Jeremy Clovenhoof has spent six years living the quiet life after losing his job as Lord of Hell and now he’s partying hard because it’s the school holidays. Whether it’s his increasingly complex girlfriend situation, his creative attempts at Christmas on a budget or an over-decorated tree that will take things very personally, Clovenhoof will make this a Christmas for everybody to remember. Join Clovenhoof as he continues his year-long journey to tackle the big issues in life.

    Whether this is because they haven't yet mastered the 21st century phone or because they live to embarrass you throughout all forms of communication, Text Fails from Mum, is a hilarious collection of our all time favourite texts from Mum.Please stop changing the google logo so much, I like the original one.Mum I don't change the logo. Google changes it.On my computer, you don't run the Google?If I did I wouldn't be driving a 2004 Ford.Andy, I can't find my phone. Can you call it so I can try and track it down?I don't have time to be quippy, mum. It's in your hand.What? No it's not. I've got a bag of groceries in my hand. Are you saying it's in the grocery bag? How do you know these things!?WHAT ARE YOU TEXTING ME WITH!?Never mind! I found it! Thanks!This humour gift book is the laugh out loud answer to the annual conundrum what should I get Mum for Christmas, Mother's Day and her Birthday? Text Fails From Mum is the perfect stocking filler, and a gift all the family can relate to and enjoy.

     So waste no more time, scroll up this page and order the the ebook right now.

    Faricy takes things from there into a 'Can't put it down' tale that will have you riveted. A great read. - The Irish Gazette Two American women, Kate Betto and Megan Ganino, a redhead and a blonde, are arrested and cooperate with authorities to aid in the conviction of a pair of major drug dealers. At the conclusion of the trial, they're secretly flown back to the US to serve time. It happens to be the same day that Kate Murray and Megan Gaffney, a blonde and a redhead, arrive in Dublin to celebrate their college graduation, rent a car, and drive west. Things go terribly wrong almost immediately. US Marshal Jack Dillon and DI Paddy Suel investigate a torched rental car and quickly learn there's a lot more going on . . . and the clock is ticking! Grab your copy NOW!

    Now I know why my dog likes her better. 2. I wish this were the worst thing she’d ever told me. About the book In “The Warlizard Chronicles”, Warlizard tells the tales of a misspent youth, from the story of his “dog-gasmic” ex-fiancée to the logic of serving as a German linguist in Iraq. The stories are light, fast-paced, graphic, and not remotely safe for work. You have been warned. Reader feedback: - “You tell all women that story? You should wash out your mouth!” - “I think I could listen to your stories for hours.” - “So you owe your marriage to the people who brought down the world trade center?” - “I have nothing else I can add or ask, except MORE STORIES.” - “Holy s**t. I wish I was you.” - “You slept with another man's wife and then lied to him about it, and can say with a straight face it was the right thing to do?” - “Godda***t, I spewed out laughter too loud at work, now I have to leave because everyone knows I'm not doing s**t. F*** this is hilarious, and disconcerting, at the same time.” - “He is the most interesting man in the world.” - “I feel like a failure reading these stories, they're awesome.” - “Your life experience makes me feel good. You good sir are somewhat of a new idol of mine. Nothing much you can do about that. Have a good day sir.” - “Warlizard doesn't always drink beer, but when he does, he prefers Dos Equis.” - “I just can't wrap my mind around the fact that not only a story like this exists but that a Reddit regular would be living it. And it kinda has this enthusiastic ‘and then it happened...’ moments in it that kinda style like you'd write fiction on the go.” - “This guy is either the most creative man in the world or the most interesting man in the world. Either way...”

    Yes, it is really that good.""This is going to be my 'go to book' when I've had a bad day!"Please Note: Some profanity, not for children!

    This book was brought to you by the one and only - THE CLOWN FACTORY.

    As he is still on talking terms with his dead wife, Jimmy qualifies in spades.He will travel far...to a time and place that will slowly mend his broken heart, and alter the course of his life forever.

