It’s only funny if you aren’t the hilarious struggling comedian who has been hired to be his son’s nanny for the stand-up tour.Dear Ms. Hogan,I’m emailing to offer you the job as my son’s nanny because Sam had a temper tantrum when I told him I can’t hire you to come on my stand-up tour with us. “She heckled me at a club a few years ago,” I wanted to say. “She is the sassy little turd who trolls me on Twitter,” I could have told him. “She’s an even bigger pain in the butt when we’re face-to-face,” I thought to myself. What I would never tell him is—things could get complicated. For reasons. Let me know if you want the job.With great reluctance,Owen#AdorableHowObsessedYouAreWithMeDear Mr. Brodie,Thank you for your email. Please inform Sam that I like him very much and would love to be his nanny and accompany him on your terrible joke of a stand-up tour. I can assure you—things will not get complicated. For many, many reasons.Primarily because Owen Brodie isn’t funny, and he can suck it.Out of financial desperation and a fondness for your son,Frankie#GetOverYourselfPrettyBoy

    He has everything planned: his sister is engaged, and now plans to select his duchess from a list of eligible debutantes. The last thing he expects is his sister to go missing a few weeks before her wedding!Lady Theodosia Winfern is upset when a devilishly attractive duke accuses her of persuading his sister to run from her duties. He declares that Theo won’t leave his side (even if it means sleeping in his chamber) until his sister is found Theo has little choice but to go along with his scandalous demands. The last thing she wants is the powerful duke as her enemy, especially as he knows about her secret lady’s club!Both are quick to deny the increasingly fiery attraction between them until temptation becomes irresistible and passion can no longer be denied…

    After she has a run-in with an intruder, her daughter wants her to move in to a residential home. But she’s not having any of it. What she craves—what she needs—is adventure.Liza is drowning under the daily stress of family life. The last thing she needs is her mother jetting off on a wild holiday, making Liza long for a solo summer of her own.Martha is having a quarter-life crisis. Unemployed, unloved and uninspired, she just can’t get her life together. But she knows something has to change.When Martha sees Kathleen’s advertisement for a driver and companion to share an epic road trip across America, she decides this job might be the answer to her prayers. She’s not the world’s best driver, but anything has to be better than living with her parents. And traveling with a stranger? No problem. Anyway, how much trouble can one eighty-year-old woman be?As these women embark on the journey of a lifetime, they all discover it’s never too late to start over.

    At least, that’s what Lady Carlotta Merritt, sister to the cool and aloof Duke of Cashingham, has been told repeatedly by her mother. The Dowager is beyond thrilled about her daughter’s engagement to Society’s most eligible bachelor, Lord What’s-His-Face. Carlotta, on the other hand, would much rather be gallivanting around her brother’s Yorkshire estate, falling out of trees or fishing in the streams or reading one of her naughty books in the shade on a summer day.But her mother has made it very clear that she’s to behave herself, as befitting the sister of a duke, and Carlotta has been trying, honest. But when Mother is called up to Scotland, she invites Carlotta and her fiancé to follow…sans chaperone. That’s when her brother volunteers his own brother-in-law—the illegitimate Scotsman with a charming grin, a wicked reputation, and battered hands which make Carlotta think all sorts of wicked thoughts—to tag along. And he knows all the best ways to be wild. Keith Oliphant knows exactly who he is; the natural-born son of an earl, a close friend to the laird of his clan, and the best damned bare-knuckled boxer in all of England and Scotland combined. These hands of his have done things most men can only imagine, and now they face their biggest challenge yet; holding the safety of a duke’s sister, one whose smile and love of adventure make him yearn for things he can’t have. Especially since she’s engaged to the complete clot-heid who is sitting between them in the coach.Aye, this journey to Scotland will be a difficult one, despite the opulence of traveling with a duke’s sister. Between his impossible desires, Lord What’s-His-Face the fiancé, and Carlotta’s own wild streak, Keith suspects he’s facing his biggest challenge yet: when he delivers Carlotta to the duke, will she still be a virgin?Warning: There’s naughty bits. A lot of them. And probably some ridiculously contrived accidents to get the pair of them together sans clothes. And of course, plenty of inappropriate jokes and eye-rollingly bad puns. Get ready for another hilarious Victorian RomCom, with all the best laughs you’ve come to expect from Caroline Lee!

