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Turned Out by a Savage
Shameka Jones - 2017
Danger is no stranger to the heartaches of the world. After losing her adoptive mother, she almost crumbles under a domino effect of misfortune. When she meets Sleep, she thinks she’s finally found a captain to save her, but when she learns his main goal is to pimp her out, Danger wastes no time getting from under his thumb. On the run to get as far away from Sleep as possible, she lands in Dallas, where she reunites with her bestie. Free is the true definition of dangerous curves. A BBW with enough personality to steal any show, she’s quick to flash a smile that hides her own set of demons. It’s hard to be comfortable in your skin, especially when family is the main one trying to tear you down, but Free is determined to stunt on everybody that has a problem with her weight— family included. Add the kind of street smarts that make a natural born hustler, and Free is every hitta’s dream come true. Whether they can handle her is the real question. Stranger is a self-made boss in his own right, a dude whose name rings bells in the streets and commands respect even while he’s locked up. Growing up with a schizophrenic for a mother made him unbreakable, but not above the law when he gets caught slipping. Done serving his time, he only has two things on his mind: hitting the streets and getting to the money by any means necessary. After stumbling across a connect and an offer he can’t refuse, Stranger agrees to collect a blood debt in exchange for the keys to the streets. Will his decision cost him more than he’s willing to give up? Where Stranger is a silent killer, Spazz, his younger brother, leaves a path of destruction with anything he touches. Wild, rude, and reckless, he’s ready to get it poppin’ if you even look at him wrong, and there’s only one thing that can tame his temper: his five-year-old daughter. With a mouth to feed and a street legacy to claim, he’s down with no hesitation when Stranger brings him into his plan to re-claim the streets. With his brother by his side, Spazz is ready to put his city on the map. Stranger never let his heart take his focus off the money, until he meets Danger. Mesmerized by her effortless beauty, he just has to have her, but there’s one problem: she’s on the arm of the same guy he’s planning to take down. Is he willing to kill for love? Spazz always gets what he wants, and he knows Free will be his from the minute he meets her. Never being attracted to BBWs in the past, he’s powerless against Free’s hypnotizing thickness, and her confidence and slick mouth are just the type of bonus that makes her worth the chase. Will he convince Free to take a chance on a real one? Ain’t nothin’ like lovin’ a savage, and once you get inside the head of one, your life will never be the same. Take a journey with Danger, Free, Stranger, and Spazz as they try to cheat the past for the future. Nothing goes as planned in love, especially once you’re Turned out by a Savage.
Father, Son and Return to the Pennine Way
Mark Richards - 2018
Now comes the sequel… ‘Father, Son and Return to the Pennine Way’ picks up where Mark and Alex left off two years ago and sees them complete the last 100 miles of the Pennine Way. It’s a walk that tests them to their limits (well, one of them…) as they come close to exhaustion, even closer to being eaten alive and – armed only with a pair of shorts and a cup of tea – face-to-face with an assassin. …And, of course, they meet the inevitable cast of ‘characters.’ Barefoot Jimmy, Mr & Mrs Mad Eye, Lonesome Pete and ‘Theresa May.’ But there’s a serious side to the walk as well. It’s two years since they were last on the Pennine Way. They’re both two years older: how has their father/son relationship changed? Who’s really in charge this time? ‘Father, Son and the Pennine Way’ has been a consistent bestseller with over 130 5* reviews on Amazon. “My partner sent me to read in the spare room. All he could hear was me laughing! Would recommend this book to everyone, walkers or not.” ‘Return to the Pennine Way’ will make you laugh, smile and shed the occasional tear. You’ll be on the journey with Mark and Alex – and you won’t want it to end.
Mistaken Identity (Jack Dillon Dublin Tales Book 8)
Mike Faricy - 2019
Faricy takes things from there into a 'Can't put it down' tale that will have you riveted. A great read. - The Irish Gazette Two American women, Kate Betto and Megan Ganino, a redhead and a blonde, are arrested and cooperate with authorities to aid in the conviction of a pair of major drug dealers. At the conclusion of the trial, they're secretly flown back to the US to serve time. It happens to be the same day that Kate Murray and Megan Gaffney, a blonde and a redhead, arrive in Dublin to celebrate their college graduation, rent a car, and drive west. Things go terribly wrong almost immediately. US Marshal Jack Dillon and DI Paddy Suel investigate a torched rental car and quickly learn there's a lot more going on . . . and the clock is ticking! Grab your copy NOW!
SkyMaul: Happy Crap You Can Buy from a Plane
Kasper Hauser - 2006
Guaranteed. Let award-winning comedy troupe Kasper Hauser transport you into the sublime universe that is SkyMaul, where Banana-ganizers and Reality-Canceling Headphones coexist with Crack Pipe Chess Sets and Llamacycles. More than just a catalog parody, SkyMaul explodes with razor-sharp wit, boundless creativity, and a keen eye for the absurd. This smart, edgy satire will earn your laughter again and again.
