A collection of 45 ridiculous 911 emergency calls, submitted by 911 Call Center Operators across the U.S.Dedicated to you, the Taxpayer who funded these calls.Note: A quick 10-minute read of humorous quotes from real calls.Just enough for a grin of the day!

    Children's story about miniature creatures called brownies who live inside a tree.

    He daydreams about the day when his band records its first monster hit single and he and his bandmates all pile into his van for their cross-country, sold-out concert tour. Between naps, study hall, and band practice, Jeremy still manages to find time to be the star of this hugely popular comic strip.Jeremy is a good kid. He is intelligent and kind, yet he still has the attitude that one would expect from a teenager. His unpredictable mood swings and monosyllabic answers to his parents’ mild-mannered questions often leave them baffled and bemused.Zits was created in 1997 by Pulitzer Prize– and Reuben Award–winning editorial cartoonist Jim Borgman and Reuben Award–winning cartoonist/writer Jerry Scott. The creators, who are parents themselves, have a keen insight into the many physical and emotional changes that teens go through during adolescence, and they have the gift of addressing these common dilemmas with compassion and humor.

    White Cat, Black Cat: NEW DOG * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * It was a terrible day for the perky black cat His owner adopted a dog – just like that! A poodle too small to even harm a mouse Who acted as if he could rule the whole house.

    Vulcan’s Fury, as the impact event was known, had become a distant but poignant memory of how wrathful the gods can be, and it was the duty of every Roman to see that they were never angered again. Over those many years, the Roman Empire had finally brought to heel the entire known world, save the Dark Lands. Hidden behind a barrier of smoldering volcanoes and the deadly Haunted Sea, the Dark Lands were at the heart of ancient legends among the Romans of terrible beasts, and worse, that had once feasted upon the flesh of men in the earliest days of the First Spring. But ancient legends held no fear for Princess Valeria, daughter of Caesar Tiberius Claudius Augustus. Enthralled by reports of strange happenings along the coast and bored by the life of a young Roman noblewoman, she begs her father to allow her to travel to the coast of the Haunted Sea to indulge her curiosity. Tiberius grants her request, anxious to see her safely away from Rome, where the Senate is plotting against him. Together with her closest companions, including her enormous hexatiger, Hercules, Valeria sets off on her adventure, unaware that she has set in motion a series of events that will change the history of the Empire, and all Humankind, forever…

    How about, try saying " Loopy lizards lying lazily aloft a little lane of logs," without messing up. This Tongue Twister book is huge collection of funny phrases, ridiculous rhymes, and silly sentences that will have kids laughing for hours. Each one challenges your mouth muscles as you try to say these tongue twisters faster and multiple times.

    Simple language, repetition, and colorful illustrations help beginning readers fall in love with reading. Buddy Bones goes on a journey to find what is most precious to him, teaching kids the value of perseverance. Written in a similar style to Mo Willems and Tedd Arnold, this popular easy reader reminds kids that they will succeed if they keep on keeping on! Bones contains conversation starters in the back of the book, encouraging parents and caregivers to go beyond the story into practical life applications, reading comprehension, and critical thinking. We believe learning happens best when it is filled with love. Our stories seek to create opportunities for a relationship to grow. Bones conversation starters discuss the virtue of hard work, understanding personal value, managing loss, and even include prompts for sharing your own stories with one another. * Written for ages 2,3,4,5,6,7, and 8 years old * Free downloadable audio book and song included. If you enjoy this picture book by Jolie Canoli and Friends, you’ll love our other fun to read stories too!

    This book will entice them into reading and learning new stuff while having fun.I created the popular trivia website RaiseYourBrain and wrote two trivia books so far. As I was new to writing for kids, my son Pavel (aged 8) helped me very much. He reads a lot and really loves learning new things every day. Pavel proudly illustrated the book and helped me to handpick and order the facts.The book contains 600+ pieces of trivia and is covering topics that kids love: cute animals and human body. The lack of explicit sexuality, foul language or gore makes it a good read for anyone in the age range 8-18 years (and their parents too ;) ).A life hack if your child is NOT an avid reader: when you are preparing his/her lunch box, slip inside a couple of those facts. You could print out three facts every day to create some lunchtime fun for your kids and provoke their intellectual curiosity.

