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Drinking Habits by Tom Smith


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Compleat Female Stage Beauty


Jeffrey Hatcher - 2006
    A celebrity artist shining bright at the crest of the Restoration Ned, or Mr. K as he's called, is applauded onstage and off for his interpretations of Shakespeare's tragic ladies: Ophelia, Cleopatra, especially his Desdemona and his famous "death scene". He s the toast of the town and the very secret "mistress" of the powerful Duke of Buckingham. But when an unknown named Margaret Hughes plays Desdemona one night at an illegal theater, instead of stopping the show, the ever-game King Charles II changes the law to allow women to act. By the stroke of a pen, Kynaston's world is turned upside-down. He loses his cachet, his livelihood, his lover and his sense of self. And as such women as the king's own courtesan Nell Gwynn, and Kynaston s former dresser Maria, become stars, his own light disappears until fate and his desire for revenge give him a chance to take the stage again.

Noises Off


Michael Frayn - 1982
    The two begin to interlock as the characters make their exits from Nothing On only to find themselves making entrances into the even worse nightmare going on backstage. In the end, at the disastrous final performance, the two plots can be kept separate no longer, and coalesce into a single collective nervous breakdown.

The Galactic Peace Committee


L.G. Estrella - 2016
    In another universe, humanity is overrun by monsters so evil that their very presence dims the light of the stars. In yet another universe, humanity is drawn into an endless battle for dominion over the galaxy. This is not one of those universes. In this universe, humanity is in charge of the Galactic Peace Committee. In theory, the Committee is an unmatched force for good, bringing peace and prosperity to countless worlds and ensuring that conflicts between different races are settled with words and not planet-cracking weaponry or super plagues designed to turn everyone into goo. In theory. Jake Smith is a diplomat. He works for the Committee. This is his story – and it goes about as well as you’d expect. In other words, it doesn’t go very well at all. Can Jake survive petty aliens? Sure. He’s a diplomat. It’s all part of the job. What about angry aliens? Probably. He does have a killer robot for a secretary, and he’s not bad with a shock staff. How about a fleet of aliens out for blood? That… that might be a little bit trickier. The Galactic Peace Committee… keeping peace (sort of) throughout the galaxy.

Jessica Christ Volume 1: The Early Years


H. Claire Taylor - 2017
    Lord help her… NOTE: This volume contains the first three books of the Jessica Christ series, including ... Book 1: The BeginningBook 2: And It Was GoodBook 3: It's a Miracle!*Plus* the first chapter of Book 4: Nu Alpha Omega The Beginning Jessica McCloud knows first-hand that it’s tough to fit in when you’re God’s only begotten daughter. While she has the power to smite, and she’s privy to most of the juicy gossip in her West Texas town, nobody is knocking on her door with frankincense and myrrh. The Messiah-in-the-making still has to contend with algebra tests, her first crush, and menstrual cramps with the power to spark lightning storms…As if dealing with her overbearing Father and a scheming preacher wasn’t enough, Jessica must face down the demons that lurk around every corner. No matter what she wants from life, everything seems to lead to a final showdown with the devil. The daughter of God has a choice: face the destiny thrust upon her or find some way to forge her own path…And It Was GoodAs she enters the uncharted territory of high school, Jessica McCloud could use a few more friends who believe in her. Of course, that means something entirely different for the daughter of God. After her two-millennia-dead half-brother visits her in a dream and tells her it’s time for her to stop messing around, Jessica begins the hunt to discover what miracles she can perform. And if one of them happens to win the heart of her long-time crush, Greg, then so be it. But when a reporter with a grudge against God catches wind of her first miracle, Jessica stumbles her way through one scandal after another until she wonders if the world wouldn’t be a much happier place with no miracles at all. It's a Miracle! Miracles happen when you least expect them. And if you’re Jessica McCloud, God’s only begotten daughter, they happen when you least want them. Is an uneventful senior year of high school too much for Jessica to hope for?Yes. Yes it is.Instead of focusing on college applications, Jessica must juggle Jimmy’s newest scheme, Eugene’s latest slander, and a gruesome (unpaid) internship at Midland Memorial Hospital. And just when she’s starting to get the hang of it, a serious PR blunder ignites a firestorm of brand new accusations. It would take nothing short of a miracle for Jessica to come out on top this round, and she isn’t holding her breath…

