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Perfect Behavior by Donald Ogden Stewart
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Roll Me Up and Smoke Me When I Die: Musings from the Road
Willie Nelson - 2012
Willie riffs on everything: music, wives, Texas, politics, horses, religion, marijuana, children, the environment, poker, hogs, Nashville, karma, and more. He shares the outlaw wisdom he has acquired over eight decades, along with favorite jokes and insights from friends and others close to him. Rare family pictures, beautiful artwork created by his son Micah Nelson, and lyrics to classic songs punctuate these charming and poignant memories. Willie Nelson has touched millions, and none more deeply than his family, friends, and bandmates, several of whom share, for the first time, intimate stories about the Red Headed Stranger.From teaching a granddaughter to play the guitar to touring with the Highwaymen, from picking cotton while growing up in Texas to being home with the tribe on Maui, Willie takes you on the tour bus and, through candid observations and vivid recollections, gives you a front-row seat to his remarkable world. But beware: "You know you shouldn't be reading this BS, it could ruin you for all time to come," he says. "You could end up a social outcast like me, an outlaw!"At once a road journal written in his inimitable, homespun voice and a fitting tribute to America's greatest traveling bard, Roll Me Up and Smoke Me When I Die—introduced by Kinky Friedman, another favorite son of Texas—is a deeply personal look into the heart and soul of a unique man and one of the greatest artists of our time, a songwriter and performer whose legacy will endure for generations to come.
A Moveable Feast
Ernest Hemingway - 1964
Looking back not only at his own much younger self, but also at the other writers who shared Paris with him - James Joyce, Wyndham Lewis, Scott and Zelda Fitzgerald - he recalls the time when, poor, happy, and writing in cafes, he discovered his vocation. Written during the last years of Hemingway's life, his memoir is a lively and powerful reflection of his genius that scintillates with the romance of the city.
Buttered Side Down: Short Stories
Edna Ferber - 1912
After the glamour had worn off, and the glass slippers were worn out, did the Prince never find Cinderella's manner redolent of the kitchen hearth; and was it never necessary that he remind her to be more careful of her finger-nails and grammar? After Puss in Boots had won wealth and a wife for his young master did not that gentleman often fume with chagrin because the neighbors, perhaps, refused to call on the lady of the former poor miller's son? It is a great risk to take with one's book-children. These stories make no such promises. They stop just short of the phrase of the old story writers, and end truthfully, thus: And so they lived. E. F.(Summary from the Foreword to "Buttered Side Down".)
Every Time I Find the Meaning of Life, They Change It: Wisdom of the Great Philosophers on How to Live
Daniel Klein - 2015
. . Daniel Klein’s fans have fallen in love with the warm, humorous, and thoughtful way he shows how philosophy resonates in everyday life. Readers of his popular books Plato and a Platypus Walk into a Bar . . . and Travels with Epicurus come for enlightenment and stay for the entertainment.As a young college student studying philosophy, Klein filled a notebook with short quotes from the world’s greatest thinkers, hoping to find some guidance on how to live the best life he could. Now, from the vantage point of his eighth decade, Klein revisits the wisdom he relished in his youth with this collection of philosophical gems, adding new ones that strike a chord with him at the end of his life. From Epicurus to Emerson and Camus to the theologian Reinhold Niebuhr—whose words provided the title of this book—each pithy extract is annotated with Klein’s inimitable charm and insights. In these pages, our favorite jokester–philosopher tackles life’s biggest questions, leaving us chuckling and enlightened.
Sketches of Young Couples
Charles Dickens - 1843
Considered one of the English language's greatest writers, he was acclaimed for his rich storytelling and memorable characters, and achieved massive worldwide popularity in his lifetime. The popularity of his novels and short stories has meant that not one has ever gone out of print. Dickens wrote serialised novels, the usual format for fiction at the time, and each new part of his stories was eagerly anticipated by the reading public. Among his best-known works are Sketches by Boz (1836), The Pickwick Papers (1837), Oliver Twist (1838), Nicholas Nickleby (1839), Barnaby Rudge (1841), A Christmas Carol (1843), Martin Chuzzlewit (1844), David Copperfield (1850), Bleak House (1853), Little Dorrit (1857), A Tale of Two Cities (1859), Great Expectations (1861) and Our Mutual Friend (1865).
