It has been translated into every major language on Earth and dozens of minor ones; it has spawned entire genres of animation, and had more books written about it than all but a handful of American Presidents. Even its minor characters have become iconic, and the titular family is recognizable in almost every corner of the planet. It is a definitive and truly global cultural phenomenon, perhaps the biggest of the television age. As of this writing, if you flip on FOX at 8pm on Sundays, you will see a program that bills itself as "The Simpsons". It is not "The Simpsons". That show, the landmark piece of American culture that debuted on 17 December 1989, went off the air more than a decade ago. The replacement is a hopelessly mediocre imitation that bears only a superficial resemblance to the original. It is the unwanted sequel, the stale spinoff, the creative dry hole that is kept pumping in the endless search for more money. It is Zombie Simpsons.

    With his dry wit and distinctive voice, Howard Mohr won millions of fans across the country on Garrison Keillor’s radio show A Prairie Home Companion. His popular commercials and ad spots, including one for “Minnesota Language Systems,” became the best of the best of Minnesota humor. Now, Mohr has updated his classic guide, How to Talk Minnesotan, to advise visitors on the use of Twitter and Facebook, cell phone etiquette, and more while in the Land of 10,000 Lakes.

    Some of the facts are funny. Some are surprising. And some are just plain weird. But all of them are true—and irresistibly fascinating!You'll find information on virtually every subject under the sun, including: Philosophy: On February 8, 2000, the meaning of life was auctioned on eBay. The winning bid was $3.26. Popular Culture: Charlie Chaplin once lost a Charlie Chaplin look-alike contest. Science: Dolly the sheep—the first cloned mammal—was named after country singer Dolly Parton. Sex: The largest human cell is the female ovum. The smallest is the male sperm. Sports: The average lifespan of an NHL hockey puck is 7 minutes. Statistics: On average, women utter 7,000 words a day while men manage just over 2,000.

    Why do parachute jumpers yell "Geronimo"?Is it aerodynamically impossible for bumblebees to fly?Will watching too much TV ruin your eyes?Fresh from the popular newspaper column by CECIL ADAMS!WHAT IS CECIL ADAMS'S IQ?"Do you want it in scientific notation? Little Ed, get out the slide rule."--Cecil AdamsFor more than a quarter of a century Cecil Adams has been courageously attempting to lift the veil of ignorance surrounding the modern world.  Now, in his fifth book, he takes yet another stab, dissecting such classic conundrums as--If you swim less than an hour after eating, will you get cramps and die?--What's the difference between a Looney Tune and a Merrie Melody?--Can you see a Munchkin committing suicide in The Wizard of Oz?--Was The Texas Chainsaw Massacre based on actual events?--Did medieval lords really have "the right of the first night"?And much more!THE CRITICS: STILL RAVING AFTER ALL THESE YEARS!"Trenchant, witty answers to the great imponderables."--Denver Post

    The Seven Deadly Virtues sits down next to readers at the bar, buys them a drink, and an hour or three later, ushers them into the revival tent without them even realizing it.   The book’s contributors include Sonny Bunch, Christopher Buckley, David “Iowahawk” Burge, Christopher Caldwell, Andrew Ferguson, Jonah Goldberg, Michael Graham, Mollie Hemingway, Rita Koganzon, Matt Labash, James Lileks, Rob Long, Larry Miller, P. J. O’Rourke, Joe Queenan, Christine Rosen, and Andrew Stiles. Jonathan V. Last, senior writer at the Weekly Standard, editor of the collection, is also a contributor. All eighteen essays in this book are appearing for the first time anywhere.   In the book’s opening essay, P. J. O’Rourke observes: “Virtue has by no means disappeared. It’s as much in public view as ever. But it’s been strung up by the heels. Virtue is upside down. Virtue is uncomfortable. Virtue looks ridiculous. All the change and the house keys are falling out of Virtue’s pants pockets.”   Here are the virtues everyone (including the book’s contributors) was taught in Sunday school but have totally forgotten about until this very moment.  In this sanctimony-free zone:   • Joe Queenan observes: “In essence, thrift is a virtue that resembles being very good at Mahjong. You’ve heard about people who can do it, but you’ve never actually met any of them.” • P. J. O’Rourke notes: “Fortitude is quaint. We praise the greatest generation for having it, but they had aluminum siding, church on Sunday, and jobs that required them to wear neckties or nylons (but never at the same time). We don’t want those either.” • Christine Rosen writes: “A fellowship grounded in sociality means enjoying the company of those with whom you actually share physical space rather than those with whom you regularly and enthusiastically exchange cat videos.” • Rob Long offers his version of modern day justice: if you sleep late on the weekend, you are forced to wait thirty minutes in line at Costco. • Jonah Goldberg offers: “There was a time when this desire-to-do-good-in-all-things was considered the only kind of integrity: ‘Angels are better than mortals. They’re always certain about what is right because, by definition, they’re doing God’s will.’ Gabriel knew when it was okay to remove a mattress tag and Sandalphon always tipped the correct amount.” • Sonny Bunch dissects forbearance, observing that the fictional Two Minutes Hate of George Orwell’s 1984 is now actually a reality directed at living, breathing people. Thanks, in part, to the Internet, “Its targets are designated by a spontaneously created mob—one that, due to its hive-mind nature—is virtually impossible to call off.”   By the time readers have completed The Seven Deadly Virtues, they won’t even realize that they’ve just been catechized into an entirely different—and better—moral universe.