101+ Knock Knock Jokes for Kids)


Arnie Lightning - 2014
    Kids love jokes! Jokes can aid in story-telling, create laughs, and help with conversation and social skills. Your child will love this hilarious joke book full of clean knock knock jokes for children. Kindle Unlimited and Amazon Prime Members can read this book for FREE! Kids and children can practice their reading and joke telling skills with these funny knock knock jokes. With silly jokes and hilarious laughs, beginning and early readers can enjoy hours of fun and entertainment. This book is especially great for traveling, waiting rooms, and reading aloud at home. 101+ funny knock knock jokes Excellent for early and beginning readers Hours of fun and entertainment for your child Great for long trips, waiting rooms, and reading aloud Funny jokes from this book... Knock knock!Who’s there?Icy!Icy who?Icy you! Open this door! HAHA! Knock knock!Who’s there?Alfred!Alfred who?Alfred the dark! Open the door! LOL! Knock knock!Who’s there?Juno!Juno who?Juno how long I’ve been waiting out here? HAHA! Knock knock!Who’s there?Athena!Athena who?Athena funny movie the other day! LOL! Funny Knock Knock Jokes for Kids! (Clean Jokes for Children) This funny joke book is full of hilarious knock knock jokes that will have you laughing for hours! This is one of the best joke collections in the world. These jokes about food will give you a case of the giggles. These funny jokes are excellent for kids, children, teens, and adults. Early and beginner readers can practice reading aloud and learning. Best-Selling Children's Book Author, Arnie Lightning Arnie Lightning is a best-selling children's book author with a straightforward goal. He wants his work to create a positive impact in the lives of others through children's books. Learning morals, lessons, and good character can start at a young age. Arnie's books reflect this. By providing a comfortable and entertaining environment, learning can be a fun activity! Scroll up and click 'buy' to get these funny jokes! 100% Money Back Guarantee Tags: funny jokes for kids, jokes, knock knock, knock knock joke, knock knock jokes, knock knock jokes for kids, knock knock jokes for children, funny joke, funny jokes, lol, jokes, joke books, books, jokes book, ebook, kids books, funny, ebooks, funny jokes, kids, haha, hilarious, children, joke, kid, funny jokes for children, kids books, childrens books, childrens book, kids book, joke books, books for kids, childrens book, kids books, funny, funny jokes, funny book, joke book, funny book, joke books, hilarious, funny free joke book, book about food, kindle book, kindle ebook, comedy, book for kids, humor, early reader, beginning reader, preschool, ages 5-12, ages 6-8, ages 9-12, preteen, laugh, laughter, funniest jokes, laughin

Kick the Bucket


Alex A. King - 2020
    In the space of a single horrendous day, Merry’s boss kicks her out to pasture, her husband ditches her for a barely legal floozy, and she decides to end it all. (But she doesn’t have cancer, no matter what her doctor says, so at least she’s got that going for her.)Determined to hurl herself into an early grave, Merry flies home to Greece for one last hurrah. But Greece has other plans for Merry, and before long she enthusiastically decides to give living one more shot.Too bad she no longer has any say in the matter.

El gato que encontró a Dios


Robert Fisher - 2003
    The first change will be in his diet, and from now on puss is obliged to eat vegetables instead of his beloved cat food. But things get complicated and, unwittingly, Marmalade ends up in India in the Ashram of a well-known guru together with his companion in misfortune Fluffy the pussycat. After many adventures they return to their native land after being abducted by a UFO and end up triumphing on the small screen, because, as the authors conclude, "If you like happy endings, this is the book for you"

The Year of Saying Yes Part 2: A Dare to Remember: The hilarious rom-com everyone's talking about


