And he can drive.Adults and children alike would do well to read this book over and over again to learn from Maddox’s sage-like wisdom. Every keystroke Maddox types is brilliant. The world is better off with him in it. Maddox has selflessly shared some of his own art, and we must thank him for it. May his fertility continue to be dangerously potent, so as to impregnate as many babes as possible, and not one fewer.

    How To is a guide to the third kind of approach. It's full of highly impractical advice for everything from landing a plane to digging a hole.Bestselling author and cartoonist Randall Munroe explains how to predict the weather by analyzing the pixels of your Facebook photos. He teaches you how to tell if you're a baby boomer or a 90's kid by measuring the radioactivity of your teeth. He offers tips for taking a selfie with a telescope, crossing a river by boiling it, and powering your house by destroying the fabric of space-time. And if you want to get rid of the book once you're done with it, he walks you through your options for proper disposal, including dissolving it in the ocean, converting it to a vapor, using tectonic plates to subduct it into the Earth's mantle, or launching it into the Sun.By exploring the most complicated ways to do simple tasks, Munroe doesn't just make things difficult for himself and his readers. As he did so brilliantly in What If?, Munroe invites us to explore the most absurd reaches of the possible. Full of clever infographics and amusing illustrations, How To is a delightfully mind-bending way to better understand the science and technology underlying the things we do every day.

    The book chronicles the city's colorful citizens and hopping nightlife, and also explores some of the most hilarious events from its crazy history—like the time the whole town was on fire, its ongoing raccoon infestation, and the cult that took over in the 1970s. Packed with laugh-out-loud-funny photographs, illustrations, and commentary by the other inhabitants of Pawnee, it's a must-read that will make you enjoy every moment of your stay in the Greatest Town in America. Praise for Pawnee: "Carrying this book around is a good way of picking up girls with glasses." —Tom Haverford "I have read over four books, and this is by far the one that has me in it the most." —Andy Dwyer "Literally the greatest endeavor of human creativity in the history of mankind." —Chris Traeger

    Red-hot screwball comedies, each and every one of them. Nine of these stories were originally published by the Loveswept line between the years 1988 and 1992. All immediately went out of print and could be found only at used bookstores and yard sales.I'm excited to tell you that those nine stories are now being re-released by HarperCollins. Naughty Neighbor is the eighth in the lineup, and it's presented here in almost original form. Usually when I edit these books I do some modernizing. For instance, I change VHS to DVD, and roller skates to Rollerblades, and sticks of gum are now pieces of gum. I do this because the books were meant to be contemporary (as opposed to historical), and I don't want the reader to have a time disconnect. In the beginning of the original Naughty Neighbor, my heroine throws a handheld phone into the toilet, and the next morning she goes into the bathroom and sees the "slim silver antenna caught between the toilet lid and seat." Okay, so most phones don't have extended antennas anymore, but I just loved the image . . . so I left it in. And I don't know how many women wear front-closure bras anymore, but that got left in, too.Naughty Neighbor is probably the most romancey of all the Loveswepts I wrote, but there's still a small mystery to unravel. Louisa Brannigan is a no-nonsense, hardworking press secretary, fighting her way to the top of Capitol Hill, with no help from her annoying neighbor, Pete Streeter. He receives phone calls all night long, he steals her morning paper, he thinks jeans are formal wear, and worst of all he's involved Louisa in the disappearance of a pig. So this is the story of a pig in Witness Protection and love being found by a workaholic woman and a fun-loving man who makes terrible pots of coffee.Enjoy!Janet Evanovich

    Varun whiles away his time, hopping from pub to pub, spending time with friends and keeping a track of his love interest on Facebook.These traits worry his mother to the bone, compelling her to put the very meddlesome Anu Aunty on the job, to help get her son moving in the right direction in life. Anu Aunty does a rather good job of this, much to Varun's dismay. He then does all that he can to get her off his track, while pursuing his dreams to become an entrepreneur.How I Braved Anu Aunty and Co-Founded A Million Dollar Company is the author’s debut novel and is on its fourth reprint already. Having sold twenty thousand copies in only a month, the book has become a bestseller by national standards. It has also occupied a firm foothold on the bestseller charts for eighty days at a stretch. The author attained initial popularity with his Facebook blog posts, a few of which were sent to his publishers. The book was conceived once they demanded a full manuscript.

    Wayne and Scout shoot to kill. In a single night they find out the hard way what's real and what's not, who's the hero and who's the villain. The USA watches slack-jawed as Bruce and Wayne together resolve some serious questions. Does Bruce use erection cream? Does art imitate life or does life simply imitate bad art? And most of all, does sugar-pie really love his honeybun?

    Finally, a book to teach you how to not be a sex dumby no more. It's this book.

    Here is a celebration (illustrated in glorious black and white) of the best of the worst cinematic catastrophes -- the shimmering stars, the dreadful directors, and the dubious dialogue that made these movies so abysmal.Remember John Travolta as a melting monster in The Devil's Rain? Henry Fonda as a fearless bee battler in The Swarm? Mary Tyler Moore as a heartsick nun in love with Elvis Presley in Change of Habit? How about Scuttlebutt the Talking Duck in Everything's Ducky?See if you can guess the winners in each of the 30 award categories -- from The Most Obnoxious Child Performer of All Time to the Life Achievement Awards: Worst Actor, Actress, and Director. Applaud the winner in a national poll for The (very) Worst Film of All Time and The Worst Films Compendium, an annotated index of the best of the unbelievable baddies.MC'd by the Brothers Medved--Harry, author of The Fifty Worst Films of All Time, and Michael, author of What Really Happened to the Class of '65? -- The Golden Turkey Awards is a cornucopia of cinemediocrity.WARNING: Over 425 actual films are described in this book, but one is a complete hoax. Can you find it?

