Telling a tall tale. Placing a tall order. Tall, dark, and handsome. And, of course, let’s not forget the proverbial “tall drink of water”. This bothers Mara Altman, and not only because she’s five-foot-zero, but also because her experience as a journalist, humorist, and essayist has led her to challenge assumptions about human existence. Altman’s most recent book, Gross Anatomy: Dispatches from the Front (and Back), was a 2019 finalist for the Thurber Prize for American Humor, and wittily dissected long-held assumptions about our bodies for the deeper truth. Her conclusion: There is greatness in our grossness.In her Audible Original A Short Drink of Water, Altman challenges the assumption that taller is better. Her journey to empower those at the short end of the stick (and why is it always the short end?) delivers a hilarious and heartfelt look at the differences between tall and short and how people seek to narrow them both physically and psychologically. You’ll meet people of every size and opinion in this deeply reported and richly comical ride through a world where every inch counts.

    Just friends. They’d never actually date each other, because they’ve been friends since childhood and that would be weird. Now it’s the apocalypse. People are leaking blood from their eyeballs and turning into homicidal oozing mutants. Fortunately, Kevin has access to an underground shelter, and he and Missy make it there in time to avoid a horrible gruesome death. But they’re trapped down there. Things are going to get weird. A gooey 24,000-word novella from the four-time Bram Stoker Award-nominated author of such demented horror/comedies as BLISTER, WOLF HUNT, DEAD CLOWN BARBECUE, and BENJAMIN'S PARASITE.

    Now, in this down and dirty tale of modern fatherhood, Mohr shares his stories as a first-time parent. No Wonder My Parents Drank reveals the details behind Mohr's humiliating test-tube conception attempts and then recounts the trauma of not only having to keep this child alive, but having to spend time alone with him! He waxes poetic about dirty diapers; spins theories on spanking; and mulls over the more hidden advantages of parenthood, like carpool lane access, carte blanche to use the ladies restroom, and an alibi for missing family dinners. Mohr describes, in painfully funny detail, the bizarre situations that all parents inevitably face but can never prepare for (such as when his kid discovered his dog's rear end) as well as moments of pure joy like taking his son to his first baseball game. Mohr reports on the hilarious wisdom that his son, Jackson, has taught him--like why it's fun to play Kissy Boy with the other boys at recess, how important sunscreen is for avoiding a sunborn, and how awesome it is to get a rainbow belt in karate.Riotously acerbic and refreshingly honest, No Wonder My Parents Drank casts the very funny Jay Mohr with an even funnier mini-me sidekick as a supporting character in a little comedic love story that every person who either is a parent or has a parent will find delightful.

    Peter Werner Ernst is an internal medicine resident at a major hospital's intensive care unit. He functions on eight hours of sleep for every three shifts at work. Overseeing the care of eight patients, Dr. Ernst's job is to keep death at bay--at least until the day shift comes on, and any potential death goes on someone else's record.When Felicia Potter enters the ward to visit her comatose father, Dr. Ernst sees the opportunity to spice up his grim routine with a little romance. What he cannot see is how his relationship with the young attractive model will call into question his integrity, his dedication to his career, and just how far he will go for the sake of his lust.

    This book goes through all the miserable people you love to hate. Do you hate morning people? How about the guy who doesn’t wipe the ketchup top after using it? Or people who just don’t care? After all, isn’t hating just another form of caring?It's true: Misery does love company. But what kind of company can you keep if you can't stand anyone? This kind. No matter who they are or what they do that sets you off and gets you going, you'll find 'em inside. From rich people who are dicks to guys named Rich who go by Dick to those who are always cold to people who are just hot, no one is safe. But one thing is certain—everyone will find someone they equally despise. And you're gonna love it, period.

    Spending three decades in love with a wonderful but unattainable man is pretty high up on her list of missteps, as is a long line of unsuccessful love affairs accompanied by a seemingly endless supply of delicious cocktails.When the young bride flees—taking with her a family heirloom and leaving behind six hundred bewildered guests—her mother offers Margo fifty grand to retrieve her spoiled brat of a daughter and the invaluable property she stole. So, together with the bride’s jilted and justifiably crabby fiancé, Margo sets out in a borrowed 1955 red MG on a cross-country chase. Along the way, none of what she discovers will be quite what she expected. But it might be exactly what she’s been seeking all along.From acclaimed humor writer Jane Lotter comes this madcap, laugh-out-loud adventure, The Bette Davis Club. Revised edition: This edition of The Bette Davis Club includes editorial revisions.

