The Shepherd, the Angel, and Walter the Christmas Miracle Dog


Dave Barry - 2006
    The year is 1960, and the Christmas pageant at St. John's Episcopal Church is a very big deal. Doug Barnes is a shepherd this year, which is better than being a Three King, because you get to carry a stick. There are problems, however. The girl he likes is playing Mary opposite a Joseph who is depressingly smart, athletic, and cute; the family dog is doing poorly, and they have no idea what they're going to tell Doug's little sister, Becky; and his dad's just gotten a flat tire, which means they might not even get to the pageant. But Christmas is a time of miracles. And for Doug and his family, this will be the most miraculous Christmas of all.

The Cat Who Came for Christmas


Cleveland Amory - 1988
    Thus begins this tale of a man and his cat or, rather, of a cat and his man. A touching, timeless, and inspiring story about the animal/human bond and the spirit of the holiday season.

Oliver: The Cat Who Saved Christmas


Sheila Norton - 2015
    But, with the kindness of the humans around him, he soon learns to trust again. And, in his own special way, he helps to heal those around him.However, it isn’t until he meets a little girl in desperate need of a friend that he realises this village needs a Christmas miracle...A warm and uplifting novel, this is the tale of a little cat with a big heart. Perfect for fans of A Streetcat Named Bob and Alfie the Doorstep Cat.(back cover)

I Could Pee On This: And Other Poems By Cats


Francesco Marciuliano - 2012
    In this hilarious book of tongue-in-cheek poetry, the author of the internationally syndicated comic strip Sally Forth helps cats unlock their creative potential and explain their odd behaviour to ignorant humans. With titles like Who Is That on Your Lap?, This Is My Chair, Kneel Before Me, Nudge, and Some of My Best Friends Are Dogs, the poems collected in I Could Pee on This perfectly capture the inner workings of the cat psyche. With photos of the cat authors throughout, this whimsical volume reveals kitties at their wackiest, and most exasperating (but always lovable).

Spending the Holidays with People I Want to Punch in the Throat: Yuletide Yahoos, Ho-Ho-Humblebraggers, and Other Seasonal Scourges


Jen Mann - 2012
    On Mann’s naughty list: mothers who go way overboard with their Elf on the Shelf, overzealous carolers who can’t take a hint, and people who write their Christmas cards in the third person (“Joyce is enjoying Bunko. Yeah, Joyce, we know you wrote this letter.”). And on her nice list . . . well, she’s working on that one. Here, no celebration is off-limits. The essays include:• You Can Keep Your Cookies, I’m Just Here for the Booze• Nice Halloween Costume. Was Skank Sold Out?• Why You Won’t Be Invited to Our Chinese New Year PartyFrom hosting an ill-fated Chinese New Year party, to receiving horrible gifts from her husband on Mother’s Day, to reluctantly telling her son the truth about the Easter Bunny, Mann knows the challenge of navigating the holidays while keeping her sanity intact. And even if she can’t get out of attending another Christmas cookie exchange, at least she can try again next year.Praise for Spending the Holidays with People I Want to Punch in the Throat “Mann’s writing has transcended from witty anecdotes and complaints to notable satire. Hidden among the many laugh-out-loud zingers are lessons on how we relate to each other, and how ridiculous parenting culture has become.”—Associated Press “Following the success of her first book, she is now punching throats at holidays, starting from her being age two and continuing to the present, where she is a harried mother bemoaning not just Christmas but all holidays. . . . Harried holiday haters will chuckle and perhaps see themselves somewhere in Mann’s lifetime dislike of and misbehavior during America’s increasingly commercialized celebrations.”—Booklist “The cure for my cold holiday spirit this year is the sidesplitting new book by Jen Mann. . . . Mann delivers her signature punch lines and sharp critique on the oftentimes ridiculous shenanigans of the modern family. Her ability to make an otherwise boring subject come alive with colorful personalities, biting sarcasm, and impressively astute observations on suburban culture is what makes Mann so much fun to read and so easy to relate to.”—The Huffington Post “A lighthearted, laugh-out-loud book . . . with a feel of peeking into a diary.”—Mommy’s Memorandum “It really does make you laugh out loud.”—Shooting Stars Mag “A quick and delightful read that you can sneak in right before bed or when the kids are finally napping.”—FangirlNation “Grab a cup of hot cocoa, sit back and enjoy Jen’s latest collection of humorous rants dissecting the ‘most wonderful time’ of the year. She unleashes her biting wit and hilarious opinions on everything from cookie exchanges to annual humblebrag Christmas letters from overachieving moms to horrifying Christmases of her childhood.”—Creating Serenity “[Mann] has really mastered the short story format. . . . She packs the maximum amount of funny into the fewest words, and many of these essays are downright hilarious. . . . If you’ve read and liked her other books, you will definitely want to read this one, too.”—Bug Bug Book Reviews

What Cats Want for Christmas


Kandy Radzinski - 2007
    What Cats Want for Christmas gives a laugh-out-loud look into the hearts and minds of felines at holiday time. With clever rhymes and colorful illustrations, now cats get their chance to pen a letter to Santa. Forget the catnip! Whether it's Benny who longs for a sweater ... knit of a red Irish setter or Arty who wants a silver dish ... filled with little silver fish, Santa (and readers of all ages) will chuckle with delight at this fun-filled wish list. Cat owners will be tempted to leave this book open to share with their favorite pet. It's the purr-fect gift!

