The Dilbert Principle: A Cubicle's-Eye View of Bosses, Meetings, Management Fads & Other Workplace Afflictions
Scott Adams - 1996
Lavishly illustrated with Dilbert strips, these hilarious essays on incompetent bosses, management fads, bewildering technological changes and so much more, will make anyone who has ever worked in an office laugh out loud in recognition. The Dilbert Principle: The most ineffective workers will be systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage -- management.Since 1989, Scott Adams has been illustrating this principle each day, lampooning the corporate world through Dilbert, his enormously popular comic strip. In Dilbert, the potato-shaped, abuse-absorbing hero of the strip, Adams has given voice to the millions of Americans buffeted by the many adversities of the workplace.Now he takes the next step, attacking corporate culture head-on in this lighthearted series of essays. Packed with more than 100 hilarious cartoons, these 25 chapters explore the zeitgeist of ever-changing management trends, overbearing egos, management incompetence, bottomless bureaucracies, petrifying performance reviews, three-hour meetings, the confusion of the information superhighway and more. With sharp eyes, and an even sharper wit, Adams exposes -- and skewers -- the bizarre absurdities of everyday corporate life. Readers will be convinced that he must be spying on their bosses, The Dilbert Principle rings so true!
Every Thing on It
Shel Silverstein - 2011
From New York Times bestselling Shel Silverstein, celebrated creator of Where the Sidewalk Ends, A Light in the Attic, and Falling Up, comes an amazing collection of never-before-published poems and drawings.Have you ever read a book with everything on it? Well, here it is! You will say Hi-ho for the toilet troll, get tongue-tied with Stick-a-Tongue-Out-Sid, play a highly unusual horn, and experience the joys of growing down.What's that? You have a case of the Lovetobutcants? Impossible! Just come on in and let the magic of Shel Silverstein bend your brain and open your heart.And don't miss Runny Babbit Returns, the new book from Shel Silverstein!
The Book of Ratings: Opinions, Grades, and Assessments of Everything Worth Thinking about
Lore Fitzgerald Sjoberg - 2002
Koalas look cuddly, but they're actually irritable, solitary beasts who do not want belly rubs. What kind of mocking god created creatures with poofy ears and big black noses that don't want belly rubs? BOpossums: North America gets one lousy marsupial, and let's just say it's not going to win any beauty contests. Or even not-ugly contests. C−Wombats: "Wombat" is a great name. It's got a "wom" and a "bat," and an "omba." They're kind of nondescript animals, cute in a generic pudgy mammal way, but their name spelled backward is "tabmow," and that makes all the difference. AThe Book of Ratings is hysterically arbitrary and undeniably infectious.
I Am Pusheen the Cat
Claire Belton - 2013
Birthday: February 18Sex: Female Where she lives: In the house, on the couch, underfootHer favorite pastime: Blogging, sleepingHer best feature: Her toe beans Her favorite food: All of themPusheen is a pleasantly plump cat who has warmed hearts and tickled funny bones of millions worldwide with her signature GIF animated bops, bounces, and tail wiggles. Now, Pusheen is ready to make the leap from digital to print in her first comic collection! Learn what makes her purr and find out why millions of people have already fallen in love with this naughty, adorable kitty. Featuring some of the most popular stories from Pusheen’s Tumblr and Facebook pages (plus a healthy serving of never-before-seen material), I Am Pusheen the Cat is a treat for cat lovers and comics fans alike.
