The Onion Ad Nauseam: Complete News Archives, Volume 14 collects every article that The Onion published between November 2001 and October 2002, including opinion pieces, horoscopes, and your favorite columns from all of the Onion regulars.The Onion Ad Nauseam: Complete News Archives, Volume 14 is packed with material no longer available online or anywhere else. Look for a new volume every year.

    Flames of Chaos spread, swallowing up all they can with horrific hunger, bringing pain and madness to all they cross. Across the ocean, the lands have long since begun to die. The Empire of mankind struggles to maintain against the pressing weight of drought, famine, and the long-standing dangers of the Eastern Mountains, where ancient Dwarven [Constructs] and monsters roam. The people whisper of a coming doom, and some say even the Emperor's own Seers claim the end has begun... But none of these things have anything to do with a Tiny Snake. Not in the slightest. ------ From the online web-serial, comes a story of reincarnation, comedy, and the winding path towards existential redemption: All Hail The Tiny Snake God!

    His frustration at the situation is palpable, but when he's taken home by good-looking Hamilton, his plan is to win over his new owner and make his escape? However, after a few weeks with Hamilton, does he want to make a complete escape, or just stop being caged? If you like foul-mouthed tiny shifters whose surly attitudes are many times bigger than their physical presence, then this may be the book for you.

     Includes Overdue Account, Walter's Cargo Shorts, Simon's Piecharts, Missing Missy, Obviously a Foggot, Formal Complaints, Justin’s Floodlight, Matthew’s Party, Permission Slip and many more.

    And this scene should appear in the story at some point. Have fun with it! I want to laugh.Anything else you want to do with it is fine by me.Photo Description: In the picture we see a cheetah in full run, chasing an ostrich through a steppe-like landscape. The ostrich’s wings are spread, his feathers ruffled, as he tries to escape the faster, but physically weaker, cat. Above those two, we see the line SHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHIT.This story was written as a part of the M/M Romance Group's "Love is an Open Road" event. Group members were asked to write a story prompt inspired by a photo of their choice. Authors of the group selected a photo and prompt that spoke to them and wrote a short story. This story may contain sexually explicit content and is intended for adult readers. It may contain content that is disagreeable or distressing to some readers. The M/M Romance Group strongly recommends that each reader review the General Information section before each story for story tags as well as for content warnings.

    He has one chance to redeem himself before he’s thrown into a nasty pit. All Brian has to do is save the life of Kevin Anderson, a boy he and his friends tormented for being gay. Kevin thought he’d finally escaped bullying. But his college roommate, Chuck, and his homophobic pals, prove him wrong. Now he can only wait for another room to open up—and try to keep his eyes off sexy, uber-straight Chuck. Chuck is struggling to keep up the tough-guy façade everyone expects, but being trapped in a dorm room with the prettiest twink he’s ever seen isn’t helping him keep his feelings hidden. If Brian can untangle this mess, he’ll deserve his wings.

    Computer pioneer Alan Turing and the Beat author William Burroughs connect in Tangier and begin a love affair. The novel fuses SF themes with beatnik styles and attitudes, switching between Turing's and Burroughs's points of view.Turing and Burroughs find a way to shapeshift into telepathic slugs, and society's reaction serves as a symbol of the 1950s horror of gays, artists, intellectuals and political outsiders.As our heroes flee the feds, the story becomes a road novel. In traditional 1950s SF style, they head for a nuclear test site in Los Alamos, New Mexico. En route, Turing and Burroughs visit Mexico City and have a heavy encounter with Burroughs's murdered wife.The story comes to a head with a thermonuclear blast and a final transcendence.

    If you’re going to be an agent for the Australian Department of Unusual Events, then you need to know how to deal with werewolves. And werewolves, rookies, are not pleasant creatures to deal with. The average werewolf is seven feet tall and weighs roughly two hundred and fifty kilograms. The average werewolf also wants nothing more than to rip your face off and eat you for dinner.If you want to beat a werewolf, you can’t afford to fight fair. No, you cheat – you cheat as much as you bloody can. If that means sneaking up on it and putting a silver bullet in the back of its head with a sniper rifle, then that’s what you do. But I’m not going to waste your time by telling you what you already know. I’m not going to tell you about a mission where everything went right. I’m going to tell you about a mission where things went wrong because things always go wrong and learning how to deal with that is the only way you’ll last more than a year or two in the Department.So pay attention and take notes. It could save your life.

