However, after a painful divorce, she decides it's time to lay low for a while in her charming San Francisco apartment with her beautiful Abyssinian cat, Cleo.Everything would be wonderful, except for her utterly impossible neighbor Jack Walker. When he's not arguing day and night with his girlfriend, begging her to move in with him, he's chasing down his cat named Dog, who seems determined to get Cleo to succumb to his feline advances.Then Lacey discovers the awful truth - Cleo is in the family way and Dog's to blame. She's furious that neither Jack nor his amorous animal seem too upset about the situation.But Lacey learns that things are not quite as they seem. Jack's "girlfriend" is really his sister and his intentions toward Lacey are very honorable. And though she's not quite sure about Dog, Lacey begins to discover the tender joy of falling in love all over again.

    It’s a nightmare reflection of the society you inhabit, a surreal explosion of pop, punk, and the post-apocalypse. Over the last decade, Bizarro Fiction has changed the definition of avant garde, it’s abolished the traditional prose of yesterday and established a new precedent for awesome. Collected in this anthology is some of the best weird fiction from the past decade. Award-winning writers, cult prodigies and burgeoning talents all collected together in one place. This is what you’ve done with the last ten years of your life.With stories by:D. Harlan Wilson, Alissa Nutting, Joe R. Lansdale, Carlton Mellick III, Kevin L. Donihe, , Ryan Boudinot, Vincent Sakowski, Cody Goodfellow, Amelia Gray, Robert Devereaux, Mykle Hansen, Athena Villaverde, Matthew Revert, Garrett Cook, Roy Kesey, Jeremy Robert Johnson, Aimee Bender, Ian Watson & Roberto Quaglia, Jeremy C. Shipp, Andersen Prunty, Jedediah Berry, Andrea Kneeland, Kurt Dinan, David Agranoff, Ben Loory, Kris Saknussemm, Stephen Graham Jones, Bentley Little, David W. Barbee, and Tom Piccirilli.

    Unfortunately, due to an exercise allergy, and an eating obsession, it isn’t going to be as easy as he first thought. Throw in a battle of wits with his neighbour’s cat over toilet rights to his garden, a son who lives in the shed and dreams of being discovered on The X Factor, a stroppy teenage daughter with a Wayne Rooney fixation, a wife who doesn’t want to sleep with him anymore, and an amorous work colleague who does, and you have all the ingredients to Sex, Lies and Chocolate Cakes: The Secret Eater’s Diary.

    Highly sceptical, naturally, the Old Dealmaker negotiates a trial period - a summer holiday in a human body, with all the delights of the flesh.The body, however, turns out to be that of Declan Gunn, a depressed writer living in Clerkenwell, interrupted in his bath mid-suicide. Ever the opportunist, and with his main scheme bubbling in the background, Luce takes the chance to tap out a few thoughts - to straighten the biblical record, to celebrate his favourite achievements, to let us know just what it's like being him. Neither living nor explaining turns out to be as easy as it looks. Beset by distractions, miscalculations and all the natural shocks that flesh is heir to, the Father of Lies slowly begins to learn what it's like being us.

    Worse yet, the steriods are having an unexpected effect, turning hot gridiron hunks into mindless flesh-eating zombies. No one is safe--not her cute crush Aaron, not her dorky brother, Jonah . . . not even Kate! She's got to find an antidote--before her entire high school ends up eating each other. So Kate, her best girlfriend, Rocky, and Aaron stage a frantic battle to save their town  . . . and stay hormonally human.

    ONCE BITTEN BY LOVE, YOU WILL BE FOREVER SMITTEN BY ITS SWEET PAIN.”ANU is young, simple and carefree, gearing up for her first job at Oasis Ltd. She gets paired with ABHI, a mature and an unassuming boy, in her first assignment with the Indian IT giant. Little does she know that the pairing is not a mere coincidence, but a plan by destiny. Abhi does not have any inkling that the beautiful girl he was smitten by at a traffic signal, would end up as his pair programmer for whom he would eventually be ready to give up everything in life.What will happen when Anu’s protective family gets to know about their love?Will Abhi keep up the promise he makes to Anu’s family?How will Anu cope with this drastic change in Abhi’s priorities?Come, fall and rise in love as Bitten by Love takes you through an exhilarating and heart touching journey of friendships and love, driven by destiny, hope and determination.

