A high school student leaves his parents' home to live on his own with friends and with the help of government aid. The narrator becomes your best friend on the first page.

    There was garbage all over. Any job I'd ever had involved garbage. I had been, and always would be, a garbageman. And yes, I took great pride in my garbage pedigree. It was my calling. My very meaning. Something dripped on my head. I touched my head. Thick, dark-green gel on my hand--like pureed spinach. Oh hello! I was just talking about you to someone! The stories in this collection take us on a journey to the rat-infested dive bars, restaurant kitchens, and alleys of Sam Pink's Chicago. Here our protagonist stacks kegs and cleans up puke. He unclogs toilets and breaks up fights. He fantasizes about killing his landlord. He impersonates a doctor to adopt a kitten. He has exact change for a sports drink. He watches a car wreck and eats a burrito. A pigeon eats a cigarette butt. A sandwich maker scratches himself with the tip of a knife. Welcome to the garbage times, where you best just shut the hell up and do what you have to do.

     Every action has a consequence and this is the aftermath. My name is Kara Petersen. I am one of life’s survivors, but my life has not been easy. I am the product of a dysfunctional, broken home and parents who don’t care. Fallen from grace, abandoned and betrayed, I am now alone. Then there was hope. A boy, a saviour. He saved me, empowered me, and gave me the strength and courage to leave. To live. His actions will not be in vain. I will do whatever it takes to survive. My name is Sloan Foster. I am one of life’s failures, but my life has not been fair. I am the product of a loving home, a mother and father who adored each other, until death paved the way for the devil. Trapped inside a world with a gilded façade, I have always felt alone. Then there was hope. A girl, an angel, a beacon of pure light in the dark. She subconsciously called to me, reached deep into my soul, unknowingly claiming a part of myself I had let die years ago. I promised I would do whatever it took to be her protector. My promises were unachievable and futile. I will do whatever it takes to find her again. Please note this is a 36,000 word novella, chronicling the lives of Kara and Sloan and the ‘missing’ eight years. It is not a continuation of the present story, and should be read after Fractured and Tormented.

    I" contains the early masterpieces by the greatest minimalist writer ever to hail from Youngstown, Ohio. Collecting Noah Cicero's most acclaimed and popular works, this volume includes the short novels "The Human War" (soon to be a major motion picture), "The Doomed," "The Condemned," and "Burning Babies," along with rare novellas and short stories that have not been available to the public in years. Stark in their beauty, raw in their sadness, and driven by a desperate compulsion to save - and be saved by - humanity, "The Collected Works of Noah Cicero Vol. I" highlights what it is to be young and poor in America. Buy this book and learn why freedom is good. Buy this book and become beautiful. Buy this book and know that the distance between you and happiness is the distance between you and the nearest Denny's. So get in the car and drive.

    Who is the mysterious man in the brown suit? What does he want from her? Is there any wine in the fridge?As her life descends into chaos, Kelly’s questions lead her along a twisting path towards the truth — a truth she could never have imagined.

     Meet Wally Moscowitz. His day job is top secret. As ghostwriter for Oral B, the most famous gangsta rapper in the world, Wally is the real mastermind behind Godz-Illa Records' best-selling artist, and the best-kept secret in the Industry. But if word gets out about Wally's true profession, Godz-Illa's kajillion-dollar rap empire will be sunk, and Wally will be dead meat. When Wally comes home one particularly bizarre afternoon to find a ransom note and his best friend and dog, Dr. Barry Schwartzman, missing, Wally goes to great lengths to stop the dognappers while keeping the big secret under wraps. He must, if he wants to walk away with his job, not to mention his life, intact. The hunt for Dr. Schwartzman and the blackmailing thug who is trying to reveal hip-hop's biggest conspiracy becomes a wild-goose chase in which everyone becomes a suspect: Sue Schadenfreude, Wally's girlfriend, who makes a pretty penny massaging Barbra Streisand's papillon, Yenta; Pardeep Vishvatma, Wally's neighbor, who keeps a watchful eye on all the suspicious characters lurking about the hood; Jerry Silver, Wally's slick-rick, self-styled superagent; Abraham "Dandy" Lyons, Wally's boss and Godz-Illa's CEO-badass with Suge Knight's street cred and Tony Soprano's "friends"; Jem, the fiery, achingly familiar vixen who steals Wally's heart; Yo Yo Pa and Teddy Bizzle, Oral B's entourage; and the mysterious mob crew: Five-two Lou, Six-seven Kevin, and Balsamic Vinny, who show up when Wally needs them most. Duck Duck Wally is a hilarious romp through the absurdities of Los Angeles, the bombastic details of hip-hop culture, and a day in the life of what was supposed to be the painfully ordinary existence of Wally Moscowitz.

    After his life spirals out of control, a young man navigates a world of juggalos, transients, and petty criminals with Shane, an enigmatic small-time drug dealer with a penchant for body modification.

