Could you keep your cool while talking to all levels of stupid? Would you be able to wear a headset all day without wanting to throw it out of the window? All calls are recorded, analysed and timed to the second. Average handling time (AHT) is discussed as if it's the very meaning of life and managers are always coming up with new ways to shave milliseconds from each call. Is it acceptable to only have a total eight minutes a day for visits to the toilet or coffee machine? Imagine not being allowed to hang up on someone who is screaming abuse down the line at you. Welcome to the Call Centre! Izabelle worked in call centres for many years; from insurance to home shopping, from selling advertising to discussing loans. Finally in the early hours one morning, she decided enough was in fact far too much and left her final call centre job the same day, never to return. On her way out of the door for the final time she vowed she would write a book about life in a call centre. Here is that book. Read about call centres in general, memorable customers and staff. How do staff stay sane? What is Big Red? Are cranberries the true meaning of Christmas? Why would you have leather trousers round your ankles in a lift? How not to impress your boss. Izabelle shares these and many other true tales from her years of incarceration in UK call centres.

    This is a collection of original essays that can not be found anywhere else. Each volume is different and you never know what you'll find. They are an assortment of Jen's childhood memories, stories about her family, and rants about everything that make her punchy all told with her usual snarky take. Volume Three of this series includes 3 NEVER BEFORE SEEN essays: HEY DICK, WOULD YOU SEND YOUR MOM THAT PICTURE? LAURA INGALLS WILDER NEVER HAD A SIGNATURE LIPSMACKER FLAVOR MISSED MOM CONNECTION

    The small fry of petty larceny and minor disturbances in the backwaters of north-west London are his daily round. His philosophising Welsh drinking companion Mod, his outsized and unruly dog Kitty, his quarrels with his landlady Mrs Fulljames - none of these bodes well for the efficient solving of crimes and outwitting of villainy. But Davies is encouraged by his beautiful friend Jemma, and every so often he stumbles upon something really big. Gathered together for the first time in one volume, here are Leslie Thomas's three books about the most endearing comic hero he has ever created.

    I'm a filthy rich, playboy workaholic that doesn’t have time for a relationship. Women equal fun, and I cut them loose once I’m through. Lucky for me, the corporate climbers in this fast-paced city are just as cutthroat as I am. We keep it light and tight. That way, no one gets hurt. Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? Until I want to buy the cow. She slays me. My talented, beautiful Lydia. It’s too bad she’s one of those airhead creative types just like my douche bag actor brother. Always climbing, striving, manipulating. Then turning into a stage five clinger. If it wasn’t for that, I’d make her mine. Lydia Charming NYC playboy, Callum Markham, is completely unexpected. He's trying to chase away the ghosts of his past with work, work and an extra helping of work. Nothing is more important to him than closing the next billion dollar deal. I just started dating his brother and I care about Tristan. So why do I see Callum’s face every time I close my eyes? I have to resist this blazing lust I feel whenever he’s near. And I will. Because I'm not the kind of girl that betrays another, even if I’d like to throw Callum down and devour him. I’m a famous romance author and he’s a hot shot lawyer. On the paper I love, Tristan is the obvious choice. He’s an edgy and arrogant actor who gets me. Why bark up the wrong tree? Until I want to let out a little yelp. Callum’s brought me to my knees. He’s so compelling he’d make the perfect hero for my next novel. Sexy, intelligent, magnetic. It’s too bad he’s not interested in anyone employed in the creative arts. If it wasn’t for that, I’d let myself fall. This full-length alpha billionaire romance by best-selling author Colleen Charles is meant for mature audiences. For a limited time, a FREE copy of Colleen's #1 Firefighter Romance novel, Wasted Heat, is included. Colleen's books are always FREE with Kindle Unlimited.

    Peter Serafinowicz's Questions and Answers is a showcase for the razor wit and joyful nonsense of one of Britain's cleverest comedians, firing back genuinely funny instant replies to a stream of questions from the general public. This book collects together several hundred jokes from Peter's store of one-liners in a stylish, faux-Victorian, gifty hardback, just in time for Christmas. 'Peter Serafinowicz is hilarious' David Walliams' 'It's funny, but Peter Serafinowicz is the kind of funny person that funny people find funny' Simon Pegg 'Peter Serafinowicz is one of the funniest women in the world' Derren Brown

    

    Readers will relate to Crewe’s ache at missing her mom, her nostalgia for her childhood, her frustrations at raising teenagers, and her impatience for terrible parking lot etiquette in equal measure. The book spans sixteen years’ worth of columns for The Cape Bretoner Magazine, Cahoots Magazine, and The Chronicle Herald.Are You Kidding Me?! is a side-splitting, heartwarming, Cape Breton–flavoured celebration of the little things.

