Who Stole My Spandex? is a witty selection of stories from Doyle’s madcap world of menopausal pitfalls, wardrobe malfunctions, and a family full of pranksters. This clever compilation includes laugh-out-loud pieces like "Queen of Klutz,” "One Size Fits None," and "Hands off my Egg Roll!" From couples' colonoscopies to nightmare holidays to disappearing spandex, no topic—no matter how crazy or unimaginable—is too taboo. With a heavy dose of self-deprecating humor, and a dash of sentiment, this marvelous collection of anecdotes will resonate with anyone who’s ever felt the call of nature at exactly the wrong time. Welcome to the nuthouse that Marcia Kester Doyle calls home.

    This book is both an example-driven programmer's guide and a keep-on-your-desk reference, with new chapters that explain everything you need to know to get the most out of JavaScript, including:Scripted HTTP and Ajax XML processing Client-side graphics using the canvas tag Namespaces in JavaScript--essential when writing complex programs Classes, closures, persistence, Flash, and JavaScript embedded in Java applicationsPart I explains the core JavaScript language in detail. If you are new to JavaScript, it will teach you the language. If you are already a JavaScript programmer, Part I will sharpen your skills and deepen your understanding of the language.Part II explains the scripting environment provided by web browsers, with a focus on DOM scripting with unobtrusive JavaScript. The broad and deep coverage of client-side JavaScript is illustrated with many sophisticated examples that demonstrate how to:Generate a table of contents for an HTML document Display DHTML animations Automate form validation Draw dynamic pie charts Make HTML elements draggable Define keyboard shortcuts for web applications Create Ajax-enabled tool tips Use XPath and XSLT on XML documents loaded with Ajax And much morePart III is a complete reference for core JavaScript. It documents every class, object, constructor, method, function, property, and constant defined by JavaScript 1.5 and ECMAScript Version 3.Part IV is a reference for client-side JavaScript, covering legacy web browser APIs, the standard Level 2 DOM API, and emerging standards such as the XMLHttpRequest object and the canvas tag.More than 300,000 JavaScript programmers around the world have made this their indispensable reference book for building JavaScript applications."A must-have reference for expert JavaScript programmers...well-organized and detailed."-- Brendan Eich, creator of JavaScript

    And her heart belongs to her beloved cousin, Michael. Polly knows that one day they'll be man and wife. But a terrible secret is to change everything: Michael is her half-brother, the fruit of an incestuous relationship between her father and his own sister; Michael's mother. The lovers are rent apart and Polly is left to bear the responsibility of the farm alone; for her father kills himself, unable to live with his shame. Life is now a battle for survival, and Polly wonders if she will ever find happiness. But the answer to her prayers is closer than she thinks...

    Nine months later, a call from the adoption agency plunges them into every parent's worst nightmare: the father never signed away his parental rights, and now he wants his daughter back. The teenage biological father has no love for his daughter and Jack and Melissa can't understand why he and his father want the girl so badly. With three weeks until they must legally hand over their baby, just how far outside the law are they prepared to go to find out? Blue Heaven If twelve-year-old Annie hadn't been angry with her mother, she would never have taken her younger brother William on a secret fishing trip deep into the North Idaho woods and they would never have witnessed the execution. Now they're running for their lives. There's nowhere for William and Annie to hide. And no one they can trust. Until they meet Jess Rawlins. Rawlins, an old-school rancher, knows something is wrong with the law in Blue Heaven. But he is only one against four men who will stop at nothing to silence their witnesses... Back of Beyond When Detective Cody Hoyt finds the dead body of his AA sponsor in a burned-out mountain cabin, he doesn't know what to believe. Was this the last desperate act of an addict? Or is that exactly what someone wants him to think? Cody's determined to avenge the man who was always there for him and, when evidence incriminates a wilderness guide, Hoyt is ready to track him down. The only problem is the guide has Cody's son, and he's taking him into the back of beyond.