    A time to begin a new life with the one your heart has chosen. It’s also the time your best friend becomes an absolute nightmare as you plan your wedding…” Remember fun and outgoing Janine? After a string of disastrous online and blind dates, she has finally found the love of her life in the place she least expected it: work. With a new engagement and an impending wedding, life couldn’t get any better for Janine and her fiancé, Dan… Between a pile of destroyed wedding invitations, and too much champagne during one too many dress fittings, Becky is quickly becoming “Maid-of-Honor-zilla.” But with her best friend’s nuptials looming—and little time to plan—she is determined give Janine the gift of WeddedBliss and the wedding of her dreams. Even if it kills her. Or Janine. Or both.

    She attempts to forge a relationship with middle-aged, womanizing, Seattle millionaire Ray Porter while being pursued by socially inept and unambitious slacker Jeremy.With more than 340,000 copies in print, Steve Martin's Shopgirl has landed on bestseller lists nationwide including: New York Times, Publishers Weekly, USA Today, Wall Street Journal, San Francisco Chronicle, Washington Post, and Los Angeles Times.Filled with the kind of witty, discerning observations that have brought Steve Martin incredible critical success, this story of modern day love and romance is a work of disarming tenderness.

    And that's all before he leaves for work. Mutant ninjas, a talking whale, kung-fu masters, maniacal Pilgrims and an alcoholic clown populate Chris Genoa's surreal, darkly comical and unnerving reimagining of the first Thanksgiving. Put down your feathered headdresses, puritan collars and buckled shoes and prepare to get schooled in the alternate history lesson they never mentioned in grade school.

    It starts when Glinda the Good Witch becomes President and before long munchkins are working at fast food restaurants.

    She knows that dolphins shed the top layer of their skin every two hours. And she knows just how badly auditions can go, especially when you’re a model. But she has no idea what to do when her arch-nemesis decides the school play is the perfect opportunity to humiliate her…Can GEEK GIRL survive the bright lights of the stage?

    There's just one problem: They're hideously ugly and they smell like rotting fish. So getting humanity's trust is a challenge. The Yherajk need someone who can help them close the deal. Enter Thomas Stein, who knows something about closing deals. He's one of Hollywood's hottest young agents. But although Stein may have just concluded the biggest deal of his career, it's quite another thing to negotiate for an entire alien race. To earn his percentage this time, he's going to need all the smarts, skills, and wits he can muster.

    Why else would she agree to the outrageous charade offered by her buttoned-down workaholic neighbor, Linc Blaise? The history professor needs to have a fiancée in order to capture his dream job, and Daisy is game to play the role. But something funny happens on their way to the altar that changes everything. Now, with the midnight hour approaching, will Daisy lose her prince, or will opposites not only attract but live happily ever after? From the Paperback edition.

    A severed hand is on a desperate mission to ruin somebody's evening. While a mob war reaches its bloody climax, the Mayor is up to his neck in dead prostitutes.And Clockwork Joe? He just wants to be a real boy.Bizarro Press proudly presents the latest in dieselpunk-bizarro-horror-noir. This......is GrudgePunk

    Twenty years spent living in the shadow of something they did in high school, an event that defined them forever in the minds of everyone in their small town. Now they're returning for what should be a relaxing weekend of hunting and fishing, a chance to reminisce about old times and forget their troubles... but mother nature has other plans in mind. There's a storm brewing. A meteor shower is in the forecast, but it's going to be unlike any event in recorded history. This meteor shower is bringing change to the world, it's awakening the creatures of the forest from their quiet slumber... and before long, the Lightning Five are going to find themselves trapped on the roof of their cabin, with their numbers dwindling and supplies running low... Trapped with no means of escape, the men will have to make some hard choices... like who gets to live and who has to die.