    Peter Serafinowicz's Questions and Answers is a showcase for the razor wit and joyful nonsense of one of Britain's cleverest comedians, firing back genuinely funny instant replies to a stream of questions from the general public. This book collects together several hundred jokes from Peter's store of one-liners in a stylish, faux-Victorian, gifty hardback, just in time for Christmas. 'Peter Serafinowicz is hilarious' David Walliams' 'It's funny, but Peter Serafinowicz is the kind of funny person that funny people find funny' Simon Pegg 'Peter Serafinowicz is one of the funniest women in the world' Derren Brown

    In each hole is a random consumer product. Mano Medium, a sensitive, young cigarette-factory worker in love, does his part by quitting the factory to work double-time as Pie Time's replacement barber and butcher, and by holding the things found in the holes of the newly dead. However, the more people die, the bigger Mano becomes.br>XO, the power-hungry corporation bent on overtaking Pie Time, and Father Mothers, the bumbling priest, have their own ideas about how to capitalize on God's Finger. By contrast, and powered by honoring his own lost loves, Mano fights to resist this exploitation by teaching death to those who can't afford to survive it. As Pie Time and Mano both grow irrevocably, Mano must make a decision about how he can best fit into his own life.br>With a large cast of unusual characters, each struggling with their own complex and tangled relationships to death, money, and love, Mammother is a fabulist's tale of how we hold on and how we let go in a rapidly growing world.

    For now, he’s squatting in a collapsing house, working as a stone mason, driving a jacked up pickup truck that he crashes into everything. As a close friend Ods in his sleep, Lee falls into a three-way relationship with two college girls, June Doom and K Neon. F250 is a novel equal parts about growing up, and being torn apart."Bud Smith is Nick Hornby if you strapped him to a Tesla coil and launched him into a Sun made of Poetry." --Ben Loory, author of Stories for Nighttime and some for the Day

    While she’s attended youth gatherings and singings in the past, something feels just a little bit different now. As the eldest child, she has a lot of responsibilities, especially with her aging grandparents living in the smaller house attached to the Riehls’ farmhouse and with Drusilla's mother expecting a baby soon. Follow the story of this young Amish woman as she comes of age in the springtime of her life, balancing her commitment to faith, family, and friends. The Amish Seasons Series, a four-part series, follows the story of Drusilla Riehl as she passes through the seasons of life. The first of a four book series, An Amish Spring introduces readers to the Riehl family and their Amish community, both Amish and Mennonite, and will be sure to delight as you learn more about the Amish religion and culture from Sarah Price, one of the leading bestselling authors of Amish Christian fiction who bases her stories and books on authentic experience growing up Mennonite and living among the Amish. Approximately 110 pages

    After more than thirty years of being asked the same question—"Why don't you give us some good news for a change?"—veteran television news anchor Bruce Lindsay obliges us with humorous and heartwarming stories from the idyllic town that we believe we grew up in—or wished we did. Inspired from the stories found in real small-town newspapers, Bruce Lindsay introduces us to the down-to-earth, foible-filled characters from Parley's Grove—folks who can make the mundane mesmerizing and the absurd endearing. Warm, poignant, and always hilarious, these affectionate vignettes of small-town life will help you remember who you are and where you're from.

    She's the only one to blame and takes full responsibility for the lack of commitment he's shown throughout their time together. As another year rolls around, and their fifth anniversary approaches, Earth decides that she can no longer withstand his ill-treatment and the neglecting of her deepest desires. She conjures a plan and, strategically, dismantles Premise from his core with a simple tap of her finger and flick of her wrist. For Premise, the term, "What you won't do, another will," doesn't quite hold relevance in his life until he's on the receiving end of indescribable pain caused by the woman he thought would continue to wait in vain until he noticed her.

     Fresh from Duck Soup (1933), Julius, Leonard, Arthur and Herbert Marx - or as the world knows them, Groucho, Chico, Harpo and Zeppo - are transported by a freak electrical storm to Nacogdoches, Texas in the year 1826. Landing in the midst of the Fredonian Rebellion (the first attempt by settlers in Texas to secede from Mexico) and into the company of the only other Jewish person in town, they are in deep dreck. Falling in with Stephen F. Austin and inadvertently filling his head with knowledge of what is to come, our heroes risk tampering with the future of Texas, and perhaps the entire U.S.A., in their quest to return to their own time. Will they find their way back? Or will they be doomed to live out their lives without indoor plumbing?

    Try something new. Buy a pair of heels. Get a promotion. Fall in love. Seems simple, especially when Christine meets Patrick, the man who could be Mr. Right. He's got the right credentials: a job, a sense of humor, a love of all things Indiana Jones, and best of all, he's actually taller than Christine. But busy schedules take over and gets in the way of Patrick and Christine's budding romance. Life interferes, as it has a way of doing, and Christine wants to throw in the towel. Is the magic of the Christmas season enough to renew Christine's faith in love?