    Written by three prominent members of the Perl community who each have several years of experience teaching Perl around the world, this edition has been updated to account for all the recent changes to the language up to Perl 5.8.Perl is the language for people who want to get work done. It started as a tool for Unix system administrators who needed something powerful for small tasks. Since then, Perl has blossomed into a full-featured programming language used for web programming, database manipulation, XML processing, and system administration--on practically all platforms--while remaining the favorite tool for the small daily tasks it was designed for. You might start using Perl because you need it, but you'll continue to use it because you love it.Informed by their years of success at teaching Perl as consultants, the authors have re-engineered the Llama to better match the pace and scope appropriate for readers getting started with Perl, while retaining the detailed discussion, thorough examples, and eclectic wit for which the Llama is famous.The book includes new exercises and solutions so you can practice what you've learned while it's still fresh in your mind. Here are just some of the topics covered:Perl variable typessubroutinesfile operationsregular expressionstext processingstrings and sortingprocess managementusing third party modulesIf you ask Perl programmers today what book they relied on most when they were learning Perl, you'll find that an overwhelming majority will point to the Llama. With good reason. Other books may teach you to program in Perl, but this book will turn you into a Perl programmer.

    Cryptography is vital to keeping information safe, in an era when the formula to do so becomes more and more challenging. Written by a team of world-renowned cryptography experts, this essential guide is the definitive introduction to all major areas of cryptography: message security, key negotiation, and key management. You'll learn how to think like a cryptographer. You'll discover techniques for building cryptography into products from the start and you'll examine the many technical changes in the field.After a basic overview of cryptography and what it means today, this indispensable resource covers such topics as block ciphers, block modes, hash functions, encryption modes, message authentication codes, implementation issues, negotiation protocols, and more. Helpful examples and hands-on exercises enhance your understanding of the multi-faceted field of cryptography.An author team of internationally recognized cryptography experts updates you on vital topics in the field of cryptography Shows you how to build cryptography into products from the start Examines updates and changes to cryptography Includes coverage on key servers, message security, authentication codes, new standards, block ciphers, message authentication codes, and more Cryptography Engineering gets you up to speed in the ever-evolving field of cryptography.

    This book follows in the tradition of the first two: It delivers new material, organized in bite-sized Items and grouped into themed sections. Readers of the first two books will find some familiar section themes, now including new material, such as exception safety, generic programming, and optimization and memory management techniques. The books overlap in structure and theme, not in content. This book continues the strong emphasis on generic programming and on using the C++ standard library effectively, including coverage of important template and generic programming techniques. Sutter's goal for this third and final book in his set is to present case studies that pull together themes from the previous books. This book also covers important points presented at the C++ Standard Committee where corrections to the Standard have been discussed and accepted.

    In this handbook, data expert Q. Ethan McCallum has gathered 19 colleagues from every corner of the data arena to reveal how they’ve recovered from nasty data problems.From cranky storage to poor representation to misguided policy, there are many paths to bad data. Bottom line? Bad data is data that gets in the way. This book explains effective ways to get around it.Among the many topics covered, you’ll discover how to:Test drive your data to see if it’s ready for analysisWork spreadsheet data into a usable formHandle encoding problems that lurk in text dataDevelop a successful web-scraping effortUse NLP tools to reveal the real sentiment of online reviewsAddress cloud computing issues that can impact your analysis effortAvoid policies that create data analysis roadblocksTake a systematic approach to data quality analysis

    This guide also teaches you safe and practical ways to scale applications through replication, load balancing, high availability, and failover. Updated to reflect recent advances in MySQL and InnoDB performance, features, and tools, this third edition not only offers specific examples of how MySQL works, it also teaches you why this system works as it does, with illustrative stories and case studies that demonstrate MySQL’s principles in action. With this book, you’ll learn how to think in MySQL. Learn the effects of new features in MySQL 5.5, including stored procedures, partitioned databases, triggers, and views Implement improvements in replication, high availability, and clustering Achieve high performance when running MySQL in the cloud Optimize advanced querying features, such as full-text searches Take advantage of modern multi-core CPUs and solid-state disks Explore backup and recovery strategies—including new tools for hot online backups

    With this practical book, you'll explore the often-misunderstood practice of user story mapping, and learn how it can help keep your team stay focused on users and their experience throughout the development process.You and your team will learn that user stories aren't a way to write better specifications, but a way to organize and have better conversations. This book will help you understand what kinds of conversations you should be having, when to have them, and what to keep track of when you do. Learn the key concepts used to create a great story map. Understand how user stories really work, and how to make good use of them in agile and lean projects. Examine the nuts and bolts of managing stories through the development cycle. Use strategies that help you continue to learn before and after the product's release to customers and usersUser Story Mapping is ideal for agile and lean software development team members, product managers and UX practitioners in commercial product companies, and business analysts and project managers in IT organizations—whether you're new to this approach or want to understand more about it.

