The hilarity of TheOatmeal.com is now presented in book form with 35 never-before-seen pieces and 25 classic favorites from the Web site, including 6 Types of Crappy Hugs and 17 Things Worth Knowing about Your Cat.In Matthew Inman's New York Times best selling 5 Very Good Reasons to Punch a Dolphin in the Mouth (And Other Useful Guides), samurai sword-wielding kittens and hamsters that love .50-caliber machine guns commingle with a cracked out Tyrannosaur that is extremely hard to potty train. Bacon is better than true love and you may awake in the middle of the night to find your nephew nibbling on your toes.Inman creates these quirky scenes for theoatmeal.com, which launched in July 2009 and already has more than 82 million page views. In fact, every 15 to 30 seconds, someone Googles one of theoatmeal.com's creations. Now, 60 of Inman's comic illustrations and life-bending guides are presented in full-color inside 5 Very Good Reasons to Punch a Dolphin in the Mouth (And Other Useful Guides). Consider such handy advice as: 4 Reasons to Carry a Shovel at All Times, 6 Types of Crappy Hugs, 8 Ways to Tell if Your Loved One Plans to Eat You, 17 Things Worth Knowing About Your Cat, and 20 Things Worth Knowing About Beer.

    Published in its entirety for the first time and illustrated, The Complete Fawlty Towers will appeal to the millions of fans who have suffered through endless PBS fundraisers waiting for the next episode -- and anyone who has survived a package holiday tour. Fawlty Towers is the hotel of every traveler's nightmare. Basil Fawlty -- ill-tempered, henpecked, and conniving -- tries in vain to be master of his house under the disapproving and ever-watchful eye of his wife, Sybil. The hotel offers service by Manuel, the incompetent Spanish waiter whose feeble grasp of English makes for hilarious misunderstandings, and Polly, the unflappable chambermaid who is Fawlty Towers' only sane employee. Meals are scorched in the kitchen while adulterers consort upstairs and chaos reigns all around. For countless fans, Fawlty Towers is the best-loved bad hotel in the world, and with publication of The Complete Fawlty Towers they will all have a chance to relive its outrageous awfulness.

    Lipton in the Books of Venery that were the constant study of anyone who aspired to the title of gentleman in the fifteenth century. When Mr. Lipton's painstaking research revealed that five hundred years ago the terms of venery had already been turned into the Game of Venery, he embarked on an odyssey that has given us a "slouch of models," a "shrivel of critics," an "unction of undertakers," a "blur of Impressionists," a "score of bachelors," and a "pocket of quarterbacks." This ultimate edition of An Exaltation of Larks is Mr. Lipton's brilliant answer to the assault on language and literacy in the last decades of the twentieth century. In it you will find more than 1,100 resurrected or newly minted contributions to that most endangered of all species, our language, in a setting of 250 witty, beautiful, and remarkably apt engravings.

    Hollywood screenwriter Cora Sharpe has taken to writing letters to the unborn child she's tentatively dubbed Esme - even though it sounds like a noise your nose makes. But then, Cora has what one of the endless intimates she thinks of as her Committee calls "a big loud life," and recent events have been no exception. Her confidant and writing partner, Bud, has been on a bipolar roller coaster. Her dear friend William, AIDS-ridden, has finally taken leave of his life, with the aplomb befitting "a suburban show business sultan." And in the vacuum that follows his departure, Cora's romance with quiet, gentle Ray has suddenly flickered and expired. Then Cora finds out she's pregnant, and even the Committee can't steer her through this one. In a fight-or-flight confrontation with maturity, flight seems to have the upper hand. So when her mother, Viv, tries to rally support for her latest madcap scheme - to kidnap her Alzheimer's-stricken father from a nursing home and take him back to Whitewright, Texas, the place of his birth - Cora, for once, is game. With Bud in tow, she signs on for what turns out to be a cosmic (not to mention comic) exploration of the urges that drive us to feather our nests and fill them, to flee them and find our way home. With singular deftness, Fisher captures the ambivalence and absurdity of modern maternity, in her wittiest and wisest novel to date.