    Not a bad recommendation.Danny Simon made his bones in the golden age of TV, on shows like Make Room for Daddy and Sid Caesar’s Show of Shows.Then he taught a legendary comedy writing class in L.A. for many years. A young writer named James Scott Bell took the course, and copious notes. These notes have never before been published. Bell is revealing these comedy secrets now for the first time.This booklet (4500 words) also includes an analysis of a legendary comedy show that Danny Simon had his students study. If you are serious about comedy . . . or if you just want to put more humor in your writing, this booklet will give you the tools. “I loved this booklet! So many great points. Terrific examples too. When I teach comedy, it is so challenging to really outline how to write a joke, all the setup that is involved, all the word play, all the reversals and the word choices. This is so well articulated. I will definitely reference it and promote it when I teach!” – Rene Gutteridge, author of Escapement and Never the BrideJames Scott Bell is one of the #1 bestselling writing coach of Plot & Structure and The Art of War for Writers. He is an award winning thriller author and seminar teacher.

    Greg's rugby-playing days are well and truly behind him, thanks to countless pints of beer and chicken curry.When Elise, a radio DJ and Zoe's best friend, tells them about a new competition, it seems like the perfect opportunity to turn their lives around. Fat Chance will pit six hefty couples against one another to see who can collectively lose the most weight and walk away with a £50,000 prize.So begins six months of abject misery, tears, and frustration--that just might turn out to be the best thing that ever happened to them--in another laugh-out-loud look at the way we live now from bestselling author Nick Spalding.

    Half of the essays are brand new, the others are all reworked and rewritten, based on pieces that were originally published in Golf Digest. Often biting, usually cranky, always hilarious and surprising—this is Dan Jenkins at his best, writing about the sport he loves the most.      "I've always wanted to do something for the golfer who has everything. I thought about a suede golf cart, or maybe a pair of cashmere Footjoys. Then I settled on writing this book." So begins Dan Jenkins's latest—and funniest—collection of golf essays. The book consists of thirty-eight essays, all of them, as Dan says in the first essay, are "literally throbbing with opinion."     In this book Dan delves into the greatest rounds of golf he's ever seen; the funniest things said on a golf course; the rivalries on tour and in the press box; the game's most magical moments—and its most absurd. Unplayable Lies is an ode to the game Jenkins loves. But it is Dan Jenkins, so nothing—even the game of golf—can escape his wrath, his critical eye, or his acerbic pen. The best way to describe it is to turn the book over to Mr. Jenkins:      In "Titanic and I"—probably the most hilarious and surprising essay in the book, telling true stories of Titanic Thompson: gambler, golf hustler, accused murderer, legendary storyteller—Dan explains how Titanic would win a wager by saying he could knock a bird off a telephone wire: "Titanic would drop a ball on the ground and take out his four-wood, waggle it, and pretend to aim at the bird on the wire. When some sucker would bet him he couldn't do it, Ti would pull out a gun he carried and shoot the bird off the wire."     In "The Greatest Rounds": "Show me a man who doesn't know what Arnold did in the last round of the '60 U.S. Open at Cherry Hills, and I'll show you a soccer fan in Paraguay."     This is a perfect follow up to His Ownself. It even has an Introduction by Sally Jenkins, one of the country's top sportswriters and Dan's own darling daughter.

    Poems, sketches, cartoons, short prose pieces and doctored photos.

    

    A laugh-out-loud romantic comedy about life, love and contemporary manhood, Tom Cooper is a male Bridget Jones for our times.  ‘A gloriously self-aware, satirical romp through the terrors of relationships, family life and survival.  Philip Roth meets Cold Feet!’ Helen Lederer (Absolutely Fabulous, Losing It (P.G.Wodehouse Award nominee))   ‘Spencer Brown is endlessly inventive and delightfully, dependably silly, like a joy-seeking missile’ Richard Ayoade (The IT crowd, Submarine, The Crystal Maze) ‘An aspirational figure for the men of today’ Omid Djalili (Live at the Apollo, The Infidel) ‘Very funny. Peep Show combined with Outnumbered.  But you know.  In a book.’ Josh Howie (Josh Howie’s Losing it, BBC Radio 4) ‘Hilarious and heart-warming’ Andi Osho (Live at the Apollo, Curfew) Tom Cooper’s life has fallen apart. His wife has left, he’s stuck in an accountancy job he hates and he can’t even call on the grandparents for support – they’re too busy – after all, a Scrabble trophy doesn’t engrave itself. But when a creative position opens up at the advertising agency he works for, he sees the opportunity to turn things around. All he has to do is pitch a product to a new market, convince Maestro J he is sufficiently finger-clickingly ‘creative’, beat his weaselly co-worker/nemesis John to the job, and try not to fall for his new mentor, Amanda. Oh, and try to blend in with people 10 years younger than him, survive the office obstacle course using his imaginary agility and stop accidentally turning up to work in the exact same outfit as Doug. The Rebuilding of Tom Cooper is a laugh-out-loud comedy about life, love and 21st century manhood. 
 About the author Spencer Brown cut his teeth in the Cambridge Footlights alongside John Oliver and Matthew Holness, before becoming an internationally acclaimed stand-up comedian and TV presenter on shows including Lip Service which he hosted with Holly Willoughby. He has also appeared in cult comedies including Nathan Barley and Garth Merenghi's Darkplace, as well as starring in the films 'Shed of the Dead' and the upcoming 'The Devil went down to Islington'. He is also an award winning film maker, having written and directed The Boy with a Camera for a Face, which won multiple prizes including the Oscar qualifying Best of Fest at SLIFF.

