If Clouds Were Sheep: A tale of sheep farming in the Cotswolds


Sue Andrews - 2019
    She is a horse-mad girl strongly attracted to the idea of farming, Aubrey is the son of a farm manager without land or money. But with limited knowledge, much enthusiasm and the challenge of raising their young family, anything can happen. This is the true story of a shepherding life; where icy nights are spent searching for lost sheep, the lambing sheds are filled with the first cries of newborns, and idyllic summers are spent in the show ring. Amusing, poignant and beautifully detailed, this is a book about how dreams can grow from small beginnings into breeding prize-winning Texel sheep in the Cotswolds. Sue and Aubrey Andrews are internationally renowned breeders of pedigree Texels. Perfect for fans of The Yorkshire Shepherdess and The Shepherd's Life.

More Confessions of a Hostie: The Second Sector


Danielle Hugh - 2013
    In this sequel to bestselling "Confessions of a Hostie," international flight attendant Danielle Hugh entertains and shocks in equal measure with more turbulent tales of life in the sky. Intense shopping, jetlag, poltergeist passengers, mile-high-club contenders and sick bags all put in an appearance, as do Danielle's 'earthling' boyfriend, Dean, her best friend, Helen, and her promiscuous fellow hostie, Mary-go-round. So, fasten your seatbelts, ensure your seat is fully upright, your tray-table stowed and join Danielle on her (sometimes) glamorous journey through life and relationships high above the clouds.

How To Tell Your Cat About Trump


Breaking Burgh - 2017
     Also for people who would have a cat but don't because of apartment rules or allergies, and people who don't like cats but dislike President Trump even more. Contents: Introduction; Is Your Cat A Secret Trump Supporter?; My Bastard Cat Is A Fan Of Trump – What Now?; Signs You Have A Nice Liberal Cat; Reassure Your Cat That Donald Trump Is Not Going To Grab It; Emphasize That None Of This Is Your Cat's Fault; My Cat Is A Persian - Should I be Worried?; What About Kitlers And Demonic Cats?

Best of The Bro Code and The Playbook


Matt Kuhn - 2012
    Offered for free by Apple and Touchstone, a trademark of Simon & Schuster Inc., contains selections from the two books mentioned in the title.

How to Change The Way You Think: Your Journey to Finding Happiness


Amy Sharp
    

True Believers: The Tragic Inner Life of Sports Fans


Joe Queenan - 2003
    But why do people root so passionately for tragically inept teams like the Boston Red Sox, the Chicago Cubs, and the Philadelphia Phillies? Why do people organize their emotional lives around lackluster franchises such as the Cleveland Cavaliers, the San Diego Padres, and the Phoenix Suns, none of whom have ever won a single championship in their entire history? Is it pure tribalism? An attempt to maintain contact with one's vanished childhood?In True Believers, humorist and lifelong Philly fan Joe Queenan answers these and many other questions, shedding light on--and reveling in--the culture and psychology of his countless fellow fans.

The Fall of the Roman Umpire


Ron Luciano - 1986
    Illustrated with 16 pages of photographs.

The Best Joke Book (Period): Hundreds of the Funniest, Silliest, Most Ridiculous Jokes Ever


William Donohue - 2014
    Inside, you'll find hundreds of jokes that are guaranteed to stir up a room full of smiles, including knock-knocks, witty puns, and one-liners. Complete with hilarious quotes from celebrities like Jon Stewart, Lewis Black, and Jerry Seinfeld, everyone will revel in each gut-busting moment.So whether you're looking to add a few jokes to your repertoire, impress your buds, or improve your banter, this sidesplitting book arms you with the perfect joke for any occasion!

Everybody Poops 410 Pounds a Year: An Illustrated Bathroom Companion for Grown-Ups


Deuce Flanagan - 2010
    . . when you were little, you learned that everyone poops. But did you ever discover how much? Well, sit down on that cold porcelain throne and get ready to laugh your butt off at the most amazing, hilarious, need-to-go facts on the one thing everyone does--but nobody talks about. Filled to the rim with piles of fascinating dirty fun, this illustrated kids' book for grown-ups answers all the questions you never thought to ask: •How do astronauts poop in space? •Where does poop go after you flush? •Why can I see the corn but not the chicken? •Can I light my poop on fire? •Who invented the first flushing toilet? •What's the poop on Michael Jackson, Elvis and John Wayne?

The Best Cat Book Ever: Super-Amazing, 100% Awesome


Kate Funk - 2014
    But really, why are you still reading this? Go on, see for yourself why this is truly the most awesome thing that will ever grace your bookshelves!

I Would Have Bought You A Cat , But... A Get Fuzzy Gift Book


Darby Conley - 2003
    It now appears in 250 newspapers, including the Los Angeles Times, San Francisco Examiner, Chicago Tribune, Boston Globe, Detroit Free Press, Philadelphia Inquirer, and Seattle Times. Readers can't get enough of the goofy trio that populate this hilarious strip: Rob Wilco, the single, mild-mannered advertising executive, and his two rambunctious pets, Bucky, the sharp-fanged, self-absorbed cat, and Satchel, the easygoing mixed-breed dog who ends up on the receiving end of Bucky's mischief. The combination creates Get Fuzzy's astutely witty take on relationships between the species.Now, in a size and format that's perfect for die-hard fans and those looking for the perfect gift, I Would Have Bought You a Cat, But . . . will become the must-have little treasure for everyone who craves a bit more of the trademark Get Fuzzy foolishness, or just enjoys a good chuckle.

