Stupid American History: Tales of Stupidity, Strangeness, and Mythconceptions


Leland Gregory - 2009
    Satirist Leland Gregory teaches us a lesson in historical hilarity with Stupid American History.From Columbus to George W. Bush (that's a lot of material, people), Leland leads us through American history's mythconceptions, exposing idiocy and inanity along the time line. He reeducates by informing us about myths. For example, Samuel Prescott actually was the guy to alert us that the British were coming and not that Paul Revere dude. Move over Colbert and Stewart; satire has finally found its rightful place in American history.Excerpt from the book:"John Tyler was on his knees playing marbles when he was informed that Benjamin Harrison had died and he was now president of the United States. At that time marbles was a very popular game for both children and grown-ups."For reasons still unknown, Texas congressman Thomas Lindsay Blanton, a Presbyterian Sunday school teacher and prohibitionist, inserted dirty words into the Congressional Record in 1921. His colleagues overwhelmingly censured him on October 24, 1921, by a vote of 293-0."

Air Mail: Letters From The World's Most Troublesome Passenger


Terry Ravenscroft - 2007
    But are they? He is probably the only man who has ever requested the recipe for an airline’s lasagna or wanted to enjoy his flight with an inflatable rubber woman sat on his knee. Prepare to meet the man who must have his diet of stir-fried mulberry leaves accommodated and the man who left his false teeth on a flight and is sure he recognized them on a later flight—in a flight attendant's mouth. Ravenscroft's correspondence tackles travel annoyances like excess baggage charges alongside more surreal letters, such as the one starting out asking an Australian airline if they offer an authentic Australian experience (for instance, Australian cuisine or in-flight movies) which then moves on to the question of at what age a baby is safe from being swallowed by a dingo.

2001 Things to Do before You Die


Dane Sherwood - 1997
    No marks in the book.Buy with confidence. 100% Guaranteed

All by My Selves: Walter, Peanut, Achmed, and Me


Jeff Dunham - 2009
    He has played to sold-out venues across North America, Europe, South Africa and Australia. He has sold more than six million DVDs, Forbes has ranked him in their Celebrity 100 list of most powerful entertainers for two years running, and he has been the top touring comedian in the United States for the last two years. Whether he's breathing life into an old curmudgeon, an over- caffeinated purple maniac, or a screaming, skeletal, dead terrorist, Jeff Dunham is the straight man to some of the funniest partners in show business. All by My Selves is the story of one pretty ordinary guy, one interesting hobby, one very understanding set of parents, and a long and winding rode to becoming America's favorite comedian. With wit, honesty, and lots of great show business detail, Jeff shares all the major moments in his journey. From the toy dummy he spotted at a toy store when he was 8 years old to playing to arenas filled with screaming fans, Jeff takes readers behind the curtain to explain how he turned an old fashioned art form into something truly modern and hip. Best of all, Jeff's story is accompanied by asides and interruptions from his characters-who share all the hilarious details Jeff himself is too embarrassed to include.

The Book of Bizarre Truths


Publications International - 2011
    The Book of Bizarre Truths is a 704-page collection of answers to hundreds of provocative questions covering a vast range of topics, from the strange to the sublime.Includes urban legends, old wives tales, misattributed quotes, and corrected so-called facts and trivia that have gained authenticity despite less-than-reliable sources.Topics covered include the animal kingdom, health, origins, traditions, science, history, geography, sports, people, and food.More than 200 questions that are answered, including:Do cows cause global warming?How many ants make a full meal for an anteater?How late is fashionably late?What s the smelliest thing on the planet?Do woodpeckers get headaches?The Book of Bizarre Truths is for readers who expect to be informed, entertained, and humored.

The Paranoid's Pocket Guide: Hundreds of Things You Never Knew You Had to Worry About


Cameron Tuttle - 1997
    Because a pair of drawstring sweatpants could bring about your most embarrassing moment. And a toothpick in your sandwich can be the deadliest of weapons. Including hundreds of bizarre-but-true things that can get you, this compact volume will induce nervous page flipping and make even the most snug and secure folks bonafide paranoiacs. Chilling black and white photographs document the everyday items that menace your safety. But whether it's archibutyrophobia (the fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of your mouth) or phobophobia (the fear of fear itself) that eventually gets you, don't be afraid to buy this book. You never know what might happen to you if you don't.

Teach Yourself Speed Reading


Tina Konstant - 2001
    Following a unique five-step system, this practical guide teaches readers the basics of speed-reading in less than an hour. It includes tools and information on a variety of reading and memory techniques that allow readers to start using and practicing the techniques as they read--and therefore finish this book in a fraction of the time they would have taken previously. The book shows how to read effectively under pressure and concentrate in today's noisy, distracting environments.

The Jewish Joke: A Short History - With Punchlines


Devorah Baum - 2017
    This smart and funny book includes tales from many of these much-loved comics, and will appeal to their broad audience, while revealing the history, context and wider culture of Jewish joking.The Jewish joke is as old as Abraham, and like the Jews themselves it has wandered over the world, learned countless new languages, worked with a range of different materials, been performed in front of some pretty hostile crowds, and yet still retained its own distinctive identity. So what is it that animates the Jewish joke? Why are Jews so often thought of as ‘funny’? And how old can a joke get?The Jewish Joke is a brilliant—and laugh-out-loud funny—riff on about what marks Jewish jokes apart from other jokes, why they are important to Jewish identity and how they work. Ranging from self-deprecation to anti-Semitism, politics to sex, Devorah Baum looks at the history of Jewish joking and asks whether the Jewish joke has a future. With jokes from Lena Dunham to Woody Allen, as well as Freud and Marx (Groucho, mostly), Baum balances serious research with light-hearted humor and provides fascinating insight into this well-known and much loved cultural phenomenon.

