Jarvis may be an all-round irritant, but he's harmless & deep down he's got a heart of gold. As his oldest (& only) friend reflects on his life with Jarvis Ham, he wonders what it would have been like if they had never met.

    James Ogilvie is the third generation.Pitchforked with mixed feelings into imperial Britain’s elite military academy, Sandhurst, and then into the family regiment, he finds himself in 1894 a subaltern en route to India – a torrid journey out that teaches him the first lessons of military life and the command of men.His initiation is made more difficult by the vindictive attentions of the adjutant, Captain Black, and by the high expectations placed on him by his own irascible father, his Divisional Commander on the North West Frontier of India.Ogilvie gets his first taste of action when the Royal Strathspeys are sent through the Khyber Pass to contain the rebel Ahmed Khan outside Jalalabad. Fighting the border tribesmen brings brushes with death, but also many opportunities for the kind of glory that can forge a distinguished military career. But as the campaign goes on, Ogilvie also starts to doubt the entire Imperial project.‘Drums Along the Khyber’ is a thrilling historical adventure story, rich in period detail. It is the first in the Ogilvie series of novels by Philip McCutchan. ‘The adventure-writer succeeds who makes you read faster than you really can…Drums Along the Khyber has something of this quality’ – The Sunday Times Philip McCutchan (1920-1996) grew up in the naval atmosphere of Portsmouth Dockyard and developed a lifetime's interest in the sea. Military history was an early interest resulting in several fiction books, from amongst his large output, about the British Army and its campaigns, especially in the last 150 years.Endeavour Press is the UK's leading independent publisher of digital books.

    When she’s not covered in fake fur, she sleeps with the wrong men, avoids laundry, sets her vibrator on fire, and dodges her mother’s demanding phone calls. Surrounded by eccentric friends, an offbeat family, peculiar coworkers, and a twenty-four-year-old goldfish, Jane searches for happiness through a maze of dirty clothes and hard lessons.Happy(ish) is set in Ferndale and the metro Detroit area.

    All they have to do is fix the place up and sell it for a tidy profit!Except—as anyone who has renovated an old house knows—things are never that easy.The walls are rapidly crumbling around them, the architect is a certified lunatic, the budget is spiraling…and then there’s the disturbingly intelligent cow to worry about.On top of all this, the renovation is being featured on a daytime reality TV show, and as soon as Great Locations presenter Gerard O’Keefe catches sight of Hayley’s first-floor balcony, he’s determined to woo her out of her ban on romance, whether she wants him to or not.Will Dan and Hayley survive and sell up? Or will the whole thing collapse on them like a ton of bricks?From bestselling author Nick Spalding comes a hilarious tale of life, love and dodgy plumbing.

    isn't it?'A John Cleese Twitter question ['What is your pet peeve?'], first sparked the 'Weird Things Customers Say in Bookshops' blog, which grew over three years into one bookseller's collection of ridiculous conversations on the shop floor. From 'Did Beatrix Potter ever write a book about dinosaurs?' to the hunt for a paperback which could forecast the next year's weather; and from 'I've forgotten my glasses, please read me the first chapter' to 'Excuse me... is this book edible?: here is a book for heroic booksellers and booklovers everywhere.This full-length collection illustrated by the Brothers McLeod also includes top 'Weird Things' from bookshops around the world.

    What was once a bittersweet, fleeting romance between Nigel Pressley and Rona Hume develops into a different kind of attraction years later under the influence of Nigel's gentle widowed mother.

    E. Poynor. For less than twenty percent of what you paid for that grande maple-choco-frappa-machacino latte you'll spew out your nose while reading this book, you can learn about an aspect of Alaska most people never think about: everyday life in Alaska. Of Moose and Men: A Skewed Look at Life in Alaska provides a unique insight into the Land of the Midnight Sun, where laughing about the trials unique to the country is better than giving up.

    She’s a nobody. And that’s the way she likes it. Her father, on the other hand — Hank Keeling, the serial killer and occasional cannibal better known as the Pork Chop Killer — has just gone viral. Thanks to a prison guard’s error, a cell phone video of Keeling’s botched execution is quickly becoming an internet sensation. After watching her father die in all his pixelated glory, Caroline is taken off-guard when Keeling himself shows up at her front door, looking very much not dead. And he has a plan. A plan involving Caroline. A plan Caroline is going to take part in whether she wants to or not. Success means wealth beyond her dreams. Failure means death. Soon Caroline is whisked away from her bland life to face down killers, gangsters and a well-meaning cop in a hunt for long-lost fortune. Deceit, avarice and unrelenting violence collide in a coming-of-age story like none you’ve ever read.