    Adventure. Babies! The Darkvale Dragons series is an mpreg paranormal shifter series about fated mates, epic adventures, and love that overcomes all obstacles. This 600+ page box set includes three full books and an exclusive sneak preview of book 4 in the series! Each book has been lovingly re-edited and re-formatted. Strap in for three scorching tales of family, mates, and magic. Included: The Dragon's Runaway Omega -- An exiled dragon shifter rescues a young omega from being sacrificed...but as their relationship grows, who's saving who? The Dragon's Second Chance Omega -- Secret Baby! Second Chance! Marlowe thought he'd lost his mate forever, but when he finds his omega five years later with a kid in tow, can love bloom once more? The Dragon's Forbidden Omega -- May/December, Teacher/Student. Ansel returns from the Academy to find that his clan is at war, and his longtime mentor smells mysteriously like his mate... Sneak Peek of Book 4 -- You'll have to read it to find out ;) Each book is intended for 18+ audiences and is filled with all the things you crave: smoking-hot shifters, mpreg, knotting, and of course, adorable children. The series takes place in a rich fantasy world torn by battle. If you're looking for a series filled with lust, danger, and spice, you've come to the right place.

    That's right, Mallory is dreaming about Santa Claus, and it's giving her the willies. Everyone loves Santa! What can it possibly mean that the cheerful big guy makes her fangs chatter? Click to find out whether Mallory's strange new Santa-phobia takes all the happy out of her holiday.

    This wasn't always the case, but years in the soul-shattering world of retail have made Wade a bitter, cynical young man. Impeded by a lack of direction and nearly infinite levels apathy, Wade idles through his days avoiding waves of annoying customers, his obtrusive boss and any kind of work in general. When a management opportunity makes itself available Wade finds himself facing an unprecedented weekend of opportunity and distraction, a gauntlet of women he can't begin to understand, and a potential mental breakdown that could destroy his personal and professional life at once.

    Try, "I was overcome by the urge to alphabetize my pets," or perhaps a simple "Had ninja trouble." Steve has used both these excuses, and here they are hilariously illustrated. He also has claimed to have become temporarily feral, accidentally sold himself on eBay, and gotten stuck in a romantic montage. An illustration of Steve with Darth Vader accompanies the inarguable excuse "I was seduced by the Dark Side." He also gets lost in his duvet, and discovers he has a rather unusual superpower.

    Instead, he found himself face to face—quite literally—with the supernatural. But really, the whimpering vampire nursing a hangover wasn’t exactly threatening (although Ross is pretty sure he shouldn’t have given that energy drink to a goblin…).As Ross proves he is not easily shaken, more and more creatures of the night come calling, including the clanmaster himself. Ross isn’t sure what to think about Glenn, but the handsome vampire has made it clear what he thinks of Ross—and with that attention comes an offer he’s not sure he wants.At least, until a little fire sprite convinces him otherwise, because he’s definitely not paid enough for this. Tags:Poor put upon retail workers, Ross didn’t deserve this, Fate is cruel, so am I, sexy vampires, Australian wizards, supernats love energy drinks for some reason, the trauma of changing jobs, crack, so much crack, not a single degree of chill from Glenn where Ross is concerned, slow burn, only one gas station was harmed in the making of this story

     Filled with stories about injuries sustained while patients were not thinking so clearly, sad tales that reveal the not-so-funny side of the emergency room, things I've learned after years of being in this position, and signs you work in the ER, this condensed book has just enough to tickle your funny bone and then make you cry.

    61 pages of summaries and analysis on Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris.This study guide includes the following sections: Plot Summary, Chapter Summaries & Analysis, Characters, Objects/Places, Themes, Style, Quotes, and Topics for Discussion.