Why My Third Husband Will Be a Dog: The Amazing Adventures of an Ordinary Woman


Lisa Scottoline - 2009
    In her column, Lisa lets her hair down, roots and all, to show the humorous side of life from a woman’s perspective. The Sunday column debuted in 2007 and on the day it started, Lisa wrote, “I write novels, so I usually have 100,000 words to tell a story. In a column there’s only 700 words. I can barely say hello in 700 words. I’m Italian.” The column gained momentum and popularity. Word of mouth spread, and readers demanded a collection. Why My Third Husband Will Be a Dog is that collection. Seventy vignettes. Vintage Scottoline.In this collection, you’ll laugh about:• Being caught braless in the emergency room• Betty and Veronica’s Life Lessons for Girls• A man’s most important body part• Interrupting as an art form• A religion men and women can worship• Real estate ads as porn• Spanx are public enemy number one• And so much more about life, love, family, pets, and the pursuit of jeans that actually fit!

Bury My Heart at Chuck E. Cheese's


Tiffany Midge - 2019
    There are presumably more important concerns in Indian Country. More important than humor? Among the Diné/Navajo, a ceremony is held in honor of a baby’s first laugh. While the context is different, it nonetheless reminds us that laughter is precious, even sacred.Bury My Heart at Chuck E. Cheese’s is a powerful and compelling collection of Tiffany Midge’s musings on life, politics, and identity as a Native woman in America. Artfully blending sly humor, social commentary, and meditations on love and loss, Midge weaves short, stand-alone musings into a memoir that stares down colonialism while chastising hipsters for abusing pumpkin spice. She explains why she does not like pussy hats, mercilessly dismantles pretendians, and confesses her own struggles with white-bread privilege.   Midge goes on to ponder Standing Rock, feminism, and a tweeting president, all while exploring her own complex identity and the loss of her mother. Employing humor as an act of resistance, these slices of life and matchless takes on urban-Indigenous identity disrupt the colonial narrative and provide commentary on popular culture, media, feminism, and the complications of identity, race, and politics.

Cheer Up, Love: Adventures in Depression with the Crab of Hate


Susan Calman - 2016
    Her solo stand up show, Susan Calman is Convicted, was broadcast on BBC Radio 4 and dealt with subjects like the death penalty, appearance and depression. The reaction to the show she wrote about mental health was so positive that she wanted to expand on the show and write a more detailed account of surviving when you're the world's most negative person. The Crab of Hate is the personification of Calman's depression and her version of the notorious Black Dog. A constant companion in her life, the Crab has provided her with the best, and very worst of times. This is a very personal memoir of how, after many years and with a lot of help and talking, she has embraced her dark side and realised that she can be the most joyous sad person you'll ever meet.

Kiss My Tiara: How to Rule the World as a SmartMouth Goddess


Susan Jane Gilman - 2001
    Gilman serves up advice on everything from sex to politics.

The Emotionary


Eden Sher - 2016
    All her life, Eden Sher has suffered from dyscommunicatia (n. the inability to articulate a feeling through words.). Then, one day, she decided that, whenever she had an emotion for which she had no word, she would make one up. The result of this is The Emotionary, which lives at the intersection of incredibly funny and very useful. Chock full of words you always wanted/never knew you needed, often accompanied by illustrations of hilarious and all-too-familiar situations, The Emotionary will be a cherished tool for you or the world-class feelings-haver in your life.   At long last, all your complicated feelings can be put into words, so you can recognize them for what they are, speak their names aloud, and move on. Finally!From the Hardcover edition.

How to be Champion


Sarah Millican - 2017
    If you haven't done those things but wish you had, This Is Your Book. If you just want to laugh on a train/sofa/toilet or under your desk at work, This Is Your Book.

Self-Editing for Fiction Writers: How to Edit Yourself Into Print


Renni Browne - 1993
    Here at last is a book by two professional editors to teach writers the techniques of the editing trade that turn promising manuscripts into published novels and short stories.In this completely revised and updated second edition, Renni Browne and Dave King teach you, the writer, how to apply the editing techniques they have developed to your own work. Chapters on dialogue, exposition, point of view, interior monologue, and other techniques take you through the same processes an expert editor would go through to perfect your manuscript. Each point is illustrated with examples, many drawn from the hundreds of books Browne and King have edited.

The Sh!t No One Tells You About Toddlers


Dawn Dais - 2015
    And you’re not getting any more sleep.Second in the Sh!t No One Tells You series, in The Sh!t No One Tells You About Toddlers Dawn Dais tells it like it is – again – offering real advice for parents of growing children. Filled with tips, encouragement, and a strong dose of humor, The Sh!t No One Tells You About Toddlers is a survival handbook for parents on the edge.Chapters include:You Suck at This. It’s not just your imagination.Walking Is Hard. Bruising is considerably less difficult.Remember When You Judged Other Parents? Prepare to eat your words, with a side of karma’s a bitch.Restaurants Are Battle Zones. Spoiler Alert: You are not the victor.Kids Get Sick. Then everyone gets sick.This Childhood Will Be Televised. Hello, camera phones.Your TV Has Been Hijacked. By things with very high-pitched voices.Coming from one empathetic parent to another, the tips in this book are real, clever, honest, and designed to make life with a terrible two- or three-year-old a little bit more manageable. Hilarious, helpful, and handy, this book will be appreciated by any parent who has asked: “Why didn’t anybody warn me that unconditional love would be so much work?”

