Is there any practical value in knowing that your child resembles produce? And where's the good stuff, the useful details, like beware of the baby registry and all the crap you will never use, or be prepared to get breast milk all over everything you own? Hilarious, candid, and easy to read, Funny Little Pregnant Things is full of helpful information about all the stuff people don t tell you about pregnancy the good, the bad, and the ugly.

    . . until Dottie’s given a free trip to Las Vegas. Second-grade teacher Dottie Gale lives in the tiny town of Quandary, Kansas, which is pretty much smack dab in the middle of nowhere. No mountains. No ocean. No life. Her ex-boyfriend and current school board member, Corbin Lane, cheated on her, making school functions more than a little awkward. But worst of all, a tornado named Maxine Westward rips through Dottie’s school as the new principal and has made her life at work a living hell. When Dottie is chosen to go to a teacher’s conference in Las Vegas, she knows her life is going to change. Driving from Quandary to Vegas, three strangers enter her life. Through a string of situations involving poppies, flying monkeys, and a life-size sculpture of an iconic rock star the four soon become inseparable. So, when Westward arrives on her broom in Vegas, Dottie is ready for battle. Her boss black mails her with stories of incarceration, thievery, and a steamy relationship with her travel companion, but Dottie knows that those who hurl insults shouldn’t hold secrets of their own. Editorial Reviews "I had so much fun reading this and spotting all the clever twists, it was very entertaining. In fact I’m tempted to re-read it, to find more of the subtle hints. I’ve also been to a few of the places mentioned in the book which meant an extra thumbs up for me. I would definitely recommend to readers who enjoy a modern take on a good original oldie." Roses are Amber

    And that's exactly the way he likes it, except when he doesn't. Every week in the Los Angeles Times and Chicago Tribune (and now and then in many other papers), Erskine distills, mocks, and makes us laugh at the absurdities of suburban fatherhood. And now, he's gathered the very best of these witty and wise essays—and invited his kids (and maybe even Posh) to annotate them with updated commentary, which they promise won't be too snarky. This handsome book is the perfect gift for the father who would have everything—if he hadn't already given it all to his kids.

    Heather Nestleroad gathers all of her blog posts from the last few years into a comprehensive book that can be enjoyed by parents, chocolate lovers, and coffee drinkers of all types. Read about how Heather learned to like (and order) coffee, explores her questions about the purpose of our lives, bares her neurotic confessions, and details conversations you'll swear you just had with someone in your family.

    Unfortunately, that was before two dudes wielding high-tech gadgets made off with both his kegs and his brother. Now Clyde has to hunt down his sibling with only his most trusted lackey along to help. Will he manage to recover both his beer and Dougie? Will they survive the night as they unveil the mysterious secret of the kidnappers? Will the Earth be destroyed thanks to their bumbling incompetence? Probably that last one, but you’ll have to read it to find out.

    What can be funnier than cats?Cat trivia! That's what.Funny cartoons and fun trivia explore the cool world of cats.

    Not only was he a product of his environment, but he was the son of a queen pin. With a queen pin as a mother, the drug game was destined for him and his four brothers. Together, The King Brothers ran the hood, but Momma Ava wanted them run the drug game. And that they did. Although taking over blocks came easy for Quentin, he wanted more. Q wanted The Kings to become the first black mafia family. What he hadn't planned on doing was falling in love, but fate intervened and he fell for the beautiful Simone Anderson. After the death of Simone's mother, she and her two sisters moved in with their aunt on the east side of Detroit. Change didn't come easy and she began to isolate herself from everyone except for her best friend Chanel, her sisters, and her cousin Dani. But on the day of Chanel's most talked about pool party that changed. She fell for Quentin, and later found herself doing and experiencing things she never even dreamed of. She went from "the new girl" to "Queen Q". Being with a hoods celebrity came with many perks. What Simone didn't know was that it came with lies, infedility and heartbreak too. Part one of Married to The Connect, mostly taking place in the early 2000s, tells the love story of Quentin and Simone and how they went from teenagers falling in love and going through hell, to married adults raising children and running a lucrative drug empire together.

