There, a bore is "a person who talks when you wish him to listen," and happiness is "an agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of another." This is the most comprehensive, authoritative edition ever of Ambrose Bierce’s satiric masterpiece. It renders obsolete all other versions that have appeared in the book’s ninety-year history.A virtual onslaught of acerbic, confrontational wordplay, The Unabridged Devil’s Dictionary offers some 1,600 wickedly clever definitions to the vocabulary of everyday life. Little is sacred and few are safe, for Bierce targets just about any pursuit, from matrimony to immortality, that allows our willful failings and excesses to shine forth.This new edition is based on David E. Schultz and S. T. Joshi’s exhaustive investigation into the book’s writing and publishing history. All of Bierce’s known satiric definitions are here, including previously uncollected, unpublished, and alternative entries. Definitions dropped from previous editions have been restored while nearly two hundred wrongly attributed to Bierce have been excised. For dedicated Bierce readers, an introduction and notes are also included.Ambrose Bierce’s Devil’s Dictionary is a classic that stands alongside the best work of satirists such as Twain, Mencken, and Thurber. This unabridged edition will be celebrated by humor fans and word lovers everywhere.

    This work was reproduced from the original artifact, and remains as true to the original work as possible. Therefore, you will see the original copyright references, library stamps (as most of these works have been housed in our most important libraries around the world), and other notations in the work. This work is in the public domain in the United States of America, and possibly other nations. Within the United States, you may freely copy and distribute this work, as no entity (individual or corporate) has a copyright on the body of the work.As a reproduction of a historical artifact, this work may contain missing or blurred pages, poor pictures, errant marks, etc. Scholars believe, and we concur, that this work is important enough to be preserved, reproduced, and made generally available to the public. We appreciate your support of the preservation process, and thank you for being an important part of keeping this knowledge alive and relevant.

    In the middle, meanwhile, are The Great Switcheroo and The Last Act, two stories exploring a darker side of desire and pleasure.In the black comedies of Switch Bitch Roald Dahl brilliantly captures the ins and outs, highs and lows of sex.'Dahl is too good a storyteller to become predictable' Daily TelegraphRoald Dahl, the brilliant and worldwide acclaimed author of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, James and the Giant Peach, Matilda, and many more classics for children, also wrote scores of short stories for adults. These delightfully disturbing tales have often been filmed and were most recently the inspiration for the West End play, Roald Dahl's Twisted Tales by Jeremy Dyson. Roald Dahl's stories continue to make readers shiver today.

    "Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?"

    Award-winning and best-selling authors from across the genre spectrum join forces in this edgy collection. These deliciously frightening and reflective tales of phobias will cause your heart to race and your body to perspire. ***ALL PROCEEDS FROM THIS ANTHOLOGY WILL BE DONATED TO THE NATIONAL ALLIANCE ON MENTAL ILLNESS (NAMI)*** Experimental by Lauren Algeo: Four people, four boxes, one nightmare. There's no way out for Michael, Heidi, Sabina and Jace, and no escape from their own minds. Do they have the mental strength to withstand insanity? The First Step by Marisa Oldham & Angie Martin: Following a terrifying ordeal, Adele has wrapped herself up in the comfort of her own home for the past four years. Can one man bring her the courage she needs to take the first step into a new world? A Mind’s Undoing by Sloane Kady: Inside Kate lived a fear so profound even sanity couldn't reason with it and reality couldn't shake it from its foundation. When her greatest fear comes knocking, will she recognize it, or will it push her farther into a world of her mind's making? Mark of Deceit by Glede Browne Kabongo: Ambitious career girl Natalie Grainger Fox is in for the fight of her life when she becomes the unwilling recipient of a computer flash drive that could bring about the collapse of her employer—a global powerhouse that may be guilty of financial fraud and cold-blooded murder. Unreal by Shay Lynam: When a glitch in the system traps three teens inside a virtual reality, they must band together and face their worst fears in hopes of finding a way out. Jezebel’s Embrace by Heather Osborne: With an abusive mother dominating every aspect of her life, Lilith has grown to fear intimacy and touch. When she finally manages to escape, the death of a kindly lady draws her back. Will Lilith learn to conquer her fear, or will it consume her, mind and soul? Heaven’s Hell by Sandy Richards: Ernie had a devil of a time with life; nevertheless, salvation came calling surrounded by hellish circumstances. Touch of the Untouchables by Jalpa Williby: Zak has only known one way of life: stay inside the wall. When a forbidden excursion goes wrong, he meets up with an enemy of unknown danger. In facing his worst fear, he is forced to question everything that has been his world and determine his own reality.