    Michael Straczynski. Mark Antonelli, a failed young writer looking down the barrel at thirty, is planning a cross-country road trip. He buys a beat-up old tour bus. He hires a young army vet to drive it. He puts out an ad for others to join him along the way. But this will be a road trip like no other: His passengers are all fellow disheartened souls who have decided that this will be their final journey—upon arrival in San Francisco, they will find a cliff with an amazing view of the ocean at sunset, hit the gas, and drive out of this world. The unlikely companions include a young woman with a chronic pain sensory disorder and another who was relentlessly bullied at school for her size; a bipolar, party-loving neo-hippie; a gentle coder with a literal hole in his heart and blue skin; and a poet dreaming of a better world beyond this one. We get to know them through access to their texts, emails, voicemails, and the daily journal entries they write as the price of admission for this trip. By turns tragic, funny, quirky, charming, and deeply moving, Together We Will Go explores the decisions that brings these characters together, and the relationships that grow between them, with some discovering love and affection for the first time. But as they cross state lines and complications to the initial plan arise, it becomes clear that this is a novel as much about the will to live as the choice to end it. The final, unforgettable moments as they hurtle toward the decisions awaiting them will be remembered for a lifetime.

    When she calls me to let me know that she’s about to get married and needs me at her ceremony in five days, how could I refuse? Just one problem. These winter storms have all the flights cancelled. Luckily for me, I’m not the only person desperate to get to that wedding. Kirsten’s dad, whom I’ve never met, is waiting outside my apartment, willing to drive me across the country so neither of us miss the wedding.By New York, I learn that Henry James is the smuggest British man I have ever met.In Chicago, he makes me question every single life choice I’ve made.It’s in Denver that we finally break the forbidden rules between us. By the time we reach Vegas, my best friend may never want to speak to me again—because I’ve fallen head over heels for her dad.

    She would rather go through life with minimal interaction than learn to open up and trust others; keeping her emotional scars in the front of her mind so she won’t get hurt. When a visit back to her hometown doesn’t bring the answers or closure she’s yearned for, she wonders if she’ll ever be made whole again.While in town Sarah meets Kate, a professor at the local community college. The instant connection she feels with Kate confuses and scares her, but it also gives her a glimpse of a life she wished she could have. Will Sarah finally find it within herself to conquer her fears and pursue the life she’s always wanted but thought she could never have?Content warning: This novel deals with alcoholism and references a suicide, an abortion and a rape. They all occur off-page and are only mentioned as backstory with no graphic detail.

    When a bouquet of flowers that her husband always sends on their anniversary shows up at her workplace, she completely unravels. With the help of her best friend, she realizes that it's time to pick up the pieces and begin to move on. Step one is not even cleaning out her family's possessions, but just taking inventory starting with her daughter's room. But when she opens her daughter's computer, she stumbles across a program her daughter has created detailing an automated cross-country road trip, for her and her husband to take as soon-to-be empty nesters.Seeing and hearing the video clips of her kids embedded in the program, Miriam is determined to take this trip for her children. Armed with her husband's guitar, her daughter's cello, and her son's unfinished piano sonata, she embarks on a musical pilgrimage to grieve the family she fears she never loved enough. Along the way she meets a young, pregnant hitchhiker named Dicey, whose boisterous and spunky attitude reminds Miriam of her own daughter.Tornadoes, impromptu concerts, and an unlikely friendship...whether she's prepared for it or not, Miriam's world is coming back to life. But as she struggles to keep her focus on the reason she set out on this journey, she has to confront the possibility that the best way to honor her family may be to accept the truths she never wanted to face.Hopeful, honest, and tender, A Song for the Road is about courage, vulnerability, and forgiveness, even of yourself, when it really matters.

    Whatever happens, she will make friends at any cost.When she finds the friends she’s always dreamed of, including an actual boyfriend, she’s happier than she’s ever been.But when they let her down in the worst way, Peyton is left no better off than when she started.Now Peyton knows the only chance she has of finding happiness is to look for it somewhere else. Her life may feel small, but it doesn't have to be. With nothing but her sketchpad and a backpack, she buys a one-way ticket and gets on a plane. . .

