This pitch-perfect illustrated book proves this simple fact by diving whiskers first into the unique personality, charisma, and character of 50 real all-black cats. From Alfie, who "has no tolerance for wet humans or being ignored," to Sashi, who "enjoys freeze-dried chicken by candlelight and full-on body rubs," each cat comes to life through a lovingly hand-drawn portrait and quick-witted profile. Delightfully quirky and utterly charming, this motley crew of black cats will win over anyone with a dry sense of humor.

    Most of all, it’s about the difficulties of staying on the planet when it’s spinning out of control.While taking a humorous look at health, grandparenthood, computers, and social issues, How to Succeed… answers such pressing questions as: What brand of yogurt guarantees you will live to 110? Can older people really shop online, or is the "submit order" button visible only to users under 30? And how many pixels does it take to win your grandchild’s affection?As we get older, we can whine or complain about our losses--memory, muscles, and mobility--or we can roll with the paunches. This book rolls.

    But Arlo has something else: a little pal who’s not afraid to tell him when he’s being insufferable!In the first of three episodes, a battle of the brains and bird-to-bird banter soon turns into an unexpected friendship. Arlo and Pips' adventures include a visit the big city and the beach on their hunt for shiny things and French fries. Crow facts are included throughout the book.

    Viewers of the program saw the Local Shop attacked by a mob from Royston Vasey and burnt to the ground. Local Shopkeepers Tubbs and Edward were last seen engulfed by flames and falling masonry. But unbeknown to Edward, Tubbs had been keeping a scrapbook of things she had found on the moors, which she called "a local book for local people." Recovered from the smoking ruins of the building, 4th Estate now presents an exact facsimile of that scrapbook. It contains fold-out maps, photographs, brochures, guides to sites of local interest, Herr Lipp's pink pomplet, Val and Harvey Denton's toad-themed wallpaper, and much, much more.

    It now appears in 250 newspapers, including the Los Angeles Times, San Francisco Examiner, Chicago Tribune, Boston Globe, Detroit Free Press, Philadelphia Inquirer, and Seattle Times. Readers can't get enough of the goofy trio that populate this hilarious strip: Rob Wilco, the single, mild-mannered advertising executive, and his two rambunctious pets, Bucky, the sharp-fanged, self-absorbed cat, and Satchel, the easygoing mixed-breed dog who ends up on the receiving end of Bucky's mischief. The combination creates Get Fuzzy's astutely witty take on relationships between the species.Now, in a size and format that's perfect for die-hard fans and those looking for the perfect gift, I Would Have Bought You a Cat, But . . . will become the must-have little treasure for everyone who craves a bit more of the trademark Get Fuzzy foolishness, or just enjoys a good chuckle.

    Malik has been secretly in love with Rose Mbikwa, a woman who leads the weekly bird walks sponsored by the East African Ornithological Society. Just as Malik is getting up the nerve to invite Rose to the Nairobi Hunt Club Ball (the premier social occasion of the Kenyan calendar), Harry Khan, a nemesis from his school days, arrives in town.Khan has also become enraptured with Rose and announces his intent to invite her to the Ball. Rather than force Rose to choose between the two men, a clever solution is proposed. Whoever can identify the most species of birds in one week’s time gets the privilege of asking Ms. Mbikwa to the ball.

    Ever been mortified by predictive text on your smart phone? You are not alone. This brings together more of the laugh-out-loud funny and painfully embarrassing posts from damnyouautocorrect.com, which highlight the hilarity that often ensues when text messaging goes wrong. This second volume of epic auto-correct fails is packed with never-before-seen content, as well as the most cringe-worthy posts from the site.

    guide addressing various scenarios, and everyday situations.

