The Book of Useless Information


Louis Weber - 2011
    

Blackadder: The Whole Damn Dynasty, 1485-1917


Richard Curtis - 1998
    Blackadder: The Whole Damn Dynasty is the book for you. Here, at last, for the first time, are the full scripts of one of British television's funniest comedies. Follow the hilarious misadventures of the despicable Edmund Blackadder and his dimwitted sidekick Baldrick through four centuries of hopelessly mangled English history: from medieval nastiness through English history: from medieval nastiness through Elizabethan and Regency glory, to the mud and sauteed rats of the First World War. Aside from the ball-bouncingly funny scripts themselves, Blackadder also features special bonus sections: "Instruments of Torture in the Late Middle Ages"; "Medieval Medicine" ("1. Herbs; 2. Leeches; 3. Saw It Off"); and an indispensable "Index of Blackadder's Finest Insults".

The Book of Heroic Failures: The Official Handbook of the Not Terribly Good Club of Great Britain


Stephen Pile - 1979
    Three years ago Stephen Pile decided to do something about it: he formed the Not Terribly Good Club of Great Britain. To get into the Club you had to be not terribly good at something and preferably downright awful. Members addressed the Club on the things they did worst or couldn't do at all. Sometimes they would give displays and win standing ovations. Over the years they held appalling musical evenings, art exhibitions and so on until the membership grew from 20 to 200. The book contains an application form for membership.

Great Political Wit: Laughing (Almost) All the Way to the White House


Bob Dole - 1998
    In this delightful collection, the longtime United States senator shares his favorite anecdotes, witticisms, and reminiscences. From the campaign trail to the Oval Office, from smoke-filled rooms to the chambers of the Capitol, Bob Dole surveys a century of political wit.  There are bon mots from Calvin Coolidge, Winston Churchill, Harry Truman, John F. Kennedy, and a host of other political figures. Bob Dole introduces each section with mirthful moments from his own experience, displaying the gift for wry humor that has made him a favorite guest on late-night talk shows.A jovial--and completely bipartisan--compendium, Great Political Wit is a connoisseur's selection of political repartee at its best.

Mind = Blown: Amazing Facts About This Weird, Hilarious, Insane World


Matthew Santoro - 2016
    His weekly videos on amazing and little-known facts are eagerly anticipated by his many subscribers and followers around the world. In his first-ever book, Matthew's love of weird and wacky knowledge explodes with new facts and stories from around the planet, and beyond. Surprising, and always entertaining, Mind = Blown offers even more of Matthew's unique take on this hilarious, crazy world:  The most ridiculous laws from past and presentCrazy doppelgangers of people, places, and unexpected thingsHistorical wizards who actually livedReal-life animal avengersAnd a special section: Japan Blows My Mind!From shin-kicking competitions and beer pong-playing robots, to enormous fire-balls shooting through space, you won't believe what you'll discover in Mind = Blown. But beware: there is too much astounding trivia for any one mind to contain!

An Underground Education: The Unauthorized and Outrageous Supplement to Everything You Thought You Knew About Art, Sex, Business, Crime, Science, Medicine, and Other Fields of Human Knowledge


Richard Zacks - 1997
    Described on the book jacket as an "autodidact extraordinaire," Zacks is also the author of History Laid Bare, making him something of an expert guide through history's back alleys and side streets. There's no fact too seamy or perverse for Zacks to drag out into the light of day, from matters scatological and sexual to some of history's most truly bizarre episodes. Curious about ancient nose-blowing etiquette? What about the sexual proclivities of Catherine the Great? Throughout chapters such as "The Evolution of Underwear" and "Dentistry Before Novocaine," Zacks proves a tireless debunker of popular myths as well as a muckraker par excellence.

101 Unuseless Japanese Inventions


Kenji Kawakami - 1995
    A collection of the author's most imaginative Chindohgu, otherwise known as unuseless ideas, includes the bath body suit and the walk 'n' wash ankle-attachable laundry tank.