    This massive volume includes the complete text of the novels SIEGE OF TITAN, TEARS OF KERBEROS, FIRES OF PROMETHEUS, BATTLE FOR PROXIMA, FALL OF TERRA NOVA and FALL OF HYPERION. This epic science fiction series chronicles humanity’s first interstellar confederation, torn apart by religious strife and extremism. The bloody struggle is told through the eyes of an illegal pit fighter named Spartan, who is forced to choose between incarceration or military service in the Confederate Marine Corps. This box-set includes every book in the bestselling Uprising series: SIEGE OF TITAN In the first book of the Star Crusades Uprising series, the bloody struggle is told through the eyes of an illegal pit fighter named Spartan, who is forced to choose between incarceration or military service. Choosing the Confederate Marine Corps over servitude he begins his thirty long weeks of training. Together with his group of marines, they are honed into a force ready to be thrown into the meat grinder on the newest and greatest planet in the Confederacy, Proxima Prime. His term of service will soon become one of violence and carnage, as the entire sector is ripped apart by a brutal and virulent religious movement and its shocking plans. TEARS OF KERBEROS The religious insurgency continues to spread through the weakened colonies of the Confederacy. Spartan, now a sergeant in the Marine Corps and his armoured platoon is rushed to the defence of New Carlos on the planet of Prime. The massive city is besieged by the terrifying biomech shock troopers, its fall is imminent. As the battles rage across the continent enemy agents continue to foment revolt throughout the remaining colonies in their struggle to bring the empire crashing down. FIRES OF PROMETHEUS The sector is entering a short period of calm. There is peace in Proxima Centauri but for how long? The religious insurgency has already exploded throughout the system and one by one the colonies have seceded from the Confederacy, lured to the offerings of the Church of Echidna. Spartan and General Rivers have vanished and are presumed to have been executed at the hands of their Zealot captors for the murder of the President of Kerberos. BATTLE FOR PROXIMA In this latest book of the Star Crusades Uprising series the Confederacy is on its knees. Months of war have lost them most of the populated colonies and more will surely follow. Spartan, now a Lieutenant in the Marine Corps has been given his own special platoon, the Vanguards. Using the best weapons and armour in the Confederate arsenal, his unit is thrown back to the Bone Mill to locate information that could change the war. FALL OF TERRA NOVA The action shifts to Terra Nova, the shining beacon of humanity and the single most important planet in the Confederacy. Guarding access to this isolated planet is the Anomaly. This mysterious location is the gateway to Terra Nova and the rest of the Confederacy. When the Echidna Union begins moving scores of ships to the Anomaly, Admiral Jarvis must make a critical decision that could win or lose the war. Either she continues Operation Perdition and reclaims the lost colonies of Proxima Centauri, or she sends the fleet to take control of the Anomaly and the route to Terra Nova in one final apocalyptical battle. SLAVES OF HYPERION The newly founded Alliance rises from the ruins of the old Confederacy. Scattered groups of the enemy remain, but organised resistance has been crushed. Amnesty has been granted to those still at large and peace has returned to the war-torn colonies. Or has it?

    Topics covered in the book include the properties of arithmetic, exponents, primes and divisors, fractions, equations and inequalities, decimals, ratios and proportions, unit conversions and rates, percents, square roots, basic geometry (angles, perimeter, area, triangles, and quadrilaterals), statistics, counting and probability, and more! The text is structured to inspire the reader to explore and develop new ideas. Each section starts with problems, giving the student a chance to solve them without help before proceeding. The text then includes solutions to these problems, through which algebraic techniques are taught. Important facts and powerful problem solving approaches are highlighted throughout the text. In addition to the instructional material, the book contains well over 1000 problems. The solutions manual (sold separately) contains full solutions to all of the problems, not just answers. This book can serve as a complete Prealgebra course. This text is supplemented by free videos and a free learning system at the publisher's website.

