First Comes Love


Douglas E. Brinley - 2002
    First Comes Love is that book.With insight, wisdom, and wit, Drs. Brinley and Ogletree write about:Preparing for marriage nowMaintaining an eternal perspectiveBecoming the “right” person before you find the “right” personPlanning to marry in the templeIntimacy in marriagePractical money management practicesPreparing for marital differencesAnd much moreAs President Gordon B. Hinckley said, “The most important step you have made or will make in your life is marriage. Its consequences are many, so important and so everlasting. No other decision will have such tremendous consequences for the future.” For couples who are seriously dating or are already engaged, First Comes Love will provide needed perspective and will help prepare anyone for the tremendous blessings and inevitable challenges of marriage.

How To Do Motivational Interviewing: A Guidebook


Bill Matulich - 2010
    In this concise book, you will learn how to do Motivational Interviewing (MI), the evidence-based, client-centered counseling approach that has demonstrated effectiveness for a range of psychological, behavioral, and health related issues. Rather than the counselor arguing for the client to change, the MI approach helps elicit client's own arguments for behavior change. Some of the topics covered include: how to prepare for an MI session, how to assess your client's motivation using two simple questions, how to ask powerful, strategic questions that move a client toward healthy behavior change, how to handle "resistance" or discord in the therapeutic relationship, and how to give information and advice in the MI consistent way that is acceptable to the client. The author, an experienced psychologist, psychotherapist, public speaker, and MI instructor, shows how simple counseling techniques, taught in any beginning counseling class, can be powerful when used strategically to tap into cliients' own motivation. Anyone who works with people including doctors, nurses, psychologists, addiction counselors, social workers, case managers, family advocates, lay counselors, correctional staff, dentists, life coaches, dietitians, nutritional counselors, physical therapists and others would benefit from the information in this book. The second edition updates the information and concepts presented in the first edition based on recently published texts of MI and adds a useful glossary.

Traumatic Narcissism: Relational Systems of Subjugation


Daniel Shaw - 2013
    Focusing on the dynamics of narcissism in interpersonal relations, Shaw describes the relational system of what he terms the 'traumatizing narcissist' as a system of subjugation - the objectification of one person in a relationship as the means of enforcing the dominance of the subjectivity of the other.Daniel Shaw illustrates the workings of this relational system of subjugation in a variety of contexts: theorizing traumatic narcissism as an intergenerationally transmitted relational/developmental trauma; and exploring the clinician's experience working with the adult children of traumatizing narcissists. He explores the relationship of cult leaders and their followers, and examines how traumatic narcissism has lingered vestigially in some aspects of the psychoanalytic profession.Bringing together theories of trauma and attachment, intersubjectivity and complementarity, and the rich clinical sensibility of the Relational Psychoanalysis tradition, Shaw demonstrates how narcissism can best be understood not merely as character, but as the result of the specific trauma of subjugation, in which one person is required to become the object for a significant other who demands hegemonic subjectivity. Traumatic Narcissism presents therapeutic clinical opportunities not only for psychoanalysts of different schools, but for all mental health professionals working with a wide variety of modalities. Although primarily intended for the professional psychoanalyst and psychotherapist, this is also a book that therapy patients and lay readers will find highly readable and illuminating.

Click: The Magic of Instant Connections


Ori Brafman - 2010
    You meet someone new—at a party or at work—and you just hit it off. There is an instant sense of camaraderie. In a word, you “click.” From the bestselling authors of Sway, Click is a fascinating psychological investigation of the forces behind what makes us click with certain people, or become fully immersed in whatever activity or situation we’re involved in.    From two co-workers who fall head over heels for each other while out to dinner and are married a month later (and fifteen years later remain just as in love), to a team of scientists who changed the world with the magic of their invention, these kinds of peak experiences, when our senses are completely focused on the moment, are something that individuals—and companies—strive to achieve. After all, when you’re in the “zone,” you’re happier and more productive. Why is it that we click in certain situations and with certain people, but not with others? Can this kind of magical connection be consciously encouraged?  Is there a way to create such peak experiences, whether on a date or in your job?   According to Ori and Rom Brafman, there is.  In a powerful, story-driven narrative that weaves together cutting-edge research in psychology and sociology, the Brafmans explore what it means to “click”: the common factors present when our brain and senses are fully engaged. They identify five “accelerators” that increase the likelihood of these kinds of magic connections in our work and relationships.  From actors vying for a role on a popular TV series to police officers negotiating with hostage takers, we learn how one can foster an environment where we can click with another person and shape our thinking, behavior, and emotions.  A fascinating journey into how we engage with the world around us, Click will transform our thinking about those moments when we are in the zone and everything seems to fall into place. Acclaim for Sway:“A provocative new book about the psychological forces that lead us to disregard facts or logic and behave in surprisingly irrational ways.” –New York Times “A unique and compulsively readable look at unseen behavioral trends.” –Fortune"A breathtaking book that will challenge your every thought, Sway hovers above the intersection of Blink and Freakonomics."--Tom Rath, coauthor of the New York Times #1 bestseller How Full Is Your Bucket?“[An] engaging journey through the workings—and failings—of the mind…Their stories of senselessness…are as fascinating as the lessons we learn from them.” –Fast Company"Count me swayed--but in this instance by the pull of entirely rational forces. Ori and Rom Brafman have done a terrific job of illuminating deep-seated tendencies that skew our behavior in ways that can range from silly to deadly. We'd be fools not to learn what they have to teach us."--Robert B. Cialdini, author of New York Times bestseller Influence"If you think you know how you think, you'd better think again! Take this insightful, delightful trip to the sweet spot where economics, psychology, and sociology converge, and you'll discover how our all-too-human minds actually work."--Alan M. Webber, founding editor of Fast Company

