Rico Slade Will F*cking Kill You


Bradley N. Sands - 2011
    Rico Slade is not a body builder, an actor, or a governor. Rico Slade is an action hero. Rico Slade doesn't care about the political climate. Rico Slade has an advance degree in badassery. Rico Slade's favorite food is the honey-roasted peanut. Rico Slade can rip out a throat with his bare hands. But Rico Slade's arch nemesis, Baron Mayhem, is threatening to drop a bomb on the Earth that will kill every human being except himself while leaving the world's currency intact. To save the planet, Rico Slade must journey across Hollywood to find Baron Mayhem. Unfortunately, Rico Slade's crime fighting style involves ripping out the throat of anyone who gets in his way, including grandmothers and Midwestern tourists.As Rico Slade leaves Hollywood in ruins, the only person who can stop him from destroying the city is his Jewish psychologist, Harold Schwartzman. Until he does, Rico Slade will kill as many people as it takes to thwart Baron Mayhem's evil scheme. Rico Slade will fucking kill everyone.RICO SLADE WILL FUCKING KILL YOU.Praise for the book:"A one-man Expendables wrecking crew." - SUPERHERO NOVELS"Rico Slade can grab Chuck Norris by a wrist and an ankle and use him as a jump rope. If you're looking for some well-crafted literary mayhem that entertains and pleases in equal degrees, this is the book for you." - THE AUSTIN POST"And, though brilliant and vastly intelligent, it should also be noted that Bradley Sands is a dick." -CRACKED.COM"If you like violence. If you have a decent sense of humor. If you have ever wondered what would happen if Richard Brautigan wrote a 90's action film instead of killing himself in the winter of 1984...These are all great reasons to read Rico Slade Will Fucking Kill You." - HOUSEFIRE"Rico Slade Will Fucking Kill You is a biting piece of satire on the "unreality" of Hollywood." -THE UNDEAD RAT "Rico Slade Will Fucking Kill You is laugh out loud funny, full of cheesy dialogue, testosterone, and can easily be read in one sitting. Buy it now or Rico Slade might rip out your fucking throat."- SPONTANEOUS COMBUSTION"If Eugene Ionesco had a threesome with two reels of 80s action movies, the baby would be this book. If you like ridiculous humor with the hands-down wildest action you will ever read, this is your book." - ZOMBIEBLOODFIGHTS

Other People's Shit


C.V. Hunt - 2013
    People are turning into clowns. Society isn’t interested in finding a cure or treating the infected as humans. But when unconventional couriers begin to harass the contaminated, and clowns start disappearing, a band of transformed coworkers set out to find answers.

Shatnerquake


Jeff Burk - 2009
    Their mission: hunt down and destroy the real William Shatner. Featuring: Captain Kirk, TJ Hooker, Denny Crane, Priceline Shatner, Cartoon Kirk, Rescue 9-1-1 Shatner, singer Shatner, and many more. No costumed con-goer will be spared in their wave of destruction, no red shirt will make it out alive, and not even the Klingons will be able to stand up to a deranged Captain Kirk with a light saber. But these Shatner- clones are about to learn a hard lesson . . . that the real William Shatner doesn't take crap from anybody. Not even himself.

Attic Clowns: Volume One


Jeremy C. Shipp - 2012
    Shipp.The stories include:GigglesPrincessDon’t LaughThe Glass Box

Brief, Horrible Moments: A collection of one sentence horror stories


Marko Pandza - 2017
    Murder, death and the dead. Family, friends, love and relationships. Food and eating. Fear, dread, and the unknown. Crime and punishment. The human body. Lock the doors, turn up the lights, and take a deep breath. A series of brief, horrible moments await.

White Trash Gothic


Edward Lee - 2017
     Plagued by nightmares of torture and intense violence, a writer suffering from trauma-induced memory loss seeks to solve the mystery of his missing past. The only clue is a single page of an unfinished manuscript found in an old manual typewriter, in a fleabag motel, in a small West Virginian town called Luntville. It is here that the writer will seek answers, believing that if he finishes the book he was writing, his memories will return. But Luntville is not just some bumfuck town in the sticks. It is a place where the locals make extra cash by filming necro porn, a place where vigilantes practice a horrifying form of justice they call dead-dickin', a place haunted by the ghosts of serial killers, occult demons, and a monster called the Bighead. And as the writer attempts to make sense of the town and his connection to it, he will be challenged in ways that test the very limit of his sanity. Deadite Press is proud to present White Trash Gothic, the first book in a series of highly anticipated novels for fans of redneck nightmares and backwoods terror which invokes Edward Lee's many classic gross-outs while exploring even more revolting and disturbing new directions.

Entropy in Bloom


Jeremy Robert Johnson - 2017
    His short stories present a brilliantly dark and audaciously weird realm where cosmic nightmares collide with all-too-human characters and apocalypses of all shapes and sizes loom ominously. In “Persistence Hunting,” a lonely distance runner is seduced into a brutal life of crime with an ever-narrowing path for escape. In “When Susurrus Stirs,” an unlucky pacifist must stop a horrifying parasite from turning his body into a sentient hive. Running through all of Johnson’s work is a hallucinatory vision and deeply-felt empathy, earning the author a reputation as one of today’s most daring and thrilling writers.Featuring the best of his previously independently-published short fiction, as well as an exclusive, never-before-published novella “The Sleep of Judges”—where a father’s fight against the denizens of a drug den becomes a mind-bending suburban nightmare—Entropy in Bloom is a perfect compendium for avid fans and an ideal entry point for adventurous readers seeking the humor, heartbreak, and terror of JRJ’s strange new worlds.