    But if there's one thing the two sides do agree on, it's that they love Patrick McDonnell's charming strip, Mutts.Mutts has won the devotion of animal lovers and comics readers across the land. Fans love the charming humor the talented McDonnell provides, as well as his one-of-a-kind artistic style that stands apart on the funny pages. Yesh! features Earl the dog, his pal Mooch the cat, and the plethora of other lovable animal regulars who pop in and out of their lives.Few people could conceive what animals are truly thinking until McDonnell gave us the antics and adventures of Earl and Mooch. In one series of strips, Earl reveals what pets think when their owners are late arriving home: ""I must ration my dinner...who knows how long it will need to last?...The day?...The week?...The next two minutes?"" His buddy Mooch declares after becoming stranded on top of a tree: ""I need to reassess my goals.""The delightful personalities of McDonnell's animal stars have won the hearts and acclaim of readers the world over. Veteran cartoonist Charles Schulz called Mutts one of the best strips ever. The strip earned the National Cartoonists Society's Comic Strip of the Year Award in 1996. In 1998, McDonnell captured the Swedish Academy of Comic Art's Award for Best International Comic Strip Artist. Yesh! celebrates the subtle humor and unparalleled style of a strip that hearkens back to the classic strips of yesteryear.

    It premiered 37 years ago, in 1973, and, after 31 series it finally came to an end last year – even though all its original protagonists – Compo, Foggy, even Nora Batty – are now dead. Remarkably, for a series of such longevity and international appeal, it is all about elderly people, has little action or plot, and is set and filmed in and around the small Yorkshire town of Holmfirth. Now, Andrew Vine, the deputy editor of Yorkshire’s daily newspaper, has written the definitive history of this television phenomenon. It covers the show’s inauspicious beginnings, with low ratings, its endless reinvention as participants like Bill Owen, Michael Bates, Brian Wilde and Kathy Staff retired or died, the appearance of a string of guest stars from John Cleese and Norman Wisdom to Thora Hird and Russ Abbott (both of whom soon found themselves fixtures in the cast), and the ingenious plot contrivances as the protagonists became too old and frail to attempt any of the slapstick stunts with runaway prams – indeed any outdoor action. Holmfirth is now a year-round tourist attraction, and endless repeats and new DVD box sets will ensure a readership for this book for years to come.

    This book is designed to help both you and your loved ones make it through the unexpected and embarrassing experience of receiving a dump from the sky.

    Here, he explains how you can effortlessly hold your own against the most highbrow members of society, so that never again will you confuse 'consomme' with 'coulis', or 'entree' with 'entrecote'."

    For example, I was once pinned down by a young lad who repeatedly asked me why I was hitting myself, when he knew full well that I had temporarily ceded hegemony over my hands and forearms. I tried to explain it to him, but he didn’t seem to comprehend. In retrospect, I can only conclude that my explanation was not articulate enough.To that end, I and Phil Plait have teamed up to create precisely 128 insults designed to weaken the resolve of aggressors, while educating them in their primary field of interest. Whether the person pummeling you is a student of mathematics or belles-lettres, we have the right words for the occasion.Zach WeinersmithPS: In the highly likely situation that the person pummeling you refuses to cease his aggression until he understands the meaning of the insult, we have also provided an appendix in which the insults are explained.

    The right way, the wrong way and the Top Gear way. Although, on reflection, that's usually just the wrong way, but faster and with more shouting. Anyway, the good news is that this third way of doing things can be applied to almost anything, and that includes motoring in general. All you need is the right guidance, which is where the brand new Top Gear Alternative Highway Code comes in. Top Gear's Altnernative Highway Code will show you how to bring the ambitious but rubbish philosophies of the world's most popular TV programme to your driving, containing advice on general motoring, as well as specific tips on how to deal with common eventualities like a rapidly sinking amphibious camper van, a caravan airship that's just crashed into a small bush, or a stupid home-made limousine that's snapped in half while transporting a top celebrity to an awards ceremony.Road users should not leave home without it.

    In this raffish, hilarious, scathing yet often surprisingly humane collection, Gill applies his unmatched wit to the largest and smallest issues of our time. Whether you're struggling to satisfy your other half, having a crisis over your baldness, don't like your daughter's boyfriend, or need the definitive rules on shorts, leather jackets and man-bags, AA Gill has all the answers - but you'd better brace yourself first.