The Ladybird Book of the Sickie
Jason A. Hazeley - 2016
The large clear script, the careful choice of words, the frequent repetition and the thoughtful matching of text with pictures all enable grown-ups to think they have taught themselves to cope. Featuring original Ladybird artwork alongside brilliantly funny, brand new text. Other new titles for Autumn 2016: How it Works: The Student How it Works: The Cat How it Works: The Dog How it Works: The Grandparent The Ladybird Book of the Meeting The Ladybird Book of Red Tape The Ladybird Book of the People Next DoorThe Ladybird Book of the Zombie Apocalypse Previous titles in the Ladybirds for Grown Ups series: How it Works: The Husband How it Works: The Wife How it Works: The Mum How it Works: The Dad The Ladybird Book of the Mid-Life Crisis The Ladybird Book of the Hangover The Ladybird Book of Mindfulness The Ladybird Book of the Shed The Ladybird Book of Dating The Ladybird Book of the Hipster
The Feckin' Book of Everything Irish: A Gansey-Load of Deadly Craic for Cute Hoors and Bowsies
Colin Murphy - 2006
Patrick's Day, and you get all choked up when you hear the chorus of "Danny Boy." But there's more to Irish culture than just shamrocks and leprechauns and getting bullixed and acting like a eejit on St. Paddie's Day. If you're ready to expand your knowledge and take the next step to becoming a 100 percent, bona-fide Irish person, then this is the book for you, boyo.The Feckin' Book of Everything Irish is a rollicking, no-holds-barred tour of genuine Irish culture as experienced through its music and food and, especially, its unique way with words. The four chapters in this book are veritably heavin' with Irish slang worlds and phrases, quotes by famous Irish wits, rousing Irish songs for your next hooley, and authentic recipes that'll make yer oul' wan proud. We've also included a brief history of sex and love in Ireland, which goes a long way toward explaining why the Irish have such a feckin' wicked sense of humor.So don't just stand there like a cow looking over a whitewashed wall, get to readin'! You'll be arseways with laughter in no time.Colin Murphy is the co-author of a series of seven successful books on aspects of Irish culture, and, as someone with a head like a lump of wet turf, is well versed in the vast range of expressions and slang words used the length and breadth of Ireland. He has great experience with Irish food, as he's been eating it since the day he was born, and he knows the lyrics of hundreds of Irish tunes backwards. In fact, when he sings them, it sounds like he's singing them backwards, too. He is fascinated with the study of sex in the middle ages, as he's in his forties himself. He works in the advertising industry, where he has developed a powerful reputation as someone who'd lick drink off a scabby leg. He is married to a fine bit of stuff and has two little gurriers who'd put the heart crossways in ye.Donal O'Dea is also the co-author of a series of seven successful books on Irish culture. He is regularly as sick as a plane to Lourdes, mainly because he has a great lip for the stout. He, too, works as an artist in advertising, though to his colleagues he's only a doss artist. He considers himself an expert on many aspects of Irish culturemusic, food, sex and love, expressions, getting plastered, getting fluthered, getting paralytic, getting ossified, and getting langered. He's also a Dub and his missus is completely savage. He's got two snappers and a little bucko, and whenever he gets a night's sleep, he dreams of living the life of Reilly, throwin' shapes, and going on all-day sessions.
The Big Garage on Clear Shot: Growing Up, Growing Old, and Going Fishing at the End of the Road
Tom Bodett - 1990
Here is a big, wise, and diverse book, shot through with simple truths of life as it's really lived. Illustrations.
The Zombie Survival Guide: Complete Protection from the Living Dead
Max Brooks - 2003
Fully illustrated and exhaustively comprehensive, this book covers everything you need to know, including how to understand zombie physiology and behavior, the most effective defense tactics and weaponry, ways to outfit your home for a long siege, and how to survive and adapt in any territory or terrain.Top 10 Lessons for Surviving a Zombie Attack 1. Organize before they rise! 2. They feel no fear, why should you?3. Use your head: cut off theirs.4. Blades don’t need reloading.5. Ideal protection = tight clothes, short hair.6. Get up the staircase, then destroy it. 7. Get out of the car, get onto the bike.8. Keep moving, keep low, keep quiet, keep alert!9. No place is safe, only safer. 10. The zombie may be gone, but the threat lives on. Don’t be carefree and foolish with your most precious asset—life. This book is your key to survival against the hordes of undead who may be stalking you right now without your even knowing it. The Zombie Survival Guide offers complete protection through trusted, proven tips for safeguarding yourself and your loved ones against the living dead. It is a book that can save your life.
