With his trademark wit and heart, he outlines the absurdities and challenges that come with growing old, from insomnia to memory loss to leaving dinners with half your meal on your shirt. In humorous chapters like “Buying the Plot” and “Nodding Off,” Crystal not only catalogues his physical gripes, but offers a road map to his 77 million fellow baby boomers who are arriving at this milestone age with him. He also looks back at the most powerful and memorable moments of his long and storied life, from entertaining his relatives as a kid in Long Beach, Long Island, his years doing stand-up in the Village, up through his legendary stint at Saturday Night Live, When Harry Met Sally, and his long run as host of the Academy Awards. Readers get a front-row seat to his one-day career with the New York Yankees (he was the first player to ever “test positive for Maalox”), his love affair with Sophia Loren, and his enduring friendships with several of his idols, including Mickey Mantle and Muhammad Ali. He lends a light touch to more serious topics like religion (“the aging friends I know have turned to the Holy Trinity: Advil, bourbon, and Prozac”), grandparenting, and, of course, dentistry. As wise and poignant as they are funny, Crystal’s reflections are an unforgettable look at an extraordinary life well lived.

    His previous excursion along the Appalachian Trail resulted in the sublime national bestseller A Walk in the Woods. In A Sunburned Country is his report on what he found in an entirely different place: Australia, the country that doubles as a continent, and a place with the friendliest inhabitants, the hottest, driest weather, and the most peculiar and lethal wildlife to be found on the planet. The result is a deliciously funny, fact-filled, and adventurous performance by a writer who combines humor, wonder, and unflagging curiousity.Despite the fact that Australia harbors more things that can kill you in extremely nasty ways than anywhere else, including sharks, crocodiles, snakes, even riptides and deserts, Bill Bryson adores the place, and he takes his readers on a rollicking ride far beyond that beaten tourist path. Wherever he goes he finds Australians who are cheerful, extroverted, and unfailingly obliging, and these beaming products of land with clean, safe cities, cold beer, and constant sunshine fill the pages of this wonderful book. Australia is an immense and fortunate land, and it has found in Bill Bryson its perfect guide.

    It wasn’t drugs, alcohol, or sex: it was film. After moving to Los Angeles, Oswalt became a huge film buff (or as he calls it, a sprocket fiend), absorbing classics, cult hits, and new releases at the famous New Beverly Cinema. Silver screen celluloid became Patton’s life schoolbook, informing his notion of acting, writing, comedy, and relationships.Set in the nascent days of LA’s alternative comedy scene, Silver Screen Fiend chronicles Oswalt’s journey from fledgling stand-up comedian to self-assured sitcom actor, with the colorful New Beverly collective and a cast of now-notable young comedians supporting him all along the way.

    Prepare to excitedly shove this book in your friend’s face with little decorum as you shout, “THIS IS SO US!”In this beautiful, four-color collection compiled completely of never-before-seen content, Meichi perfectly captures the best and worst of us in every short story, allowing us to weep with pleasure at our own fallibility. Hilarious, relatable, and heart-wrenchingly honest, Barely Functional Adult will have you laughing and crying in the same breath, and taking solace in the fact that we’re anything but alone in this world

    In his memoir, he tells us what it's like to be an import player in Russia, and the challenges he faced with the language, the culture, and the game.He tells stories about life at the "baza," a training base, and how they'd have to spend big parts of the season away from their families. (Unless they sneak out). His driver was also his buddy and a bodyguard. There's the travel, with hours upon hours on planes that are often antiquated, and there are the teammates, the doctors, the pills, the training camps, the saunas, and the money, oh, the money."What an awesome book. If you're a hockey fan, you will love it."—Thomas Vanek, New York Islanders"This is Russia... offers a fascinating first-person look at life in the KHL for a foreigner."—Chris Johnston, Sportsnet, Canada"It's been a long time since I have thoroughly enjoyed a book so much."—Michael Lorber, sports journalist, Kleine Zeitung, Austria

    In “Losing Nora,” she deftly captures the rivalry, mutual respect, and intimacy that made up her relationship with her older sister and frequent writing companion. “Blame It on the Movies” is Ephron’s wry and romantic essay about surviving her disastrous twenties, becoming a writer, and finding a storybook ending. “Bakeries” is both a lighthearted tour through her favorite downtown patisseries and a thoughtful, deeply felt reflection on the dilemma of having it all. From keen observations on modern living, the joy of girlfriends, and best-friendship, to a consideration of the magical madness and miracle of dogs, to haunting recollections of life with her famed screenwriter mother and growing up the child of alcoholics, Ephron’s eloquent style and voice illuminate every page of this superb and singular work.