    This hilarious collection of essays by the offbeat writer and director is a treat for fans of the "Pope of Trash" and the perfect introduction for those who have not yet discovered his eccentric charms.

    . .From the editors of the New York Times bestseller Not Quite What I Was Planning comes another collection of terse true tales—this time simple sagas exploring the complexities of the human heart. Six-Word Memoirs on Love & Heartbreak contains hundreds of personal stories about the pinnacles and pitfalls of romance. Brilliant in their brevity, these insightful slivers of passion, pain, and connection capture every shade of love and loss—six words at a time.

    I Did. Now What?! Now it's time for her to write about the real love of her life: Wendell. Her dog.*Do you talk about your dog non-stop? *Do you suspect your dog is a genius? *Do you name each of your dog's toys?*Does your dog get more heavy petting than your spouse? *Do all holidays revolve around your dog? If any of these scenarios sound familiar, you probably have a healthy admiration for your dog. But if all of the scenarios in What Wendell Wants sound familiar, well, it's obvious that your appreciation of your pooch has truly crossed the line into true love--dysfunctional, sure, but who cares?! Jenny Lee knows this obsession inside and out, and her advice is not to fight it: there's simply no cure. Instead, she offers hysterical accounts of her own experiences--from fretting over her dog's haircut to getting his portrait painted a la Picasso to trying desperately to impress the Bed & Biscuit dog kennel--to give all kindred dog-loving spirits out there some consolation that they're not alone.From the Hardcover edition.

    In "elegant, finely honed prose" (The Washington Post Book World), Lebowitz limns the vicissitudes of contemporary urban life—its fads, trends, crazes, morals, and fashions. By turns ironic, facetious, deadpan, sarcastic, wry, wisecracking, and waggish, she is always wickedly entertaining.

    Fortunately, now an Anglo-American husband-and-wife team are here to help with a smart, funny, and handy guide that minds the gap between fact and fiction. From Whigs and Windsors to wankers and Wales, this spit-spot-on reference covers all manner of British history, society, culture, language, and everyday life, including• the class system, title envy, and a thumbnail sketch of British dynasties• highlights of the social season (yes, they have a social season)• Parliament, prime ministers, and a wild variety of political parties• British sports 101, including football (by which we mean soccer), cricket, rugby, snooker, and darts• answers to the pressing question: What’s on the telly?• British culinary delights, from Marmite to late-night tikka masala • odd pronunciations (e.g., how “St. John” becomes “Sin Jun”)• cockney slang, or why you should never get caught “telling porkies on the dog” • Londoners’ pride in the Tube and the truth about trainspottingSo whether you’re traveling to England on business or for pleasure, dating a Brit, hoping to comfort a homesick Londoner (whip up a treacle tart, recipe included), or simply curious about life across the pond, Britannia in Brief is the perfect companion.

    Some facts are too terrifying to teach in school. Unfortunately, Cracked.com is more than happy to fill you in:* A zombie apocalypse? It could happen. 50% of humans are infected with a parasite that can take over your brain.* The FDA wouldn't let you eat bugs, right? Actually, you might want to put down those jelly beans. And that apple. And that strawberry yogurt.* Think dolphins are our friends? Then these sex-crazed thrill killers of the sea have you right where they want you.* The most important discovery in the history of genetics? Francis Crick came up with it while on LSD.* Think you're going to choose whether or not to buy this book? Scientists say your brain secretly makes all your decisions 10 seconds before you even know what they are.If you’re a fan of The Oatmeal or Frak.com and hate being wrong about stuff, you’ll love what you find in You Might Be a Zombie from the twisted minds at Cracked.

    Featuring 50 common North American birds, such as the White-Breasted Butt Nugget and the Goddamned Canada Goose (or White-Breasted Nuthatch and Canada Goose for the layperson), Matt Kracht identifies all the idiots in your backyard and details exactly why they suck with ink drawings. Each entry is accompanied by facts about a bird's (annoying) call, its (dumb) migratory pattern, its (downright tacky) markings, and more.The essential guide to all things wings with migratory maps, tips for birding, musings on the avian population, and the ethics of birdwatching.