Healing from a Narcissistic Relationship: A Caretaker's Guide to Recovery, Empowerment, and Transformation


Margalis Fjelstad - 2017
    Healing from a Narcissistic Relationship offers guidance about what to expect as the relationship unravels and how to cope with the fallout. It also helps the reader learn to truly disengage and move through the grief process.Presenting techniques for healing and rebuilding self-esteem and self-confidence, this book offers a guide to developing emotional strength and encourages forgiveness and reconciliation with the past. It shows the reader how to increase emotional self-protections, quit caretaking in relationships, and become more independent and self-loving. Using real stories, Margalis Fjelstad offers a process of healing that can direct the reader away from former patterns of inequitable relationships and toward loving, caring connections that can truly grow healthfully and flourish. It shows that ending a relationship with a narcissist may be the best thing that ever happened.--Elayne Savage, PhD, relationship and workplace coach; professional speaker; author of Don't Take It Personally! The Art of Dealing with Rejection and Breathing Room - Creating Space to Be a Couple

Get the Guy: How to Find, Attract, and Keep Your Ideal Mate


Matthew Hussey - 2013
    Here's a book dedicated to telling you what you can do. In his book, Get the Guy, Matthew Hussey - relationship expert, matchmaker, and star of the reality show Ready for Love - reveals the secrets of the male mind and the fundamentals of dating and mating for a proven, revolutionary approach to help women to find lasting love. Matthew Hussey has coached thousands of high-powered CEOs, showing them how to develop confidence and build relationships that translate into professional success. Many of Matthew's male clients pressed him for advice on how to apply his winning strategies not to just get the job, but how to get the girl. As his reputation grew, Hussey was approached by more and more women, eager to hear what he had learned about the male perspective on love and romance. From landing a first date to establishing emotional intimacy, playful flirtation to red-hot bedroom tips, Matthew's insightfulness, irreverence, and warmth makes Get the Guy: Learn Secrets of the Male Mind to Find the Man You Want and the Love You Deserve a one-of-a-kind relationship guide and the handbook for every woman who wants to get the guy she's been waiting for.

The Flight from Intimacy: Healing Your Relationship of Counter-dependence — The Other Side of Co-dependency


Janae B. Weinhold - 2008
    The Flight from Intimacy, by psychologists Janae and Barry Weinhold, reveals counter-dependency as the major barrier to creating intimate relationships. People with counter-dependent behaviors appear strong, secure, and successful on the outside, while on the inside they feel weak, fearful, insecure, and needy. They function well in the world of business but often struggle in intimate relationships. Being in a relationship with this kind of person can be extremely frustrating.The Flight from Intimacy shows readers how to recognize and cope with counter-dependent people. And if you recognize yourself in the description above, this book will help you learn how to change. It teaches readers how to use committed relationships to heal childhood wounds and provides proven ways to use conflicts as opportunities for creating intimate, partnership relationships.

In Session: The Bond Between Women and Their Therapists


Deborah A. Lott - 2000
    Why do so many women develop profound feelings for their therapists? What makes the therapy bond different from any other, and what factors make it therapeutic? In Session enters the consulting room and cuts straight to the heart of the complex psychotherapy relationship.

Against Love: A Polemic


Laura Kipnis - 2003
    Love is, as everyone knows, a mysterious and all-controlling force, with vast power over our thoughts and life decisions.But is there something a bit worrisome about all this uniformity of opinion? Is this the one subject about which no disagreement will be entertained, about which one truth alone is permissible? Consider that the most powerful organized religions produce the occasional heretic; every ideology has its apostates; even sacred cows find their butchers. Except for love.Hence the necessity for a polemic against it. A polemic is designed to be the prose equivalent of a small explosive device placed under your E-Z-Boy lounger. It won't injure you (well not severely); it's just supposed to shake things up and rattle a few convictions.

10 Great Dates Before You Say 'I Do'


David Arp - 2003
    Couples will love growing together while going out together:Share your hopes and dreamsAppreciate your differencesCommunicate and connectDevelop spiritual intimacyEvaluate your relationshipCelebrate romanceAnd more!