    Of course, the 75-year-old actress and comedian has been turning out unforgettable roles for the better part of five decades, from Ernestine, the condescending telephone operator on “Laugh-In,” to Violet Newstead, the secretary in “9 to 5.” In this wide-ranging, intimate and often hilarious Kindle Singles Interview, Tomlin covers all aspects of her extraordinary life and career, turning a drab Manhattan hotel room into a one-woman show with tales of her childhood in Detroit, her early years in New York, and the origins of her classic characters.Tom Roston is a veteran journalist and author of two previous Kindle Singles Interviews, with Ted Allen and Ken Burns. Roston began his career at The Nation and Vanity Fair, before working at Premiere magazine as a senior editor. He is a frequent contributor to The New York Times and his book, I Lost It At The Video Store, a filmmakers' oral history, will be published by The Critical Press in September. He lives with his wife and their two daughters in New York City.Cover design by Adil Dara.

    A thrilling tale filled with action, adventure, intrigue and a pleasant pinch of romance the story is set primarily in Antarctica, Tasmania and on the east coast of Australia. The book follows the lives of four different people in their struggles to survive after a huge tsunami, caused by the massive Ross Shelf icesheet sliding off Antarctica and into the Southern Ocean, sweeps across the Pacific. The tsunami leaves a trail of death and destruction after which the water levels of Earth's oceans begin to rise rapidly causing cataclysmic disaster as well as massive political and social upheaval. As cities and nations are flooded the fabric of civilisation is torn as groups and individuals struggle for survival in a terrifying new world. The three parallel story lines are exciting, predictive and thought provoking. The author has degrees archaeology and history with a particular interest in the effects of the end of the last Ice Age on the humans of 8,000 B.C. He has transposed known archaeological information on rapid sea level rises onto the modern world to create an exciting, informative and relevant novel that attempts to answer the question of what would really happen to you and I if the Earth's sea levels rose more than six meters. The stories. Katherine Brown is a climatologist based on Antarctica, when the Ross Iceshelf shatters and slides into the ocean she and her team must traverse the rapidly changing Antarctic terrain to reach the relative safety of a base camp at Cape Colbeck; only a few will survive the trek through ice and mud and snow. Peter Taylor and his family survived the first wave but not the second. Alone and homeless he is forced to scavenge in flooded supermarkets for food and avoid roving gangs of bandits that quickly establish themselves as social norms disintegrate to be replaced by anarchy. He meets a mysterious and alluring woman, who, like himself, finds herself thriving in the post apocalypse world. Jeremy Jones is an archaeologist with a particular interest in Paleo- climatology. He is fired from his prestigious position at the Queensland University for predicting massive sea level rises even as his predictions, and much worse, come true. Karen Whitaker had been partying with girlfriends when the first tsunami tore through Hobart. Trapped overnight in the remains of a collapsed building, she emerged to discover a ruined city strewn with the bodies of the dead, the dying and the injured. Living in a refugee camp she does what she must to make the best of the new world.

     Ark is the Commander of the Bombardiers, the transformed soldiers working as the United Guild's army in space. Two hundred years earlier, aliens used mankind's own DNA to destroy Earth. Now, the Bombardiers hunt for the enemy aliens, destroying them wherever they are. Book One: Tyranny Ark is preparing to take over the Bombardier army. Traveling with his mentor, Tank, he discovers the Guild is committing genocide against any planet with even a hint of enemy DNA. Learning he is part of a tyrannical empire, he must decide whether to start a war against Earth. Book Two: Treason Armed with advanced weapons and ships, Ark finds out Dunk hasn't been idle. Hopelessly outnumbered, Bombardiers take on the Navigator fleet with devastating consequences. An epic space war begins. Book Three: Empire Both sides have made a mistake by forgetting their true enemy. Earth is once again under attack, but Ark is in another galaxy looking for a solution. The true face of the enemy aliens is revealed, proving they have all been taken for fools. Bombardier is an epic fight for control of the universe, filled with alien species, cool technology and politics. Also by SD Tanner Books in Bombardier Bombardier Trilogy Books in Navigator Enemy Lines Blind Sighted Killer Edge Broken Arrow Navigator Boxset (Books 1-4) The Hunter Wars series Books in Hunter Wars Eve of the Hunter Wars Heaven Meets Hell Army of Angels Gift from God Right to Rule Call to War Books in Eden Lost Trilogy Hidden Evil Dead Alive Divine Death Standalone Books Time to Die Twisted Daze Website: http://www.sdtanner.com Twitter: @SDTanner1

