How to Not Die Alone: The Surprising Science That Will Help You Find Love


Logan Ury - 2021
    Great relationships don’t just appear in our lives—they’re the culmination of a series of decisions, including whom to date, how to end it with the wrong person, and when to commit to the right one. But our brains often get in the way. We make poor decisions, which thwart us on our quest to find lasting love. Drawing from years of research, behavioral scientist turned dating coach Logan Ury reveals the hidden forces that cause those mistakes. But awareness on its own doesn’t lead to results. You have to actually change your behavior. Ury shows you how. This “simple-to-use guide” (Lori Gottlieb, New York Times bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone) focuses on a different decision in each chapter, incorporating insights from behavioral science, original research, and real-life stories. You’ll learn: -What’s holding you back in dating (and how to break the pattern) -What really matters in a long-term partner (and what really doesn’t) -How to overcome the perils of online dating (and make the apps work for you) -How to meet more people in real life (while doing activities you love) -How to make dates fun again (so they stop feeling like job interviews) -Why “the spark” is a myth (but you’ll find love anyway) This “data-driven” (Time), step-by-step guide to relationships, complete with hands-on exercises, is designed to transform your life. How to Not Die Alone will help you find, build, and keep the relationship of your dreams.

Loving Bravely: Twenty Lessons of Self-Discovery to Help You Get the Love You Want


Alexandra H. Solomon - 2017
    In order to attract a life partner, you must first become a good partner to yourself. This book offers twenty invaluable lessons that will help you explore and commit to your own emotional and psychological well-being so you’ll be ready, resilient, confident, and completely whole when that special someone comes along.Many of us enter into romantic relationships full of expectation and hope, only to be sorely disappointed by the realization that the partner we’ve selected is a flawed human being with their own neuroses, history, and desires. Most relationships end because one or both people haven’t done the internal work necessary to develop self-awareness and take responsibility for their own experiences. We’ve all heard “You can’t love anyone unless you love yourself,” but amid life’s distractions and the myth of perfect, romantic love, how exactly do you do that?In Loving Bravely, psychologist and relationship expert Alexandra H. Solomon introduces the idea of relational self-awareness, encouraging you to explore your personal history to gain an understanding of your own relational patterns, as well as your strengths and weaknesses in relationships. By doing so, you’ll learn what relationships actually require, beyond the fairytale notions of romance. And by maintaining a steady but gentle focus on yourself, you’ll build the best possible foundation for making a loving connection.By understanding your past relationship experiences, cultivating a strong sense of self-awareness, and determining what it is you really want in a romantic partner—you’ll be ready to find the healthy, lasting love your heart desires.

Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love


Sue Johnson - 2008
    In Hold Me Tight, Dr. Sue Johnson presents Emotionally Focused Therapy to the general public for the first time. Johnson teaches that the way to save and enrich a relationship is to reestablish safe emotional connection and preserve the attachment bond. With this in mind, she focuses on key moments in a relationship-from "Recognizing the Demon Dialogue" to "Revisiting a Rocky Moment" -- and uses them as touch points for seven healing conversations.Through case studies from her practice, illuminating advice, and practical exercises, couples will learn how to nurture their relationships and ensure a lifetime of love.

Project: Happily Ever After: Saving Your Marriage When the Fairytale Falters


Alisa Bowman
    . . So she launched a last-ditch effort to save her marriage. Project: Happily Ever After is her fearlessly honest and humorous account of how she went from being a “divorce daydreamer” to renewing her wedding vows—and all of the steps in between.From bikini waxes to erotica, romance instruction manuals to second honeymoons, the silent treatment to power struggles, she goes where many marriage-improvement gurus have feared to tread. Equal parts funny, poignant, and most importantly, useful, Bowman’s story will give other miserably-married folks courage and hope. And in addition to telling her own story, she packs straightforward prescriptive guidance, including a “10-Step Marital Improvement Guide.” Readers will laugh. They’ll cry. And they can start on the road toward their own happy ending!

