In Magical Mr. Goat, a young girl's imaginary friend yearns to become "more than friends." In Unprotected, an unused prophylactic recalls his years spent trapped inside a teen boy's wallet. The stories in Simon Rich's new book are bizarre, funny, and yet...relatable. Rich explores love's many complications-losing it, finding it, breaking it, and making it-and turns the ordinary into the absurd. With razor-sharp humor and illustrations, and just in time for Valentine's Day, Rich takes readers for an exhilarating, hilarious ride on the rollercoaster of love.

    Beware of the Wolves. Born without the ability to hear, Savannah has always had heightened senses. When her family moves to the mysterious town of Grey Mountain she can tell something is “off”. She soon meets Xander Wilson, and is consumed by his magnetic pull. Handsome and wild, he intoxicates her with his presence and makes her feel alive and uninhibited. Xander wants to claim her and defy his ancestral SHIFTER fate. But when his pack turns on her, will he be able to save her before the Grey consumes them both?

    The tasks assigned a bookish boy lead him to fateful encounters with lizards, owls, trolls and a feisty, sarcastic cat. A bear wedding is cause for celebration, the spinning wheel and the tower in the briar hedge get to tell their own stories, and a kitchenmaid finds out that a lost princess is more than she seems. The sea witch reveals what she hoped to gain when she took the mermaid’s voice. A wiser Snow White sets out to craft herself a new tale. In these eight stories and twenty-three poems, World Fantasy Award winner Theodora Goss retells and recasts fairy tales by Charles Perrault, the Brothers Grimm, Hans Christian Andersen, and Oscar Wilde. Sometimes harrowing, sometimes hilarious, always lyrical, the works gathered in SNOW WHITE LEARNS WITCHCRAFT re-center and empower the women at the heart of these timeless narratives.

    L. N. Hanover“Demon Lover” copyright © 2010 by Cecelia Holland“The Wayfarer’s Advice” copyright © 2010 by Melinda Snodgrass“Blue Boots” copyright © 2010 by Robin Hobb“The Thing About Cassandra” copyright © 2010 by Neil Gaiman“After the Blood” copyright © 2010 by Marjorie M. Liu“You, and You Alone” copyright © 2010 by Jacqueline Carey“His Wolf” copyright © 2010 by Lisa Tuttle“Courting Trouble” copyright © 2010 by Linnea Sinclair“The Demon Dancer” copyright © 2010 by Mary Jo Putney“Under/Above the Water” copyright © 2010 by Tanith Lee“Kaskia” copyright © 2010 by Peter S. Beagle“Man in the Mirror” copyright © 2010 by Yasmine Galenorn“A Leaf on the Wind of All Hallows” copyright © 2010 by Diana Gabaldon

    From Sir Edmund Spenser's "The Faerie Queene" to E. M. Forster's "The Machine Stops", literature is filled with sexy, deadly, and downright twisted tales. In this collection, today's most acclaimed award-winning and bestselling authors reimagine their favorite classic stories and use their own unique styles to rebuild these timeless stories, the ones that have inspired, awed, and enraged them, the ones that have become ingrained in modern culture, and the ones that have been too long overlooked. They take these twelve stories and boil them down to their bones, and reassemble them for a new generation of readers. Written from a twenty-first century perspective and set within the realms of science fiction, dystopian fiction, fantasy, and realistic fiction, these short stories are as moving and thought provoking as their originators. They pay homage to groundbreaking literary achievements of the past while celebrating each author's unique perception and innovative style.Contents:Introduction: Rags & Bones: New Twists on Timeless Tales (2013) • essay by Tim Pratt and Melissa MarrThat the Machine May Progress Eternally (2013) / shortfiction by Carrie Ryan, inspired by E.M. Forster's The Machine StopsThe King of Elfland's Daughter (2013) • interior artwork by Charles VessLosing Her Divinity [Sir Hereward and Mister Fitz] (2013) / shortfiction by Garth Nix, inspired by The Man Who Would Be KingThe Sleeper and the Spindle (2013) / novelette by Neil Gaiman, inspired by Sleeping BeautyKai Lung's Golden Hours (2013) • interior artwork by Charles VessThe Cold Corner (2013) / shortfiction by Tim Pratt, inspired by Henry James' The Jolly CornerMillcara (2013) / shortfiction by Holly Black, inspired by Joseph Sheridan Le Fanu's CarmillaFigures of Earth (2013) • interior artwork by Charles VessWhen First We Were Gods (2013) / shortfiction by Rick Yancey, inspired by Nathaniel Hawthorne's The BirthmarkSirocco (2013) / shortfiction by Margaret Stohl, inspired by Horace Walpole's The Castle of OtrantoThe Shaving of Shagpat (2013) • interior artwork by Charles VessAwakened (2013) / shortfiction by Melissa Marr, inspired by Kate Chopin's The AwakeningNew Chicago (2013) / shortfiction by Kelley Armstrong, inspired by W. W. Jacob's The Monkey's PawThe Wood Beyond the World (2013) • interior artwork by Charles VessThe Soul Collector (2013) / shortfiction by Kami Garcia, inspired by the Brothers Grimm's RumpelstiltskinWithout Faith, Without Law, Without Joy (2013) / shortfiction by Saladin Ahmed, inspired by Sir Edmund Spenser's Faerie QueeneGoblin Market (2013) • interior artwork by Charles VessUncaged (2013) / shortfiction by Gene Wolf, inspired by William Seabrook's The Caged White Werewolf..