    Eliza is angry. Very angry, and very, very hot.Late for work and dodging traffic, Eliza's still reeling from the latest row with her husband Paddy. Twenty-something years ago their eyes met over the class divide in oh-so-cool Britpop London, but these days their eyes only meet to bicker over the three-seat sofa.Paddy seems content filling his downtime with canal boats and cricket, but Eliza craves the freedom and excitement of her youth. Being fifty feels far too close to pensionable, their three teenage children are growing up fast, and even the dog has upped and died. Something is going to have to change—menopause be damned!Woman of a Certain Rage is a smart and funny novel for all the women who won't be told it's too late to shake things up, and Eliza is a heroine many will recognise. She may sweat a lot and need a wee all the time, but she has something to prove.

    But Rosie is adamant. Four couples, each hosting a dinner party on a different night of the week, with a prize at the end for the best one. It'll be a good laugh, won't it? And a great way for everyone to get to know each other. What could possibly go wrong?What Rosie doesn't anticipate are the lengths her fellow hosts might be prepared to go to in order to claim the prize -- outlandish recipes, rare ingredients sourced from abroad, and a chocolate tart that looks just too good to be homemade… But perhaps she should be more worried about the mounting tension between the guests, as backbiting breaks out over the appetisers and a glass of wine too many leads to indiscreet flirtation. As the pressure in the kitchen rises, relationships begin to crack under strain, high-minded principles collide and the oven gloves come off… But that's all part of the fun. Isn't it?

    The laughter continues to flow in Gina Kirkham's brilliant sequel to the hilarious Handcuffs, Truncheon and a Polyester Thong.Our hapless heroine, Constable Mavis Upton, is preparing to walk down the aisle with her fianc� Joe, but has to deal with her temperamental teen daughter, as well as investigate a serial flasher on a push bike.Throw a diva drag queen into the mix and you can expect more marvellous Mavis mishaps...Revel in Gina Kirkham's humorous, poignant, and moving stories of an everyday girl who one day followed a dream.

    Featuring all new, never before published material, Crows, Papua New Guinea, and Boats is the latest release by David Thorne, author of The Internet is a Playground and 27bslash6.com

    Reduced price for a limited time only We never let a woman get between us... until her. An enemies to lovers, paranormal romance box set. Denver, Blaze, and Tallon We are the Elite. The top of the dragon guards, we live in a world of our own making. Arrogant assholes, emotionally unavailable, and loyal only to each other, With secrets we each guard and protect, even from each other. And every woman gives us exactly what we want Until her. Carrie Enters our world, turning everything upside down Sweet and innocent, she's a light in our darkness She’s also a shifter wolf: forbidden, off limits, unattainable and we all want her… …want her gone. Taunting, insulting, and bullying her We fight to force her out But Carrie’s no pushover And now, she’s determined to get under our skin, rip us apart Crush our arrogant little souls, until we're lying on the floor in pieces, begging her for forgiveness. What she doesn’t know is that we're each determined to have her Each promised to make her ours Each resolute to never let her go Until she’s on her knees, begging us for more. She’s our to keep and we’re never letting her go. This is a completed series, and includes 3 books in this box set. Includes dark and intense scenes.

    We all know one! They like to groan and grumble, offering their own commentary on the shortcomings of modern life. Whether it is queues at the supermarket, the state of the health system, the price of a pint these days, the hairstyles of teenagers, or the number of Maltesers you actually get in a bag, there is always something that will get their goat. 'The Grumpy Old Git's Guide to Life' is a hilarious celebration of all these grumps, how to identify one, what exactly they find so irritating and why we find their rants quite so amusing.

    The cruel bon mot which has its sting drawn from the laughter that ensues. It was Oscar Wilde who pointed out that no comment was in bad taste if it was amusing - and if for that reason alone it is worth while preserving these delightful examples of verbal dexterity.

    In this extended interview, Getlen spoke to Carlin about all the subjects above and more, finding the veteran comic, who changed the way comedians approach the art of stand-up comedy several times over the course of his remarkable fifty-year career, to be even more intelligent and contemplative than one might expect. Carlin never shied away from difficult subjects, answering every question as if he had been mulling over the topic at hand for years before reaching his well-stated conclusion. Conversations with Carlin highlights the comedian’s anti-authoritarian views - what he would refer to as his “outsidership” - on almost every page, and features his extensive thoughts on the topics most closely associated with him, comedy and words. But the book also presents sides of the man that his fans have rarely, if ever, seen before, as he discusses topics like the importance to him of romantic love - George was with the same woman for almost four decades, until her death in 1997 - and the conditions under which he would put his life on the line and go off to war. Conversations with Carlin will be a revelation for longtime fans, providing one of the most in-depth looks yet at this brilliant comedy icon, while also serving as the perfect introduction for those just now discovering George Carlin and his vast influence on the comedy world. ABOUT THE AUTHOR Larry Getlen is a veteran journalist who has written for TIME, Esquire, New York Magazine, Radar, and the New York Post. He’s also a comedy writer and former stand-up comedian who has appeared on “Chappelle’s Show,” and was once booed off-stage at the legendary Apollo Theater in Harlem. He lives in New York City. Follow him on Twitter @larrygetlen.