This book is great for early readers, reading aloud at home, and is especially fun to read right before you go make your very own EPIC pancake!

    The response from other parents was overwhelming. With Things I've Said to My Children, Ripperger has assembled around 80 of the funniest, weirdest, and most amusing sayings and paired them with full-color, designed images that bring these outrageously hysterical quotes to life. Covering the essential parenting topics like food, animals, don'ts, and of course, bodily functions, Things I've Said to My Children is a light-hearted illustrated reminder of the shared absurdity of parenthood. Especially for those parents who've ever found themselves uttering some variation of the line, "Please don't eat the goldfish crackers you've put in your butt."

    Now he gives birth to a cast of gruesomely sympathetic children – misunderstood outcasts who struggle to find love and belonging in their cruel, cruel worlds. His lovingly lurid illustrations evoke both the sweetness and the tragedy of these dark yet simple beings – hopeful, hapless heroes who appeal to the ugly outsider in all of us, and let us laugh at a world we have long left behind (mostly anyway).

    anywhere on earth and anywhere in space. Join Smallfridge on a flight of imagination as he discovers the wonders that await him ... in the universe and right here at home at bedtime.Intended for children of all ages.

    He loves Mexico but wants to explore the world. Amazing things happen to Pedro and his friend Enrico when they decide to leave their home in search of adventure. The Little Cockroach is a delightful bedtime story about determination, travel and adventure.

    He discovers that entering the United States with his British wife is more difficult than he had anticipated.***A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.--Chinese ProverbA journey of seven thousand miles begins with a trip to the US Embassy-- Travis Casey Experience

    We are only just discovering the reality of our avian adversaries, with their reptilian brains, their appetites for mayhem and the fact that they fly mostly to spite us. To ignore the information found within this volume may be at the peril of your very life.

     Knox Prison is no joke. The food sucks, My roommate snores, And the only thing I have to look forward to is Monroe. My lawyer can look at my briefs anytime. She’s smart, beautiful, and the only way I’m getting out of this hellhole. I didn’t kill Blaze, but when you’re a Dead Soul MC member, no one cares about the truth. And maybe that’s for the best, Because no one can know about Canyon. Monroe is not just getting me out of jail, She’s also getting into my heart. Grave These lawyers can go screw themselves. If they think I’m going to let Everly go into witness protection, they've got another thing coming. They’re right that she is in danger, But I can keep her safe. So she will move in with me. At first, it seems simple, But as the lies unravel, I realize that Everly might be the only good thing in all of this. She’s pure, innocent and everything I’m not. But for her, I would change. Be the man she needs me to be. Forever. Brewer I thought kids were annoying. But after I meet, Ana, the MILF next doors daughter, I change my mind. She has the same sense of humor that I do. She’s a cool person, just on a smaller scale. And hanging out with her means more time with her mom. Makenna is easy on the eyes, But would be better on my bike. Getting close to me is a risk. But I would lay down my life for them. Take a bullet. Girls like battle scars, right? Rock She lied to me. The minute I see Gavin for the first time, I know he is mine. Piper told him his daddy was in jail. I should be angry with her. But with that stethoscope draped around her neck, I know she’s not as bad as I want her to be. She was just trying to protect him. From my life, my club, and the bastards that are trying to kill us. She has every reason to be worried, But no one will touch my son. Or my girl. She may have left before, But this time, I know she’ll stay. Because we both want the same thing. A family. Diesel No one tells me what to do. Except for maybe Dean, The President of the Black Hornets. I need their help in order to defeat the Black Saddles once and for all. But I know that their help is going to come at a cost. I don’t expect the price to be a pretty little thing, named Brynn. His daughter. That I thought was dead. Being in one MC is bad enough. But being a son in law to another MC’s president is going to be hell on earth. That is if she will agree to it. And so far, I can’t even get her to be in the same room with me. She’s feisty, and her good looks are no secret. I love a confident woman, But this one might be too hot to handle. I’m fire and she’s gasoline. Let’s light this sh*t up.