    Every book will be a stand-alone with its own story and ending, but will be set in Blue Moon Bay---a sleepy little town on the coast of South Carolina, and its inhabitants. In this book, Posey and Suze play amateur sleuths when a murderer strikes too close for comfort. They soon find themselves on the trail of the killer; not a cold trail, but one so hot they may get burned. If you like cozy mysteries filled with interesting and sometimes eccentric characters, plenty of humor and enough twists and turns, thrills and chills to satisfy any mystery lover, you'll like the Posey Moon Murder Mystery series. BONUS RECIPES in every book!

    He was born with a purpose and a duty; to win back his legacy from the evil Murdoch Mackintosh, who killed his father and rob him of his rightful place. With that burden on his shoulders, Andrew lived all his life preparing for this moment, but his destiny is in jeopardy when he meets an alluring lass... Nairne Mackintosh was afraid of her father, Murdoch, her whole life. Raised by a man who was tormenting and abusing her, she never thought that tenderness and happiness were an option for her. One day, on the shores of a mystical loch, a very naked and vulnerable, Nairne meets a young man who will change her life forever and put her in even bigger danger than she already is... Andrew is focused on getting his revenge for the murder of his father, but lasses can be distracting when found in the woods alone. He thought he knew his destiny until she changed everything... *If you like brawny Highland warriors with a soft heart, and romantic stories depicting the majestic and mysterious Scottish Highlands, then Highlander's Rightful Claim is the perfect novel for you. "Highlander's Rightful Claim" is a Historical Scottish romance novel of more than 80,000 words (around 440 pages). No cheating, no cliffhangers, and a guaranteed happily ever after.

    Visit the SEO Made Simple (fourth edition) page for more information. http: //www.amazon.com/SEO-Made-Simple-4th-Ed... More Than 30,000 Copies Sold! The original SEO Made Simple: Strategies for Dominating the World's Leading Search Engine, is a tell-all guide for anyone trying to reach the highly coveted #1 ranking on Google for their Web site or Blog. Learn from a leading Webmaster the specific SEO techniques that deliver top rankings in less than 30 days. Whether you're a search engine optimization expert or new to Web site rankings, the techniques revealed in SEO Made Simple will give you everything you need to dominate the leading search engines. Generate tons of traffic to your website absolutely FREE with top search engine placement on Google, Yahoo! and MSN. SEO Made Simple is the only resource on search engine optimization that you'll ever need.

    With this hands-on reference, you'll focus on implementation rather than theory, and discover why the RESTful method is far better than technologies like CORBA and SOAP. It's easy to get started with services based on the REST architecture. RESTful Java with JAX-RS includes a technical guide that explains REST and JAX-RS, how they work, and when to use them. With the RESTEasy workbook that follows, you get step-by-step instructions for installing, configuring, and running several working JAX-RS examples using the JBoss RESTEasy implementation of JAX-RS.Work on the design of a distributed RESTful interface, and develop it in Java as a JAX-RS serviceDispatch HTTP requests in JAX-RS, and learn how to extract information from themDeploy your web services within Java Enterprise Edition using the Application class, Default Component Model, EJB Integration, Spring Integration, and JPADiscover several options for securing your web servicesLearn how to implement RESTful design patterns using JAX-RSWrite RESTful clients in Java using libraries and frameworks such as java.net.URL, Apache HTTP Client, and RESTEasy Proxy

    This essential resource is a complete guide to preparing for the ITIL Foundation exam and includes everything you need for success. Organized around the ITIL Foundation (2011) syllabus, the study guide addresses the ITIL Service Lifecycles, the ITIL processes, roles, and functions, and also thoroughly explains how the Service Lifecycle provides effective and efficient IT services.Offers an introduction to IT service management and ITIL V3 service strategy Highlights the topics of service design and development and the service management processes Reviews the building, testing, authorizing, documenting, and implementation of new and changed services into operation Addresses creating and maintaining value for customers through monitoring and improving services, processes, and technology Download valuable study tools including practice exams, flashcards, a glossary of key terms and more. If you prefer self-study over the more expensive training course, but you don't want to skimp on information or preparation, then this study guide is for you.