    RosenmanBy the Time the Witchblood Blooms • (2000) • short story by Anne BishopA Family Affair • (2000) • novelette by William C. DietzSuspended • (2000) • novelette by Michelle R. GaweBorders • (2000) • short story by Nancy Jane MooreKiss Me, You Fool • (1993) • short story by Del Stone, Jr.Round Dragon, Angry Tiger • (2000) • novelette by Steven PiziksThe Judas Lesson • (2000) • short story by Jerry OltionThe Fine Art of Betrayal • (2000) • novelette by Karen HaberFrozen • (2000) • short story by Tom CoolThe Traitor • (2000) • short story by Lois TiltonWhat's in a Name? • (2000) • short story by Douglas SmithRena 733 • (2000) • short story by Lisa SilverthorneChalk Circle • (2000) • short story by Greg McElhattonTrue Love in the Day After Tomorrow • (2000) • novelette by Scott EdelmanThe Divi • (2000) • short story by Irene RadfordHer Fair and Unpolluted Flesh • (2000) • novelette by K. D. WentworthPerfidy • (2000) • short fiction by Dennis L. McKiernanThe Passenger • (2000) • short story by Julie E. Czerneda

    Enter the world of the Royal and Reckless, where the blue bloods run red hot, and scorching secrets lie just beneath the polished surface. Inside these pages, you’ll find stranded royals, fiancees, reverse harem kingdoms, and more than one compromising position. From hidden royalty to secret babies, plots and twisted games, there’s something for everyone in the steamy scandal behind the crowns. Join the Royal and the Reckless with more than twenty sizzling tales of sex, love, intrigue, betrayal, and blackmail! PREORDER your limited edition copy TODAY! Including titles from… New York Times bestselling author Elizabeth Briggs USA Today bestselling author Terry Keys USA Today bestselling author Laura Greenwood J.L. Beck & Syndi Burns Sylvie Stewart Sienna Blake Hazel Parker Kim Carmichael Jen Katemi Skye MacKinnon Carmen Falcone K.C. Finn Arizona Tape Maggie Carpenter Isabella White Summer Cooper Mia Kayla Christine Glover Shandi Boyes Stephanie Morris Scarlett Avery Helen Scott Sybil Bartel M.C. Cerny

    MEET CUTE is an anthology of original short stories featuring tales of "how they first met" from some of today’s most popular YA authors. Readers will experience Nina LaCour's beautifully written piece about two Bay Area girls meeting via a cranky customer service Tweet, Sara Shepard's glossy tale about a magazine intern and a young rock star, Nicola Yoon's imaginative take on break-ups and make-ups, Katie Cotugno's story of two teens hiding out from the police at a house party, and Huntley Fitzpatrick's charming love story that begins over iced teas at a diner. There’s futuristic flirting from Kass Morgan and Katharine McGee, a riveting transgender heroine from Meredith Russo, a subway missed connection moment from Jocelyn Davies, and a girl determined to get out of her small town from Ibi Zoboi. Jennifer Armentrout writes a sweet story about finding love from a missing library book, Emery Lord has a heartwarming and funny tale of two girls stuck in an airport, Dhonielle Clayton takes a thoughtful, speculate approach to pre-destined love, and Julie Murphy dreams up a fun twist on reality dating show contestants. This incredibly talented group of authors brings us a collection of stories that are at turns romantic and witty, epic and everyday, heartbreaking and real.