Eighty Years and More: Reminiscences, 1815-1897
Elizabeth Cady Stanton - 2002
Stanton devoted her life to the cause of advancing the political, legal, and social standing of women, and she became its most eloquent spokesperson. Whereas Susan B. Anthony, her "steadfast friend for half a century," had a gift for organizing and mobilizing women to take action, Stanton's talent was for publicizing the key issues of the movement and speech writing. This talent is evident on every page of this autobiography, which records as much about the cause that was her life's work as it does about her personal reminiscences.Here she vividly describes the momentous occasion of organizing the Seneca Falls Convention in the summer of 1848, her first speech before the New York State legislature, the preparation and delivery (by Susan B. Anthony) of the Woman's Declaration of Rights at the national centennial celebration in Philadelphia in 1876, writing the History of Woman Suffrage and The Woman's Bible, plus her views on theology, marriage, and divorce, as well as reminiscences of her parents, husband, and seven children. Two chapters are devoted to Susan B. Anthony, and there are many anecdotes about Lucretia Mott, Matilda Joslyn Gage, and other leading feminists of the day.This fascinating account of history in the making conveys the amazing commitment of all of these pioneering women's rights advocates, against the indifference and derision of what seemed to be a hopelessly patriarchal society. Through it all Stanton displays an unflagging, exuberant optimism and the determination that the noble goal to which she dedicated her life would someday be accomplished.This unabridged edition is enhanced by an introduction by Denise M. Marshall, trustee of the Elizabeth Cady Stanton Foundation.
The History of England
Jane Austen - 1791
She sees nothing reprehensible in Richard III, yet burns with contempt for Elizabeth I, and documents several reigns with breezy nonchalance.This volume also contains 'Lesley Castle', a delightful and often hilarious correspondence detailing the mishaps and misapprehensions that befall five young ladies.
Pigs Is Pigs
Ellis Parker Butler - 1905
This hilarious tale of bureaucracy run amok at the Interurban Express Company, and exponential growth of the Guinea pig population shows what can happen when ignorance and bureaucrats get together and decide its fate when anyone with just plain common sense can solve the problem in less than one minute. Ellis Parker Butler (1869-1937) was a native of Muscatine, Iowa. Dropping out of high school to help support the family he worked in a number of jobs including ones in a spice mill, an oatmeal mill, a china store, and a wholesale grocery. Moving to New York City in 1896, he began writing for trade magazines such as the Tailor's Review, the Wall Paper News, and The Decorative Furnisher. In 1905, his humorous short story, Pigs is Pigs appeared in the American Magazine, and the following year it was published in book form. Its phenomenal success allowed Butler to give up editing trade papers and turn to full-time authorship.
This is a Book
Demetri Martin - 2011
Demetri's first literary foray features longer-form essays and conceptual pieces (such as Protagonists' Hospital, a melodrama about the clinic doctors who treat only the flesh wounds and minor head scratches of Hollywood action heroes), as well as his trademark charts, doodles, drawings, one-liners, and lists (i.e., the world views of optimists, pessimists and contortionists), Martin's material is varied, but his unique voice and brilliant mind will keep readers in stitches from beginning to end.
American Fairy Tales
L. Frank Baum - 1901
In Boston, five magical bon-bons make an ordinary senator, an ordinary professor, an ordinary girl and her ordinary parents do the most extraordinary things! A young cowboy lassoes Father Time; the dummy in Mr. Floman's department store window comes to life; and a tiny beetle gives a New England farmer and his wife a pump which pumps not water, but gold!Author of the much-loved Oz books, L. Frank Baum transforms the familiar with his magical mix of humor and enchantment. Most of the twelve stories in this delightful collection are set in America where, so it seems, modern fairies, knooks, and ryls are always causing the most astonishing things to happen! These tales will enchant both young and old. When American Fairy Tales first appeared, Baum's reputation as a storyteller had already been established by The Wonderful Wizard of Oz, written in 1900. The twelve stories in this collection were originally syndicated weekly in at least five newspapers during the first half of 1901. The first book edition, which this facsimile reprints, came out later that year.
