This is not one of those books. On the contrary, this is a collection of terrible, awkward, and laughably unreadable excerpts that will teach you what to avoid—at all costs—if you ever want your novel published.In How Not to Write a Novel, authors Howard Mittelmark and Sandra Newman distill their 30 years combined experience in teaching, editing, writing, and reviewing fiction to bring you real advice from the other side of the query letter. Rather than telling you how or what to write, they identify the 200 most common mistakes unconsciously made by writers and teach you to recognize, avoid, and amend them. With hilarious "mis-examples" to demonstrate each manuscript-mangling error, they'll help you troubleshoot your beginnings and endings, bad guys, love interests, style, jokes, perspective, voice, and more. As funny as it is useful, this essential how-NOT-to guide will help you get your manuscript out of the slush pile and into the bookstore.

    Anderson has written 160 books—nearly fifteen million words!—most of them by dictating into a hand-held recorder while hiking. Award-winning novelist and short story writer Martin L. Shoemaker dictates chapters and stories while driving, turning his daily commute into a productive work session. These two die-hard “dictators,” share their techniques and insights into how dictation can help you *Improve your writing productivity *Use otherwise lost time to brainstorm, plot, develop characters, write articles, and more *Get inspired by leaving your confined office and getting a fresh perspective elsewhere *Stay in shape while writing On Being a Dictator, part of the Million Dollar Writing Series, will help you think outside the box, consider a different writing method, and up your game in the fast-paced ever-changing world of publishing.

    Trouble is, plot is where most writers fall down--but you don't have to be one of them. With this book, you'll learn how to create stories that build suspense, reveal character, and engage readers--one scene at a time.Celebrated writing teacher and author Martha Alderson has devised a plotting system that's as innovative as it is easy to implement. With her foolproof blueprint, you'll learn to devise a successful storyline for any genre. She shows how to:Use the power of the Universal StoryCreate plot lines and subplots that work togetherEffectively use a scene tracker for maximum impactInsert energetic markers at the right points in your storyShow character transformation at the book's climaxThis is the ultimate guide for you to write page-turners that sell!

    The bestselling grammar book has been updated and revised to include the latest and greatest on the basics and subtleties of English, and features a new chapter on the language of the Internet.

    This might not be the only LSAT book you read, but it should definitely be the first. In his down-to-earth, often irreverent style, Nathan demystifies the confusing world of logic games, logical reasoning, and reading comprehension. In no time, you'll start to see through the BS and dominate the test. The approaches are easy to digest, and will stick with you when you finally sit down for the big day. No nonsense. No made-up, trademarked buzzwords. No confusing jargon. And best of all, no pulled punches. Plus, you’ll also find out how you can contact Nathan directly with your questions. So grab a pencil and crack this book. Let's get it on.

      “Ask me to your bed,” he said. “I shall come to ye.”   In this revealing compendium, acclaimed writer Diana Gabaldon shares her invaluable lessons for creating an immersive reading experience, from evoking a mood to using the power of emotions to communicate physical intimacy. You’ll learn the difference between gratuitous sex and genuine encounters that move the story forward, and how to handle less-than-savory acts that nevertheless serve a narrative purpose. Gabaldon also notes that sex can be conveyed instead of described. With such tips as “The Rule of Three” for involving the senses, handy lists of naughty euphemisms (with instructions for use), and Gabaldon’s own examples from the Outlander novels, “I Give You My Body . . .” is a master class in writing to draw readers in and keep them riveted to the page.

    Illustrated with comically apt reproductions by the nineteenth-century artist George Cruikshank, Armed Gunmen, True Facts, and Other Ridiculous Nonsense is an antidote to a growing tendency in contemporary usage - and the perfect book for grammarphobes, word-geeks, and language lovers alike.

    George combines clear, intelligent, and functional advice on fiction writing with anecdotes from her own life, the story of her journey to publication, and inside information on how she meticulously researches and writes her novels. George's solid understanding of craft is conveyed in the enticing manner of a true storyteller, making Write Away not only a marvelous, interesting, and informative book but also a glimpse inside the world of a beloved writer.