    Featuring three brand new, original tales and three reprints, each story explores a different set of characters in a different world and facing different problems in the future world. "Doctor-Patient Confidentiality": A girl wakes up in a cryomed unit and must recall why she's there and what's she's lost. "The Most Precious Memory": In a world where memories are sold and consumed like drugs, one deal has a weird twist."The Girl & the Machine": A time traveler meets someone who claims she's met his future self and that they'll change the world together."Lag": A reporter has found the story of a lifetime--but a malfunctioning teleportation has made her forget it..."The Turing Test": A college student must determine which test subject is human and which is an android with A.I."As They Slip Away": A novella set in the world of Across the Universe, exploring the fate of a side character.

     Trolls aren't born. They're made, and they fight for the kingdom of Adynn. They are its first and fiercest protectors, guarding the roads into the mountain kingdom. When young Morgana befriends a newly made troll boy and names him Peter, she unwittingly reveals her magic to his creator. Sorcerer Veritas removes her from her remote village to the School of Sorcery. There she will learn to cast spells and forge charms, but she’ll also learn the high price of friendship, and the reality that someone with her magical ability will always be a target for others who seek power. War is coming to the kingdom of Adynn. The Vlad Empire, with its death magic and slaves, is closing in. Morgana will be trained as a war wizard, but in her heart she resists the role. She doesn’t want to fight and she refuses to kill. So Sorcerer Veritas will provide a little motivation. "The Troll Bridge" is an all new fairy tale, a coming of age quest about the power of friendship and the price of magic.

    Tia claims that her lamented mom is a three-thousand-year-old mummy, but is it really an act? Cody sets out to foil a pop psychic, but the shocking result is not what he planned for. And Tiffany’s grandma sees something wild in her future, but is the girl prepared for the powerful shape it will take? Whether the sideshow touts a two-headed rat or a turn-of-the-century American jargo, whether the subject discovers an odd kind of miracle or learns that the real freaks are outside the tent, these stories and graphic tales are by turns humorous and insightful, edgy and eerie, but always compulsively entertaining.

    But before she can investigate in her own small town, she is forced to spend the summer with her Uncle Clayton, the owner of Grand Hallow--a massive funeral and mortuary operation the size of a small city. Her move to Grand Hallow only deepens the mystery as she begins to suspect the strange and chilling occurrences there are linked to her father's death. With the help of her acid-tongued best friend and deadbeat brother, Lisa must unravel the secrets of Grand Hallow--before it's too late. Mystery/Suspense/Horror

    We had beaten the common cold. But in doing so we created something new, something terrible that no one could stop. The infection spread, a man-made virus taking over bodies and minds, filling them with one, unstoppable command...FEED.Countdown"Everglades"San Diego 2014: The Last Stand of the California BrowncoatsHow Green This Land, How Blue This SeaThe Day the Dead Came to Show and TellPlease Do Not Taunt the OctopusAll the Pretty Little HorsesComing to You Live

    There are no superficial scares here; these are stories that will make you think even as they keep you on the edge of your seat. From bloody horror to supernatural creatures to unsettling, all-too-possible realism, this collection has something for any reader looking for a thrill.Fans of TV’s The Walking Dead, True Blood, and American Horror Story will tear through tales by these talented authors:Stefan BachmannLeigh BardugoKendare BlakeA. G. HowardJay KristoffMarie LuJonathan MaberryDanielle PaigeCarrie RyanMegan ShepherdNova Ren SumaMcCormick TemplemanApril Genevieve TucholkeCat Winters

    Have you heard the urban myth about Jesus's double-jointed elbows yet? 100% true. Or seen the latest reports on the 'groomgrabbing' trend - the benevolent kidnapping of badly-dressed children by their well-meaning (and more dapper) elders? Heard the one about the Amazon from the Isle of Man? Or perhaps you'd like a job in telesales, offering self-defence classes over the phone? Don't worry, as long as you meet the weekly quota, you won't be sent to the end of the hall...Wonderfully original, fresh and funny, 'Topics About Which I Know Nothing' is stuffed to the gills with dizzyingly inventive writing and warming, puzzling emotions - a fictional guide to how the world might have turned out.