The Surrendered Wife: A Practical Guide To Finding Intimacy, Passion and Peace


Laura Doyle - 2000
    But that's exactly what Laura Doyle thought before she discovered the ecstasy of marital surrender. "When I stopped trying to control the way John did everything and started trusting him implicitly," she confides, "I began to have the marriage I've always dreamed of. When I stopped criticizing his ideas and taking over every situation as if he couldn't handle it, something magical happened. The man who wooed me was back." In The Surrendered Wife, Doyle spells out her plan for creating a hot, dreamy marriage. Just stop trying to control your husband, she suggests, and you can better appreciate the gifts of a trusting, dependent relationship. "Control and intimacy are opposites," Doyle explains. "Without being vulnerable, I can't have intimacy. Without intimacy, there can be no romance or emotional connection. When I am vulnerable with my husband, the intimacy, passion, and devotion seem to flow naturally." With simple, effective writing, Doyle teaches her readers how to trust their husbands.Does Doyle preach the Zen of happiness -- or the zilch of wimpiness? Either way, The Surrendered Wife is sure to raise questions for every woman. --Jesse Gale

For Better: The Science of a Good Marriage


Tara Parker-Pope - 2009
    And, surprise: It's good news. We've all heard the statistic: Fifty percent of marriages end in divorce. It's enough to make many couples give up when the going gets rough, thinking that's what everybody else does. But what if it weren't true? What if, in fact, it's not only possible but often easier than you think to save a seemingly troubled relationship? These are the questions Tara Parker-Pope asked herself after her own divorce. An New York Times investigative journalist on the health and wellness beat, she turned to some of the top biologists, neuroscientists, psychologists, and other scientists for the facts about marriage and divorce. Those facts were more positive and provocative than she'd ever expected, and For Better offers page after page of astonishing, eye-opening good news. Parker-Pope presents the science behind why some marriages work and others don't; the biology behind why some spouses cheat and others remain faithful; the best diagnostic tools created by the most cutting-edge psychologists to assess the probability of success in getting married, staying married, or remarrying. There are questionnaires to uncover potentially damaging hidden attitudes toward spouses. There are tools to show the impact of routine, fresh activity and how small adjustments can make a huge difference. For Better is the definitive guide to the most profound relationship of our lives.

Love and Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs


Emerson Eggerichs - 2004
    Emerson Eggerichs and his wife, Sarah, have already taken the Love & Respect message across America and are changing the way couples talk to, think about, and treat each other. What do you want for your marriage? Want some peace? Want to feel close? Want to feel valued? Want to experience marriage the way God intended? Then why not try some Love and Respect.A wife has one driving need?to feel loved. When that need is met, she is happy. A husband has one driving need?to feel respected. When that need is met, he is happy. When either of these needs isn’t met, things get crazy. Love & Respect reveals why spouses react negatively to each other, and how they can deal with such conflict quickly, easily, and biblically.What readers say about Love & Respect“I’ve been married 35 years and have not heard this taught.”“This is the key that I have been missing.”“You connected all the dots for me.”“As a counselor, I have never been so excited about any material.”“You’re on to something huge here.”Partner Love & Respect with the Love & Respect Workbook for Couples, Individuals, and Groups for an added experience. Love & Respect is also available in Spanish, Amor y Respeto.

The Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to Recognize It and How to Respond


Patricia Evans - 1992
    You'll get more of the answers you need to recognize abuse when it happens, respond to abusers safely and appropriately, and most important, lead a happier, healthier life.In two all-new chapters, Evans reveals the Outside Stresses driving the rise in verbal abuse--and shows you how you can mitigate the devastating effects on your relationships. She also outlines the Levels of Abuse that characterize this kind of behavior--from subtle, insidious put-downs that can erode your self-esteem to full-out tantrums of name-calling, screaming, and threatening that can escalate into physical abuse.Drawing from hundreds of real situations suffered by real people just like you, Evans offers strategies, sample scripts, and action plans designed to help you deal with the abuse--and the abuser.This timely new edition of The Verbally Abusive Relationship, Expanded Third Edition puts you on the road to recognizing and responding to verbal abuse, one crucial step at a time!

The 6 Husbands Every Wife Should Have: How Couples Who Change Together Stay Together


Steven Craig - 2012
    Steven Craig offers a revolutionary book that helps couples identify the six different people they need to become over the course of their relationship in order to grow together rather than apart.Throughout his career as a marriage counselor, Dr. Craig has identified a common thread in strained relationships: the belief that change should be avoided at all costs. Determined to destroy this harmful myth, Dr. Craig presents a concept as straightforward as it is original: Marriages don’t fail when people change; they fail when people don’t change.In 6 Husbands, Dr. Craig divides the typical marriage into six stages, outlining both the common misconceptions and opportunities for growth at each level. From the earliest stage of becoming the right person for your spouse in the new marriage; to thinking and acting like a team; to adjusting to the dynamics of parenthood; to caring for older children and elderly parents; to adapting to the empty nest; and then to growing into the golden years and becoming a dependable companion, Dr. Craig offers new communication tools, rules for intimacy, checklists, and assessments designed to inspire change.The 6 Husbands Every Wife Should Have will revitalize readers’ notions of marriage and turn it into an ongoing activity that husband and wife can conquer actively—together.