    He is mistaken.Abducted by aliens and whisked across the galaxy, Cal is thrown into a team of misfits and criminals, and sent on a top secret mission for the President of Space. And that's when everything starts to go very, very wrong...This box set collects the first three bestselling adventures of Cal Carver and the crew of the dread ship Shatner, by multi-award-winning author, Barry J. Hutchison: Space Team Space Team: The Wrath of Vajazzle Space Team: The Search for Splurt

    If you or someone you know is discontented, distressed, or downright disturbed, maybe the Great White North is right for you, eh. But how much do you really know about Canada? Can you do a job that Canada needs (do you play hockey, drill for oil, or make poutine?)? Can you identify the best Canadian province for your lifestyle (lots of tundra or just some tundra?)? Can you master the proper pronunciation of "sorry"? What strange wizardry is the Canadian government? Is maple syrup acceptable substitution for currency? At long last, How to Move to Canada can help make your vague threat into a cold Canadian reality. This book is also full of activities such as: Color the flag of your new homeland Match the strange Canuck dialect with their local definitions And more! PLEASE NOTE: This is a humor book. It won't really help you emigrate. Rather, it's a subversive mix of real information on the Great White North plus a hilarious look at all the reasons why you won't like it there any better — and why they probably won't have you anyway.

    Save the galaxy. All in a hard day's work. Get both the Completed Omnibus of Ghost Squadron and Precious Galaxy series in one GIANT omnibus for a stellar price!Ghost Galaxy encompasses the two Age of Expansion series co-written by Sarah Noffke and Michael Anderle!Ghost Squadron's 7 book set:After 10 years of wandering the outer rim of the galaxy, Eddie Teach is a man without a purpose. He was one of the toughest pilots in the Federation, but now he's just a regular guy, getting into bar fights and making a difference wherever he can. It's not the same as flying a ship and saving colonies, but it'll have to do.That is, until General Lance Reynolds tracks Eddie down and offers him a job. There are bad people out there, plotting terrible things, killing innocent people, and destroying entire colonies.Someone has to stop them.Experience this exciting military sci-fi saga and the latest addition to the expanded Kurtherian Gambit universe. If you're a fan of Mass Effect, Firefly, or Star Wars, you'll love this riveting new space opera.Precious Galaxy completed 4 book set:A new evil lurks in the darknessAfter an explosion, the crew of a battlecruiser mysteriously disappears.CorruptionAfter an explosion, the crew of a battlecruiser mysteriously disappears.Bailey and Lewis, complete strangers, find themselves suddenly onboard the damaged ship. Lewis hasn’t worked a case in years, not since the final one broke his spirit and his bank account. The last thing Bailey remembers is preparing to take down a fugitive on Onyx Station.Mysteries are harder to solve when there’s no evidence left behind.Bailey and Lewis don’t know how they got onboard Ricky Bobby or why. However, they quickly learn that whatever was responsible for the explosion and disappearance of the crew is still on the ship.Monsters are real and what this one can do changes everything.The new team bands together to discover what happened and how to fight the monster lurking in the bottom of the battlecruiser. The stakes have never been higher No matter the cost, no matter the sacrifice, one thing is certain.The Federation cannot be allowed to fall.Note: If cursing is a problem, then this might not be for you.

    It is overshadowing even Noodlemass, the Holiday Celebration of Athena Lee's planet. Refugees have no where to go and children are trapped out in the cold without shelter. The best solution is to use local Hotels to put them up for the winter. One problem with that. The owner won't sell or even lease. What will Wilson and his gang of cybernetic heroes do to help? Wilson provides his unusual spin on a Christmas Classic!