How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving


David RichoDavid Richo - 2002
    Drawing on the Buddhist concept of mindfulness, How to Be an Adult in Relationships explores five hallmarks of mindful loving and how they play a key role in our relationships throughout life:    1.  Attention to the present moment; observing, listening, and noticing all the feelings at play in our relationships.    2.  Acceptance of ourselves and others just as we are.    3.  Appreciation of all our gifts, our limits, our longings, and our poignant human predicament.    4.  Affection shown through holding and touching in respectful ways.    5.  Allowing life and love to be just as they are, with all their ecstasy and ache, without trying to take control. When deeply understood and applied, these five simple concepts—what Richo calls the five A's—form the basis of mature love. They help us to move away from judgment, fear, and blame to a position of openness, compassion, and realism about life and relationships. By giving and receiving these five A's, relationships become deeper and more meaningful, and they become a ground for personal transformation.

How To Break Up With Friends: From Friendshit to Friendsplit – a guide to ditching crappy companions


Hannah Korrel - 2020
      The one who expects the world, but never remembers your birthday. The one who constantly ditches your dinner plans when you’re already halfway to the restaurant. The one who leaves you feeling exhausted, used and completely emotionally battered.   Why do we let these people into our lives? When is their friendship actually friend-shit? How do we dump these crappy companions?   This is the no-bullshit, essential guide for anyone devoting their precious time and energy into maintaining friendships with toxic friends. Using activities, truth bombs, and real-life examples, neuropscyhologist Dr Hannah Korrel will help you to identify the bad friends in your life, understand what true friendship should look like, learn how to attract the best people, and become the best friend you can be yourself.   Provocative, funny, and brutally honest, How To Break Up With Friends will change the way you look at friendship forever.

Everybody Fights: So Why Not Get Better at It?


Kim Holderness - 2021
    We mow our lawns and pull weeds. Why don’t we do maintenance on our marriages? This relationship is the most important one we will ever have, so why not get better at it?For the last several years, Penn and Kim Holderness of The Holderness Family have done the hard maintenance and the research to learn how to fight better. With the help of their marriage coach Dr. Christopher Edmonston, they break down their biggest (and in some cases, funniest) fights. How did a question about chicken wings turn into a bra fight (no, not a bar fight; a bra fight)? How did a roll of toilet paper lead to tears, resentment, and a stint in the guest bedroom?With their trademark sense of humor and complete vulnerability, Penn and Kim share their ten most common Fight Fails and how to combat them. Throughout the book, they offer scripts for how to start, continue, and wrap up hard conversations. Couples will emerge equipped to engage and understand, not do battle—and maybe laugh a little more along the way. In Everybody Fights, couples will learn how touse “magic words” to navigate conflictbreak free of secret contractsbanish the three Ds—distraction, denial, and delaycarry their own individual baggage while helping each other deal with theirs Penn and Kim want you to know you’re not alone. Everybody fights. Marriage is messy. Marriage is work. But marriage is worth it. Fight for it.

Falling in Love for All the Right Reasons: How to Find Your Soul Mate


Neil Clark Warren - 2005
    The founder of eHarmony online relationship service offers guidance for identifying character traits that can be measured to evaluate a couple's potential compatibility.

Setting Boundaries with Difficult People


David J. Lieberman - 2010
    David J. Lieberman, introduces a wonderful right-to-the-point book that shows readers how to put an end to boundary issues once and for all!A work colleague with whom you have only a casual relationship asks you to co-sign a loan for him . . . your neighbor asks you to keep her antisocial, flea-riddled cat for the weekend — again. We've all faced sticky situations like these — unreasonable demands on our time and inappropriate requests from family, friends, co-workers or casual acquaintances. We want to say No. We have the right to say No — always. And yet we don't. Maybe you tell yourself that you don’t want to make waves or ruffle feathers, or that it’s simply not worth it; but part of you simmers with anger and frustration that you didn’t speak up and do something— anything.Isn't it ironic how a two-year-old can bark a resounding and guilt-free NO! without batting an eye, yet we grown-ups often find ourselves saying Yes when we mean to say No? Or we say "Let me think about it . . .” and agonize for weeks over how to say, inevitably, No. We've all had our share of freeloaders, mooches, encroachers, interlopers, high-maintenance acquaintances — many of whom are repeat offenders. We've all had to deal with people who ask for favors that are inappropriate or unreasonable because they exceed the boundaries of our relationship with them. And we think, Why doesn't he realize he's crossing the line? The answer is: Because he doesn't know where the line is, or he doesn't care. The problem, as you're about to learn, is leaky boundaries. Some people have such permeable, poorly-defined boundaries that they have no concept of where they end and you begin. Some people will take No for an answer and that's the end of it. But some people don't. What do you do when the person on the other end of your No flat out refuses to accept your No?You'll discover exactly what to say as well as learn the underlying psychology that motivates them to always ask, and you to always give in!

Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough


Lori Gottlieb - 2010
    So what if you haven't found The One just yet. Surely he'll come along, right? But what if he doesn't? Or even worse, what if he already has, but you just didn't realize it? Suddenly finding herself forty and single, Lori Gottlieb said the unthinkable in her March 2008 article in "The Atlantic" Maybe she and single women everywhere, needed to stop chasing the elusive Prince Charming and instead go for Mr. Good Enough. Looking at her friends' happy marriages to good enough guys who happen to be excellent husbands and fathers, Gottlieb declared it time to reevaluate what we really need in a partner. Her ideas created a firestorm of controversy from outlets like the "Today" show to "The Washington Post," which wrote, "Given the perennial shortage of perfect men, Gottlieb's probably got a point," to "Newsweek" and NPR, which declared, "Lori Gottlieb didn't want to take her mother's advice to be less picky, but now that she's turned forty, she wonders if her mother is right." Women all over the world were talking. But while many people agreed that they should have more realistic expectations, what did that actually mean out in the real world, where Gottlieb and women like her were inexorably drawn to their "type"? That's where "Marry Him" comes in. By looking at everything from culture to biology, in "Marry Him" Gottlieb frankly explores the dilemma that so many women today seem to face--how to reconcile the strong desire for a husband and family with a list of must-haves so long and complicated that many great guys get rejected out of the gate. Here Gottlieb shares her own journey in the quest for romantic fulfillment, and in the process gets wise guidance and surprising insights from marital researchers, matchmakers, dating coaches, behavioral economists, neuropsychologists, sociologists, couples therapists, divorce lawyers, and clergy--as well as single and married men and women, ranging in age from their twenties to their sixties. "Marry Him" is an eye-opening, often funny, sometimes painful, and always truthful in-depth examination of the modern dating landscape, and ultimately, a provocative wake-up call about getting real about Mr. Right.

The Lifegiving Home: Creating a Place of Belonging and Becoming


Sally Clarkson - 2016
    . . all year long.Does your home sometimes feel like just a place to eat, sleep, and change clothes on the way to the next activity? Do you long for "home" to mean more than a place where you stash your stuff? Wouldn't you love it to become a haven of warmth, rest, and joy . . . the one place where you and your family can't wait to be?There is good news waiting for you in the pages of The Lifegiving Home. Every day of your family's life can be as special and important to you as it already is to God. In this unique book designed to help your family enjoy and celebrate every month of the year together, you'll discover the secrets of a life-giving home from a mother who created one and her daughter who was raised in it: popular authors Sally and Sarah Clarkson. Together they offer a rich treasure of wise advice, spiritual principles, and practical suggestions. You'll embark on a new path to creating special memories for your children; establishing home-building and God-centered traditions; and cultivating an environment in which your family will flourish. (Don't miss the companion piece, The Lifegiving Home Experience.)

Surrendering to Marriage


Iris Krasnow - 2001
    The truth is that bliss may be there at dawn and gone by lunch, she admits, and there are as many times that you feel like saying Screw you as you feel like saying I love you. In this book, Krasnow leads us through all of it -- the bliss and the blunders -- and with her we journey to the heart of the mystery. It s boring, confusing, sexy, stupid, hilarious, dark, and overwhelming; it s marriage.Through a series of interviews with those who have married, cheated, divorced, and remarried, Krasnow pieces out a shattered portrait of what we can expect from our vows. Each marriage is different, Krasnow shows us; some rest on friendship, while others crackle with sexual tension. But each is battered by a similar struggle. As remarried couples therapist Dr. Isaiah Zimmerman explains, At the heart of most problems is anger that you aren t getting what you think you are entitled to. We struggle with marriage, says Zimmerman (and Krasnow), because that s how we finally grow up.Krasnow wanders among different kinds of marriages, offering us perspective and thoughtful reflection. That is what is moving about this book: Like marriage, it s a container for divergent, warring perspectives that can never be totally resolved. It s not easy, but it opens our eyes to the dark beauty of love.

The Path Between Us: An Enneagram Journey to Healthy Relationships


Suzanne Stabile - 2018
    And that can make relationships hard, whether with intimate partners, with friends, or in our professional lives. Understanding the motivations and dynamics of these different personality types can be the key that unlocks sometimes mystifying behavior in others—and in ourselves.This book from Suzanne Stabile on the nine Enneagram types and how they behave and experience relationships will guide readers into deeper insights about themselves, their types, and others' personalities so that they can have healthier, more life-giving relationships. No one is better equipped than Suzanne Stabile, coauthor, with Ian Morgan Cron, of The Road Back to You, to share the Enneagram's wisdom on how relationships work—or don’t.• Why do Sixes seem so intimidated and put off by Eights, who only wish the Sixes would stop mulling things over and take action?• Why do Fives seem so unavailable, even to their closest family and friends, while Twos seem to feel everybody else’s feelings but their own and end up irritating people who don’t want their help?• How in the world can Fours be so open and loving to you one day and restrained and distant other times?The Enneagram not only answers these questions but gives us a way out of our usual finger pointing and judging of other people—and finding them wanting, perplexing, or impossible. Suzanne's generous, sometimes humorous, and always insightful approach reveals why all the types behave as they do. This book offers help in fostering more loving, mature, and compassionate relationships with everyone in our lives.