The Dance of Connection: How to Talk to Someone When You're Mad, Hurt, Scared, Frustrated, Insulted, Betrayed, or Desperate


Harriet Lerner - 2001
    Harriet Lerner teaches us how to restore love and connection with the people who matter the most. In The Dance of Connection we learn what to say (and not say) when:- We need an apology, and the person who has harmed us won't apologize or be accountable.- We don't know how to take a conversation to the next level when we feel desperate.- We feel worn down by the other person's criticism, negativity, or irresponsible behavior.- We have been rejected or cut off, and the other person won't show up for the conversation.- We are struggling with staying or leaving, and we don't know our "bottom line."- We are convinced that we've tried everything -- and nothing changes.Filled with compelling personal stories and case examples, Lerner outlines bold new "voice lessons" that show us how to speak with honor and personal integrity, even when the other person behaves badly.Whether we're dealing with a partner, parent, sister, or best friend, The Dance of Connection teaches us how to navigate our most important relationships with clarity, courage, and joyous conviction.

Why We Love: The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love


Helen Fisher - 2004
    If you want to understand this central quality of human nature to its roots, read Why We Love." —Edward O. WilsonIn Why We Love, renowned anthropologist Helen Fisher offers a new map of the phenomenon of love—from its origins in the brain to the thrilling havoc it creates in our bodies and behavior. Working with a team of scientists to scan the brains of people who had just fallen madly in love, Fisher proved what psychologists had until recently only suspected: when you fall in love, specific areas of the brain "light up" with increased blood flow. This sweeping new book uses this data to argue that romantic passion is hardwired into our brains by millions of years of evolution. It is not an emotion; it is a drive as powerful as hunger.Provocative, enlightening, engaging, and persuasive, Why We Love offers radical new answers to age-old questions: what love is, who we love—and how to keep love alive.

Feeling Good Together: The Secret to Making Troubled Relationships Work


David D. Burns - 2008
    Whether it's our spouse, co-worker or neighbour, something about the relationship just rubs us up the wrong way, and though our natural instinct is to blame the other person, that can just make things worse.In Feeling Good Together, renowned US psychiatrist Dr David Burns applies his successful method of cognitive interpersonal therapy to teach us how to take control of our relationships.Building on the principles that he first introduced in Feeling Good, Burns offers innovative techniques designed to improve communication skills and shows us how to cope with different personality types, such as the big ego, the jealous type, the stubborn mule and the critic, and reveals the five secrets of effective communication.This groundbreaking book will identify the behaviours that are sabotaging your relationships and give you the tools to change.

How to Be a Person in the World: Ask Polly's Guide Through the Paradoxes of Modern Life


Heather Havrilesky - 2016
    Whether she’s responding to cheaters or loners, lovers or haters, the depressed or the down-and-out, Havrilesky writes with equal parts grace, humor, and compassion to remind you that even in your darkest moments you’re not alone.

Love and War: Finding the Marriage You've Dreamed of


John Eldredge - 2009
    John and Stasi Eldredge have contributed the quintessential works on Christian spirituality through the experience of men and the experience of women and now they turn their focus to the incredible dynamic between those two forces. With refreshing openness that will grab readers from the first page, the Eldredges candidly discuss their own marriage and the insights they've gained from the challenges they faced. Each talks independently to the reader about what they've learned, giving their guidance personal immediacy and a balance between the male and female perspectives that has been absent from all previous books on this topic. They begin LOVE & WAR with an obvious but necessary acknowledgement: Marriage is fabulously hard. They advise that the sooner we get the shame and confusion off our backs, the sooner we'll find our way through. LOVE & WAR shows couples how to fight for their love and happiness, calling men and women to step into the great adventure God has waiting for them together. Walking alongside John and Stasi Eldredge, every couple can discover how their individual journeys are growing into a story of meaning much greater than anything they could do or be on their own.

Passionate Marriage: Keeping Love and Intimacy Alive in Committed Relationships


David Schnarch - 1997
    With a new preface by the author, this updated edition explores the ways we can keep passion alive and even reach the height of sexual and emotional fulfillment later in life. David Schnarch accompanies his inspirational message of attaining long-term happiness with proven techniques developed in worldwide workshops to help couples develop greater intimacy. Chapters provide the scaffolding for overcoming sexual and emotional roadblocks— from evaluating personal expectations to laying the groundwork for keeping the sparks alive years down the road, and everything in between. This book is sure to help couples overcome hurdles in their relationships and reach the fullest potential in their love lives.