir follows the veteran comedian on a quest to save his marriage, his wife, and eventually his wife’s life. Our hero's journey finds Stanhope cuddling with Johnny Depp in his Los Angeles mansion, receiving some much-needed TLC from Marilyn Manson, and - most daunting - building a new hour of comedy in the rusted-out hellscapes of post-industrial America.Equal parts love letter, road romp, and harrowing condemnation of the failures of America’s mental health care system, No Encore for the Donkey is a hilarious and heartbreaking account of a man balancing on the edge of damnation. With Bingo in a coma and Trump about to be elected, Stanhope sifts through the ruins of his own personal cataclysm in order to answer the big questions: What does it mean to love someone when you can’t love yourself? What is the point of success if you have no one to share it with? And is the end of the world BYOB?

    Just a few years later, a doctor refused to believe such a diagnosis could ever have been given to this healthy, happy boy. This is the true story of how Jonah's mother, Christina, seized his limited window of opportunity for recovery. Detailing how she utilized a combination of a special diet and one-on-one tutoring with speech therapists and behavioral psychologists, Christina shares the entire journey she undertook to give her child a second chance at a full life.

    Johnstone, an outfielder and pinch hitter for the Dodgers, Cubs, Padres, Yankees, Phillies, A's, and White Sox shares humorous stories about his teammates and career.

    

    She spends hours playing happily with her two brothers outside their father’s pub. But Ruby’s world is turned upside down when a moment of disobedience results in a tragic accident, and she must learn to come to terms with the consequences.When the Chadwick family’s circumstances unexpectedly change they relocate to salubrious surroundings in respectable Brixton. As Ruby comes of age, she dreams of a future that allows her independence and a chance to find love, though her stern father has other ideas.Her fortunes change when she accepts a job as companion to a cantankerous old lady and crosses paths with a charming Irishman named Michael. Yet before long Ruby must once more choose whether to defy her family and make her own choices – whatever the cost…An absorbing and atmospheric London saga, Ruby Chadwick is a must-read for fans of Jean Fullerton, Lindsey Hutchinson and Rosie Goodwin.

    Handsome, charming Roman men; perfectly made cappuccino and risotto; breathtakingly beautiful antiquities and that incomparable Italian light—none of these are perhaps quite as idyllic as they might seem to the casual traveler. With a jaded eye but an always vulnerable heart, Geoghegan gives us the anti-Eat, Pray, Love, a tale every bit as atmospheric but way funnier than the runaway best-seller. This is what life in Italy really looks like when you're a 30-something woman running from grief and trying to find her way back to love. Elizabeth Geoghegan writes in English, dreams in Italian, and wishes she could remember how to speak French. She earned an MFA in fiction writing from the School of the Art Institute of Chicago and an MA in creative writing from the University of Colorado at Boulder. She is currently completing a story collection, The Book of Boys, and at work on a novel called The Year of the Cock, a black comedy set in Southeast Asia. She lives in Rome, Italy, on a dead-end street between a convent and a jail. This is a short e-book published by Shebooks--high quality fiction, memoir, and journalism for women, by women. For more information, visit http://shebooks.net.

    Thereafter, he was his worst enemy. A tough-as-nails father who firmly enforces his old-fashioned ways, a mother who has little or no say, and a son with a penchant for getting into misadventures. The boy tries to convince his parents that something is wrong with him, and he is really physically ill. He suffers three years of humiliation, agony, and punishment from the school and his father. The school principal, gave him swats, detention and isolation, where he spent all day locked up in an empty storage room. His emotionally unstable father spanked him ferociously. The boy was also whipped shirtless with his shorts on leaving him with welts all over his body from head to toe. He suffered other cruel punishments as well. The school and his parents misjudge him almost costing him his life. The parents get a divorce. The mother and brothers moved back to Wisconsin from Texas. They found themselves in an all-black housing project, being the only whites there for almost four years. He grows up quick and learns that life isn't as simple as black and white. When he turns 18, he decides to move back to Texas to seek vengeance from his father in a small country town with his father and his new mother. He hasn't seen or talked to his father in almost four years. Things fall apart fast. The young man and his younger brother end up out on the streets being homeless for two months and encounters unpredictable adventures. A raw, uncut true story.

     Join Cooper and the rest of the C&C gang as they fight tyranny the best way they know how... by being assholes. The author's share of royalties from sales of this title are donated monthly to the ACLU. Join me in pissing in the face of tyranny.