Mushrooms on the Moor
F.W. Boreham - 1915
Fascinating, entertaining, and insightful, these essays cover many subjects and are delivered with the gentle eloquence Boreham is famous for. A mustread for fans of Boreham's beautiful work and worthy of a place on any bookshelf. Contents include: “A Slice of Infinity”, “Readymade Clothes”, “The Hidden Gold”, “'Such a Lovely Bite'”, “Landlord and Tenant”, “The Corner Cupboard”, “With the Wolves in the Wild”, “Dick Sunshine”, “Forty!”, “A Woman's Reason”, “The Handicap”, “Gog and Magog”, “My Wardrobe”, “'Pity my Simplicity”, “Tuning From the Bass”, et cetera. Many vintage books such as this are becoming increasingly rare and expensive. We are republishing this volume now in an affordable, modern, highquality edition complete with a specially commissioned new biography of the author. First published in 1919.
You Might Be a Zombie and Other Bad News
Cracked.com - 2011
Some facts are too terrifying to teach in school. Unfortunately, Cracked.com is more than happy to fill you in:* A zombie apocalypse? It could happen. 50% of humans are infected with a parasite that can take over your brain.* The FDA wouldn't let you eat bugs, right? Actually, you might want to put down those jelly beans. And that apple. And that strawberry yogurt.* Think dolphins are our friends? Then these sex-crazed thrill killers of the sea have you right where they want you.* The most important discovery in the history of genetics? Francis Crick came up with it while on LSD.* Think you're going to choose whether or not to buy this book? Scientists say your brain secretly makes all your decisions 10 seconds before you even know what they are.If you’re a fan of The Oatmeal or Frak.com and hate being wrong about stuff, you’ll love what you find in You Might Be a Zombie from the twisted minds at Cracked.
Don't Eat the Puffin: Tales From a Travel Writer's Life
Jules Brown - 2018
Get paid to travel and write about it.Only no one told Jules that it would mean eating oily seabirds, repeatedly falling off a husky sled, getting stranded on a Mediterranean island, and crash-landing in Iran.The exotic destinations come thick and fast – Hong Kong, Hawaii, Huddersfield – as Jules navigates what it means to be a travel writer in a world with endless surprises up its sleeve.Add in a cast of larger-than-life characters – Elvis, Captain Cook, his own travel-mad Dad – and an eye for the ridiculous, and this journey with Jules is one you won’t want to miss.
How to Be Alone
Jonathan Franzen - 2002
Reprinted here for the first time is Franzen's controversial l996 investigation of the fate of the American novel in what became known as "the Harper's essay," as well as his award-winning narrative of his father's struggle with Alzheimer's disease, and a rueful account of his brief tenure as an Oprah Winfrey author.
The Collected Dorothy Parker
Dorothy Parker - 1944
The decadent 1920s and 1930s in New York were a time of great experiment and daring for women. For the rich, life seemed a continual party, but the excesses took their emotional toll. In the bitingly witty poems and stories collected here, along with her articles and reviews, she brilliantly captures the spirit of the decadent Jazz Age in New York, exposing both the dazzle and the darkness. But beneath the sharp perceptions and acidic humour, much of her work poignantly expresses the deep vulnerability of a troubled, self-destructive woman who, in the words of philosopher Irwin Edman, was 'a Sappho who could combine a heartbreak with a wisecrack'.Dorothy Parker (1893-1967) was born in West End, New Jersey, and grew up in New York. In 1916 she sold some of her poetry to the editor of Vogue, and was subsequently given an editorial position on the magazine. She then became drama critic of Vanity Fair and the central figure of the celebrated Algonquin Round Table, whose members included George S. Kaufman and Harpo Marx. Her collections of poems included Enough Rope (1926) and Not So Deep as a Well (1936), and her collections of stories included Here Lies (1939); in addition, she collaborated on and wrote screenplays including the Oscar-winning A Star is Born (1937), and Alfred Hitchcock's Saboteur (1942).If you enjoyed The Collected Dorothy Parker, you might like Truman Capote's The Complete Stories, also available in Penguin Modern Classics.'She managed to express her real feelings in stanzas which snap and glitter like a Chanel handbag'Peter Ackroyd, The Times