    Now Megan Mayhew Bergman, author of Birds of a Lesser Paradise, resurrects these women, lets them live in the reader's imagination, so we can explore their difficult choices. Nearly every story in this dazzling collection is based on a woman who attained some celebrity—she raced speed boats or was a conjoined twin in show business; a reclusive painter of renown; a member of the first all-female, integrated swing band. We see Lord Byron's illegitimate daughter, Allegra; Oscar Wilde's troubled niece, Dolly; West With the Night author Beryl Markham; Edna St. Vincent Millay's sister, Norma. These extraordinary stories travel the world, explore the past (and delve into the future), and portray fiercely independent women defined by their acts of bravery, creative impulses, and sometimes reckless decisions.The world hasn't always been kind to unusual women, but through Megan Mayhew Bergman's alluring depictions they finally receive the attention they deserve. Almost Famous Women is a gorgeous collection from an "accomplished writer of short fiction" (Booklist).

    It is here that Jeeves makes his first appearance with these unremarkable words: "Mrs. Gregson to see you, sir." Years later, when Jeeves became a household name, Wodehouse said he blushed to think of the off-hand way he had treated the man at their first encounter...In the story "Extricating Young Gussie," we find Bertie Wooster's redoubtable Aunt Agatha "who had an eye like a man-eating fish and had got amoral suasion down to a fine point." The other stories are also fine vintage Wodehouse: the romance between a lovely girl and a would-be playwright, the rivalry between the ugly policeman and Alf the romeo milkman, and the plight of Henry in the title piece, The Man with Two Left Feet, who fell in love with a dance hostess.

    Contents:· The Dead Past · nv Astounding Apr ’56 · The Foundation of Science Fiction Success · pm F&SF Oct ’54 · Franchise · ss If Aug ’55 · Gimmicks Three [“The Brazen Locked Room”] · ss F&SF Nov ’56 · Kid Stuff · ss Beyond Fantasy Fiction Sep ’53 · The Watery Place · ss Satellite Oct ’56 · Living Space · ss Science Fiction Stories May ’56 · The Message · vi F&SF Feb ’56 · Satisfaction Guaranteed [Susan Calvin (Robot)] · ss Amazing Apr ’51 · Hell-Fire · vi Fantastic Universe May ’56 · The Last Trump · ss Fantastic Universe Jun ’55 · The Fun They Had · ss The Boys and Girls Page Dec 1 ’51; F&SF Feb ’54 · Jokester · ss Infinity Science Fiction Dec ’56 · The Immortal Bard · vi Universe May ’54 · Someday · ss Infinity Science Fiction Aug ’56 · The Author’s Ordeal · pm Science Fiction Quarterly May ’57 · Dreaming Is a Private Thing · ss F&SF Dec ’55

    Alone in his apartment, he reads stories aloud to the point he has them memorized. Sometimes he fantasizes that he wrote them. Sometimes, when they’re his very favorite stories, he’ll fantasize about reading them in front of an audience and taking credit for them. The audience in these fantasies always loves him and gives him the respect he deserves.David Sedaris didn’t write the stories in Children Playing Before a Statue of Hercules . But he did read them. And he liked them enough to hand pick them for this collection of short fiction. Featuring such notable writers as Lorrie Moore, Alice Munro, Joyce Carol Oates, Jean Thompson, and Tobias Wolff, Children Playing Before a Statue of Hercules includes some of the most influential and talented short story writers, contemporary and classic.Perfect for fans who suffer from Sedaris fever, Children Playing Before a Statue of Hercules will tide them over and provide relief.2 hrs 56 mins

    A 19th-century maritime classic brimming with courage, ingenuity, and daring.