Idiot Letters


Paul Rosa - 1995
    National television.

Bonk: The Curious Coupling of Science and Sex


Mary Roach - 2008
    Can a person think herself to orgasm? Why doesn't Viagra help women-or, for that matter, pandas? Can a dead man get an erection? Is vaginal orgasm a myth? Mary Roach shows us how and why sexual arousal and orgasm-two of the most complex, delightful, and amazing scientific phenomena on earth-can be so hard to achieve and what science is doing to make the bedroom a more satisfying place.

Lies Women Believe: And the Truth that Sets Them Free


Nancy Leigh DeMoss - 2000
    And the lies Christian women believe are at the root of most of their struggles. "Many women live under a cloud of personal guilt and condemnation," says Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth. "Many are in bondage to their past. Others are gripped by fear of rejection and a longing for approval. Still others are emotional prisoners." In best selling Lies Women Believe, Nancy exposes those areas of deception most commonly believed by Christian women—lies about God, sin, priorities, marriage and family, emotions, and more. She then sheds light on how we can be delivered from bondage and set free to walk in God's grace, forgiveness, and abundant life. Nancy offers the most effective weapon to ounter and overcome Satan's deceptions: God's truth!

MWF Seeking BFF: My Yearlong Search For A New Best Friend


Rachel Bertsche - 2011
    But shortly after getting married, she realizes that her new life is missing one thing: friends. Sure, she has plenty of BFFs—in New York and San Francisco and Boston and Washington, D.C. Still, in her adopted hometown, there’s no one to call at the last minute for girl talk over brunch or a reality-TV marathon over a bottle of wine. Taking matters into her own hands, Bertsche develops a plan: Meeting people everywhere from improv class to friend rental websites, she'll go on fifty-two friend-dates, one per week for a year, in hopes of meeting her new Best Friend Forever.

The Well-Educated Mind: A Guide to the Classical Education You Never Had


Susan Wise Bauer - 2003
    In her previous book, The Well-Trained Mind, the author provided a road map of classical education for parents wishing to home-school their children, and that book is now the premier resource for home-schoolers. In this new book, Bauer takes the same elements and techniques and adapts them to the use of adult readers who want both enjoyment and self-improvement from the time they spend reading.The Well-Educated Mind offers brief, entertaining histories of five literary genres—fiction, autobiography, history, drama, and poetry—accompanied by detailed instructions on how to read each type. The annotated lists at the end of each chapter—ranging from Cervantes to A. S. Byatt, Herodotus to Laurel Thatcher Ulrich—preview recommended reading and encourage readers to make vital connections between ancient traditions and contemporary writing.The Well-Educated Mind reassures those readers who worry that they read too slowly or with below-average comprehension. If you can understand a daily newspaper, there's no reason you can't read and enjoy Shakespeare's Sonnets or Jane Eyre. But no one should attempt to read the "Great Books" without a guide and a plan. Susan Wise Bauer will show you how to allocate time to your reading on a regular basis; how to master a difficult argument; how to make personal and literary judgments about what you read; how to appreciate the resonant links among texts within a genre—what does Anna Karenina owe to Madame Bovary?—and also between genres. Followed carefully, the advice in The Well-Educated Mind will restore and expand the pleasure of the written word.

Etiquette for Outlaws


Rob Cohen - 2001
    Curious to find out:what to wear to a Fetish Ball?the difference between "sticky green" and "backyard boogie?"which piercing has the worst pain factor?how to find the best bookie?Find out the answers to these questions and many more as Etiquette for Outlaws teaches you how to live it up in style with tips on:TattoosGraffitiMotorcyclesSuicideGamblingStrip ClubsAlternative SexDrinkingSwingingJailhouse FightingGangsPiercing

Friends on a Rotten Day: The Astrology of Friendships


Hazel Dixon-Cooper - 2008
    After all, lovers come and go, but our girlfriends sustain, nurture, and protect us from cradle to grave. Friends on a Rotten Day explores the supportive, uproarious, and sometimes complex, relationships between girlfriends through an indepth astrological analysis of each Sun sign. DixonCooper shows readers what makes their friend tick on a soul level, revealing each friend's inner character, friendship style, love style (including what to do or not do if a pal picks a loser), and party style. She offers suggestions on the best gifts to buy your friend, how to calm her down, cheer her up, and return the unconditional support and love that she gives you. Readers will discover why their Gemini buddy changes her mind so often, why the Virgo gal pal sweats the small stuff, why a Scorpio girlfriend sometimes seems distant, and why the Leo chum needs frequent headpats. They'll also learn why a Pisces pal should never be forced to make a snap decision, why a Capricorn girlfriend might seem too serious for her own good, the truth about a Taurus friend's hidden anxieties, the competitive side of an Aries chum, what causes Cancer pal's emotional train wrecks, why the Aquarius buddy has a rebellious side, and why the Sagittarius girlfriend has occasional angry outbursts. "Dixon-Cooper reveals what every astrologer knows but none has dared say. (She) takes us on a seriously humorous ride through the land of truth and consequences. I highly recommend it." (Suzanne White)