    Could you keep your cool while talking to all levels of stupid? Would you be able to wear a headset all day without wanting to throw it out of the window? All calls are recorded, analysed and timed to the second. Average handling time (AHT) is discussed as if it's the very meaning of life and managers are always coming up with new ways to shave milliseconds from each call. Is it acceptable to only have a total eight minutes a day for visits to the toilet or coffee machine? Imagine not being allowed to hang up on someone who is screaming abuse down the line at you. Welcome to the Call Centre! Izabelle worked in call centres for many years; from insurance to home shopping, from selling advertising to discussing loans. Finally in the early hours one morning, she decided enough was in fact far too much and left her final call centre job the same day, never to return. On her way out of the door for the final time she vowed she would write a book about life in a call centre. Here is that book. Read about call centres in general, memorable customers and staff. How do staff stay sane? What is Big Red? Are cranberries the true meaning of Christmas? Why would you have leather trousers round your ankles in a lift? How not to impress your boss. Izabelle shares these and many other true tales from her years of incarceration in UK call centres.

    It's not hard to find instructions for converting from Word to Kindle -- but these instructions are usually less helpful than they could be. Many, for example, proclaim that Word's HTML output requires extensive alteration and cleanup before submission. This advice is misguided. Some who offer it have drawn their conclusions after simply choosing the wrong export option. Others fuss about a moderate amount of excess code, not realizing that it doesn't increase file size enough to matter or that the Kindle ignores it anyway. Other instructions will imply the opposite: that conversion is straightforward and just what you would expect. Supposedly, as long as you start with a properly formatted Word document, you'll wind up with a well-formatted ebook. Well, it doesn't really work that way -- not without a few techniques for tricking or bullying the Kindle into doing what you want. In this book, Aaron Shepard offers his own tips for moving your document from Word to Kindle, with a focus on desktop Word versions from 2003/2004 to 2010/2011. ///////////////////////////////////////////////// Aaron Shepard is a foremost proponent of the new business of profitable self publishing, which he has practiced and helped develop since 1998. He is the author of -Aiming at Amazon, - -POD for Profit, - and -Perfect Pages, - as well as two other books on Kindle formatting. ///////////////////////////////////////////////// CONTENTS Getting Started 1 FIRST STEPS Working with Word Document Setup Text Cleanup 2 KINDLE FORMATTING Special Characters Font Formatting Paragraph Styles Paragraph Spacing Paragraph Justification Line Breaking Page Layout 3 SPECIAL ELEMENTS Other Paragraphs Lists Tables Text Boxes and Sidebars Footnotes and Endnotes Pictures 4 NAVIGATION Web Links Internal Links Tables of Contents Menu Items 5 FINAL STEPS HTML Export Book Covers Book Data Submitting and Previewing ///////////////////////////////////////////////// SAMPLE By default, Word will apply the Normal style to your paragraphs. Amazon knows this, so for some Kindles, it hijacks that style, changing its formatting to what Amazon prefers. This can lead, for example, to unwanted space above or below a paragraph. If you want control of your own formatting, then, you'll have to avoid the Normal style and apply something different. There's no problem, though, with applying styles based on Normal, or even with applying a duplicate of Normal under a completely different name. In regard to this, watch out for manual page breaks in recent versions of Word. Unless you're in Compatibility Mode, each break is now placed in a paragraph of its own, and the Normal style is assigned automatically. That in itself isn't a problem -- but if you then hit Return and start typing, your new paragraph will be in Normal as well. (This is another reason to stick to the paragraph format setting -Page break before- to start a new page.) You can change all paragraphs already in Normal style to a different one by using the Format menu in the Find and Replace dialog. Don't enter any text, but place your cursor in first the Find box and then the Replace while choosing a style for each.

    In Adventurer at Heart he shares his life story, and provides a compelling and unique insight into this remarkable pursuit.It takes a Tour de France cyclist about 90 hours of cycling, spread over three weeks with rest days, to complete the race. An adventure race, however, can take up to 160 hours of non-stop racing over as much as six days, with virtually no sleep or rest. To excel at this sport requires an elite level of skill in mountain running, mountain biking, kayaking, rafting and navigation but, above all, an almost superhuman capacity to endure suffering and pain.Part-Samoan, Nathan was raised in Nelson, and it was as a wayward adolescent that he discovered outdoor adventure. Since then he has never looked back, and has been a full-time adventurer working as an outdoor educator, the owner of multiple adventure-based businesses, and a professional athlete.Nathan’s career has taken him all over the world, and he has raced in the deserts of Africa, Mexico and the Emirates, the plains of Tibet and China, and the peaks and valleys of Nepal, Ecuador, Brazil, Patagonia, Russia, the European Alps, and New Zealand.Adventurer at Heart is a story of courage and perseverance, and of overcoming tremendous challenges. Nathan Fa’avae is an outstanding New Zealander, and this book is an inspiring account of what it takes to become a world champion.