Hannah Doyle - 2017
    Hannah Doyle's THE YEAR OF SAYING YES will make you dirty-laugh, feel warm and fuzzy, and rediscover life's magic - all thanks to one little word: yes. Fans of Lindsey Kelk, Mhairi McFarlane and Lucy-Anne Holmes, you're in for a real treat.The second of four exclusive part-serialisations of THE YEAR OF SAYING YES by Hannah Doyle. Izzy's one-in-a-million story continues...Dear ReadersWelcome back! It's Izzy (or should I say New Izzy) reporting for duty. It's time for Part Two of my 'Year of Saying Yes'.Thanks to your amazing challenges and fabulous feedback, I've been up to all sorts over the past few months. Drumroll please...- I asked a total stranger for his number (what can I say, he was hot and wearing a pirate's hat)- I modelled for a life drawing class (yes, starkers!)- And somehow I performed on the Pyramid Stage at Glastonbury *gulp*All this gallivanting around means that the new, improved me is in full flow. And guess what? For the first time in forever I have an actual LOVE LIFE, with a real-life man! But in between the fun and frolics there's been a whole lot of #drama.Buckle up, guys, we're in for a bumpy ride...LoveIzzy xDon't miss the next dose of THE YEAR OF SAYING YES! In Part 3 Izzy faces her fears, becomes a culinary queen and reconnects with her frenemy.

A Savage Set My Soul On Fire


Nola Jewels - 2019
    The abuse she’s experienced from her mother and step dad has left her sheltered and guarded. Her only motivation is to one day escape the darkness that surrounds her. Her vision is clear: work hard, get an education and walk away from the house of horrors for good. When the opportunity to get more money comes her way she jumps at the chance. Money is now her goal and the path she’s taking to get it will lead her down the road to an unexpected future. 
The Hampton brothers Za’Shon ‘Fire’, Jaivon, and Tyree are running things in Atlanta. Of the trio, Fire’s the most arrogant and the only one willing to do anything to take his family to the next level. His focus was on one thing building his empire and making more money. That is until he meets Lacye. He falls fast for her. 
Lacye has never met someone like Fire. His arrogance and bluntness takes her by surprise. But it’s also the thing she falls in love with. He believes he’s found the perfect woman who’s beautiful, smart, and innocent. Their romance goes fast but the secrets she’s been holding comes out. His lifestyle and her secrets crash together making the perfect storm. It leaves a path of destruction and hurt. They both find themselves losing everything they’ve worked so hard for. Za’Shon won’t allow his world to come crashing down and he won’t lose Lacye. The savage in him won’t let her go but the cost of loving her threatens to bring down him and his brothers. His recklessness creates havoc and starts a war that threatens to take everything and everyone away from him. But that’s what happens when you set Fire to Lacye.

BIG HAIR AND FLYING COWS


Dolores Wilson - 2014
    To say the least. She calls Sweet Meadow, Georgia, home, where she works for her father doing auto repairs. She also drives the tow-truck, although Sweet Meadow's rather colorful denizens tend to treat Bertie more like the local, free taxi service. You know, someone has to get to a doctor's appointment or pick something up at the dry cleaners. Bertie's favorite day of the week is Friday, when she leaves the wrecker with her father for the whole weekend and joins her friends at the Dew Drop Inn for a night of dancing. Her best friend, Mary Lou, sometimes fixes her up with dubious dates, although Bertie has to remind her friend not to tease her hair too high for those occasions. Like the time when they went to Carrie Sue's open house, and a ceramic cow with angel wings hanging from a ceiling fan locked its hooves into Bertie's big hair and refused to let go. She had to wear it all night, dangling chain and all. Bertie's nearly perfect life is about to take a downhill turn, however. It starts when her landlord, Pete, currently a resident in a nearby nursing home, starts showing up at her house. In his birthday suit. A very badly wrinkled birthday suit. And then she goes to her mailbox, a rubber large mouth bass, and finds a notice from the zoning commission saying she can no longer park the wrecker in her driveway. The notice is signed by George Bigham. But when she goes to the courthouse to take care of her little problem, it is only to discover George Bigham is deceased. And Mary Lou's pregnancy test just came up positive. Can it get any worse? In a word... yes.

The Fake Bride Rescue


Jo Grafford - 2020
    Folks tend to expect a little more action in the romance department from a former star linebacker and an ex party machine. But a decade in the Special Forces followed by career in fire rescue operations hasn’t left him much time to play Romeo. So he does the unthinkable — he hires an actress to pose as his bride for the weekend. Serena Chandler is supposed to be working on her doctoral dissertation, not filling in for her bestie’s slightly scandalous rent-a-date service. However, her short-term “husband” seems like a perfect gentleman, so she relaxes and decides to enjoy their weekend trip together while keeping things strictly professional between them. He’s made it clear he’s a no strings attached kind of man, and that’s fine with her. Their carefully negotiated agreement works right up to the point when a fire breaks out at his alma mater, and she becomes trapped in the gym. Watching the ripped and ready Ransom take charge in a daring rescue operation, however, makes all her best-laid plans go up in smoke. She finds herself scheming with her Mensa-level I.Q. for a way to turn their fake marriage into a real one. If they survive the fire, of course! Step into the world of Disaster City Search and Rescue, where officers, firefighters, military, and medics, train and work alongside each other with the dogs they love, to do the most dangerous job of all — help lost and injured victims find their way home.

