She clears your path of all those merciless judgments pronounced by the Quilting Queens. She invites you to make quilts that are full of life. This funny book offers these nine principles for the 20 million quilters in America:           1. Pretty fabric is not acceptable. Go right back to the quilt shop and exchange it for something you feel sorry for.           2. Realize that patterns and templates are only someone's opinion and should be loosely translated. Personally, I've never thought much of a person who could only make a triangle with three sides.           3. When choosing a color plan for your quilt, keep in mind that the colors will fade after a hundred years or so. This being the case, you will need to start with really bright colors.           4. You should plan on cutting off about half your triangle or star points. Any more than that is showing off.           5. If you are doing applique, remember that bigger is dorkier. Flowers should be huge. Animals should possess really big eyes.           6. Throw away your seam ripper and repeat after me: "Oops. Oh, no one will notice."           7. Plan on running out of border fabric when you are three-quarters of the way finished. Complete the remaining border with something else you have a lot of, preferably in an unrelated color family.           8. You should be able to quilt equally well in all directions. I had to really work on this one. It was difficult to make my forward stitching look as bad as my backward stitching, but closing my eyes helped.           9. When you have put your last stitch in the binding, you are still only half finished. Your quilt must now undergo a thorough conditioning. Give it to someone you love dearly—to drag around the house, wrap up in, spill something on, and wash and dry until it is properly lumpy.           "No reason not to have quiltmaking be a pleasure", says Lisa Boyer, who has as firm a grip on her sense of humor as she does on her quilting needles. "If we didn't make Dorky Homemade quilts, all the quilts in the world would end up in the Beautiful Quilt Museum, untouched and intact. Quilts would just be something to look at. We would forget that quilts are lovable, touchable, shreddable, squeezable, chewable, and huggable -- made to wrap up in when the world seems to be falling down around us."

    Exquisitely detailed watercolor paintings depicting animals caught up in the joy and drudgery of life are paired with old adages given a new spin for our times. Tender thoughts such as “Smile first thing in the morning—get it over with,” “If you don't agree with me—it means you haven't been listening,” and “You'll always be my best friend—you know too much” go a long way toward banishing the blahs and shaking off the blues. Designer and illustrator Jane Seabrook's 40 universally appealing paintings of birds, bears, penguins, chipmunks, frogs, baboons, and more are rendered in delicate and biologically accurate detail using a tiny sable brush with a single hair at its tip. In the spirit of international best-seller The Blue Day Book, FURRY LOGIC speaks to the human condition in a way we can all relate to and feel good about.A humorous collection of quotes and drawings that turns life's little challenges into opportunities for laughter.An ideal gift for Mother's or Father's Day, birthdays, graduations, anniversaries, or for no reason at all.

    More witty and stylish poetic therapy for the Venus and Mars generation.

    It's a picture of an ideal relationship for a new generation of married couples: alternately grotesque, sexy, silly, and sexually permissive, but above all, built on mutual respect and honesty: •I promise: to never comment on your bad breath, as long as you don't come near me with bad breath. •We're going to make a lot of parenting mistakes: Let's not make putting leashes on our children when we go to the mall one of them.•Your job: I know I'm the 'free spirited one', but you're not allowed to be doing something that makes you miserable. Sorry. We'll f**'in live in a box, it's fine.

    A unique travelogue and representation of current society, spirituality and the quest for a meaningful life.

    And wrong. This is not your average self-help book.There are no filters, no frittatas and no fake. In Help Self, Tanya gets real as she discusses food, love, friendship, careers and mental health, and (of course) she gets real hilarious too.From being mistaken for a pregnant woman when she'd just had too many Cheezels, to understanding whatever alien language your friend's child is speaking, to overcoming an unexpected breakup with your best friend, Tanya Hennessy has all the life-hack, pro-tips for getting through this chaos we call life.

    Combing through her stories, poems, articles, reviews, correspondence, and even her rare journalism and song lyrics, editor Barry Day has selected and arranged passages that describe her life and its preoccupations-urban living, the theater and cinema, the battle of the sexes, and death by dissipation. Best known for her scathing pieces for the New Yorker and her membership in the Algonquin Round Table ("The greatest collection of unsaleable wit in America."), Parker filled her work with a unique mix of fearlessness, melancholy, savvy, and hope. In Dorothy Parker, the irrepressible writer addresses: her early career writing for magazines; her championing of social causes such as integration; and the obsession with suicide that became another drama ("Scratch an actor...and you'll find an actress."), literature ("This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.") and much more.