The Pun Also Rises: How the Humble Pun Revolutionized Language, Changed History, and Made Wordplay More Than Some Antics


John Pollack - 2011
    But this attitude is a relatively recent development in the sweep of history. In The Pun Also Rises, John Pollack — a former Presidential Speechwriter for Bill Clinton, and winner of the world pun championship — explains how punning revolutionized language and made possible the rise of modern civilization. Integrating evidence from history, pop culture, literature, comedy, science, business and everyday life, this book will make readers reconsider everything they think they know about puns.

Tall Tales and Wee Stories: The Best of Billy Connolly


Billy Connolly - 2019
    It had been an extraordinary career. When he first started out in the late sixties, Billy played the banjo in the folk clubs of Scotland. Between songs, he would improvise a bit, telling anecdotes from the Clyde shipyard where he'd worked. In the process, he made all kinds of discoveries about what audiences found funny, from his own brilliant mimes to the power of speaking irreverently about politics or explicitly about sex. He began to understand the craft of great storytelling. Soon the songs became shorter and the monologues longer, and Billy quickly became recognised as one of the most exciting comedians of his generation.Billy's routines always felt spontaneous. He never wrote scripts, always creating his comedy freshly on stage in the presence of a live audience. A brilliant comic story might be subsequently discarded, adapted or embellished. A quick observation or short anecdote one night, could become a twenty-minute segment by the next night of a tour.Billy always brought a beautiful sense of the absurd to his shows as he riffed on his family, hecklers, swimming in the North Sea or naked bungee jumping. But his comedy can be laced with anger too. He hates pretentiousness and calls out hypocrisy wherever he sees it. His insights about the human condition have shocked many people, while his unique talent and startling appearance on stage gave him license to say anything he damn well pleased about sex, politics or religion. Billy got away with it because he has always had the popular touch. His comedy spans generations and different social tribes in a way that few others have ever managed. Tall Tales and Wee Stories brings together the very best of Billy's storytelling for the first time and includes his most famous routines including, The Last Supper, Jojoba Shampoo, Incontinence Pants and Shouting at Wildebeest. With an introduction and original illustrations by Billy throughout, it is an inspirational, energetic and riotously funny read, and a fitting celebration of our greatest ever comedian.

Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes: A No-Bullshit Guide to World Mythology


Cory O'Brien - 2013
    In reality, mythology is more screwed up than a schizophrenic shaman doing hits of unidentified. Wait, it all makes sense now. In Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes, Cory O’Brien, creator of Myths RETOLD!, sets the stories straight. These are rude, crude, totally sacred texts told the way they were meant to be told: loudly, and with lots of four-letter words. Skeptical? Here are just a few gems to consider: � Zeus once stuffed an unborn fetus inside his thigh to save its life after he exploded its mother by being too good in bed. � The entire Egyptian universe was saved because Sekhmet just got too hammered to keep murdering everyone. � The Hindu universe is run by a married couple who only stop murdering in order to throw sweet dance parties…on the corpses of their enemies. � The Norse goddess Freyja once consented to a four-dwarf gangbang in exchange for one shiny necklace. And there’s more dysfunctional goodness where that came from.

Why Don't Woodpeckers Get Headaches?: And Other Bird Questions You Know You Want to Ask


Mike O'Connor - 2007
    Since that time he has answered thousands of questions about birds, both at his store and while walking down the aisles of the supermarket. The questions have ranged from inquiries about individual species ("Are flamingos really real?") to what and when to feed birds ("Should I bring in my feeders for the summer?") to the down-and-dirty specifics of backyard birding ("Why are the birds dropping poop in my pool?"). Answering the questions has been easy; keeping a straight face has been hard.Why Don't Woodpeckers Get Headaches? is the solution for the beginning birder who already has a book that explains the slight variation between Common Ground-Doves and Ruddy Ground-Doves but who is really much more interested in why birds sing at 4:30 A.M. instead of 7:00 A.M., or whether it's okay to feed bread to birds, or how birds rediscover your feeders so quickly when you've just filled them after a long vacation. Or, for that matter, whether flamingos are really real.