    In the third edition of this best-selling guide, you'll find these topics:- 83 exercises for free weights, machines, bands, and balls- 30 workouts for increasing size, endurance, and strength- Sport-specific programs for tennis, golf, cycling, running, and more- Eating plans and nutrition advice for adding lean muscle and losing fatStrength Training Past 50 will keep you active, healthy, and looking great with workouts and programs designed just for you.

    Now, they impart all the wisdom, advice, and humor they picked up along the way, including how to: * Wipe away your shame and guilt—and get smart before you get hard * Conduct your filth with the right chick, in the right place, at the right time * Take an hour to shower and scour—and fight your worst enemy: glitter * Explain a strange scrunchy, hair extension, or pair of earrings to your girl * Navigate strip clubs, massage parlors, and women of the night * Lie like a woman—and call it quits without getting caught Featuring ten true stories from men who’ve lived the life and a link to watch Burr, DeRosa, and Kelly’s hilarious short film of the same name, Cheat is a wickedly smart field guide to philandering that will revolutionize your game.

    but true!

    Fields Cookies... What backward messages on records are really trying to tell you... Frank Sinatra's real age... Why you can't counterfeit a lottery ticket... Barbra Streisand's blue movie... The other Boy Scout rituals... Ingmar Bergman's soap commercials... The formula for Play-Doh... and more.

    In "Oh Boy, You're Having a Girl," Brian, a father of three girls, shares his tactics for surviving this new and glittery world. From baby dolls and bedtime rituals to potty training and dance recitals, he leads you through all the trials and tribulations you'll face as you're raising your daughter. He'll also show you how to navigate your way through tough situations, like making sure that she doesn't start dating until she's fifty.Complete with commandments for restroom trips and properly participating in a tea party, "Oh Boy, You're Having a Girl" will brace you for all those hours playing house--and psych you up for the awesomeness of raising a daughter who has you lovingly wrapped around her little finger.

    Deeply felt and insightful, Anthony Zuiker’s searing memoir of dreams and losses, successes and heartbreaks, is not only a behind-the-scenes look at television’s most-watched drama, but an essential guide for aspiring script writers and filmmakers, featuring practical tips and inspiring lessons to help tomorrow’s writers succeed today. Fans of crime dramas, anyone who dreams of unraveling the mysteries of their own story, and everyone who dreams of making it big, will find themselves immediately drawn in by the one-of-a-kind story of the man who became Mr. CSI.

    Can sit naked in front of book without fear of radiation 9. Reader not distracted by Dave's awful haircut 8. Can be readily enjoyed in Amish households 7. If you fall asleep while reading the book you won't wake up to fat weather guy wishing Happy Birthday to one hundred-year-olds 6. Can use your imagination to picture lists being read aloud by handsome actor George Peppard 5. Origami! Origami! Origami! 4. Can be enjoyed by inmates who have lost their TV privileges 3. Carrying book around proudly announces to rest of world, "I can read large print!" 2. Easier to shoplift than 26-inch Trinitron Stereo Sony 1. Any book is better than Dave's TV show

    Learn more about Peter, Lois, Meg, Chris, Stewie, Brian, and friends than you can shake a stick at -- or, in Brian's case, shake a martini at!There's a ton of insider stuff too:Commentary from the show's creator, producers, writers, and voice-over artists, including thoughts about those guys at Fox who did the unthinkable (like canceling the show) ...and then the unheard of (like bringing it back to the network!)Behind-the-scenes jokes and pranksSubtle things you may have missedAnd lots moreIt's all here -- Family Guy, uncanceled, unbanned, and uncensored!It's a must-have for all Family Guy fans.

    Today couples are more inclined to test the waters before tying the knot.In What Would Judy Say? A Grown-Up Guide to Living Together (with Benefits), Judge Judy Sheindlin enters a lively dialogue with readers from her popular Web site, www.whatwouldjudysay.com, to explore, with humor and savvy the pitfalls and possibilities of sharing a life together before marriage.Judy’s wisdom, based on a lifetime of experience, both in and out of court, covers the territory. In her inimitable way she offers reality checks: “Men are warriors, and warriors don’t clean up after themselves.” She cautions against blind love: “Frogs don’t become princes.” About mingling money and property, she warns: “No joint before the ring.” She advises that couples entering live-in relationships protect themselves because there is no court of People Just Living Together.Rich with stories of real men and women who share their travels in the land of love and commitment, this is a heartwarming, funny and smart guide, to help people negotiate and really enjoy what is supposed to be this wonderful journey of life.

    Too often, conservatives have kept silent in the face of insanity, inanity, and outright idiocy. That ends here!From mocking Democrat poobahs and Hollywood nitwits to beating on the wimps at the helm of the GOP, "I Am a Conservative" goes straight for the throat and says what everyone else only dares to think.