Book picks similar to
Tell Me No Lies: How to Face the Truth and Build a Loving Marriage by Ellyn Bader
psychology
couples
self-improvement
relationships
How to Be a Person in the World: Ask Polly's Guide Through the Paradoxes of Modern Life
Heather Havrilesky - 2016
Whether she’s responding to cheaters or loners, lovers or haters, the depressed or the down-and-out, Havrilesky writes with equal parts grace, humor, and compassion to remind you that even in your darkest moments you’re not alone.
The Soul of Shame: Retelling the Stories We Believe about Ourselves
Curt Thompson - 2015
Its name is shame.Whether we realize it or not, shame affects every aspect of our personal lives and vocational endeavors. It seeks to destroy our identity in Christ, replacing it with a damaged version of ourselves that results in unhealed pain and brokenness. But God is telling a different story for your life.Psychiatrist Curt Thompson unpacks the soul of shame, revealing its ubiquitous nature and neurobiological roots. He also provides the theological and practical tools necessary to dismantle shame, based on years of researching its damaging effects and counseling people to overcome those wounds.Thompson's expertise and compassion will help you identify your own pains and struggles and find freedom from the lifelong negative messages that bind you. Rewrite the story of your life and embrace healing and wholeness as you discover and defeat shame's insidious agenda.
Exaholics: Breaking Your Addiction to an Ex Love
Lisa Marie Bobby - 2016
Up till now, people recovering from other problems were able to get real help—like AA and rehab—while those struggling in the aftermath of traumatic breaks dealt with platitudes and friends insisting they should "get over it already." But now Exaholics Anonymous treats getting over an ex like kicking a chemical habit. Written by counselor and therapist Dr. Lisa Bobby, Exaholics offers meaningful support and advice to anyone trapped in the obsessive pain of a broken, or dying, attachment. She helps the brokenhearted heal, showing them, on a deep level, how to develop a conceptual framework for their experience, understand the emotional processes at work inside themselves, find the path to recovery, and free themselves of shame, injured ego, and remorse. In-depth case studies of others' journeys will illuminate the way to future happiness.
Courage Is Calling: Fortune Favors the Brave
Ryan Holiday - 2021
Now, in the first book of an exciting new series on the cardinal virtues of ancient philosophy, Holiday explores the most foundational virtue of all: Courage.Almost every religion, spiritual practice, philosophy and person grapples with fear. The most repeated phrase in the Bible is "Be not afraid." The ancient Greeks spoke of phobos, panic and terror. It is natural to feel fear, the Stoics believed, but it cannot rule you. Courage, then, is the ability to rise above fear, to do what's right, to do what's needed, to do what is true. And so it rests at the heart of the works of Marcus Aurelius, Aristotle, and CS Lewis, alongside temperance, justice, and wisdom.In Courage Is Calling, Ryan Holiday breaks down the elements of fear, an expression of cowardice, the elements of courage, an expression of bravery, and lastly, the elements of heroism, an expression of valor. Through engaging stories about historic and contemporary leaders, including Charles De Gaulle, Florence Nightingale, and Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., Holiday shows you how to conquer fear and practice courage in your daily life.You'll also delve deep into the moral dilemmas and courageous acts of lesser-known, but equally as important, figures from ancient and modern history, such as Helvidius Priscus, a Roman Senator who stood his ground against emperor Vespasian, even in the face of death; Frank Serpico, a former New York City Police Department Detective who exposed police corruption; and Frederick Douglass and a slave named Nelly, whose fierce resistance against her captors inspired his own crusade to end slavery.In a world in which fear runs rampant--when people would rather stand on the sidelines than speak out against injustice, go along with convention than bet on themselves, and turn a blind eye to the ugly realities of modern life--we need courage more than ever. We need the courage of whistleblowers and risk takers. We need the courage of activists and adventurers. We need the courage of writers who speak the truth--and the courage of leaders to listen.We need you to step into the arena and fight.
Radical Compassion: Learning to Love Yourself and Your World with the Practice of RAIN
Tara Brach - 2019
Each step in the meditation practice (Recognize, Allow, Investigate, Nurture) is brought to life by memorable stories shared by Tara and her students as they deal with feelings of overwhelm, loss, and self-aversion, with painful relationships, and past trauma--and as they discover step-by-step the sources of love, forgiveness, compassion, and deep wisdom alive within all of us.
Hurt People Hurt People
Sandra D. Wilson - 1993
And they do so, the author tells us, because of the seemingly inescapable pain in their own lives.In Hurt People Hurt People, Dr. Sandra Wilson brings her years as a professional counselor to bear on a difficult topic that affects many of us.Let her warmth and insight lead you toward a heart of compassion and a ministry of healing for those who hurt others.