    The three band members, Sarin, Vee-Exx, and Arsenic travel the country playing their dark brand of music for screaming fans. Their violent lyrics and goth style draw people to them. But, something else is drawing people to the mysterious trio...something sinister. They feed off the energy of the crowd, but desire something more: blood. Cameron Snyder is an outcast. His love of death metal, extreme horror and his home life have left him on the fringes of high school society. When a prank goes too far, Cameron decides he's had enough. A relic of his dead father calls to him; a Colt 1911 handgun. He knows his life is not worth living, but can there be salvation? He then discovers a secret involving one of his favorite bands. A secret that could lead to immortality... or death. Nestor and Cyril Visser run a private investigation business. A man shows up one day with a strange request, a deep knowledge of their past, and unlimited money. His request: find his son's killers and execute them. There's a catch though, he thinks the killers are vampires. A Gift of Death combines heavy metal, revenge and bloodshed galore. "Volpe's work is mind-blowing! He's one of the most original new writers in the horror field!" Edward Lee--author of The Bighead "F**k you, Stephanie Meyers! This is how you write a vampire book." John Cady, author

    When a sudden discovery changes her perspective of existence, she decides to hit the road in search of the one thing she’s been needing all these years—herself. Ahead of her is nothing but the open road, her agenda, and a famous rockstar? Rhett Kennedy has a silver lining heart. One that gets him in trouble more often than not. Having lost touch with his music, he doesn’t think twice about bombarding Quinn on her trip of self-discovery. Rhett is looking for music. Quinn is looking for herself. Together, they’ll find laughter, heartache, a little courage and if they’re not careful, very thing that makes the world go round—— Love

    They decide to honor her memory by living out one of Mom's lifelong dreams, taking a road trip, and selling pies out of a newly-acquired food truck.

    

    Three years ago, before their family moved from California to Tennessee, Olivia and Ruth buried a time capsule on their favorite beach. Now, they’re taking an RV back across the country to uncover the memories they left behind. But Ruth’s depression has been getting worse, so Olivia has created a plan to help her remember how life used to be: a makeshift scavenger hunt across the country, like pirates hunting for treasure, taking pictures and making memories along the way.All she wants is to take the picture that makes her sister smile. But what if things can never go back to how they used to be? What if they never find the treasure they’re seeking? Through all the questions, loving her sister, not changing her, is all Olivia can do—and maybe it’s enough.

    It’s not her fault our dance instructor called me fat and awkward, and our parents funded Lisa’s training because I had a better head for business.So when Lisa went off the rails after her injury, it naturally came to me to track her down. The trail starts at the Spearmint Rhino —an upscale gentlemen’s club five minutes off the Las Vegas strip, where a group of hot Aussie soccer players are having a bachelor party. Hello, Chance Bateman! My sister still wears his jersey as a nightgown. However, Lisa's trail goes cold at Dalton’s, which is owned by a world-famous bouncer, Miles Carvello—six feet four inches of muscle, tattoos, and swagger. Combined with his intense green-eyed gaze, Miles makes my insides sizzle. I’m just not sure if Miles Carvello is the reason she’s hiding out or not. Danger seems to surround him.How does a former Broadway hoofer wind up in Vegas as a stripper? I’m about to find out, since no one will talk to me because I’m an outsider. And besides, Miles thinks I’m too much of a prude to do it.I need to find my sister. She’s in trouble. I can feel it. I keep running into the bachelor party as well as Miles while I'm out searching for her. And while both of them are a good time, they're not getting me any closer to finding Lisa. And I've got a terrible feeling that her time is running out. ***I don’t remember Jackie Mitchell’s sister. Just another stripper with baggage in a long line of them. But Jackie? Damn, she’s the real deal. I don’t want to get distracted. I need to shoot this club into the stratosphere. I owe it to my uncle’s memory not to let the gangsters win. But she oozes sensuality that reminds me that I should take time to enjoy the finer things in life – like her long, toned legs wrapped around my shoulders.However, the demons of my past are pushing into my future. If they’re going after my employees, as a way to get to me —they picked the wrong guy to mess with. And if they touch Jackie, all bets are off and I’ll put them in the ground—and to hell with the consequences. ***Tough Guy takes place a year before the events of Cocky Bastard and features a few appearances by our favorite Aussie soccer player, Chance Bateman before he meets the love of his life, Aubrey.