    You may find it for free on the web. Purchase of the Kindle edition includes wireless delivery.

    Perhaps, if he had known that Adele had stood at the gate on that unlucky night, where she had followed, lingering, to await the return of her brother and lover, wondering why they had chosen so tempestuous an hour and so black a spot to hold converse--if he had known that a sudden flash of lightning had revealed to her sight that short, sharp struggle as Victor was sinking under his hands, he might have explained everything, and she--....

    The details of Arthur's story are mainly composed of folklore and literary invention, and his historical existence is debated and disputed by modern historians. The sparse historical background of Arthur is gleaned from various sources, including the Annales Cambriae, the Historia Brittonum, and the writings of Gildas. Arthur's name also occurs in early poetic sources such as Y Gododdin. The legendary Arthur developed as a figure of international interest largely through the popularity of Geoffrey of Monmouth's fanciful and imaginative 12th-century Historia Regum Britanniae (History of the Kings of Britain). However, some Welsh and Breton tales and poems relating the story of Arthur date from earlier than this work; in these works, Arthur appears either as a great warrior defending Britain from human and supernatural enemies or as a magical figure of folklore, sometimes associated with the Welsh Otherworld, Annwn. How much of Geoffrey's Historia (completed in 1138) was adapted from such earlier sources, rather than invented by Geoffrey himself, is unknown. Although the themes, events and characters of the Arthurian legend varied widely from text to text, and there is no one canonical version, Geoffrey's version of events often served as the starting point for later stories. Geoffrey depicted Arthur as a king of Britain who defeated the Saxons and established an empire over Britain, Ireland, Iceland, Norway and Gaul. In fact, many elements and incidents that are now an integral part of the Arthurian story appear in Geoffrey's Historia, including Arthur's father Uther Pendragon, the wizard Merlin, the sword Excalibur, Arthur's birth at Tintagel, his final battle against Mordred at Camlann and final rest in Avalon. The 12th-century French writer Chretien de Troyes, who added Lancelot and the Holy Grail to the story, began the genre of Arthurian romance that became a significant strand of medieval literature. In these French stories, the narrative focus often shifts from King Arthur himself to other characters, such as various Knights of the Round Table. Arthurian literature thrived during the Middle Ages but waned in the centuries that followed until it experienced a major resurgence in the 19th century. In the 21st century, the legend lives on, not only in literature but also in adaptations for theatre, film, television, comics and other media. The Sir James Knowles version of King Arthur is considered as the most accurate and well known original story of King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table.

    Some of the stories are inspired by true events and some are inspired by ideas of my dear readers! Find out which ones inside this scary collection."BABYSITTER"Rachel was just a regular teenager living a normal life, when the new, rich family moved into town. They had 2 children and were looking for a babysitter. She thought it would be a nice way to get some money. What was in store for her, however, was a bloody and shocking night to remember."DARK SIDE"Selene and Damien seemed like a normal couple, but Damien started to act weirdly and spent a lot of time in his price room where he did his job. Damien was an artist and needed his private area. What was Damien actually doing in his private room was more terrifying than Selene could ever have imagined."THE CURSE OF HERNANDEZ"A newly married couple found the perfect home to call their own. While cleaning out the upstairs attic the husband discovers an old suitcase. Upon opening, they find the remains of documents and papers with their last name on them- Hernandez. Strange, but they decided to ignore it and throw the suitcase away. They should have never done this because that is when strange things started to happen.

    This volume collects many of his most famous short works and is a fitting compendium of his literary achievements for newcomers or longtime Hawthorne fans alike.