Three Plays: Once in a Lifetime / You Can't Take it With You / The Man Who Came to Dinner


George S. Kaufman - 1980
    "Once in a Lifetime" is a satire about three small-time vaudevillians who set out for Hollywood as films move from silents into sound.The 1936 Pulitzer Prize winner "You Can’t Take It With You" is about a zany family of hobby-horse enthusiasts. For thirty-five years Grandpa has done nothing but hunt snakes, throw darts, and avoid income-tax payments; his son-in-law makes fireworks in the basement, and other assorted family members write plays, operate amateur printing presses, and play the xylophone. They live in playful eccentricity until daughter Alice brings home her Wall Street boyfriend."The Man Who Came to Dinner" (1939) became a long-running hit. It portrays an eminent lecturer (based on Alec Woollcott) who accepts a dinner invite in a small Ohio town, slips on the ice outside his hosts’ home, and is forced to their sickbed. Convalescing he turns the house into bedlam with his wacky friends and diabolic pranks.Also included in this volume are “Men at Work” and “Forked Lightning,” two essays Kaufman and Hart wrote about each other.

Boom


Jean Tay - 2009
    Boom tells the story of an elderly woman and her property agent son in Singapore, who are struggling over the potential en bloc sale of their home. Their destinies become interwoven with that of an idealistic civil servant, Jeremiah, who is facing the greatest challenge of his career—persuading a reluctant corpse to yield its memories. Boom is a quirky yet poignant tale about the relocation of both dead and living, and how personal stories get left behind in the inexorable march of progress.Written by economist-turned-playwright Jean Tay, Boom was conceptualised at the Royal Court Theatre in London in 2007, and developed and staged by the Singapore Repertory Theatre in September 2008. It was nominated for Best Original Script for The Straits Times’ Life! Theatre Awards in 2009 and is now an O- and N-Level Literature text in Singapore schools.“Jean Tay is one of the most gifted playwrights I have come across in years.” —Gaurav Kripalani, Artistic Director, Singapore Repertory Theatre

The Boys Next Door


Tom Griffin - 1988
    Norman, who works in a doughnut shop and is unable to resist the lure of the sweet pastries, takes great pride in the huge bundle of keys that dangles from his waist; Lucien P. Smith has the mind of a five-year-old but imagines that he is able to read and comprehend the weighty books he lugs about; Arnold, the ringleader of the group, is a hyperactive, compulsive chatterer, who suffers from deep-seated insecurities and a persecution complex; while Barry, a brilliant schizophrenic who is devastated by the unfeeling rejection of his brutal father, fantasizes that he is a golf pro. Mingled with scenes from the daily lives of these four, where "little things" sometimes become momentous (and often very funny), are moments of great poignancy when, with touching effectiveness, we are reminded that the handicapped, like the rest of us, want only to love and laugh and find some meaning and purpose in the brief time that they, like their more fortunate brothers, are allotted on this earth.

The Road to Villa Page: A He Said/She Said Memoir of Buying Our Dream Home in France


Cynthia Royce - 2020
    Our story begins with falling in love with France, specifically the enchanting Dordogne. We weren’t the first and we won’t be the last. The region was an inspiration to prehistoric man, as the earliest known works of art are to be found in the nearby caves of Lascaux. From the 1000 chateaux perched on towering cliffs overhanging the meandering Dordogne River to the countless plus beaux villages (most beautiful villages) dotting the region, it is truly a magical place.The first book is a roller-coaster ride of the ups and downs of making the dream a reality, beginning with, Oh my God, are we really doing this?! To looking for the home, getting a loan, wading through the red tape of actually moving, and studying French! Finally, the most important part of making “our” dream come true, adopting a baby girl to make the journey complete.