    BBC hit Sherlock has brought Conan Doyle's legendary detective to a whole new audience and Sherlock: The Casebook is The Great Game for the next generation. This is no ordinary guide. Each case is brought to life on the page and re-examined through Dr Watson's blog, Inspector Lestrade's police reports, newspaper articles about the crimes, Sherlock's detective notes and any other surviving clues from the cases. Interspersed amongst the evidence are exclusive interviews with the stars of the show, Benedict Cumberbatch, Martin Freeman and Rupert Graves, writers and co-creators Mark Gatiss and Steven Moffat and the production team on everything from writing the scripts and bringing the characters to life on screen to set design and production. This is a multi-dimensional companion to Sherlock and a glorious tribute to the world-famous detective.

    Some mammoths were smaller than children. Owls are the dumbest birds in the world. Very few people with Tourette's syndrome swear. You can't get a six-pack from doing sit-ups. King Arthur's sword wasn't called Excalibur. Milk doesn't make your bones strong. There's no bones in your fingers. The Bible states that humans can't become angels. Humans have more than two nostrils. It's impossible to slide down a bannister. At a wedding, the bride doesn't walk down the aisle. Ties were invented for war, not fashion. Most Disney classics made almost no money. Slavery has only been illegal in the UK since 2010. George Washington wasn't the first American President. Velcro doesn’t exist. Nobody knows why we sleep.

    Grammar gurus agree: Drama in writing emerges from the interplay of a subject (noun) and a predicate (verb). Constance Hale, the best-selling author of Sin and Syntax, zooms in on the colorful world of verbs. Synthesizing the pedagogical and the popular, the scholarly and the scandalous, Hale combines the wit of Bill Bryson with the practical wisdom of William Zinsser. She marches through linguistic history to paint a layered picture of our language—from before it really existed to the quirky usages we see online today. She warns about habits to avoid and inspires with samples of brilliant writing. A veteran teacher, Hale gives writing prompts along the way, helping readers “try, do, write, play.” Vex, Hex, Smash, Smooch guides us to more powerful writing by demonstrating how to use great verbs with style.

    It has been edited with the needs of English-speaking users in mind, whether students, teachers, business people, or casual linguists, and special care has been taken at each stage of its compilation including the selection of entry words and their equivalents, the wording of the detailed explanations of Japanese words, the choice of example sentences, and even its functional page design to maximize its usefulness. What is furigana and why is it so important? Furigana refers to the small kana that are printed above or alongside kanji to show their pronunciation. With furigana superscripts, the beginner who is familiar with hiragana and katakana is able to read even the most difficult and obscure kanji at a glance. Other dictionaries either provide little or no guide to kanji readings or romanize some or all of the Japanese words and sentences. In the past, romanized dictionaries were of some value to students using textbooks that contained no Japanese script. Now, however, an increasing number of influential curricula around the world are based on a rationale and methodology that demands the introduction of hiragana and katakana from the earliest stages. Learners and their teachers using such curricula will inevitably feel more comfortable with a dictionary such as Kodansha s Furigana Japanese Dictionary, one that shows the pronunciation of kanji with a familiar and authentic kana script. Combining Kodansha's Furigana Japanese-English Dictionary (1995) and Kodansha's Furigana English-Japanese Dictionary (1996) in one portable. affordable, and user-friendly volume, this dictionary has the following unique features: o A basic vocabulary of 30,000 entries covers the most frequently used English and Japanese words o Special treatment has been given to hundreds of words, names, and phrases of special relevance to English-speaking students of Japanese o Semantic and usage differences between Japanese words and expressions are explained in clear English o Thousands of example sentences and phrases illustrate how Japanese words are used in context o Special information is provided on verb conjugations, formality, and other aspects of Japanese grammar and usage