Slim and None


Dan Jenkins - 2005
    A student of golf lore, Bobby Joe is well aware that only a small group of stars have ever won a major at his age or older, and among them are such immortals as Nicklaus, Boros, Irwin, and Trevino. It’s now or never for Bobby Joe, and excuse him for thinking that his chances are slim and none.So it’s off to the Masters, U.S. Open, British Open, and the rest of the PGA Tour for Bobby Joe, who’s leaving behind the prospect of a third ex-wife. On the golf courses he’ll face familiar competitors such as Knut Thorssun and Cheetah Farmer, but the rival who may loom the largest is the game’s newest child star, nineteen-year-old Scott Pritchard. His talents are the talk of the Tour—so is his arrogance—and so, by the way, is his stunning mom, Gwendolyn, a shapely adorable woman who captures Bobby Joe’s full attention and threatens not to let go. Long revered by his peers as one of the world’s best sportswriters, and beloved by readers for such classics as Semi-Tough and Dead Solid Perfect, Dan Jenkins is at the top of his form in Slim and None. It’s packed with authentic insider gems about each of the majors and hilarious sketches of many of the characters—touring pros, officials, media, agents, caddies, and ladies—who inhabit this outrageous and endearing world of sports.

Remember Me?: Loving and Caring for a Dog with Canine Cognitive Dysfunction


Eileen Anderson - 2015
    Remember Me? will give owners of dogs who have canine cognitive dysfunction or other dementia the information they need to weather the difficult condition and give their dogs the most fulfilling life possible. In Remember Me, you will learn about: The symptoms of canine cognitive dysfunction; Medications and other interventions that are showing promise in treating the condition; How to adapt your home and habits to keep your dog safe; The many products available to solve the problems of senior dogs; How to make things easier on yourself, physically and emotionally; and The complex question of euthanasia and how to make your own decision about it. The book includes more than 30 photos of dementia symptoms, tips and tricks, and hazards to avoid when caring for a senior dog. The story of Anderson’s small terrier Cricket, who developed dementia, is threaded through the book. As Cricket's dementia worsened she paced, she circled, she stood in corners, she forgot what she was doing, and at times she lost and found her owner repeatedly. For the last weeks of her life she even forgot how to drink water. As Cricket’s condition deteriorated and needs changed, Anderson learned about the disease and developed methods to care for her dog. She shares these methods in Remember Me? and her calm, conversational tone is soothing to dog owners who are suffering—sometimes more than their dogs.

Emergency Laughter: Stories of Humor Inside Ambulances and Operating Rooms


Mike Cyra - 2015
    Whether he's assisting trauma surgeons who are singing “Take me out to the ballgame” while removing a well-placed iconic symbol of America’s greatest past time, learning how fast he can run after being shot at by an angry couple who called for an ambulance, working with a prankster-loving urologist who demonstrates how bladder problems were diagnosed before modern urinalysis, or screaming like a little girl while doing night rounds with a dead flashlight on a psychiatric ward, Cyra’s comedic style of storytelling will make your cheeks sore. Emergency Laughter: Stories of Humor Inside Ambulances and Operating Rooms shows why most health care professionals have such a twisted sense of humor and how critical laughter is to the survival of both patient and care giver.

The Cat Who Went to Paris & A Cat Abroad: Two Volumes in One


Peter Gethers - 2001
    Then everything changed. Peter opened his heart to the Scottish Fold kitten and their adventures to Paris, Fire Island, and in the subways of Manhattan took on the color of legend and mutual love. The Cat Who Went to Paris proves that sometimes all it takes is paws and personality to change a life.In A Cat Abroad, Peter Gethers recounts the further adventures of Norton, the extraordinary cat with the great Scottish Fold ears, who finds new worlds and people to conquer. Norton, who charmed even the most avowed cat haters with his antics in the best-selling The Cat Who Went to Paris, now hightails it to the south of France - stopping off all over Europe along the way - for a year with his favorite human. As always, Norton astounds those around him with his calm, uncatlike demeanor and succeeds in becoming the object of everyone's affections. In America, Norton goes on the TV talk-show circuit, finds himself on the "A" list of desirable celebrities who stay at the ultra-chic Four Seasons Hotel in Los Angeles, and is the star of a party at Spago, where superstar chef Wolfgang Puck presents him with a Pounce pizza. When Norton and Peter tour the Continent, Norton leaves his mark on Paris, where he encounters five not-so-friendly dogs and a devious chef; Italy, where he almost starts a war over an uneaten sardine; Holland, where he tours the canals; the Swiss Alps, where he has his first raclette dinner; and, of course, Provence, where over the course of a year he hikes in the mountains, makes friends with a goatherder (and his goats), dines in three-star restaurants, and, generally, becomes the most recognizable new inhabitant of the area since Peter Mayle decided to leave London. Along the way, Norton and his human companion face change and learn to understand the problems and the pleasures that come with growing up and growing older together. Like its predecessor, A Cat Abroad is funny, touching, and wise.