The Bizarro Starter Kit (Orange)


Carlton Mellick IIIJohn Edward Lawson - 2006
    Its name: BIZARRO. For years, readers have been asking for a category of fiction dedicated to the weird, crazy, cult side of storytelling that has become a staple in the film industry (with directors such as David Lynch, Takashi Miike, Tim Burton, and Lloyd Kaufman) but has been largely ignored in the literary world, until now. The Bizarro Starter Kit features short novels and story collections by ten of the leading authors in the bizarro genre: D. Harlan Wilson, Carlton Mellick III, Jeremy Robert Johnson, Kevin L Donihe, Gina Ranalli, Andre Duza, VIncent W. Sakowski, Steve Beard, John Edward Lawson, and Bruce Taylor.

More Stories About Spaceships and Cancer


Casper Kelly - 2012
    Enter the mind of one of the seven dwarfs wrestling with his fevered sexual desire for Snow White. In another story, a cash-strapped elderly man in the future is quietly pressured to “retire” by having his brain put in a vat and live out the rest of his day in a virtual reality paradise. “Sex Fantasies at Work” follows an office drone who suspects he’s always at work and his entire home life is merely implanted memories. Read what Charles Yu calls “one of the funniest books I’ve read in years,” what Jack Pendarvis likened to Donald Barthelme by way of E.C. comics, and Joe Randazzo, the editor of The Onion, calls simply “f***ing awesome.”

The Captured Girl: A Novel of Survival during the Great Sioux War


Tom Reppert - 2016
    More than four years later in 1875, when the cavalry attacks her Indian village, she is rescued by Lieutenant Raines. Now eighteen, she returns to white society with her Cheyenne son at her side. Her struggle for survival has just begun.Filled with fascinating characters: outlaws, soldiers and warriors, English Dukes, Robber Barons, and the upstairs downstairs of back east society, this epic story of love and survival transports us from the Indian camps of Montana Territory to the mean streets of Gilded Age New York, and back again, right into the heart of the Great Sioux War. Reviews:“Realistic dialog; interpersonal entanglements and characterizations that come alive. It all adds authenticity to a historical work that makes for a delicious read.” Foster W. Cline, M.D, author of Parenting with Love and Logic.“The Captured Girl is a captivating story of survival and strength. Morgan’s is a tale of courage wouldn’t let go of my imagination even after I sadly turned the last page.” Mary Haley author of Ghost Writer, The Great Potato Murder.“An excellently written and fascinating story of the Sioux War of the 1800s. It is obvious that the author Tom Reppert has spent many hours researching that period of history, and he has made it come alive as few authors can. You can feel and identify with the inner struggle that his hero, a young soldier, goes through during his first battle.” Ana Parker Goodwin, author of Justice Forbidden

Young Donald


Michael Bennett - 2020
    Now, limbs terminally akimbo, Teddy’s body lies in a pool of blood in Jessup Quadrangle. And at the center of the investigation at the prestigious New Jersey Military Academy is young Donald.Surely blame for Teddy’s accidental death should not rest with him, Donald reasons. But how? Can people be convinced that Teddy took his own life? Can suspicion be cast on Stanley Wong, the Academy’s only Asian cadet? And with Teddy gone, who can Donald enlist to help him avoid blame?From New York real-estate moguls to Hong Kong triad bosses, Donald’s web of lies soon spins further than he could have ever imagined.

The Haunting of Hardlocke House


Amy Cross - 2020
    

The Brothers Crunk


William Pauley III - 2010
    After discovering a mutilated robot corpse in the middle of the desert, Divey mysteriously transforms into something abominable, setting a bizarre series of events into motion. Reynold follows his brother into the dark underworld of Tokyo, where there are no rules and old video game accessories are used as real weapons. Please consult a doctor if you experience any of the following symptoms while reading: convulsions, eye or muscle twitching, altered vision, involuntary movements, disorientation, or loss of awareness.

Deliver Us From Evil


Allen Lee Harris - 1988
    The details of the crime are bizarre, and the few citizens of Lucerne who know the shocking truth of the crime keep it secret...NOW...A young orphan boy arrives in the sleepy town...and in the dark woods something inhuman stirs in the 'snake well.' An ancient hunger has awakened. Soft voices call out from the dark forest, drifting over the bayou, echoing in the crawlspaces. The townsfolk's darkest nightmares stalk the moonlit streets. And two young boys must face an evil that has been waiting for millennia to bring humanity an everlasting night.DELIVER US FROM EVIL

Wisconsin Vamp


Scott Burtness - 2014
    He's not one of them.When truckstop diner cook and mediocre bowler Herb Knudsen becomes a vampire, his once simple life gets a bit more complicated.Herb’s not even sure how it happened. He wasn’t bitten by a vampire, which means there’s no one around to help him learn the ropes. With no one to guide him, Herb fumbles into his newfound abilities, courting disaster with every step.Despite learning each new lesson the hard way, being a vampire isn’t all bad. He’s stronger, a little sexier, and a heck of a lot better at bowling. Even Lois, the girl of his dreams, is starting to notice him. But he can’t drink beer, the bodies are piling up, and his best friend Dallas isn’t just getting suspicious – he’s getting jealous.When Lois is caught in the middle of the two friends' escalating rivalry, keeping his dark secret becomes the least of Herb's concerns.Booze, bowling, bake sales, bar fights, babes, blood and karaoke... Who would have thought that being undead would make life so exciting?