The Self-Sabotage Cycle: Why We Repeat Behaviors That Create Hardships and Ruin Relationships
Stanley Rosner - 2006
Yet, 30 years later, the boy now a man leaves his own family. A young woman who's broken off an abusive relationship is now attracted to the same kind of personality in a potential boyfriend. And an attorney who grew up with an impossible-to-please father takes a job in a firm where the boss thinks praise is never productive. These are the kind of repetitive cycles that Stanley Rosner has seen time and again in his practice across 40 years as a clinical psychologist. A past president of the Connecticut Psychological Association, Rosner examines in this book whether there is for some people a compulsion to repeat self-destructive acts, and what the foundation for that compulsion might be, as well as how it can be changed to afford better, happier living.Assisted by popular author Patricia Hermes, Rosner offers many eye-opening vignettes from his therapy rooms, showing us clearly how early life events can create unconscious dilemmas that move us to repeat the situation in other forms. He aims to show us how we can resolve the issues that linger, explaining how to recognize these issues, then move forward to put them to rest in ways that are not self-sabotaging. What I have to offer, says Rosner, is the opportunity for change.
Forgive for Love: The Missing Ingredient for a Healthy and Lasting Relationship
Fred Luskin - 2007
The problem hasn't gone unnoticed. From relationship therapists to speed-dating, self-help books to online matchmaking, an entire industry has developed to help us navigate the bumpy road of relationships. Yet in spite of the availability of all these resources, many of us still struggle to discover and keep the love of our lives. That is, until now.This groundbreaking book from the frontiers of psychology offers startling new research about the one missing factor that is vital to relationships—forgiveness. A national bestselling author and leading expert on forgiveness, Dr. Fred Luskin shows that no matter how much two people may love each other, their relationship will not succeed unless they practice forgiveness—an approach that most relationship experts continue to ignore.Why is forgiveness an essential tool for relationships? Studies reveal that 70 percent for what we argue about at the beginning of our relationships will never be fully resolved. In other words, our basic needs and behaviors don't change over time. The issues are endless: the socks that always end up on the floor, how often to have sex, the ESPN obsession, working hours, and, of course, friends and family. Without forgiveness, these issues, however big or small, too easily turn into relationship-eroding grudges.Forgive for Love is the solution for your relationship woes, providing the tools you need to find and hold onto the love of your life. Dr. Luskin delivers a proven seven-step program for creating and maintaining loving and lasting relationships, teaching easy-to-learn forgiveness skills that will not only resolve immediate conflicts but improve the overall happiness and longevity of your relationships. Simply put: people in healthy relationships figure out how to forgive their partners for being themselves. They do so because it is nearly impossible to change other people and because none of us are perfect. Forgiveness is the key, and Forgive for Love has the answers.
The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma
Bessel van der Kolk - 2014
Veterans and their families deal with the painful aftermath of combat; one in five Americans has been molested; one in four grew up with alcoholics; one in three couples have engaged in physical violence. Such experiences inevitably leave traces on minds, emotions, and even on biology. Sadly, trauma sufferers frequently pass on their stress to their partners and children. Renowned trauma expert Bessel van der Kolk has spent over three decades working with survivors. In The Body Keeps the Score, he transforms our understanding of traumatic stress, revealing how it literally rearranges the brain’s wiring—specifically areas dedicated to pleasure, engagement, control, and trust. He shows how these areas can be reactivated through innovative treatments including neurofeedback, mindfulness techniques, play, yoga, and other therapies. Based on Dr. van der Kolk’s own research and that of other leading specialists, The Body Keeps the Score offers proven alternatives to drugs and talk therapy—and a way to reclaim lives.
Childhood Disrupted: How Your Biography Becomes Your Biology, and How You Can Heal
Donna Jackson Nakazawa - 2015
Childhood Interrupted also explains how to cope with these emotional traumas and even heal from them.Your biography becomes your biology. The emotional trauma we suffer as children not only shapes our emotional lives as adults, it also affects our physical health, longevity, and overall well-being. Scientists now know on a bio-chemical level exactly how parents, chronic fights, divorce, death in the family, being bullied or hazed, and growing up with a hypercritical, alcoholic, or mentally ill parent can leave permanent, physical fingerprints on our brains.When we as children encounter sudden or chronic adversity, excessive stress hormones cause powerful changes in the body, altering our body chemistry. The developing immune system and brain react to this chemical barrage by permanently re-setting our stress response to high, which in turn can have a devastating impact on our mental and physical health.Donna Jackson Nakazawa shares stories from people who have recognized and overcome their adverse experiences, shows why some children are more immune to stress than others, and explains why women are at particular risk. Groundbreaking in its research, inspiring in its clarity, Childhood Interrupted explains how you can reset your biology and help your loved ones find ways to heal.
