What’s the man to do? Leave the bathroom and say nothing on the matter? Or, take matters into his own hands?THE MEANTIME STORIES is a funny short read series that draws inspiration from Terry Pratchett, Monty Python, and Douglas Adams, all combined with a twist of Nordic Noir (human folly, abrupt and plentiful deaths, snappy dialogue, quirky deep thoughts, and absurd outcomes). It’s glittering darkness, and clouded light.Each story is a stand-alone, ready to be enjoyed when you yearn for 30 minutes of wacky, brainy, and laugh-out-loud entertainment. Longing for surprises, unexpected twists, and silliness with an edge? Look no further, because in the Meantime, anything can happen!

    McQueen (no relation, unfortunately) seems to have a knack for bad luck. But a failed marriage, a stalled career, a judgmental ex-wife, a distant daughter, a horrid little studio apartment in the far reaches of the London suburbs-all these pathetic elements seem to pale in the chiseled face of his newest tormentor: the Twelfth Sexiest Man in the World, Josh Harper.Josh is the star of Mad, Bad, and Dangerous to Know, a biographical play about Lord Byron-and Stephen is his understudy. Not only is Josh fantastically, infuriatingly good-looking, internationally renowned, and remarkably talented, he's also frustratingly healthy. No matter how many all-night booze-and-coke benders Josh goes on, he always shows up at the stage door for his call like clockwork. Stephen doubts he'll ever get his chance to slip on the puffy shirt and tight breeches of Byron and tread the boards in the role that would certainly be the break he's always waited for.And just when Stephen's sure he couldn't resent Josh more, he meets Josh's witty, restless American wife, Nora . . . and discovers he likes her a little too much. Another man might curse his luck at finding that his potential dream woman is a rival's wife, but at this point, Stephen would expect nothing else. Caught between his stirring feelings for Nora, the demands of an insistent and secretive Josh, and his lifelong desire for a real career in show business, Stephen must make a terrible decision: Will it be the girl or the fame?A hapless, bumbling bloke in love, an arrogant megastar with a potpourri of addictions, a sexy married woman out of her element in the fast lane-David Nicholls brings them all together in this knockout romantic comedy.From the Hardcover edition.

    But the writer possessed another side, one which is delightfully exposed in this hilariously charming memoir of her family's life in rural Vermont. Fans of Please Don't Eat the Daisies, Cheaper by the Dozen, and anything Erma Bombeck ever wrote will find much to recognize in Shirley Jackson's home and neighborhood: children who won't behave, cars that won't start, furnaces that break down, a pugnacious corner bully, household help that never stays, and a patient, capable husband who remains lovingly oblivious to the many thousands of things mothers and wives accomplish every single day."Our house," writes Jackson, "is old, noisy, and full. When we moved into it we had two children and about five thousand books; I expect that when we finally overflow and move out again we will have perhaps twenty children and easily half a million books." Jackson's literary talents are in evidence everywhere, as is her trenchant, unsentimental wit. Yet there is no mistaking the happiness and love in these pages, which are crowded with the raucous voices of an extraordinary family living a wonderfully ordinary life.

    In Will My Cat Eat My Eyeballs?, best-selling author and mortician Caitlin Doughty answers the most intriguing questions she’s ever received about what happens to our bodies when we die. In a brisk, informative, and morbidly funny style, Doughty explores everything from ancient Egyptian death rituals and the science of skeletons to flesh-eating insects and the proper depth at which to bury your pet if you want Fluffy to become a mummy. Now featuring an interview with a clinical expert on discussing these issues with young people—the source of some of our most revealing questions about death—Will My Cat Eat My Eyeballs? confronts our common fear of dying with candid, honest, and hilarious facts about what awaits the body we leave behind.

    (I understand that it’s likely the former, which is a fancy “book” way of saying “the first one.”) I talk about my grandparents, doing stand-up comedy as a teenager, bar mitzvahs, and Jewish summer camp, and tell way more stories about doing drugs than my mother would like. I also talk about some of my adventures in Los Angeles, and surely say things about other famous people that will create a wildly awkward conversation for me at a party one day. I hope you enjoy the book should you buy it, and if you don’t enjoy it, I’m sorry. If you ever see me on the street and explain the situation, I’ll do my best to make it up to you.

    Writing very bad poetry requires talent. It helps to have a wooden ear for words, a penchant for sinking into a mire of sentimentality, and an enviable confidence that allows one to write despite absolutely appalling incompetence.The 131 poems collected in this first-of-its-kind anthology are so glaringly awful that they embody a kind of genius. From Fred Emerson Brooks' "The Stuttering Lover" to Matthew Green's "The Spleen" to Georgia Bailey Parrington's misguided "An Elegy to a Dissected Puppy," they mangle meter, run rampant over rhyme, and bludgeon us into insensibility with their grandiosity, anticlimax, and malapropism.Guaranteed to move even the most stoic reader to tears (of laughter), Very Bad Poetry is sure to become a favorite of the poetically inclined (and disinclined).

    But as with all pets, they have unique personalities and stories to tell. Alongside beautiful four-color photos of their cats, A Letter to My Cat collects personal letters from celebrities offering love and gratitude for all that their cats bring to their lives.

    Pel leads an uneventful life—quietly bluffing his way through his job and discovering new things to argue about with Ursula. But when his boss mysteriously disappears, Pel steps innocently into his shoes and his life spirals out of control in a chaotic whirl of stolen money, missing colleagues, and Chinese mafiosi.Its fractured thriller plot punctuated by blazingly hilarious set-piece arguments between the hapless Pel and the unflappable Ursula, Things My Girlfriend and I Have Argued About is a brilliant comic novel examining the unique warfare in long-term relationships.