    People are puzzled how she can spontaneously make them laugh in the midst of national policy crises, and of real danger to her life as a corruption fighter.This book is a collection of jokes, one-liners, pick-up lines, conebacks and speeches delivered and/or curated by the beloved Senator. Also, inside are illustrations by Cj de Silva-Ong, Manix Abrera, Elbert Or, Rob Cham and more of the Philippines' best young illustrators.

    "Bailey White's sketches evoke a sort of real-life Lake Wobegon."--The New York Times.

    In your hands, right now, you hold the culmination of thousands of years of human intelligence, ingenuity, and brilliance. Now put your goddamn phone down and pay attention to my book. What is in my book, you ask? (I'm really glad you asked, by the way, because now I get to tell you.)Time travel. Gay marriage. Sportsballing. Futuristic goggles that DO NOTHING.Tiny brags from my publisher, stuff like: "This is an uproarious, uncensored take on empathy, personal responsibility, and what it means to be human."Excessive brags about myself: "An extraordinarily clever, punishingly funny, sharp-tongued blogosphere star, NFL player, husband and father, one-time violin prodigy, voracious lifetime reader, obsessive gamer, and fearless champion of personal freedom."Oh, and also an essay on the Pope's Twitter account. Honestly, if that doesn't draw you in, there's no hope left for humanity. I also give my own funeral eulogy, in case you were hoping I'd go away and die now!So please, join me in the glorious art of windmill tilting by reading this "collection of rousing, uncensored personal essays, letters, and stories" (I have no idea why that's in quotes).Join the herd of Beautifully Unique Sparkleponies.(You know you want to.)

    In the throes of heartbreak, Emperor Nero had just about everyone he ever loved-from his old tutor to most of his friends-put to death. Oscar Wilde's lover, whom he went to jail for, abandoned him when faced with being cut off financially from his wealthy family. And poor volatile Caroline Lamb sent Lord Byron one hell of a torch letter and enclosed a bloody lock of her own pubic hair.

    Like those other outstanding comics Spike Milligan and Peter Cook he had an innate belief in absurdity as a way of life - his humour and sheer joy in madness for its own sake was as likely to find its outlet on the street as on the stage. The other Pythons often said that just listening to Graham tell them about one of his wild evenings out was fodder for a dozen sketches. He was inventive, fearless, willing to take chances and make stands. Openly gay, capable of outrageous alcohol-fuelled behaviour, Graham Chapman lived an untidy life, and in some respects this book mirrors that. Inside is everything from television scripts and sketches to humorous essays on serious topics, comic flights of fancy that serve no purpose except to elicit a laugh, letters to friends and fellow hellraisers like Keith Moon and Ringo Starr, his behind-the-scenes account of the filming of Life of Brian, his views on fellow Pythons, and much more.

    To the millions unable to get to their teams' games on Saturday afternoons, the next best thing is undoubtedly the pleasurable company of Jeff and the Sky Sports videprinter for a cozy marathon on the sofa. If someone's got to reveal that your beloved team have just gone 3�0 down away from home and had a man sent off, it's best if it's consummate professional Jeff who breaks the news to you. Avid Hartlepool fan Jeff knows our pain and shares our joy—but mostly he knows our pain. The long-time host of SkySports' iconic Soccer Saturday show has become a cult figure, universally admired for his encyclopedic knowledge of the game, his genuine and unlimited enthusiasm for all levels of soccer, and his wicked sense of humor which makes the six-hour long show simply whiz by. This deliciously chaotic, hugely entertaining, anecdote-ridden, humorous taste of life in the Soccer Saturday studio reveals what Jeff has to say about some of the show's legendary pundits over the years—ex-players such as George Best, Rodney Marsh, Chris Kamara, Charlie Nicholas, and Matt Le Tissier. Get the inside track on all those great one-liners: "Mansfield Town's Gareth Jellyman has been shown the red card for dissent. Looks like Jellyman's thrown a wobbly." "Darlington's equalizer has been scored by Guyain Ndumbu-Nsungu. Very much a case of local boy makes good." "They'll be dancing in the streets of Total Network Solutions tonight." "James Brown's grabbed a second for Hartlepool. I feel good!" Jellyman's Thrown a Wobbly goes a long way to demonstrate how a six-hour long, studio-based show with no live action pictures and featuring men gazing into TV monitors which the viewer can't see, can hold a huge audience enthralled every Saturday afternoon between August and May.