    Lansdale’s tale of the life and love and work of one Dot Sherman, who delivers on her promise that her story is “the real thing from beginning to end.”Dot waitresses on roller skates at the Dairy Bob, doesn’t care for smoking at least partly on account of her dad having never returned from a cigarette run, and carries on the family tradition of philosophizing. Life hasn’t done her any favors in her seventeen years so far. But if there was ever a heroine built for turning things upside down and seeing what shakes out, it’s Dot. Determined to find out who she is and why she’s the way she is, an opportunity presents itself when her heretofore-unknown uncle suddenly moves his camper into the front yard. As in his classic novels The Bottoms and The Magic Wagon, multiple-award-winning Lansdale instills place with character and character with place. Here is an overlooked world and a cast of real folks that prove unforgettable, all rendered in one of American fiction’s most authentic voices.

    The runaway #1 British Bestseller Never Hit a Jellyfish with a Spade offers intelligent, practical advice on the level you need it, the trivial level: o How to evaluate a bottle of wine (if the alcohol content is less than 15 percent, send it straight back) o How to get what you want at the barber's (no multipart instructions, please) o How to stay warm in bed (when your partner has cold feet and steals the covers) o How to be a fashionista (when your twenty-year-old wardrobe is suddenly back in vogue) o How to pretend to laugh at a friend's joke (the closest most men get to faking orgasm) o How to fix a computer (If restarting it doesn't work, turn it off and go back to a pre- industrial lifestyle.) Covering cooking and eating, sleeping and waking, men and women, love and marriage, religion and politics, hedges and neighbors, Never Hit a Jellyfish with a Spade delivers the truth about the things that really matter. With a package as fun as its contents, it's the ideal gift for anyone who wants to live life with a sense of humor.

     As a prisoner of war, Andrew Jackson walked several miles barefoot across state lines while suffering from smallpox and a serious head wound received when he refused to polish the boots of the soldiers who had taken him captive. He was thirteen years old. A few decades later, he became the first popularly elected president and served the nation, pausing briefly only to beat a would-be assassin with a cane to within an inch of his life. Theodore Roosevelt had asthma, was blind in one eye, survived multiple gunshot wounds, had only one regret (that there were no wars to fight under his presidency), and was the first U.S. president to win the Medal of Honor, which he did after he died. Faced with the choice, George Washington actually preferred the sound of bullets whizzing by his head in battle over the sound of silence. And now these men—these hallowed leaders of the free world—want to kick your ass. Plenty of historians can tell you which president had the most effective economic strategies, and which president helped shape our current political parties, but can any of them tell you what to do if you encounter Chester A. Arthur in a bare-knuckled boxing fight? This book will teach you how to be better, stronger, faster, and more deadly than the most powerful (and craziest) men in history. You’re welcome.

    Because without stress, life is boring. Increase your own stress levels and create stress in others with simple measures such as:* If you are stressed, make sure you communicate this to those around you. Soon they'll be stressed too.* Switch the decaffeinated and caffeinated coffees around whenever you can.* Always join in other people's arguments. Try to get others to join in too.* When you're the first car in line at a traffic light, get out and read a map. Try to miss the green light at least twice.* A double espresso just before bed is always a winner.* Replace your bulbs with overhead, neon-strip lights. If you can get ones that flicker, all the better.* If someone is telling you a joke and you know the punch line, wait until they've nearly finished, then tell them you've heard it before.* Ask single women if they've got a boyfriend yet. Repeat on Valentine's Day.

    No one who has lips will be able to read it without smiling; it s guaranteed. The fact is, we all have our bad days -- they are an intrinsic part of being human. As prescribed by The Blue Day Book in its delightful photo and text messages, the solution is to see each incident in perspective, recognize that our feelings of failure and loss are not unique, and acknowledge the absurdities of our existence, and glory in the potential we all have. In less than one hundred sentences, The Blue Day Book conveys this message with great compassion and humor. Its vehicle is charming black-and-white photographs of animals that are strangely human and completely free of judgment or pretension. The humble marriage of easy text and beautiful images takes us through the entire evolution of a blue day -- examines what it feels like, what causes it, and how to get over it.

    From a disastrous Putt-Putt date involving a backward prosthetic foot, to his introduction to CFD (Close Fast Dancing), to a misguided "grand gesture" at a Miss America pageant, this story is about looking for love--or at least a girlfriend--in all the wrong places.

    She grew up with nothing, and now she’s drawn to glitz, glamour, and a lighthearted lifestyle. She speaks her mind, so she’s just the tough cookie to tell stars the truth about how other people see them, even when they don’t want to hear it. But after six years at the top of her game, Wendy crosses the line. A star she was sent to save rebels against her and nearly gets her fired. To salvage her job, she must rehabilitate the career of a singing starlet with a penchant for posting inappropriate photos of herself and arguing online with her famous ex. Problem is, the ex is represented by Wendy’s arch nemesis from college, the hot and haughty Daniel Blackstone. And both stars are scheduled for a collision course on national television, broadcast live from Las Vegas.Daniel’s uneasy when he hears Wendy Mann from his firm’s most hated competitor has been brought in to revive the career of his client’s ex-girlfriend. Daniel must win at any cost. And if he has to seduce Wendy to smooth the way to their partnership, he’s willing to sacrifice himself for the cause. But Daniel doesn’t count on the scorching heat between them—and when they get to Vegas, all bets are off.