Brief Histories of Everyday Objects


Andy Warner - 2016
    Chapters are peppered with ballpoint pen riots, cowboy wars, and really bad Victorian practical jokes. Structured around the different locations in our home and daily life—the kitchen, the bathroom, the office, and the grocery store—award-nominated illustrator Andy Warner traces the often surprising and sometimes complex histories behind the items we often take for granted. Readers learn how Velcro was created after a Swiss engineer took his dog for a walk; how a naval engineer invented the Slinky; a German housewife, the coffee filter; and a radical feminist and anti-capitalist, the game Monopoly. This is both a book of histories and a book about histories. It explores how lies become legends, trade routes spring up, and empires rise and fall—all from the perspective of your toothbrush or toilet.

Wreck This Journal


Keri Smith - 2007
    Acclaimed illustrator Keri Smith encourages journalers to engage in "destructive" acts-poking holes through pages, adding photos and defacing them, painting with coffee, and more-in order to experience the true creative process. Readers discover a new way of art and journal making-and new ways to escape the fear of the blank page and fully engage in the creative process.

The Book of the Year 2019


James Harkin - 2019
    Find out why every single French MP received camembert in the post. And get to the bottom of all the improvements made to the Ford company’s robotic bum. All this and much, much more, including the news that:· Two tourists planning to visit the Norwegian village of Å, ended up 1,310km away, in Aa.· Five guys were arrested at a branch of Five Guys.· Hollyoaks was partly written by the British government.· The US town of Hell froze over.From Assange to Zuckerberg, taking in Cardi B, CCTV, D-Day, and eSports, The Book of the Year is the only book you need to make senseof the year, no matter how senseless it might have seemed.

I'm Not Really Here


Tim Allen - 1996
    Now, in I’m Not Really Here, he takes a look at men in midlife—and their relationship to wives, children, friends, the universe, God, and why it’s so tough to get a good night’s sleep.The book opens with Tim suddenly waking from a strange dream. He’s been reading late into the night about today’s hot scientific topic—quantum physics—and what he’s learned about the nature of reality really disturbs him. Fortunately, he’s got plenty of time to mull it over. Tim’s wife and daughter are going away on a camping trip, and Tim is left at home with their dog, Spot. At first, he’s excited at the opportunity to eat what he wants (bologna and potato chip sandwiches), watch the sci-fi videos he loves, and finish the 1946 Ford he’s been restoring so he can deliver it to a car show on Monday. Unfortunately, he can’t find the final part: a one-of-a-kind hood ornament. He encounters very strange coincidences, meets people he doesn’t know who seem to know too much about him, and wonders if his life is half full or half empty.As he roams from room to room, Tim ponders how we wind up sounding like our parents when we raise our own children (“Don’t stir your ice cream into soup!”), men’s fascination with pricey gadgets (“Does this drill bit set really cost $89,000?”), and how romantic “chemistry” really works (“It’s all based on salt”). He describes his own rise to celebrity and what it’s like to buy groceries without wearing a mask. He explores the allure of hot cars, the temptation of fast-food chain prizes which seem to be getting bigger ad bigger all the time (“I’ll have the happy meal and the Harley, please”), and his obsession with his place in the cosmos.I’m Not Really Here deals, in the Toolman’s inimitable way, with some of the urgent questions a man faces at midlife, from “What is real?” to what should he eat for breakfast (“The gummy cinnamon buns or the cereal no one can pronounce? Moose lips. Mouse licks”). This book is a culmination of a five-year journey of self-discovery. It will surprise and challenge, make you wonder and think, and induce laughter on every page.