    and some curvy ladies ready to share in their adventures... of all kinds ; )... Now Finally get the COMPLETE COLLECTION including a short story epilogue to the series. Get your fill of Bear shifter goodness...as they seek to claim the curvy woman they so desire. They run the gambit, from Bosses, to Billionaires, to a Secret Protector, to one who just wants a good old fashioned Mail Order Bride ... and more... You'll meet Blaine and Estelle who have to endure the tension of an employee boss relationship...where they are oh so close...but cannot touch...even as his Bear rages to claim her...and that's before the Dragons start messing with his business... Then there's the tale of Kent and Adrian...he is assigned to protect her...but she can't know...and worse she is her own worst enemy as trouble is practically painted on her forehead...oh and did I mention the awkward fact that they hooked up before any of this...and she is his employers daughter... Add to those steamy tales a single dad shifter who is just getting it together after a brutal divorce...he is just about to get the big promotion at a very old school firm...of course a secret baby coming out...well that would destroy everything...but maybe the young lady will be his salvation after all as secrets swim behind closed doors... Finally what's a Bad Boy Bear to do when he finally decides he is ready to put his dangerous ways behind him and settle down? He's going to need a mail order bride of course...but let's just say Darren get's a lot more than he bargained for...and as she finally escapes her dead end small town world Kelly will have her eyes opened to just what the big wide world has to offer ; ) ... This collection includes: Her Billionaire Shifter Boss Her Secret Protector Bear A Secret Baby for Daddy Bear The Alpha’s Mail Order Bride The Alpha Daddy's Nanny Lost Bear Found Also included is a short preview of Her Keeper Bear, (from the AMAZING Cynthia Wilde)... This is a set of standalone shifter novellas that contain No Cheating, No Cliffhangers and of course all have HEAS ; ). Warning: This ebook contains mature themes and language and is meant for 18+ readers only.

    husband, her boyfriend's wife and a man in Mexico. All this before her twenty-fifth birthday.Sentenced to thirteen years in Mexican prison, she escaped and is still at large with an active murder warrant biting at her ass.This story has been featured on Unsolved Mysteries and Discovery I.D.'s Deadly Women series. (Episode-"Born Bad").

    Her honest, hilarious and moving account of the whys and hows of having a baby makes perfect reading for expectant mothers and fathers everywhere, as well as those who've been there, done that, and wonder how on earth they did.In this very funny book she writes candidly about her own personal experience exploring the decision to have a baby when she doesn't even like them, the importance of cheese during pregnancy, why she took hair straighteners to the labour ward, plus the apocalyptic newborn days, childcare, work and the inevitable impact on life and love and most importantly, her breasts.

    That's when the realization hit: I'm young, I'm rich (thanks to a hefty inheritance), and I'm boring. Not "needs a little zip" boring, either. More like "mustard stain on a Sears tweed couch" drab. French's in a squeeze bottle, that's me. But suddenly I have Grey Poupon aspirations! Things are gonna change-starting now... Building a better mantrap... First things first: Exercise. Carrot juice. Straight hair. Whiter teeth. Clothes that fit (I have breasts? Who knew?) But wait-there's more. Life's kicked me around a bit, and I've been nursing my wounds for too long. I'm finally ready to take a chance on love with the perfect guy. He's handsome. He's smart. He's reliable. He's my CPA. Problem is, I'm clueless about winning him over. It's time to call in an expert. It's time to call in The Dog. Down, boy. Mike "The Dog" Dougherty is a man's man. A guy's guy. Okay, he's a chauvinist pig, and his sty is "The Dog House," a testosterone-charged column in Maximum for Him magazine. On one hand, I abhor all he stands for. On the other hand, who better to coach me? So here I am. Learning the complex unspoken language of the American male (Talk, bad. Sex, good.); trying exciting new things (Stripping lessons are empowering. Really.); falling for Mike. Uh oh. But the Mike I'm getting to know is different from The Dog. And the Mona I'm becoming isn't quite who I expected, either. This whole makeover scheme is getting crazier by the minute. But "crazy" beats "boring"...right? Jennifer Coburn is an award-winning journalist who has written for magazines and newspapers in the United States, Canada and Australia. She lives in San Diego with her husband, William and their daughter, Katie. Jennifer desperately wishes she had Mona's unlimited cash, beachfront estate and singing voice. When she's not living vicariously through chick-lit characters, Jennifer runs a public relations business which serves non-profit organizations and small businesses in southern California. She is also the coordinator of the Del Cerro Soccer Moms League and coach of the real-life Kickin' Chicks, the best seven-year-old girls to ever tear up suburban soccer fields.