    I don’t take the big risks, I cover my insecurities with snark, I’ve shown my crazy a few more times then I would’ve liked, and I’ve been trying, and failing at love pretty much since I first grew tits. Weirdos, Mama’s boys, the over-coiffed, and underwhelming, I’ve been out with them all, just read my blog. I’ve got horror stories that would curl your toes and singe your nose hairs, but none of them compare to the toad who started it all, Ellis Walker. He was the boy next door, the charming, infuriatingly gorgeous one who broke my heart and disappeared without a trace. Now he’s back and determined to throw my life into chaos, dredging up painful memories just when things were getting good. But the thing is there are always two sides to every story.I’ve spent the better part of my life hating him for everything he put me through, but without that resentment clouding my judgment how will I ever resist him? Love is complicated, appearances are deceiving, and sometimes you have to kiss a whole lotta frogs before finding your prince.

     If he carries through with the plan, his sister will die first. His ex will die next, and he will die last. In between, he’ll take out as many people as he can. Students. Security guards. Teachers. First responders. They are all fair game. Who will live, and who will die? How will those who live go on when their world is shattered by unthinkable tragedy? *** Contains scenes of graphic violence. Reader discretion advised.

    RACHEL HATCH WILL MAKE THEM PAY.USA TODAY & Amazon 2-million copy bestselling author L.T. RYAN has teamed up with police detective Brian Shea for this debut novel in the gripping Rachel Hatch mystery thriller series.Ex-Army criminal investigator Rachel Hatch is a drifter. No home. No commitments. Until her sister's drowning drags her back to the town she left fifteen years ago.Convinced her sister's death was no accident, Hatch partners with the local sheriff, Dalton Savage to uncover the truth. Every answer unlocks another question, and as the investigation begins to unravel, Hatch and Savage find their lives on the line.Hatch is forced to use her special set of skills - forged on the field of combat - to learn the truth about her sister and bring those responsible to justice.The first novel in one of the most highly-anticipated collaborative series this decade, DRIFT is a tightly woven story, with deeply-developed and endearing characters that will have you rooting for them at every turn, set at an exhilarating pace that will keep you turning pages late into the night.DOWNBURSTSeeking answers to her father's death.Hatch finds herself in a small town outside of Las Cruses, New Mexico.Controlled by a vicious street gang.A family caught in the crossfire.Hatch sets out to make things right.The quaint town of Luna Vista, turns out to be anything but. A ruthless gang runs a section of the town. In searching for the truth about her father's past, she's pitted against a criminal network that exposes the town's dark secret. Hatch puts her life on the line to help a boy escape the clutches of the gang. Her act puts her in peril.FEVER BURNSeeking justice for her father's murder,Leads Hatch halfway across the world.A ruthless warlord stands in the way.Hatch is forced to take a stand.And it very well could be her last.On the trail of her father's killer, Hatch finds the path leads to a remote village in Africa. A vicious warlord controls the area in a stranglehold of violence. Hatch finds a fight she never sought, but one her personal code won't let her walk away from.Outnumbered and outgunned, Hatch is forced to hold nothing back if she ever hopes to get out alive.She finds herself in a battle as treacherous as any she's faced before, against an enemy hellbent on stopping her. Danger lurks around every corner. Hatch 's code, a simple one, Help good people and punish those who hurt others, may prove more difficult a task as the forces against her mount. A whirlwind of threats converge like the unpredictable desert weather and threaten to crash down upon her.Not afraid of a good fight, Hatch prepares herself for her most difficult battle of her life.Downburst is designed with the dynamic pacing and story telling fans of L.T. Ryan and Brian Shea have become accustomed to. This sequel is filled with twists and turns, and the relentless pacing that will keep readers turning pages until the very last word.