Whether this is because they haven't yet mastered the 21st century phone or because they live to embarrass you throughout all forms of communication, Text Fails from Mum, is a hilarious collection of our all time favourite texts from Mum.Please stop changing the google logo so much, I like the original one.Mum I don't change the logo. Google changes it.On my computer, you don't run the Google?If I did I wouldn't be driving a 2004 Ford.Andy, I can't find my phone. Can you call it so I can try and track it down?I don't have time to be quippy, mum. It's in your hand.What? No it's not. I've got a bag of groceries in my hand. Are you saying it's in the grocery bag? How do you know these things!?WHAT ARE YOU TEXTING ME WITH!?Never mind! I found it! Thanks!This humour gift book is the laugh out loud answer to the annual conundrum what should I get Mum for Christmas, Mother's Day and her Birthday? Text Fails From Mum is the perfect stocking filler, and a gift all the family can relate to and enjoy.

    Still wet behind the ears, he found himself on a whirlwind tour through the seven ages of man and the 57 varieties of human nature. He has to learn how to examine real people, diagnose them without becoming emotionally involved and fend off the crises of confidence which await around every corner. The book is set in the 1970s and there will no doubt be some readers who might think that things were better then. Edward Vernon is a pen name of a well known British doctor/author. Here's what the critics said about the series: Delightfully and wittily written. His descriptions of daunting receptionists, magazine-strewn waiting rooms and hypochondriacal patients will strike many familiar cords, but Dr Vernon is at his best when recounting his encounters in the surgery and at the bedside. For anyone needing to be entertained, and at times moved, there could be no better prescription than one chapter...taken each night at bedtime - Liverpool Echo Truthful, well observed and consistently readable - Daily Telegraph The funniest of the funny doctor books - Richard Gordon Dr Vernon is onto a good thing; we could do with some more - Oxford Times Hilarious - Titbits Thoroughly delightful - Fresno Bee Delightfully funny - Sunday Advocate, Baton Rouge For entertainment, a chapter or two before bedtime is just what the doctor ordered - Sacromento Bee Does for British GPs what Herriot has done for vets - Booklist Hilarious - Grimsby Evening Telegraph Very funny - Citizen, Gloucester Genuinely funny - South Wales Echo Wise, funny, sad and heartwarming - Chattanooga Times Good fun - Homes and Gardens Jolly good reading - Publishers Weekly Views the human species he treats with much the same affection, compassion and humour as Herriot brings to the animal world - Cleveland Plain Dealer Sometimes serious, sometimes hilarious - Lancashire Evening Post Will amuse, amaze and entertain - Yorkshire Post etc etc

    The name Peiper will always be linked to the Malmédy Massacre, the death of Belgian civilians and more than seventy American soldiers, but there is still a myth around Peiper. Why was a twenty-nine year old Waffen-SS officer chosen to lead the German spearhead unit during the Battle of the Bulge in December 1944? Peiper was a special leader within the one of the most elite Waffen-SS divisions, the Leibstandarte-SS Adolf Hitler. Peiper was charismatic and extreme loyal to his unit. His men trusted him as a leader, even under the most extreme conditions. In Germany he was a well-known war hero. It was a logical decision that Peiper became the commander of the spearhead unit, but there were other factors leading to this decision: tactical considerations, a we-know-what-to-expect-principle, and Peiper was lucky that he was still alive and serving in the Waffen-SS.

     The Napoleonic wars are brought to life with grit and gunpowder in this trilogy of hugely popular novels: Strike the Red Flag, The Normandy Privateer and Dead Man's Island. With a clear knowledge of the period, McDine skillfully uses actual events in the Royal Navy’s history as the backdrop to Anson's swashbuckling adventures. For fans of Hornblower, Bolitho, Ramage or Aubrey, Oliver Anson will be your next naval hero. David McDine, OBE, is a former Admiralty information officer, Royal Navy Reserve officer and Deputy Lieutenant of Kent, and the author of Unconquered: The Story of Kent and its Lieutenancy.

    Into primary training, the voyage overseas, and being sunk in the Mediterranean sea. Resuming the voyage on a bluddy awful peacetime troop ship. Deolali, being held back for glasses. |No Jungle training, which it would seem most everyone else got. The siege of Imphal, then more than 500 miles chasing the Japs out of Burma. The dropping of the atom bomb which saved us from the invasion of Malaya.

    Fresh. Hilarious. Since we love laughing at funny jokes and pictures, we decided to create a series of books showcasing hilarious jokes we find throughout the day from all over the internet. We’ve even found some jokes in that old crusty sock you keep under your bed… Book is not appropriate for young kids. May have adult language or adult themes. Reader discretion is advised HAVE FUN! And let us know what you liked and where we can improve by leaving a review!