    It’s like a compass and I tune in to the needle often: trust/don’t trust, run/stay … I can’t read the needle right now. The warmth of the room is clouding my judgment.In the midst of a nuclear winter, Lucy, Fin and Max flee the chaos of Sydney with blood on their clothes, a gun and handwritten directions to safety. When they reach Wattlewood, it seems like their struggle to survive might be over. There is food, warmth and adults in charge. So why can’t Lucy shake the feeling they’re still in danger?Lucy’s survived the apocalypse, but can she escape a more insidious threat?

    Having overstayed her welcome and desperate for a job, Ruthie responds to David’s ad: he’s looking for someone to drive his aging mother, Kay, and her belongings from PEI to Vancouver. Ruthie thinks it’s the perfect chance for a brief escape and a much-needed boost for her empty bank account.But once they’re on the road, Kay reveals that she’s got a list of stops along the way that’s equal parts sightseeing tour, sexual bucket-list, and trip down memory lane. As David prods for updates and a speedy arrival to his home in Vancouver, Kay begins to share details about a long-lost love and Ruthie takes a detour to play matchmaker, but finds herself caught up in a web of well-intentioned lies.With the road ahead uncertain, and the past and present colliding, will Ruthie be able to forge a new path? Heartfelt and humorous, The List of Last Chances follows a pair of reluctant travel companions across the country, into an unexpected friendship, new adventures, and the rare gift of second chances.

    From Jess Butterworth comes another beautifully written adventure set on top of a super volcano, about coming to terms with grief, letting go of anger at the world and finding hope and joy in the most unexpected of places.Vivi and Seb live halfway across the world from each other, living completely separate lives, until a terrible event unexpectedly makes their paths collide.Seb's best friend Clay was injured in a shooting, and Seb believes there's a rainbow pool in the heart of Yellowstone National Park that will help heal him heal.Meanwhile, Vivi is feeling lost, wishing she could find a way to honour her grandmother, who didn't survive the same shooting.When they meet at the memorial and Seb tells Vivi what he wants to do, Vivi is convinced that her grandmother would have wanted her to go with Seb to help his friend.But the park is filled with dangerous creatures, and when Seb is injured in one of the volcanic springs, it becomes a race for survival as they try and make their wish and find their way out of the wilderness.Told through multiple viewpoints and set between the US and the UK, this is another heartfelt middle grade adventure from award-winning author Jess Butterworth

    . . One of the most humane and challenging memoirs to come out of the Midwest . . . Indeed, we are all more than heroes and villains, and Jamison does a great job of showing how and where our humanity gets lost between the two.”-- Ashley C. Ford, author of Somebody’s Daughter and host of the HBO podcast Lovecraft Country Radio J.R. Jamison spends his days in a world of trigger warnings and safe spaces, while his trigger-happy dad, Dave, spends his questioning why Americans have become so sensitive. Yet at the height of the 2016 election, the two decide to put political differences aside and travel to rural Missouri for Dave’s fifty-five year class reunion. But with the constant backdrop of the Trump vs. Clinton battle at every turn, they are forced to explore one formidable question: Will the trip push them further apart or bring them closer together? Traveling through the rural, sun-beaten landscapes of Missouri the two meet people along the way who challenge their concepts of right and wrong, and together they uncover truths about their family’s past that reveals more than political differences, they discover a lesson on the human condition that lands them on the international pages of The Guardian.Hillbilly Queer is an enduring love story between a dad and son who find that sometimes the differences between us aren't really that different at all.“One of those rare books that finds beauty in the irreconcilable. In an age when our politics and our nation can feel broken, Hillbilly Queer shows us the messy glue of love that still holds families together.”-- Samantha Allen, author of Real Queer America

    

    But their plans are foiled when a famous vase is stolen from the Greenwood Cemetery. And all evidence points to Ruth Rose's grandmother as the culprit! Is she really a criminal? It's up to Dink, Josh, and Ruth Rose to clear her name.Help Dink, Josh, and Ruth Rose solve mysteries from A to Z! From The Absent Author to The Zombie Zone, there's a mystery for every letter of the alphabet, plus super editions with even more A to Z fun. And don't miss Ron Roy's series for younger readers, Calendar Mysteries!