    You can choose which ones you want to read! Witch School Book 1: Imagine being 11 years old and discovering you are a witch! For Charlotte, this was a huge surprise! She had no idea her mother was a witch and she was about to be enrolled in the most prestigious Witch School in the world. At first she was fearful, but as she met new friends, amazing teachers and had magical experiences...she grew to love the school. Body Swap Book 1 - Catastrophe!:Swapping bodies might be fun for some but when 12 year old Jack Stevenson wakes up from a freak accident one day and finds himself in his dad's body, his life abruptly becomes one huge disaster after another. When he realizes that his dad will have to go to school in his place, things instantly get much, much worse. Will he be able to remain captain of the school football team and what will happen to Holly, the prettiest girl at school who he has a huge crush on and is hoping to be his girlfriend? What will all his friends think of his strange behavior and how will he ever cope with the sudden catastrophe he's been faced with? Where's Scotty? Book 1: Scotty is destined to save the world... but he’s gone missing! Now it’s up to Alex to find him. Teaming up with a wacky old wizard called Abraham and a crew of the laziest sailors around, Alex must brave storms, creepers, zombies and much worse to find out what has happened to her best friend. But will she be able to survive this crazy adventure? When will Abraham stop talking to random objects? What is going on with the mysterious island? And why does Captain Cat Danger like cats so much? Find out the answer to these questions and more as Alex's journey leads her into the adventure of a lifetime! Danger! Excitement! But will she find Scotty? Diary of a 6th Grade Spy Book 1: Samuel Greene and his friend Abigail discover that something is not quite right in their school library...there is something really strange about their new librarian! Sam discovers a book that leads to the adventure of a lifetime...traveling to another land called Gardinia where they find a kingdom surrounded with sadness. The Princess has been kidnapped! Sam and Abs decide to help and start an investigation to discover what has happened to the Princess and her gnome helper. Are they in danger? Will they rescue the Princess and restore happiness to the Kingdom? And why is the new librarian so strange? You'll find the answer to all these questions in this exciting fantasy story.

    He's at work and will have to trek through rough neighborhoods and rural areas, and do things he never dreamed of. Walking through Southern California will stretch his skills, knowledge, and preparation to the limits. Will he survive this catastrophe of biblical proportions? Will he make it home to his family? Will his family survive until he arrives home? What will he find if he does make it? This is the story about the worst type of natural disaster and a man who will do whatever it takes to make it home to the ones he loves. A story of despair and resilience, failure and triumph. If you like the book, and even if you don't, PLEASE take a moment to rate it and leave a review. I welcome all constructive feedback as I intend to write more books and the feedback will only help me become a better writer. Thank you for taking the time to consider, and hopefully read, my book.

    Keeping her end up while seven grown-up children tear about the fecking place like the eejits haven't got a home to go to.Packed with Mammy's tips for keeping a perfect family, or at least a family, as well as contributions from her children, neighbours and other hangers on, Mrs Brown's Family Handbook dispenses advice in her own inimical fecking style. You'll learn:• why every mammy's secret weapon is the tea towel• the dos and don't of cleaning up Granddad • what Dermot doesn't know about farting (not much)• what Winnie knows about seks (not enough)• all about the Five-Sausages-A-Day Diet (hint: contains sausages)• from Maria all about pain relief in child birth (if its free, take it)The perfect gift for anyone in a large family - it's one present and cheap - or with no family at all (seeing what they're missing might cheer the miserable feckers up), Mrs Brown's Family Handbook is also ideal for anyone sick and tired of giving out bloody DVDs for Christmas.Brendan O'Carroll is an Irish writer, producer, comedian, actor, director and author. He is best known for playing Agnes Brown in Mrs Brown's Boys, which won the best sitcom BAFTA in 2012. He has written four films and nine comedy shows, including The Course (1995), The Last Wedding (1999) and last year saw the release of his DVD for the live tour Good Mourning Mrs Brown. He has also published seven novels, including The Mammy, The Scrapper and The Young Wan - a number of which have been translated into 12 languages.

    Small but beautifully formed pieces of Shaun Micallef.