Mad Dog and The Englishman (Ethereals Book 1)
Jason Greenfield - 2015
i really mean it! IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFENDED AND BELONG TO ONE OF THE FOLLOWING GROUPS, PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS BOOK: SCOTTISH, WELSH, NORTHERN IRISH, IRISH CATHOLICS, COCKNEYS, CHAVS, UPPER CLASS ENGLISH TWATS, RELIGIOUS CHRISTIANS, MUSLIMS, JEWS, HOMOSEXUALS, RESIDENTS OF WATFORD, THE ACTOR ROBERT CARLYLE, THE WORKING CLASSES, THE UNEMPLOYED PUB GOING DOLE SCROUNGERS, THE AUTHOR'S FRIEND DANIEL SKELTON, REPUBLICAN AMERICANS, SOUTHERN STATES AMERICANS, CHRISTIAN MIDWEST AMERICANS WITH TRADITIONAL VALUES, ANY AMERICAN, TRANSVESTITES, SUPPORTERS OF THE ENGLAND FOOTBALL SQUAD, IRANIANS, EX PRESIDENT OF IRAN MAHMOUD AHMADINEJAD, SYRIANS, BASHAR AL ASSAD, WAYNE ROONEY, BELGIUMS, AGATHA CHRISTIE, THE FRENCH, YAHOO MESSAGE BOARD COMMENTATORS, SOUTH AMERICAN CRIME CARTELS, PRIESTS AND REVERENDS, THE WRITER OF THIS BOOK, PALESTINIANS, ARABS IN GENERAL, OLD YIDDISH MEN, THE FICTIONAL OLLAWONGA TRIBE OF DARKEST AFRICA, THE WRITER AND READERS OF FIFTY SHADES OF GREY, THE CHINESE AND TONY BLAIR. IF YOU BELONG TO ONE OF THE FOLLOWING GROUPS WHO HAVE HAD A MORE THAN CAMEO MENTION/APPEARANCE IN THE NOVEL, PLEASE READ THE BOOK WITHOUT FEAR OF OFFENSIVE STEREOTYPING: ITALIANS. If you have got this far, then allow me to enlighten you about a secret so great that the general public has no idea about but every government in the world knows and they are involved in a consistent cover up to keep the horrors from you.. What are the Ethereals? Some say they are the personifications of iconic and stereotypical energies given life by our collective beliefs and imagination. Others say they started as humans and evolved for much the same reasons given above. Both viewpoints have a basis in truth. A decade ago one of the most fearsome of these beings 'The Englishman,' was banished from our plane of existence by a weeping Tony Blair who cut the throat of a small child in a necromantic energy ritual to do so. With such a price paid, the question has to be asked ... just how serious a threat has arisen from the Ethereal world that the British government's only option is to bring back the Englishman to save us!!!! Set in 2012 in the lead up to the US election ... welcome to the twisted world of Mad Dog and The Englishman. WARNING: The following piece of hack work contains levels of swearing, depraved activity and violent situations sufficient enough to have Jihadi John puking up his guts.
Autocorrect FAILS! Text Messaging Autocorrect Gone Horribly Wrong
THE CLOWN FACTORY - 2013
This book was brought to you by the one and only - THE CLOWN FACTORY.
Fell for the Opp: Cj and Dove's Love Story
Aubry J. - 2021
Potty Mouth (Caverns & Creatures)
Robert Bevan - 2017
Join Cooper and the rest of the C&C gang as they fight tyranny the best way they know how... by being assholes. The author's share of royalties from sales of this title are donated monthly to the ACLU. Join me in pissing in the face of tyranny.
Stinky Eddie The Monster That Farts
Kate Clary - 2014
Good for readers in grades 1-3. Tyler has a monster called Eddie! He is a perfect monster at home- he is well mannered, helps Tyler practice his soccer skills and even cleans the house. But in public, it's a different matter! Eddie farts in public and doesn't seem to think it's a big deal. Not at all! Although Tyler pleads with him to stop, Eddie won't listen. It all ends in a way Tyler couldn't have imagined!
Brother Hermitage's Christmas Gift
Howard of Warwick - 2017
William Duke of Normandy is to be crowned King of England on Christmas day 1066; and he expects presents. For reasons beyond reason the monastery of De'Ath's Dingle is invited to the ceremony and the only ones who can be let out on their own are Brother Hermitage and Wat the Weaver. But it will be a rush to get there. With only 7 days to travel over 100 miles, the pair must cross a frozen and largely lawless country if they are to make it to Westminster alive. And then there's the problem of Wat's attitude towards gifts in principle. He doesn't mind a reasonable exchange but simply giving sounds like a very poor deal. Perhaps the days of the journey will give Brother Hermitage the opportunity to breath the spirit of the season into his weaving friend. Or perhaps not. Recent reviews for Howard of Warwick continue a theme: 5* "Very funny" 5* "Another demented tale" 5* "Briiiiiliant as always."