Haley's Hints


Graham Haley - 1999
    Now in paperback--the extraordinary New York Times bestselling guide packed with 2,000 time and money saving tips on everything from laundry to gardening, pet care to pest control, painting to plumbing--topped off with the unique Easy-Find index for finding answers fast.

Men with Balls: The Professional Athlete's Handbook


Drew Magary - 2008
    Because after you have read this book, you, Good Sir, will know how to be a pro athlete. And pro athletes don't need books. Or strong family bonds. Or any of that stupid crap. Not when they have ready access to millions of dollars and scores of smoking hot chicks with questionable judgment. This book will be all you require to cast aside your boring life as some jackass who cruises around bookstores hoping to score grad-school trim. With Men with Balls, you will learn how to: Showboat using classical pantomime techniques Figure out whether or not a stripper actually fancies you Emotionally cope from the emotional fallout of rookie year hazing games Find out which free locker room amphetamines will give you a shot of energy, and which will cause you to run down terrified schoolchildren with your Escalade (NOTE: Some do both) Avoid media scrutiny by directing beat writers and columnists to the nearest hot buffet So grab your balls, bookboy. You're about to become a home-run hitting, steroid-injecting, angry-orgy-having Turbostud. They're gonna need a whole ocean just to wash your jock.

Ripley's Believe It or Not! Encyclopedia of the Bizarre: Amazing, Strange, Inexplicable, Weird and All True!


Ripley Entertainment Inc. - 2002
    From stupefying stunts to wacky world’s records, all of Ripley’s riveting findings are here, in an easy-to-browse, impossible-to-put-down color volume. Where else could you learn that: • It’s estimated that 10,000,000,000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000,000 snowflakes have fallen to the Earth since the Earth was formed! • Queen Isabeau of Bavaria used a mixture of boar’s brains, crocodile glands, and wolf blood as skin lotion! • Anna Bread married John Butter in Leeds, England, April 22, 1926! • Phil Turco of Madison, Wisconsin, swallowed 339 goldfish in two hours! Bizarre and amazing categories include Accidents and Disasters, Animals and Insects, Archaeology, Feats and Stunts, Prophecies, Records, the Unexplained, and more. It’s fascinating fun for the whole family.

The Wise Guy Cookbook: My Favorite Recipes from My Life as a Goodfella to Cooking on the Run


Henry Hill - 2002
    At the pizzeria where he worked as a kid, he learned to substitute pork for veal in cutlets—which came in handy later when the bankroll was low. At thirteen, he got his first percentage from a local deli—that lost business when he started supplying the neighborhood wiseguys with his own heroes. And what great heroes they were… Once he entered Witness Protection, though, Hill found himself in places where prosciutto was impossible to get and gravy was something you put on mashed potatoes. So he learned to fake it when necessary (for example, Romano with white pepper took the place of real pecorino-siciliano cheese), and wherever he found himself, Hill managed to keep good Italian food on the table. He still brings this flair for improvisation to his cooking. No recipe is set in stone. And substitutions are listed in case you need them. Now, in his inimitable style, Hill tells some spicy stories of his life in the Mob and shows you how to whip up his favorite dishes, Sicilian style—even when you’re cooking on the run....

Who Put The Butter In Butterfly?


David Feldman - 1989
    And if we look to English to make sense, why is it that we drive on parkways and park on driveways?There's only one man to solve these and other riddles of our spoken tongue: David Feldman, who in his bestselling books Imponderables and Why Do Clocks Run Clockwise? established himself as the unchallenged expert on answering the unanswerable. Word Imponderables have always been favorites with Feldman's legions of fans, and in this volume he gets to the source of all the mysteries surrounding our curious vocabulary. Why do we mind our Ps and Qs and now our Vs and Ws? Is a caddy really a little cad? Which Toms lent their names to Peeping, Collins, and a gun? How does a weasel go "pop"--and why, for that matter? Who are the Joneses we're supposed to be worrying about keeping up with? Why do some people get your goat instead of your mynah bird? Has anyone ever been given long shrift? And why is that pole that you won't ever touch something with always ten feet long?Who Put the Butter in Butterfly? is a reference book you can't afford to be without--if only to amaze your friends with the knowledge that the person ultimately responsible for "23 skiddoo" is Charles Dickens. So don't beat around the bush, and don't wait until the eleventh hour or until the jig is up: Here is compuslive reading for anyone incurably curious about the idiosyncrasies of the language.

Bald as I Wanna Be


Tony Kornheiser - 1997
    30,000 first printing."

Everything Is Going to Kill Everybody: The Terrifyingly Real Ways the World Wants You Dead


Robert Brockway - 2010
    . . Everything Is Going to Kill Everybody is bringing panic back. Twenty illustrated, hilariously fear-inducing 
essays reveal the chilling and very real experiments, dangerous emerging technologies, and terrifying natural disasters that soon could—or very nearly already did—bring about the end of humanity. In short, everything in here will kill you and everyone you love. At any moment. And nobody’s told you about it—until now: •   Experiments in green energy like the HiPER, which uses massive lasers to create a tiny “contained” sun; it’s an idea that could save the world if it doesn’t consume us all in a fiery fusion reaction first. •   Global disasters like the hypercane—a hurricane so large it could cover all of North America and shoot trailer parks into space!•   Terrifying new developments in robotics like the EATR, which powers itself on meat—an invention in the running for “Worst Decision Made by Anybody.”