    Drawing deep from personal experience, cutting-edge science, and colorful history, he spins captivating stories about the birds in our midst and reveals the startlingly intimate coexistence of birds and humans.

    Sure, sometimes being diminutive gets you the short end of the stick, but there are also plenty of unique advantages to being under 5’4”—and Murphy has compiled the 100 best reasons in the delightfully whimsical I’d Rather Be Short. Illustrated in a charming, quirky style, I’d Rather Be Short highlights the benefits of being petite, from the sensible to the absurd, including: ·        You get the best of both worlds: kids’ meals and cocktail parties·        You’re never expected to help your friends move·        Concertgoers usually won’t hassle you when you shimmy up to the front·        You’re less likely to get struck by lightning·        Skirts can be dresses; dresses can be skirts·        You’re just the way you should be Witty and heartwarming, I’d Rather Be Short is a celebration of self-acceptance—and an instant ego boost to pint-sized ladies everywhere.

    So when Sam heard a woman telling his mum that her cat had just had kittens, Sam pleaded to go and see them.Helen's heart melted as Sam held one of the kittens in his hands with a look of total adoration. In a trice the deal was done - the kitten would be delivered when she was big enough to leave her mother.A week later, Sam was dead. Not long after, a little black kitten was delivered to the grieving family. Totally traumatised by Sam's death, Helen had forgotten all about the new arrival. After all, that was back in another universe when Sam was alive.Helen was ready to send the kitten back, but Sam's younger brother wanted to keep her, identifying with the tiny black kitten who'd also lost her brothers. When Rob stroked her fur, it was the first time Helen had seen him smile since Sam's death. There was no choice: the kitten - dubbed Cleo - had to stay.Kitten or not, there seemed no hope of becoming a normal family. But Cleo's zest for life slowly taught the traumatised family to laugh. She went on to become the uppity high priestess of Helen's household, vetoing her new men, terrifying visiting dogs and building a special bond with Rob, his sister Lydia, Helen - and later a baby daughter.

    Rowling and the brilliant curators of the British Library. It promises to take readers on a fascinating journey through the subjects studied at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry – from Alchemy and Potions classes through to Herbology and Care of Magical Creatures.Each chapter showcases a treasure trove of artefacts from the British Library and other collections around the world, beside exclusive manuscripts, sketches and illustrations from the Harry Potter archive. There's also a specially commissioned essay for each subject area by an expert, writer or cultural commentator, inspired by the contents of the exhibition – absorbing, insightful and unexpected contributions from Steve Backshall, the Reverend Richard Coles, Owen Davies, Julia Eccleshare, Roger Highfield, Steve Kloves, Lucy Mangan, Anna Pavord and Tim Peake, who offer a personal perspective on their magical theme.Readers will be able to pore over ancient spell books, amazing illuminated scrolls that reveal the secret of the Elixir of Life, vials of dragon's blood, mandrake roots, painted centaurs and a genuine witch's broomstick, in a book that shows J.K. Rowling's magical inventions alongside their cultural and historical forebears.This is the ultimate gift for Harry Potter fans, curious minds, big imaginations, bibliophiles and readers around the world who missed out on the chance to see the exhibition in person.

    Enter Ting, a seven-pound Korat who changed his life, and the life of the family. All kittens are mischievous, but Ting “the cat grenade” was real trouble. She was also smart, endearing, and the soul of the Warren family.     In late 2008, Lissa’s father died of a heart attack. The images from that night still haunt her—especially the EKG readout ending in one long, devastating em dash. Less than a year later, Lissa and her mother stared at another EKG readout, this time for Ting. A living feline extension of the man they missed so much—the man they had tried, but failed, to save—she was diagnosed with a potentially fatal heart condition. The only option was to have a human pacemaker implanted in the cat—a procedure even the best animal hospital in Boston hadn’t performed in a decade. Determined not to lose another family member, they embarked on a medical odyssey on behalf of the gray cat who had been her father’s shadow—a journey that would prepare one of them for her own serious diagnosis.   A gorgeously written memoir about grief, hope, and how pets both complicate and enrich our lives, The Good Luck Cat is a testament to the power of the human—and the feline—spirit.

    Oz Show will give every dog owner the secrets to raising a healthy, well-behaved dog. For anyone who owns a dog or is thinking about getting one, Dr. Marty Becker's manual is a must-have guide to anything and everything canine. In Your Dog: The Owner's Manual, the "best-loved family doctor for pets" shares insider secrets on how to keep puppy problems from becoming doggy disasters and how to best bond with your dog through helpful, easily accessible tips and tricks on how to: Find the right dog for your family's lifestyle Solve the most annoying behavioral problems Make sure your dog gets the exercise he needs Use food puzzles to prevent weight gain Prevent dog health problems Save money on medication, both traditional and alternative For seasoned dog owners as well as those looking to adopt a new friend, Dr. Becker provides all the insight that makes for both happy owners and happy dogs.

    Based on the chic French Tumblr Des Hommes et des Chatons,  Men & Cats  presents an original collection of 50 pairs of sexy men and adorable cats. Each clever match-up shows a heartthrob posing alongside a cat in a similar pose or with a similar expression. Not sure if you want to look at sexy men or cute cats? With this book, you don't have to choose.