    The girl is said to have drowned herself, driven to madness by a local widow named Agnes Mason, who is arrested on a charge of witchcraft. If found guilty, she will hang at the next Assizes.But Justice Belstrang, shrewd ex-magistrate and sceptic, does not believe a word of it. And when Agnes’s family beg him to help, he finds himself caught up in an ever-darkening mystery.Another death follows: that of Susanna’s lover, a young shepherd. He too is reported to have drowned himself at the Witching Pool, unable to face life without his beloved. But from local woodsman Ned Berritt, Belstrang learns there’s more to it – and when Berritt too is found dead soon after, he becomes even more determined to uncover the truth.The mystery grows murkier, however, as Belstrang is pitted against his old rival Justice Standish.But Belstrang’s stubbornness and passion for justice drives him on. With the help of his friend and fellow-sceptic Doctor Boyd, he unravels the terrible crimes that have lain hidden behind the doors of the great manor of Ebbfield.Belstrang must confront and apprehend his suspect - and risk his own life in the attempt.Recommended for fans of Andrew Taylor, CJ Sansom and SJ Parris.John Pilkington was born in Preston, into one of the oldest Lancashire families. He writes historical fiction as well as drama which has been adapted for radio, theatre and tv. He is the author of the Thomas the Falconer Mystery series.

    The three years have been quiet, filled with marital bliss and absolutely no murder. Without a mystery to solve, Gladie has grown bored, even as she has exceled as a matchmaker with more than a little psychic ability. Now, her Grandma Zelda has decided to expand the family business to wedding planning, and Gladie is going to be in charge of it. * Her first customer wants a wedding with all the trimmings, including an axe-throwing room, a tractor parade, and a longhorn bull instead of a limo to the ceremony. When one of the wedding party winds up dead, a freak accident is blamed. But Gladie’s murder antennae are up, and she’s determined to prove that it’s murder and bring the killer to justice. * Gored of the Rings is the first book in the Matchmaker Marriage Mysteries, the continuing adventures of Gladie Burger with all of the regular characters from the Matchmaker Mysteries. It’s perfect for fans of Miss Fortune, Stephanie Plum, and small-town, funny mysteries. * Matchmaker Marriage Mysteries…sometimes love comes with a few dead ends. * “Sax will make you laugh. Her larger-than-life characters jump off the page and make crazy seem like a fun place to hang out.”—New York Times bestselling author Christie Craig * “With quirky characters reminiscent of Janet Evanovich’s Stephanie Plum series and a small-town heroine redolent of Charlaine Harris’ Sookie Stackhouse” --RT Book Reviews

    Confronted by danger at every turn, he and his friend, Hubris the Spellbroker, become entangled in a bizarre web of intrigue, politics and outlandish fashion. They soon realise that they are just pawns in a greater game, but who is their real adversary and how can they disentangle themselves without ending up seriously dead?This humorous fantasy novella (28,500 words) is a prequel to the novel, Gaspar The Thief (126,000 words), also by David A. Lindsay.

    

    They're cute, compact, fun-loving, and great with kids. (Not to mention those soulful eyes!) But their sense of humor, independence, and stubborn nature isn't for everyone. So whether you're thinking about getting your very own Snoopy-dog, or if you've already opened your heart and home to one, Beagles for Dummies answers important questions like: What are Beagles supposed to look like and how should they behave? Should I choose a puppy or an adult dog? Male or female? How do I correct my Beagle's behavior problems? What do I need to do to survive my Beagle's puppyhood? How can I Beagle-proof my house to keep him (and my stuff) safe? What should I teach my Beagle to do? How do I teach him? What health problems is my Beagle likely to have when he's young? How about when he grows up--or gets old? Life with these little hounds can lead to years of merriment, entertainment, and love--but if you think Beagles are just another hound dog, think again! Whether you want to know everything there is to living with a Beagle, or just want to skip to a relevant subject (like how to keep him out of the hamper), Beagles for Dummies gives you everything you need to choose and raise your Snoopy soul mate.