    Since ours is the only guidebook that's official, this book includes the most accurate information on prices, changes, and new attractions for 2014: --As the pixie dust settles on the newly-expanded Fantasyland, Birnbaum describes everything this Magic Kingdom neighborhood has to offer, including the highly-anticipated Seven Dwarfs Mine Train coaster-an E-Ticket attraction for the whole family.--Can't get enough of the Disney characters? We'll help you find them. A great place to start is at the brand-new Pete's Silly Sideshow, where you can mingle with circus stars Minnie Magnifique, Madame Daisy Fortuna, The Great Goofini, and The Astounding Donaldo!--There's no doubt about it: Fastpass really does cut the time spent waiting in line for the most popular theme park attractions. We give the scoop on this free system and list all the attractions that offer this golden opportunity to skip the standby line.--Big doin's at the Grand Floridian resort! The old favorite has new rooms (courtesy of the Disney Vacation Club), a refreshed (and refreshing) state-of-the-art spa, a splashy new Alice In Wonderland-themed "sprayground," and more. Turn to Birnbaum for the full report.--With or without the Disney Dining Plan, you still need to pre-book those meals or risk missing out on your family's favorites. Birnbaum explains the WDW reservation system, along with descriptions of each and every eatery on property. There's also a handy chart detailing all the opportunities there are to dine with Disney characters and a Restaurant Round-up highlighting the best cuisine the World has to offer.--More money-saving coupon offers than ever before, all geared to help you stretch your Walt Disney World vacation dollar.--And a very special Birnbaum exclusive: A brand-new Kingdom Keepers Quest from bestselling author Ridley Pearson.

    Pricing Strategies is about making the most from your work by understanding what your genre will support. It’s not hard, but you have to have a plan. Over the course of a year, you might change your book’s price five or ten times. That’s perfectly fine, when done for the right reasons as part of an overall marketing strategy. What is one reader worth to you as an entry point into your author world? What is that reader worth if they stay on board?Pricing Strategies explains why and how you would vary price points, whether you are exclusive to Amazon or distribute on multiple platforms. Book pricing is about getting the most money from your book or box set, not just one time but for the long term. It is how you can be a successful indie author. Without buyers for your books, self-publishing is just a hobby. Look at your words as your profession and earn your just desserts by pricing your books appropriately and intentionally to improve your bottom line.That’s what Pricing Strategies is all about. Understand the why and let the money flow. Pricing Strategies. The book you need.

    It is the follow-up book to Police, Crime & 999, a book which still remains hugely popular today, with over 250 5-star Amazon reviews, and which garnered positive feedback from a number of national publications:‘Everything is included in this warts-and-all account. Very funny’ The Sun‘A treasure trove of a book – a wonderfully informative and addictive read, full of belly laughs’ The Non-Fiction Book ClubWARNING: Contains Humour & Traces of Nuts

    [It] was due the next day. We were out at our family cabin in Bolinas, and he was at the kitchen table close to tears, surrounded by binder paper and pencils and unopened books on birds, immobilized by the hugeness of the task ahead. Then my father sat down beside him, put his arm around my brother's shoulder, and said. 'Bird by bird, buddy. Just take it bird by bird.'"With this basic instruction always in mind, Anne Lamott returns to offer us a new gift: a step-by-step guide on how to write and on how to manage the writer's life. From "Getting Started,' with "Short Assignments," through "Shitty First Drafts," "Character," "Plot," "Dialogue." all the way from "False Starts" to "How Do You Know When You're Done?" Lamott encourages, instructs, and inspires. She discusses "Writers Block," "Writing Groups," and "Publication." Bracingly honest, she is also one of the funniest people alive.If you have ever wondered what it takes to be a writer, what it means to be a writer, what the contents of your school lunches said about what your parents were really like, this book is for you. From faith, love, and grace to pain, jealousy, and fear, Lamott insists that you keep your eyes open, and then shows you how to survive. And always, from the life of the artist she turns to the art of life.