The Lump of Coal


Lemony Snicket - 2008
    This is a story about a lump of coal who can think, talk, and move itself around.Is there a more charming holiday tale to behold? Probably, but Lemony Snicket has not written one.

A Christmas Story


Jean Shepherd - 1983
    Its affectionate, wacky, and wryly realistic portrayal of an American family’s typical Christmas joys and travails in small-town Depression-era Indiana has entered our imagination and our hearts with a force equal to It’s a Wonderful Life and Miracle on 34th Street.This edition of A Christmas Story gathers together in one hilarious volume the gems of autobiographical humor that Jean Shepherd drew upon to create this enduring film. Here is young Ralphie Parker’s shocking discovery that his decoder ring is really a device to promote Ovaltine; his mother and father’s pitched battle over the fate of a lascivious leg lamp; the unleashed and unnerving savagery of Ralphie’s duel in the show with the odious bullies Scut Farkas and Grover Dill; and, most crucially, Ralphie’s unstoppable campaign to get Santa—or anyone else—to give him a Red Ryder carbine action 200-shot range model air rifle. Who cares that the whole adult world is telling him, “You’ll shoot your eye out, kid”?The pieces that comprise A Christmas Story, previously published in the larger collections In God We Trust, All Others Pay Cash and Wanda Hickey’s Night of Golden Memories, coalesce in a magical fashion to become an irresistible piece of Americana, quite the equal of the film in its ability to warm the heart and tickle the funny bone.From the Hardcover edition.

The Devious Book for Cats: A Parody


Fluffy - 2008
    Shouldn't they be lived to the fullest?Domesticated does not mean docile. The ho-hum routine of sleep, eat, eat, and sleep is no way for any creature who ruled Egypt for a millennium to spend her day. It's high time felines everywhere woke up from their cat naps and grabbed life's strings with both paws.The Devious Book for Cats offers today's discerning kitties words of wisdom and advice on everything they need to know, from in-depth guides on cardboard boxes and catnip to a brief history of the Felinism movement. It provides fail-safe tips on waking a human when you want to get fed, choosing the purr-fect gift, staring like a pro, and making the most of superstitions. It also explains the undeniable allure of the Window, the terrifying specter of the Vacuum, and how you can groom properly in just the scant twenty-four hours allotted each day.Cats: Discover the devious fun you can have when you're the one in charge!

Miss Kane's Christmas


Caroline Mickelson - 2012
    Joining single father Ben Hanson and his children for the holidays seems an easy enough task until Santa informs her that Ben is the man behind the disturbing new book 'Beyond Bah Humbug: Why Lying to Your Children about Santa Claus is a Bad Idea'.Posing as Miss Kane, the children's new nanny, Carol pulls out all the stops to show Ben how fun Christmas can be, all the while struggling to understand how one man could hate the holidays so much. How could she, Santa's only daughter, be so attracted to a man who refuses to believe her father exists?**Please note - this book was originally titled Carol's Christmas**

My Penguin Osbert


Elizabeth Cody Kimmel - 2004
    B. Lewis, Elizabeth Cody Kimmel's hilarious romp through the land of be-careful-what-you-wish-for offers a whole year's worth of holiday fun magic.This year, I was very specific in my letter to Santa Claus.Each year at Christmas, Joe writes a letter to Santa. But they've had a few misunderstandings in the past. Last year, for example, Joe wanted a fire-engine-red racecar with retracting headlights, and he did get one — but it was only three inches long. So this year Joe is really, really careful. He describes exactly what he wants — and on Christmas morning, guess what's waiting for him under the tree! Santa has brought him a living, breathing, black-and-white penguin named Osbert. Will anything in Joe's life ever be the same?

Cat Crimes


Martin H. GreenbergChristopher Fahy - 1991
    Presented are nineteen lively and entertaining brand-new tales of mystery and suspense from modern master, inspired by the cat.

Catmas Carols


Laurie Loughlin - 1993
    Forget peace on earth, forget good will toward men, and discover the true meaning of Christmas: "Wreck the Halls," "The First Meow," "Collar Bells," and more. Each song is accompanied by a playful illustration, and all are familiar tunes, so it's easy to sing along. Selling over a quarter of a million copies to date, Catmas Carols remains the perfect stocking stuffer for cat lovers and caterwaulers alike.

A Very Klingon Khristmas


Paul Ruditis - 2013
    Illustrated in a classic Norman Rockwell–inspired style, A Very Klingon Khristmas is the perfect holiday gift for every Star Trek fan!

The Cats' House


Bob Walker - 1996
    They've turned their California home into a feline fun house. It's the perfect mix of cat-friendly and cat-fantasy. And now cat fans can get an inside look with the first-ever paperback edition of The Cats' House.The house is all cat, and nine of them call it home. Bob Walker shows us the cats' living space, giving us a peek into 140 feet of brightly colored aerial walkways, spiral staircases, giant scratching posts, and playful peepholes.It's cat care combined with interior design.