    And there's also a bit about a giant robot octopus. Praise for my other book, I am not a Loser, which is about 8 million times longer than this one: ‘Brilliant’ – My mum ‘Amazing’ – Also my mum

    Like most mutant potatoes, Rot loves all sorts of games and contests. So when he sees a sign for the “Cutest in the World Contest,” he can’t wait to enter. But when Rot realizes who he’s up against—an itty-bitty baby bunny, a little-wittle cuddly kitten, and an eenie-weenie jolly jellyfish—he loses confidence. Will the judges find room in their hearts for an adorable mutant potato?

    Alex isn't interested - until he decides to make the book something he'd actually like to read. So he takes out his pencil, sharpens his creativity, and totally transforms the story!Birthday Bunny becomes Battle Bunny, and the rabbit's innocent journey through the forest morphs into a supersecret mission to unleash an evil plan - a plan that only Alex can stop.Featuring layered, original artwork that emphasizes Alex's additions, this dynamic exploration of creative storytelling is sure to engage and inspire.

    She has an astonishing talent for visualizing relationships, capturing in pictures what is difficult for most of us to express in words. At indexed.blogspot.com, she posts charts, graphs, and Venn diagrams drawn on index cards that reveal in a simple and intuitive way the large and small truths of modern life. Praised throughout the blogosphere as “brilliant,” “incredibly creative,” and “comic genius,” Jessica turns her incisive, deadpan sense of humor on everything from office politics to relationships to religion. With new material along with some of Jessica’s greatest hits, this utterly unique book will thrill readers who demand humor that makes them both laugh and think.

    Featuring birds from North and South America, Africa, Asia, Europe, and Oceania, author Matt Kracht identifies the dumb birds that manage to live all over the freaking place with snarky, yet accurate, names and humorous, anger-filled drawings.This guide book details exactly how much these morons suck with facts about each bird's (annoying) call, its (stupid) migratory pattern, and its (downright tacky) markings. Complete with a matching game, bird descriptor checklist, tips on how to identify a bird (you can tell a lot by looking into a bird's eyes, for example), this profanity-laden book offers a balance of fact and wit that will appeal to hardcore birders and casual bird lovers (and haters) alike.A MUST-HAVE: A must-have sequel to the bestselling parody book The Field Guide to Dumb Birds of North America.UNIQUE & LAUGH-OUT-LOUD FUNNY: This is a great coffee table or bar top conversation-starting book. And a bonus, while the content is humorous, it is practical and useful!A GREAT PRESENT: This is the perfect gift for the bird lovers and haters in your life. It also makes a great Mother's Day, Father's Day, birthday, retirement, or gag gift.Perfect for:• Birdwatching and nature enthusiasts• Armchair birders (or nonbirders)• Someone who needs a quirky gift for an animal lover friend• People with serious birders in their lives who want something lighthearted

    Now Alice's many fans can treasure the first four books in the beloved series in his handsome boxed set.Books in this set include:"The Agony of AliceAlice in Rapture, Sort OfReluctantly AliceAll But Alice"

     "The book is an absolute page-turner, and will leave the reader wanting to know more. I was hooked by the first page." Readers' Favorite 5★ review The difference between Pandora and your average 12-year-old girl is that Pandora knows exactly what she wants at all times. So when five magical genies pop out of an old rusty lunch box, Pandora knows her life is finally going to be perfect! …Or maybe not. When one of the genies blows up a mean girl’s head to the size of a basketball, Pandora has to figure out how to unwish her wish, and fast! If you like the Dork Diaries, Diary of a Wimpy Kid or The Baby-Sitters Club books, you'll love Pandora’s Lunch Box! From the writer of My Best Friend Is a Secret Agent, this middle grade chapter book is a comic romp full of magic and suspense for any reader - children, tweens, teens... and beyond! This funny wish-fulfillment story is the first in a series, so if you like it, there's more to come! (Don't forget to look for the surprise after Chapter 1!)