    As a member of four Red Wings’ Stanley Cup–winning teams, McCarty played the role of enforcer from 1993 to 2004 and returning again in 2008 and 2009. His “Grind Line” with teammates Kris Draper and Kirk Maltby physically overmatched some of the best offensive lines in the NHL, but he was more than just a brawler: his 127 career goals included several of the highlight variety, including an inside-out move against Philadelphia in the clinching game of the 1997 Stanley Cup Finals. As colorful a character as any NHL player, he has arms adorned with tattoos, and he was the lead singer in the hard rock band Grinder during the offseason. Yet this autobiography details what may have endeared him most to his fans: the honest, open way he has dealt with his struggles in life off the ice. Whether dealing with substance abuse, bankruptcy, divorce, or the death of his father, Darren McCarty has always seemed to persevere.

    He's always unshaven and badly hungover, with some 16-year-old groupie from Cleveland in tow—and he's just as funny then as he is in Tasteful Nudes. He is my idol." —Malcolm Gladwell"Dave Hill speaks, rocks, and now writes with a voice so powerful and funny and compelling that I'm pretty sure he's channeling some weird god from another dimension. Basically, this dude is a comedic Cthulhu, and when you read this book, you will either go COMPLETELY MAD or BECOME A SLAVE TO HIS MAD GENIUS. Pray for the latter." —John Hodgman"This book should affirm Dave Hill's rightful place as a major American humor writer. You will laugh. Buy two and brighten a friend's life as well." —Dick CavettFrom the Book Jacket:Dear ridiculously attractive person who just so happens to be holding Tasteful Nudes in his or her soft and supple yet commanding hands,Hi. My name is Dave, and this is my very first collection of essays. As you can probably imagine, it pretty much has everything. In fact, if you like stories about stolen meat, animal attacks, young love, death, naked people, clergymen, rock 'n' roll, irritable Canadians, and prison, you have just hit a street called Easy because my book talks about all that stuff and a bunch of other stuff, too.Getting back to that prison thing for a second—I can think of almost no better place to read my book than from within the confines of a correctional facility. For starters, you will definitely have the time. Also, cozying up with a good book in front of your fellow inmates is a great way to show them a softer side that for some reason no one ever wants to hear about in the yard.Fear not, though, non-convicts, my book makes for a solid read outside of prison, too. At the beach, on the subway, while whitewater rafting, during couples counseling, under local anesthesia—I have personally seen to it that my book is totally readable in all these scenarios, as well as in most other scenarios out there today. It will make you laugh, cry, and maybe even think so much that you will forget all your problems while simultaneously creating a few new ones. In limited instances it has been known to cause severe dehydration and the occasional groin pull, but honestly I don't know what that's about. That said, it's probably not a bad idea to keep a glass of water handy and really stretch things out before strapping yourself in for a literary thrill ride you will want to experience again and again until you are either dead or your eyesight fails completely, whichever comes first. In fact, if I end up being wrong about any of this stuff, you can kick me right in the privates. Also, I will send you a nice ham (serves twenty). In short, you really can't lose on this one.Your man,Dave Hill

    From the break-out star of BuzzFeed's “Whine About It” and the People’s Choice Award-winning comedian behind the web series “To Be Honest” comes a collection of hilariously anguished essays chronicling awful moments from Matt’s life so far, the humiliations of being an adult, and other little indignities.