What The Pandemic Learned From Me
Anindita Das - 2021
A journey of self-realization and renewed assessment of our lives, marked by silly anecdotes, mindless distractions, and everyday truths. This book is a humorous retelling of the author’s personal blunders and mind-boggling human behavior in general, strung together by a series of hilarious open letters. It is a modest pursuit to deliver a little relief, and diversion from the pandemic’s grim realities. It’s also an attempt to reaffirm the need for a good laugh to help deal with the doom and gloom that now surrounds our lives. Each letter picks up a relatable theme of our lockdown life – be it our obsession with baking banana bread, growing out our beards, or finding the fanciest holiday homes in Goa. What comes out, is a light and delightful offering that anyone living in this era shouldn’t miss. “A breezy read that goes well with your evening tea (like Marie Gold) or finds a permanent spot on your nightstand. A perfect picker-upper if you're feeling down, it reminded me of Bill Bryson's 'A Short History of Nearly Everything' and Hugh Prather's 'Notes to Myself'.”- Manish Bhatt, Founder/CCO August Communications“Hits a cord with everyone who has left the rat race of ‘acquiring new skills’. It is honest, straightforward, and downright hilarious. I loved the book. I found it clutter-breaking, relatable and non-preachy.” - Shilpi Agarwal, Blogger @bookgasmicSome important information:o The book is part memoir, part random lists and part mean musings.o It celebrates the ability to find humor in unexpected predicaments and life in general.o It’s a collection of letters addressed to the most unlikely of receivers, filled with pithy observations, irreverent and ruthless humor about the little idiosyncrasies of life in lockdown.o Each of these perfectly bite sized letters are wonderful accompaniments to the massive mood swings that is our reality in the times of corona.o Under no circumstance, this book is to be taken seriously, seriously.Savor this quick pick-me-up with a hot cup, a pinch of salt and a great deal of grins."
101 Knock Knock Jokes for Kids (Joke Books for Kids vol. 1)
I.P. Factly - 2013
'101 Knock Knock Jokes for Kids', a fun, funny, and often cheesy joke book. </h2><br>101 Knock Knock Jokes for Kids is a wonderful, natural way for children to improve their reading. They are able to practice their reading skills whilst enjoying themselves.<br><br>Joke books for kids have the added benefit of improving memories, and importantly, instilling confidence. Children are given a great reason to talk in front of groups and with practice are able to feel comfortable doing it.<br><br>Joke books for kids on kindle are also a fun way for a family to interact, laughing - or moaning - at the jokes.<br><br><br><h2> Reviews for IP Factly joke books: </h2><br><b> Child appropriate jokes, April 24 By A-J (Australia) </b> Amazon Verified Purchase<br>This review is from: 101 Jokes for Kids (Joke Books for Kids) (Kindle Edition)<br>Got it for my son's 10th birthday, he loved it and I love the fact it gets him reading. I personally can't comment on the content as we have just spent 4 hours on the road, many of them listening to these jokes!<br><br><b> Substitute Teachers Take Note, March 29, 2013 By Donna Galloway </b> Amazon Verified Purchase<br>This review is from: 101 Knock Knock Jokes for Kids (Joke Books for Kids) (Kindle Edition)<br>This is fun and the elementary kids that I sub like to call it up and use it for our free time or great for indoor recess. I am afraid that I will need a new set of 101's before too long, the kids are learning these!<br><br><b> Happy grandkid, March 11, 2013 By Priscilla Branham </b> Amazon Verified Purchase<br>This review is from: 101 Jokes for Kids (Joke Books for Kids) (Kindle Edition)<br>I bought this for my grand child. He loved reading it on the kindle. He was trying the jokes out on all the family members.<br><br><b> My son loves 'em., February 22, 2013 By James Leonard </b> Amazon Verified Purchase<br>This review is from: 101 Knock Knock Jokes for Kids (Joke Books for Kids) (Kindle Edition)<br>My six year old gets a kick out of these corny little knock knock jokes. It entertains him, and makes him laugh.<br><br><h2> IP Factly 'Joke Books for Kids' series includes: </h2><br>'101 Doctor Doctor Jokes for Kids'<br>'101 Elephant Jokes for Kids'<br>'101 Jokes for Kids'<br>'101 More Jokes for Kids'<br>'101 Bird Jokes for Kids'<br>'101 Creepy Crawly Jokes for Kids'<br>'101 Knock Knock Jokes for Kids'<br>'101 More Knock Knock Jokes for Kids'<br>'101 Jokes for Kids DOUBLE PACK'<br>'101 Knock Knock Jokes for Kids DOUBLE PACK'<br><br><b> Scroll up and Buy this book now - your child will love going back to it again and again.</b>
Sunflower Dog: Dancing the Flathead Shuffle
Kevin Winchester - 2020