This could be due to the nearsightedness that presented itself in third grade when she became known as four-eyed Smelly Kelly, but it’s not. According to her high school Journalism teacher, Potter has a unique perspective and outlook on life. She still doesn’t know if that was a compliment or an insult – or perhaps, just a nice way to say she’s weird. In this collection of essays, Four Eyes Were Never Better Than Two…and other observations, Potter offers a candid look at the human condition with tales recounting the past and present. From her younger days of dreaming about being a Dallas Cowboy cheerleader so she could own pom-poms to sex education taught by a Joyce Dewitt look-alike, Potter confesses all – including the ironic account of throwing up on a dog named Ralph. No stranger to embarrassment, she writes of cold sores that require an exorcism and the torture that was seventh grade gym class, capturing the angst, humiliation, and absurdity in those moments that often define us as individuals. Observations include: desperation can make a person do some pretty stupid things like answering a personal ad, hot wax is best left in the hands of a professional if you value your lips, and nothing is so surprising as the man who claims to hate dancing busting a move in a hospital recovery room. Even if you’ve never had to admit in a public setting that you’re having your period, passed out at the eye doctor’s office, or had an illogical fear of a lawn mower, Potter’s self-deprecating wit and sometimes bizarre sense of humor will make you glad these things only happen on sit-coms… or to her.

    For the amusement of his friends, he?d often recount in long e-mails his latest misadventure, whether it was witnessing an armed robbery or being vomited on during his first sexual experience. In 2002, he started collecting those stories on a Web site he founded, mentallyincontinent.com. Soon he had a large following of visitors, including a rabid core group who suggested edits and helped him hone his writing craft. In 2005, he self-published the best stories from his site as a collection and in the years since he?s been holding impromptu readings across the country, selling thousands of copies (mostly out of the back of his truck). In Mentally Incontinent, Joe delivers a batch of hilarious and brand-new stories, featuring his misadventures with a stalker, his blind date with a fifteen-year-old, and his frustrated attempts to convince his mom that he?s not gay. A natural storyteller and a self-proclaimed magnet for weirdness, Joe Peacock has emerged from the bowels of the Internet with some interesting tales to tell.

    If your train is late, it is typical. If there are no seats on the upper deck of a bus, it is typical. If it starts to rain at five o'clock just before you leave work, it is typical.''The English do not like to be wished "Have a nice day", because to them it sounds like a command. They think, Who the hell do you think you are to order me to have a nice day?' Ten years ago, Angela Kiss arrived in the UK without a word of English. All she brought with her was a small bag, a sense of adventure, a desire to work and a copy of George Mikes' classic 1940s' humour book about the peculiarities of the British, How to be an Alien.Through every dodgy flat share, low-paid waitressing job, awkward date and office mishap, Angela held tight to George's wit and wisdom. With his help she began to understand how to live amongst the English - with their eccentricity, spirit and singing train drivers - and fell in love with a land rich in green spaces, pubs and puddings. A wry, often affectionate view on the English, and how to navigate our national personality.

    Constable Wood was a disaster waiting to happen. He was the sort of cop who was happier helping little old ladies across the street (even when they were quite content where they were) than pursuing the perpetrators of dreadful deeds. But if he failed to strike fear into the hearts of the criminal underworld, his superiors had a real problem on their hands. Never before had they been forced to deal with such a well-meaning but accident-prone officer and they hoped, fervently, never to see his like again. From his early encounters with a less-than-impressed public, through the terrifying days of the Springbok Tour riots, to the gradual realisation that perhaps he wasn’t cut out for life on the beat, this is the hilarious story of a young cop who created a severe disturbance in the force.

    In The Art of Living Other People's Lives, Greg delivers a funny, brash, insightful collection of stories on becoming a pick-up artist to get over an ex-girlfriend, late-night adventures with his Uber drivers, a writing gig about men's underwear, and so much more.Whether he's learning to hashtag from his tech-savvy mom, pestering Mark Cuban for life advice, or eavesdropping on strangers for story ideas, Greg takes readers on a hilariously neurotic and self-analytical journey that explores the struggle of balancing his plugged-in persona with his real-world self. Along the way, he--and you--might discover that life is a whole lot simpler online.

    After a highly publicized and controversial exit from Mormonism, Lamborn intertwines the story of his awakening with psychological aspects of religious belief.

    The Forrest Gump of the funeral industry, Abbott was everywhere celebrities died, from helping to prepare Marilyn Monroe’s body for burial to standing next to Christopher Walken at Natalie Wood’s funeral. Now in his memoir “Pardon My Hearse,” Abbott tells the rags-to-shroud story of how we went from a young man with a hearse to the funeral driver to the stars—a rollicking, unexpectedly hilarious story of glamorous funerals, mishaps with corpses, and true-life glimpses of celebrities at their most revealing moments. ”Pardon My Hearse” is an eye-opening look at secret Hollywood from the man who literally knows where the bodies are buried.

    isn't it?'A John Cleese Twitter question ['What is your pet peeve?'], first sparked the 'Weird Things Customers Say in Bookshops' blog, which grew over three years into one bookseller's collection of ridiculous conversations on the shop floor. From 'Did Beatrix Potter ever write a book about dinosaurs?' to the hunt for a paperback which could forecast the next year's weather; and from 'I've forgotten my glasses, please read me the first chapter' to 'Excuse me... is this book edible?: here is a book for heroic booksellers and booklovers everywhere.This full-length collection illustrated by the Brothers McLeod also includes top 'Weird Things' from bookshops around the world.

    George MacDonald Fraser is the author of the "Flashman" novels.

    How did I know the President of the United States would be on the flight that day?”Where flight attendant Marsha Marks goes, funny things happen, and she tells them all in this hilarious and insightful chronicle of her career as a naive flight attendant and a struggling author. From missed flights to missing uniforms, miracle babies to indecipherable southern accents, Flying by the Seat of My Pants is a laugh-out-loud reminder of what is important and what keeps us steady through the turbulence of life.

    Johnstone, an outfielder and pinch hitter for the Dodgers, Cubs, Padres, Yankees, Phillies, A's, and White Sox shares humorous stories about his teammates and career.

    His specially embroidered jacket, laden with medals, made him the most decorated dog in history.Extracted from the bestselling title Beyond The Call Of Duty, the story of the unofficial mascot for the 26th ‘Yankee’ Division and his rescuer Private Robert J Conroy takes us on a journey through the build up to WWI and beyond."

    30,000 first printing."

    So Phyllida began to write out the day's gossip at the kitchen table, putting her notes by Annie's bed before going to hers. One night as her husband wandered off to bed he muttered darkly that she spent so much time each evening writing to Annie she could have written a book. 'And illustrated it!' Here it is.It is a book full of the delights of a warm and loving household. Of Boot the Cat being sick after over-indulging in spiders; the hunt for cleaning products from the dawn of time; persistently and mysteriously malfunctioning hearing aids; an unusual and potentially hilarious use for a clove of garlic; and the sad disappearance of coconut logs from the local sweetshop.It's about the special place at the heart of a home held by a woman born in another age. Who polished the brass when it was 'looking red at her'. Who still bore a scar from being hit by her employer when, as a young woman, she was in service. Who could turn the heel of a sock and the collar of a shirt, and make rock-cakes, bread pudding and breast of lamb with barley.

    A world of speakeasies and dancing girls where a gambler or bootlegger is perfectly normal and respectable in every way. Those familiar with "Guys and Dolls" know what to expect!