Peanuts Treasury
Charles M. Schulz - 1968
Through such lovable characters as Charlie Brown and Snoopy (not to mention the rest of the Peanuts gang), Schulz created, in the words of Doonesbury cartoonist Garry Trudeau, "the uncontested gold standard for comics, " and paved the road for future cartoonists. The Peanuts Treasury is a fitting testimony to Charles Schulz's enduring legacy and will stand for years to come as a loving tribute to one of the most influential cartoonists of all time.
How to Archer: The Ultimate Guide to Espionage and Style and Women and Also Cocktails Ever Written
Sterling Archer - 2012
But believe me: in this book, I’ll let you know exactly how to become a master spy just like me. Obviously, you won’t be as good at it as I am, but that’s because you’re you, and I’m Sterling Archer. I know, I know, it sucks not being me. But don’t beat yourself up about it, because I’m going to show you all the good stuff—what to wear; what to drink; how to seduce women (and, when necessary, men); how to beat up men (and, when necessary, women); how to tell the difference between call girls and hookers (hint: when they’re dead, they’re just hookers) and everything about weapons, secret devices, lying ex-girlfriends, and turtlenecks. In a word? How to Archer.
The Mammoth Book of Losers
Karl Shaw - 2014
It rejoices in men and women made of the Wrong Stuff: writers who believed in the power of words, but could never quite find the rights ones; artists and performers who indulged their creative impulse with a passion, if not a sense of the ridiculous, an eye for perspective or the ability to hold down a tune; scientists and businessmen who never quite managed to quit while they were ahead; and sportsmen who seemed to manage always to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. Like Walter Oudney, one of three men chosen to find the source of the River Niger in Africa, who could not ride a horse, nor speak any foreign languages and who had never travelled more than 30 miles beyond his native Edinburgh; or the explorer-priest Michel Alexandre de Baize, who set off to explore the African continent from east to west equipped with 24 umbrellas, some fireworks, two suits of armor, and a portable organ; or the Scottish army which decided to invade England in 1349 - during the Black Death. Entries include: briefest career in dentistry; least successful bonding exercise; most futile attempt to find a lost tribe; most pointless lines of research by someone who should have known better; least successful celebrity endorsement; least convincing excuse for a war; worst poetic tribute to a root vegetable; least successful display of impartiality by a juror; Devon Loch - sporting metaphor for blowing un unblowable lead; least dignified exit from office by a French president; and least successful expedition by camel.
The Best of Bombeck
Erma Bombeck - 1994
Includes At Wit's End, "Just Wait Till You Have Children of Your Own!" and I Lost Everything in the Post-Natal Depression.544 pp. 6 x 9. Orig. 3 vols. $26.85.
I Hate Everyone
Matthew DiBenedetti - 2011
This book goes through all the miserable people you love to hate. Do you hate morning people? How about the guy who doesn’t wipe the ketchup top after using it? Or people who just don’t care? After all, isn’t hating just another form of caring?It's true: Misery does love company. But what kind of company can you keep if you can't stand anyone? This kind. No matter who they are or what they do that sets you off and gets you going, you'll find 'em inside. From rich people who are dicks to guys named Rich who go by Dick to those who are always cold to people who are just hot, no one is safe. But one thing is certain—everyone will find someone they equally despise. And you're gonna love it, period.
No Such Thing as a Snow Day: A Collection of Reader-Submitted Medical Stories
Kerry Hamm - 2019
First responders share unique baby names, we hear stories about clueless newbies, bitter veterans, and patients with good intentions but bad ideas. We also hear more about the not-so-happy side of this industry. Grab a blanket, a mug of hot chocolate, and cozy up in front of the fire to catch up with submissions from people like you!
Talk to the Hand: The Utter Bloody Rudeness of the World Today, or Six Good Reasons to Stay Home and Bolt the Door
Lynne Truss - 2005
Taking on the boorish behavior that for some has become a point of pride, Talk to the Hand is a rallying cry for courtesy. Like Eats, Shoots & Leaves, Talk to the Hand is not a stuffy guidebook, and is sure to inspire spirited conversation. For anyone who’s fed up with the brutality inflicted by modern manners (or lack thereof), Talk to the Hand is a colorful call to arms—from the wittiest defender of the civilized world.