    After several victories, the French Army is dealt its first major defeat by Ho Chi Minh and his Viet Minh rebels. China and Russia wait in the wings, watching America’s resolve.With the French desperately short on troops, weapons, and aircraft, America must wrestle with the decision on how deeply to become involved in the growing conflict in Indochina. Newly elected congressman and war hero, John F. Kennedy, is joined by his siblings, Robert and Patricia, on a fact-finding mission throughout Southeast Asia. His goal – find the truth to prevent America from making a terrible mistake that could have irreparable consequences.Will the Kennedys find the truth and save America from a terrible fate?Rene Granier, former OSS Deer Team member and now CIA officer, is asked to accompany the Kennedys as their advisor and bodyguard. He is the only man alive that fought alongside the Viet Minh and the French. Now both want his head on a platter as he goes back into the lion’s den – Vietnam.Will Granier protect the Kennedys? Will he even survive?Will America make the right decision or become entangled in a faraway war with no end in sight?Read The War Before The War to find out.

    Ever hear of the term Pyrrhic victory? A young Roman soldier is a part of history in which the phrase was created.

    Yes, it is really that good.""This is going to be my 'go to book' when I've had a bad day!"Please Note: Some profanity, not for children!

    How did we ever find time to go to work. New to Caravanning. Its mishaps. Its pleasures. Its fun. Susie and Jack take early retirement and end up biting off more than they can chew. An unexpected inheritance changes their lives forever.

    FICTION: Poolside at their motel, the Fab Four fell into conversation with a snappy-dressing local named Bert the Shirt, who listened as the band worked out a harmony to the most beautiful song he’d ever heard--and wouldn’t hear again for over half a century. FACT: That night, the Beatles played an unannounced free concert in the motel bar. Everyone was welcome. Local musicians showed up with guitars and keyboards, and had the once-in-a-lifetime experience of jamming with the Beatles till 4 am. This legendary event has forever after been known to Key West locals as THE PARADISE GIG.FICTION: Next day, hung over and exhausted, the Beatles left for the airport, having somehow lost a stained and battered notebook that held a priceless stash of unrecorded songs. NOW CUT TO THE PRESENT: A beautiful woman is doing a yoga headstand on a Key West beach when she’s abducted by a pair of thugs. An aspiring young singer is offered a recording deal that seems a bit too good to be true. Bad things happen to a couple of one-hit wonders…And old Bert hears a new song that is hauntingly familiar, but that he can’t quite place.Could it possibly be the same song he’d heard at poolside so many years before? Could it be that all the present mayhem circles back through the decades to THE PARADISE GIG? Could the precious, even sacred, Beatles notebook possibly turn up after all these years? Could Bert be the hero who would rediscover that stash of unheard songs for music lovers everywhere—and save a young singer’s life in the process? With Nacho, his intrepid Chihuahua, at his side, and with no one but bumbling detective Pete Amsterdam for an ally, the undaunted Bert the Shirt sets out through the Florida haze to piece it all together, learning along the way how much the world has changed—and how much it has not. In equal parts suspenseful and nostalgic, funny and romantic, this time-bending caper celebrates the power of music and the many tricks of memory, the joys of youth and the comforts of age, and the free and funky spirit of Key West.

    Craving the opportunity to finally see some action after a disappointing tour in Iraq, he now had the chance to put his elite marksmanship training to the test. To his disappointment, the Taliban proved to be nothing like a traditional enemy and their hit and run ambush tactics mean that more often than not Dean and his men are cooped up inside a Viking armoured personnel carrier, desperate to get out and take the fight to the Taliban on the ground. During one such ambush, Dean's Platoon is attacked from all sides, and Dean's Viking is immobilised. Going up on top of the carrier to fend off the assailants with his rifle, an RPG explodes next to him, covering him with burning diesel. Continuing his stubborn defence, and enabling his men to scramble out the back door of the stricken vehicle, Dean takes a direct hit from an RPG ending his brave covering fire. Dragged from the burning Viking, he is flown back to England with little expectation of surviving the flight home. Dean's next battle was the hardest he ever had to face.

    

    It is a very long and progressive story over many books, more than a million words. Follow Wilco as he moves from basic training in the RAF Regiment to the SAS, to SAS counter-terrorist operations in Northern Ireland, to SAS hostage rescues in West Africa and elsewhere, to illegal mission for Mi6 and the CIA. The book is technically, geographically and historically accurate.

    Following the life of an abandoned 13 year old who by chance is instrumental in saving a family from robbery and worse. Taken in by the naval Captain Bowers he is placed as a midshipman in his benefactor’s ship. From that time onward with the increasing demands of the conflict with France, Martin Forrest grows up fast. The relationship with his benefactors family is formalized when he is adopted by them and has a home once more. Romance with Jennifer the Captain’s ward links him ever closer to the family. Meanwhile he serves in the West Indies where good fortune results in his gaining considerable wealth personally. With promotion and command he is able to marry and reclaim his birth-right, stolen from him by his step-mother and her lover. The mysterious (call me merely Mr. Smith) involves Martin in more activity in the shadowy world of spies and secret agents. Mainly a question of infiltrating and extricating agents, his involvement becomes more complex as time goes on. A cruise to India consolidates his position and rank with the successful capture of prizes when returning convoying East-Indiamen. His rise to Post rank is followed by a series of events, that sadly culminate in family tragedy. Though still young Martin Forrest-Bowers faces and empty future, yet the mysterious merely Mr. Smith has requested his service. Why does the spymaster require of him, and what lies ahead?