    He lands an enviable gig writing about shopping and fashion for the city’s major newspaper, but an ill-fated promotional junket gets Albo into hot water. He becomes a gossip item and finds himself caught in an acrimonious war between Old and New Media. Here's a gimlet-eyed account of the back-biting media scene, a glimpse into the inner workings of the fashion crowd, and a candid portrait of what it takes to survive as a writer in today’s chattering and watchful New York City."I was perilously close to exposing a secret underground economy of promotion: favors and junkets and banquets and gifts that keeps the city in motion, and keeps underpaid writers at work. Basically, I became the Silkwood of Swag."

    Dale Comstock is a Delta Force Operator - a member of America's secret army; the most enigmatic and combat tested elite counter-terrorism unit in the world. In his action packed story we journey with him from boyhood to manhood into a world of extreme violence where he learns the values of hard work, sacrifice, and love of family. As he succeeds and fails as a Delta Force Operator, Green Beret, husband and father, he elevates the meaning of being an American to being an American Badass.

    Treats this serious subject with sympathetic feelings. An excellent guide allowing us to understand that we are not alone with our grief. Anyone who has a pet should read it. -Dog Week Written with compassion and understanding; truly required reading for any pet owner. -Dog World Coping with Sorrow addresses every aspect of pet loss and grief. Written in a clear, friendly style. It takes a pet owner by the hand and walks him through the stages of bereavement, offering explanations and coping strategies at every step. -Canine Concepts A small gem of a book. Anderson's book fills the need for a comprehensive, yet easily read, publication on pet loss and owner bereavement. The message is one of love, common sense, and practical information. -The Delta Society This book has been needed for a long time-like forever! The wealth of information given by pet owners makes the book come alive. It's a lovely thing, beautifully and generously written from the bottom of a superb writer's heart. -Dog Writers Association of America It gets right to the heart of the issue of pet loss, right to where people are hurting. [Its] warm, down-to-earth language reaches out to a pet owner on the level of friend to friend. -Bloodlines

    This is a book about surviving it." I felt like a babyless freak. No matter what we tried, I couldn’t get pregnant, even after standing on my head after sex. I was pretty sure I was the only woman on the planet going through infertility, certainly the only one jamming needles into my butt on commercial breaks during my favorite TV shows. Everyone was getting pregnant around me and no one was talking about what happened if you couldn’t. After my experience, I wanted to write a book for other infertile women and couples who feel alone, the book I wish I’d had when I was going through it, filled with dark humor and illustrations of quirky ovaries and whimsical sperm. If you’re like me, you want blunt, honest conversations about all the crazy stuff you’re going through with someone who’s been there and understands at least some of what you’re dealing with and how you’re feeling. And if it can somehow give you permission to laugh without diminishing the pain you’re feeling? Even better. This is the funnest book you’ll ever read about the worst thing that’s ever happened to you. Each chapter covers a different challenge with infertility and is broken into sections, a little of my story and concerns, a blurb from my husband, Alex, kind of a window into his dudely brain, and practical tips on how to cope. Read it yourself, read it as a couple, and if you’re struggling to explain your feelings to friends and family, hurl a copy at them and run away. I really wish you didn’t need this book, but since you do, come on over. You’re not alone.

    At turns hilarious and bittersweet, this novel is destined to be a bookshelf classic.

    Follow Richard and Felicity who are at the end of their financial rope, Morgan who needs a medical miracle for his son, and Ray who needs to find $4.5 million dollars by Wednesday as they each discover their portals to genius. Built on the premise that the solution to every problem is just an idea away, Leslie Householder (award-winning best selling author of The Jackrabbit Factor: Why You Can) and Garrett B. Gunderson (New York Times best selling author of Killing Sacred Cows), bring you an experience you'll never forget through this brilliant work true to its name: Portal to Genius.

    This is the story of one man's quest to get the entire Amazon Kindle library for free and the repercussions of what an insane obsession could bring.