201 Relationship Questions: The Couple’s Guide to Building Trust and Emotional Intimacy


Barrie Davenport - 2015
     The Power of Questions For Couples Mutual questioning is a powerful technique to draw out deeper emotions and desires and address potential areas of conflict before they disrupt your closeness. The right questions inspire understanding, compassion and action for positive change. Questions like: What does unconditional love mean to you? Do I do anything to make you feel disrespected? How can I listen to you better so you feel completely heard? What should I never say to you, even in anger? How can I make you feel more desirable and sexy? Take Control: How Relationship Questions Can Change Your Life When you and your partner embark on a mutual questioning journey, you are committing to an intimate, satisfying, joyful life together. Rather than waiting for conflict and resentment to inflict a surprise attack,  you’re proactively addressing the needs and wounds both of you carry and reinforcing your commitment to the relationship above all else. This journey will be enlightening, fun, and sometimes challenging -- but the rewards are immeasurable, as you lay the groundwork for a lifetime of happiness together.  DOWNLOAD:: 201 Relationship Questions: The Couple's Guide to Building Trust and Emotional Intimacy 201 Relationship Questions is your guide to creating a happier, healthier, sexier, and more intimate connection. Share each question, read the question prompts, invite discussion, and keep a personal journal of the changes you both want to make. Action is required, as your answers to the questions reveal exactly what you need to do to protect and strengthen your connection.Set aside sacred time together for questions each day, and keep your relationship fresh and exciting for a lifetime. Remember: This book is a great wedding gift or Christmas gift for couples.

The Book of Forgiving: The Fourfold Path for Healing Ourselves and Our World


Desmond Tutu - 2013
    If you asked anyone what they thought was going to happen to South Africa after apartheid, almost universally it was predicted that the country would be devastated by a comprehensive bloodbath. Yet, instead of revenge and retribution, this new nation chose to tread the difficult path of confession, forgiveness, and reconciliation.Each of us has a deep need to forgive and to be forgiven. After much reflection on the process of forgiveness, Tutu has seen that there are four important steps to healing: Admitting the wrong and acknowledging the harm; Telling one's story and witnessing the anguish; Asking for forgiveness and granting forgiveness; and renewing or releasing the relationship. Forgiveness is hard work. Sometimes it even feels like an impossible task. But it is only through walking this fourfold path that Tutu says we can free ourselves of the endless and unyielding cycle of pain and retribution. The Book of Forgiving is both a touchstone and a tool, offering Tutu's wise advice and showing the way to experience forgiveness. Ultimately, forgiving is the only means we have to heal ourselves and our aching world.

The Tech-Wise Family: Everyday Steps for Putting Technology in Its Proper Place


Andy Crouch - 2017
    It's about developing wisdom, character, and courage in the way we use digital media rather than accepting technology's promises of ease, instant gratification, and the world's knowledge at our fingertips. And it's definitely not just about the kids.Drawing on in-depth original research from the Barna Group, Andy Crouch shows readers that the choices we make about technology have consequences we may never have considered. He takes readers beyond the typical questions of what, where, and when and instead challenges them to answer provocative questions like, Who do we want to be as a family? and How does our use of a particular technology move us closer or farther away from that goal? Anyone who has felt their family relationships suffer or their time slip away amid technology's distractions will find in this book a path forward to reclaiming their real life in a world of devices.

Getting the Love You Want : A Guide for Couples


Harville Hendrix - 2005
    In this groundbreaking book, Dr Harville Hendrix shares with you what he has learned about the psychology of love during more than thirty years of working as a therapist and helps you transform your relationship into a lasting source of love and companionship. For this edition of his classic book, Dr Hendrix and his wife, Helen LaKelly Hunt, have added a new introduction describing the powerful influence this book has had on so many people over the years. With its step-by-step programme, GETTING THE LOVE YOU WANT will help you create a loving, supportive and revitalized partnership.

The Second Mountain


David Brooks - 2019
    Our personal fulfillment depends on how well we choose and execute these commitments. In The Second Mountain, Brooks looks at a range of people who have lived joyous, committed lives, and who have embraced the necessity of dependence. He gathers their wisdom on how to choose a partner, how to pick a vocation, how to live out a philosophy, and how we can begin to integrate our commitments into one overriding purpose.In short, this book is meant to help us all lead more meaningful lives. But it’s also a provocative social commentary. We live in a society, Brooks argues, that celebrates freedom, that tells us to be true to ourselves, at the expense of surrendering to a cause, rooting ourselves in a neighborhood, binding ourselves to others by social solidarity and love. We have taken individualism to the extreme—and in the process we have torn the social fabric in a thousand different ways. The path to repair is through making deeper commitments. In The Second Mountain, Brooks shows what can happen when we put commitment-making at the center of our lives.

Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care about Has Borderline Personality Disorder


Paul T. Mason - 1998
    It is designed to help them understand how the disorder affects their loved ones and recognize what they can do to get off the emotional roller coasters and take care of themselves.