    In Delhi, he meets three guys who join his dramatic journey—they all want to change the country. They all aspire to become IAS officers. They all want to take the ‘never-seen-before-types dowry’! As expected, they mess up with a very proper college professor. There begins a chase, funnier than Tom and Jerry… Will the professor find them? Will their dreams ever come true? Find out in this laughathon full of clichés straight from the cow belt of India!Note: This book is in the Hindi language and has been made available for the Kindle, Kindle Fire HD, Kindle Paperwhite, iPhone and iPad, and for iOS, Windows Phone and Android devices.

    Longing for what she doesn’t have, the unfulfilled stay-at-home mom goes on a journey of self discovery tainted by the pursuit of a perfect body. An unlikely friendship with fun-loving and thin-obsessed Stacy Vargus leads Sarah down a path she believes will bring her closer to a world she has spent a lifetime chasing, only to realize it doesn’t exist. An unexpected reunion with an old friend unleashes a passion for life Sarah had long forgotten, giving her a new lens through which to view her world.This debut novel by Michelle Cantrell offers an entertaining twist on keeping up with the Joneses while revealing the dangers of losing oneself to the superficial status symbols of suburban life.

    29 pages of chapter summaries, quotes, character analysis, themes, and more – everything you need to sharpen your knowledge of Naked. This detailed literature summary also contains Topics for Discussion and a Free Quiz on Naked by David Sedaris.

    Their grand project, a writing school called Les Champs Créatifs, is finally complete – only, nobody’s signed up. Natalie and the boys must contend with the ever-colourful locals, including a Sicilian faith healer, threatening hunters and the ‘Christmas Pudding Man’, and Ian must test his mod mettle against two new additions to the animal family – a pair of disappearing goats. With stresses, strains and animal poo mounting up la famille Moore have their work cut out – but they’re determined to give it their best shot!

    Suddenly, this longtime church member and pillar of her small Southern community finds herself in the center of an unseemly scandal-and the guardian of a wan nine-year-old whose mere presence turns her life upside down. With razor-sharp wit and perfect "Steel Magnolia" poise, Miss Julia speaks her mind indeed-about a robbery, a kidnapping, and the other disgraceful events precipitated by her husband's death. Miss Julia Takes Over - Miss Julia has come to terms with her onetime rival, Hazel Marie, and is now the guardian of Little Lloyd. Now Hazel Marie has disappeared, and Miss Julia has to find her. With Little Lloyd by her side, she sets off across North Carolina, and encounters enough obstacles and adventures to tax even Miss Julia's amazing and ingenious survival skills.

    They cannot skin a fish, dominate a battlefield, or transform majestic creatures of the Southern Hemisphere into piano keyboards.The Heming Way demonstrates how modern eunuchs—brainwashed by PETA and Alcoholics Anonymous—can learn from Papa's unparalleled example: drunken, unshaven, meat-devouring, wife-divorcing, and gloriously self-destructive.Advice includes:How to kill enough animals to render a species endangered—just like Papa!Getting your friends to think drinking a daiquiri is manly . . . just by drinking one nine yourselfAchieving sufficiently high testosterone levels to never have to worry about the chance of having a daughter instead of a sonAnd much more!Profane, insightful, hilarious and loaded with more than 150 photos, facts and insights about Papa, The Heming Way is a difficult path, and not for the weak, but truth is manlier than fiction.

    But that’s before she sees the perfect child. There he sits in his stroller, angelic and beautiful, magnetic and serene– and he makes Jane question everything she has and everything she thought she wanted. Suddenly all she can see are babies and pregnant woman everywhere. Were there always so many of them? And while there was once a man in her life–her one true love, Sam, gone from this world too soon–there is no man now. Jane must make a choice: possibly become a bitter and childless old lady, letting her biological clock tick on ’till menopause, or tend the ache in her heart now, by becoming a single mother. As Jane struggles to make the most important decision of her life, friends and family offer no shortage of opinions. There’s Ray, her “hubstitute” and gay best friend who would be jealous of any kid who got Jane as a mom; Sheila, her sister, who went from zero to sixty when she eloped with Raoul–who had two young twin sons– and has mixed feelings about being a new mommy; her strict, Catholic father who can’ t imagine what level of hell Jane would banish herself to if she becomes a single mother; and the women of Families with Children from China who are preparing to adopt orphan daughters–without a man in sight. Just as she thinks she’s made up her mind, Jane discovers one small wrench in her plans: handsome, charming, funny Peter, who just happens to be (unhappily) married. . . . And Baby Makes Two is a heartbreakingly honest, wonderfully addictive, and funny novel about love and loss, family and friendship. Judy Sheehan, co-creator of the smash hit Tony n’ Tina’s Wedding, has perfectly captured the delights and dilemmas of the scariest job in the world: motherhood.From the Hardcover edition.