Life's a Campaign: What Politics Has Taught Me about Friendship, Rivalry, Reputation, and Success
Chris Matthews - 2007
"Life's a Campaign "is like no other book on success. Famous for demanding the truth from his "Hardball" guests, Chris Matthews now reveals what the people running this country rarely confess: the secrets of how they got to the top. Here is the first book on power with insight snatched from those who wield it. "Life's a Campaign" exposes the tactics, tricks, and truths that help people get ahead-and can help you, too, whatever your field of ambition. Written in the assertive, good-natured style that is Matthews's trademark, " Life's a Campaign" is the most useful kind of investigative reporting. You'll benefit from his insider's scrutiny of the Congress, the White House, and the national news media. Here are the methods, showcased in fascinating anecdotes and case histories, that presidents, senators, and other powerful people use to persuade others and win-and the" "life lessons they provide for the rest of us. You'll learn about Bill Clinton's laser-focused ability to" "listen to those he wants to seduce-and how he's been teaching that craft to his wife, Hillary; how Ronald Reagan employed his basic optimism to win history to his side; the simple steps in" "human diplomacy that the first President Bush exploited to assemble a worldwide posse to attack Saddam Hussein and gain global approval in a way his son has failed to do; how Nancy Pelosi became the first woman Speaker of the House by practicing the most fundamental of human qualities: hardnosed loyalty. You'll also find out, for the first time, about Matthews's own wild ride through the turbulent, converging rapids of politics and journalism. The big payoff in" Life's a Campaign "is what you'll learn about human nature: - People would rather" "be listened to than listen.- People don't mind being used; what they mind is being discarded. - People are more loyal to the people they've helped than the people they've helped are loyal to them.- Not everyone's going to like you. - No matter what anybody says, nobody wants a level playing field. Knowing such truths is the successful person's number one advantage in life. As you'll learn in" Life's a Campaign, "mastering-and employing-these truths separates the leaders from the followers.
Wife for Life: The Power to Succeed in Marriage
Ramona Zabriskie - 2013
Written in a warm, feminine tone, this book masterfully interlaces authoritative voices with personal stories from the author’s 35 year marriage and her motivational speaking and mentoring career. Nearly divorced two years after her own wedding, the author has become an advocate and exemplar of marital success for women who want to believe. Her compassion and know-how, uniquely presented in three parts: “Why You Both Want a Grand, Lifelong Marriage”, “How to Avoid Becoming a Dream Breaker”, and “What to Do to Make Dreams Come True”, is proving transformative. Inspired by new perspective, women from every stage of life and marital status are gaining the skills, confidence, and long-range vision needed to affect their own happiness as well as the ultimate outcome of their marriage. Wife for Life has helped women turn troubled marriages around, transform good marriages into great ones, and grow great marriages into “grand empires of love” that can last forever.
Nurturing the Soul of Your Family: 10 Ways to Reconnect and Find Peace in Everyday Life
Renée Peterson Trudeau - 2013
It offers nurturing support and practical ideas to guide you toward a new way of being. Enjoyable, down-to-earth, and empowering, Renée Peterson Trudeau’s ten paths to peace will help you learn how to:* find your center and move through chaos and uncertainty with renewed strength and ease* live every day aligned with your values and what matters most* slow down, tap the wisdom of your wise self, and know what’s best for you and your family* release old habits, fears, and anxieties as you explore a new way of being* access more joy by living in the present moment (the best antidote to stress!)* experience more freedom and unscheduled time
Will Our Love Last?: A Couple's Road Map
Sam R. Hamburg - 2000
In this unconventional guide, Sam R. Hamburg, Ph.D., explains how to eliminate the guesswork and pick the right romantic partner. Basing his findings on hundreds of cases in his twenty-five years as a marital therapist and thirty years in his own marriage, Dr. Hamburg shows that in the best unions partners are deeply compatible in all areas -- from sex to daily decision making to beliefs about life. With an innovative approach, Dr. Hamburg guides couples in understanding how compatible they are in each dimension and he empowers them to make important relationship decisions that are intellectually and emotionally informed. Written in a clear and direct style, Will Our Love Last? teaches couples at any stage of commitment how to avoid mistakes and find lasting love.
The Gift of Fear: Survival Signals That Protect Us from Violence
Gavin de Becker - 1996
The new nanny gives a mother an uneasy feeling. A stranger in a deserted parking lot offers unsolicited help. The threat of violence surrounds us every day. But we can protect ourselves, by learning to trust—and act on—our gut instincts.In this empowering book, Gavin de Becker, the man Oprah Winfrey calls the nation's leading expert on violent behavior, shows you how to spot even subtle signs of danger—before it's too late. Shattering the myth that most violent acts are unpredictable, de Becker, whose clients include top Hollywood stars and government agencies, offers specific ways to protect yourself and those you love, including how to act when approached by a stranger, when you should fear someone close to you, what to do if you are being stalked, how to uncover the source of anonymous threats or phone calls, the biggest mistake you can make with a threatening person, and more. Learn to spot the danger signals others miss. It might just save your life.