    Again. And to complicate matters, she is now the only one who can take care of her super-smart and on-the-spectrum nine-year-old stepbrother, Conor.Is there anyone Mari can trust to help them? Certainly not her mother’s current boyfriend, Dennis. Not the doctors or her teachers, who would be obliged to call in social services. So in a desperate move, Mari takes Conor and sets out to find their estranged grandmother, hoping to throw themselves at the mercy of the only person who might take them in.On their way to New England, the duo experiences the snarls of LA traffic, the backroads of the Midwest, and a monumental stop in Missouri where they witness the solar eclipse, an event with which Conor is obsessed. Mari also learns about the inner workings of her stepbrother’s mind and about her connections to him and to the world…and maybe even a little about her own place in it.

    He ditched his girlfriend to go on tour with that girl with the bangs. On the open road, can we start over, or do our secrets eventually catch up with us?In 2001 when boybands and thongs have assaulted pop culture, two college dropouts form a band. In the basement. When Carla runs into Pete, the aloof French kid in town, the two form a secret connection that goes deeper than the music. Before heading out on their greasy dive bar cross-country tour, tragedy turns the world upside down forcing them to face adulthood and decide if the band is just a teenage dream or a gateway to freedom....and to each other?Slanted and Disenchanted is a punk coming-of-age novel by debut author Lisa Czarina Michaud. Told with conversational wit with quirky '90s pop culture references and rock snob winks, it's High Fidelity meets On the Road with elements of Patti Smith's Just Kids that explores sexual tension in friendships, the confusion of adulting, the love and chaos of family...and the soundtracks that get us through it all.

    They decide to go where the dead can’t follow–their family cabin on a remote island–but they have to fight their way out of the city first.Facing the dangers of this new world, both living and dead, is hard enough, but the couple also has to deal with Kit’s severe Myalgic Encephalomyelitis. It can throw a wrench into the simplest of plans, and Kit’s fear that the sickness may be the death of her seems more a reality for every day.Despite the odds stacked against them, Shadia and Kit are ready to fight for their survival and for each other.

     After eleven-year-old June Ball's dad disappears without so much as a goodbye note, June's mother sends him on the road with his adult cousins, mechanics Thomas and Cornell Ball. The Balls are "Ford Men"; their calling in life is to restore old Ford cars--and only Ford cars--that no longer run. And so begins a summer traveling the highways and byways of America, encountering busted-up Fairlanes, Thunderbirds, and Rancheros. They also encounter the cars' owners, who sometimes need fixing up, too.June doesn't understand his cousins' passion for all things Ford. But at every turn, June realizes that this journey is about more than giving neglected classic cars some much-needed TLC--there's room to care for the broken parts of humans, too.

    But he’s not throwing a half-starved kid to the wolves… Eddie Houston wears the Blackwater Renegades MC “Nomad” rocker, serving as the club’s eyes and ears out west. Otherwise, the ex-convict junkyard picker and bouncer keeps to himself. He owes nobody, and he likes it that way. When a scruffy, half-starved kid with defiant blue eyes and an attitude to match is left on his doorstep, Eddie knows for sure “Lucky” ain’t his. And he ain’t no do-gooder. But the girl needs help, and his MC brothers will know what to do. Besides, while he’s visiting the club, he’s likely to find a hot woman to break his long, cold, dry spell. A dangerous biker’s arms could be the safest place for her heart… Vivi Sinclair, new hire at Blackwater, Kentucky’s battered women’s shelter, has come to the MC’s party looking for a little adventure on the edge. The rough-around-the-edges biker at the bar is just what she needs, and soon the night is headed for a red-hot climax. But when Lucky is kidnapped, Vivi has seconds to make a choice. Stay safely behind, or jump in Wes’s truck and help him get the girl back. So begins a wild ride where Vivi has to decide where the greatest danger lies – the kidnappers, or the hardcore biker with blood in his eye.

    But Kimbo didn't die - he's been on death row ever since, leaving Taj in a weird limbo, unable to look to his own future. When the election of a new President leads to a date being set for Kimbo's execution, Taj realises there is only one course of action left to him- bust his dad out of jail. What follows is the whirlwind ride of father and son on the run through Indonesia, authorities hot on their tail. As events unravel, Taj uncovers some startling truths about his family, his girlfriend, and the girl he is rapidly falling for.